Transcript
jesse thorn
Hi. It’s Jesse, the founder of Max Fun. Coming to you from the microphone at my home office, where I am socially segregating. So… we promised you a Max Fun Drive this week, but things… haven’t exactly gone how we expected. So given the pandemic, we’re gonna postpone this year’s drive. Uh, events are still fluid, so we’re hesitant to give you specifics about new dates. Right now we have late April penciled into our calendars. We’ll keep you posted about that. As it stands, a lot of our Drive machinery was already cranked up, so for one thing—you might hear a reference or two to the Drive in our shows, which might’ve been recorded before we made this decision. And, uh, here is some good news—there’s a bunch of great bonus content available for all of our Max Fun members! If you’re a member and you missed the email with instructions on how to listen, check your spam folder or log in at MaximumFun.org/manage. Uh, also at MaximumFun.org/manage, you can change your membership if your circumstances have changed. We know this is a tough time for a lot of people and we understand. You can also go to MaximumFun.org/join at any time if you’d like to become a member. During the next couple weeks—what would have been the Drive—we are going to do our best to be extra-available to uh. Uh, we’ve got some streaming events planned; some social media stuff. We know a lot of folks are isolated right now and we want to help provide comfort in the best ways that we know how. You can follow us on social media and we’ll let you know what’s up. During this tough time, I have been feeling really grateful for my community of colleagues here at MaxFun, and for you—the folks who make our work possible. Goofy as that work may sometimes be. Stay safe out there—we’re thinking of you.
biz ellis
This is Biz. I’m a part-time working mom with two full-blown kids.
theresa thorn
And I’m Theresa. I have a family business, two young kids, and a toddler.
biz
This is a show about life after giving life. Don’t listen with your kids, ‘cause there will be swears. This… is One Bad Mother.
music
“Summoning the Rawk” by Kevin MacLeod. Driving electric guitar and heavy drums. [Continues through dialogue.]
biz
This week on One Bad Mother—it’s the Very Special Pandemic Genius Spectacular!
crosstalk
Biz and Theresa: Wooooo! [Biz and Theresa repeatedly affirm each other as they discuss their respective weeks.]
biz
[Laughs.] Theresa and I are in two different locations. We have got Skype happening. We’ve got me hopefully recording this entire thing on my end, and we are also Facetiming on mute so that we can see each other. I gotta tell you—there’s no better time to be living in a pandemic [through laughter] than now.
theresa
Than in the Facetime times? Yeah.
biz
Yeah. How are you, Theresa?
theresa
Wow. Um—
biz
Yeah! Should be a simple, easy answer.
theresa
Yeah. It’s easy. No, it’s pretty crazy right now! You guys know. I only know how hard this is for me? And it dawned on me yesterday—like, oh yeah. My… husband and I are self-employed. Can work from home.
biz
Mm-hm.
theresa
And our business is in podcasting, which is not particularly… at risk.
biz
Right.
theresa
In this particular situation right now. And this situation is really really hard for us!
biz
Yeah!
theresa
So I feel like we are… in a very, very privileged position right now? And things still feel really scary and really crazy and really upside-down. It’s just a scary—it’s a scary thing. I don’t really understand how… we’re all coping? Right now?
biz
[Through laughter] Me, neither!
theresa
Just psychologically? Uh, but also just the feeling… that… I know everybody is… kind of scrambling? And trying to figure out what to do? And so… I’m—I—it was a hard decision to, y’know, put the pledge drive on hold? ‘Cause the Max Fun Drive is always kind of fun? And so—y’know.
biz
Yeah! It’s really fun!
theresa
Yeah! But I think that I’m glad? Because I don’t even know how to think about that right now and I’m sure you don’t either, Biz. So I guess I’m just—I’m grateful already for our community and just wanting to kind of be here with you guys, even though we can’t all physically be in the same place we can still be here for each other. And that is actually really comforting. Because that is—that’s something we have been doing for a long time— [Biz laughs.] —and we kind of know how to do. Is be here but not—here.
biz
Be here. Yeah!
crosstalk
Theresa: So—we’re here! Biz: I—100% agree.
biz
Yeah!
theresa
Yeah.
biz
Well, it’s nice to see you.
theresa
Nice to see you, too, Biz. How are—how are you doing with everything?
biz
Well… I have a cold. [Laughs.] Which is a weird thing to have during a pandemic. It’s a little sinus infection. That’s been brewing. Weird things, uh, like—I was telling Theresa, like, it’s so weird to just have like a normal thing, cold-wise, happening? When there’s a pandemic happening. ‘Cause you’re like—am—like, how do I not freak out about it? How do I not—how does my brain not go to crazy places?
theresa
Right. Yeah.
biz
And I’m like—everybody? I don’t have it. Or to the kids, I’m like, I don’t have it. I just need to rest. Because tomorrow I’m gonna be with you forever. So like— [Theresa laughs.] It’s okay. I don’t have the coronavirus. And then Ellis—Ellis comes to check on me and he opens the bedroom door and he goes—how are you doing, Mama? And I said, I’m good, Ellis! You have the coronavirus. No, Ellis. I do not have the coronavirus. And then he, like, slowly backs away. He goes—[unconvinced] okay. I think you have the coronavirus. [Theresa laughs.] And like, closes the door. And I’m like, goddammit. Yeah! It just… everything got weird, like, really fast. Like—my distrust for everything went way up.
theresa
Yep.
biz
Like—my sense of like—what’s okay? What’s not okay? Like—I have moments where I’m like—am I ever leaving the house again?
theresa
Yeah!
biz
Yeah! So… I just—
theresa
‘Cause nobody knows!
crosstalk
Theresa: That’s why! Biz: Nobody knows!
theresa
Like, we’re trying to figure out, like… trying to figure out—well, mostly the schools are shut down but we’re trying to figure out different things. Like, Jesse was supposed to go to DC for a funeral and like—we ended up deciding to cancel. But the—it took us a long time to decide that because… we’re like—who do we ask? Like—
crosstalk
Theresa: How do—there’s no one to ask! Biz: Yeah! Who’s supposed to tell us if—
biz
Yeah! I agree!
theresa
There’s no one who knows what to do.
biz
Yeah! And—and that’s— [Theresa laughs.] Great. Yeah. It’s a lot of like… [Laughs.] Self-trust? Which sometimes as a parent, we’re not the best at?
theresa
Yeah.
biz
And like… it’s… y’know. Look. There’s already—here’s—here’s the thing. This is where we are. This is where I feel like we have to be right now. Because it’s impossible to even talk about… the coronavirus and what’s going on without, like, the fear of making somebody more anxious. Making myself more anxious. [Laughs.] Maybe saying something totally not true, scientifically. And… y’know, we’re all sucking up. At—by this point, by the time this airs—everything is shut down. We’re all home. Right? And there’s already—I’ve already gotten like a million emails from different parenting podcasts? [Laughs.] Or like, Kiwi Crates, stuff like this, where they already—they already have great and helpful ideas.
theresa
There’s a lot of resources!
biz
Yeah. That’s not gonna be us. [Both laugh wildly.] We are only here to recognize the struggle. To accept that it won’t be pretty but it will be something? To take the good ideas when they come and to remember—this is very important—no one is doing pandemic winning at you. And—we all know these activities that people suggest are gonna last five minutes. With an hour prep and an hour cleanup. And that’s okay. It’s 100% weird out there and we’re all doing a good job for at least… one moment of the day. So… that is why today? We are gonna celebrate those brief moments with the first-ever—and probably not the last!—Very Special Pandemic Genius Spectacular.
music
Symphonic fanfare music.
biz
Theresa. A Very Special Pandemic Genius Spectacular. ‘Cause no one’s failing during a pandemic. Let’s start… with us. Genius me!
clip
[genius insert]
theresa
Okay. I… have been doing face-painting at home with my kids! [Biz laughs.]
biz
That’s so good!
theresa
Yeah! It’s good! I just happen to have a face-painting set that I got a while back? That we just kind of… weren’t using? And what I love about face-painting right now is… [Biz laughs.] There’s so much time. There’s endless amounts of time, and I don’t have that weird feeling like… okay. They’re gonna, like, nap on this. And then need to go somewhere? And look funky but not allow me to wash it off? Y’know what I mean? Like—I don’t have to worry that like tomorrow somebody’s face is gonna look vaguely orange or green? And like at school, that’s gonna be weird? We can just go wild with the facepaint. And I also—I enjoy facepaint? Like, it’s—it’s kind of like a calm, artistic activity to me? Not like I’m doing the most amazing job, but just like—I—it’s kinda like doing hair to me. Like, it’s fun. It’s like relaxing and fun? So it’s… it’s good for me. It’s fun for them. It’s stress-free… face-painting.
biz
That… is fucking genius.
theresa
Thank you.
biz
Yes. We have been… for, uh, Katy Belle allowing Facetime—that wasn’t really something we were letting her do? But given she can’t see her friends? We have been doing Facetime and I think that’s been a great way for her to not feel… totally disconnected? It’s like—a little more special than being on the phone. And for Ellis, we’ve been—and this really is a friend of ours’ idea ‘cause they sent the first one? But they sent us a video. Their kid—who plays with Ellis—wanted to send a video of him describing the Lego set he was working on? And it was fucking amazing. And Ellis was way into it. So then we made a video. And we sent it back. And so—for like five-year-olds, six-year-olds who can’t really facetime or do phone calls yet? This has proven to be, like, little 30-second videos of them showing you something? And then sending it to friends. Not only is that an activity—it—I don’t know! It’s been helping them stay connected, too. So there ya go.
theresa
I really like that. That’s great.
biz
Thank you. Now. Let’s settle in… and listen to some really great ideas? And I have selected a super winner to kick us off.
theresa
Okay. Great.
caller
[Answering machine beeps.] Hi! This is Mary Ellen, and I have an accidental genius! So my two-year-old was obsessed with temporary tattoos and we were running out of space, so I ended up putting a Cat in the Hat one on his forearm. And as it turns out, every time he had to cough or sneeze I just tell him to give it to the Cat in the Hat and he would cough or sneeze into his elbow. If you have a two-year-old? Or any kid who doesn’t understand coughing or sneezing into their elbow, try this; temporary tattoos and I bet stickers will work on long-sleeved shirts. Thank you everybody! And you’re all doing a really great job.
biz
Booooom!
theresa
It’s so good!
biz
Booom! I—
theresa
By the way—I’m sorry. I just have to say— [Biz laughs.] When she said we’re running out of space, I thought she meant like storage space? [Biz laughs.] For all the, like, all the temporary tattoos? I didn’t—which is also hilarious. But also, the idea of running out of space on her two-year-old’s body?
crosstalk
Theresa: Because it’s so covered in temporary tattoos! [Laughs.] Biz: Yeah. Oh, yeah. I’m like—
biz
Do we have, like, neck tattoos going on? Face tattoos? But like you said, Theresa, no one’s gotta go anywhere so let’s do face tattoos!
theresa
Yeah! Who cares? Yeah. Perfect time for it.
biz
You are a fucking genius.
theresa
Yeah, you are.
biz
You are—[lost for words]—there is no better way to kick off the Pandemic Genius Spectacular than that.
theresa
Yeah.
biz
Now. Let’s have another!
caller
[Answering machine beeps.] This is my small genius. I have to type in my password a lot for work. So I recently changed it to “I Am Doing A Great Job!” So I get to tell myself many, many, many times a day that I’m doing a great job. You guys are, too! Keep safe.
biz
I love this!
theresa
It’s so good.
biz
It’s even more important now? Than ever!
theresa
It is.
biz
Yeah! I… this is so… smart!
theresa
Yeah. I—it reminds me of… the call we had where the parent had their phone number as the kid’s iPad password? So that they could—the kid could learn to remember the phone number? That’s what the kid needs to learn to remember. What we need to learn to remember— [Biz laughs.] —is that we’re doing a great job! It’s like the same— [through laughter] but different.
biz
Yes! You are incredible.
theresa
Yeah.
biz
Next!
caller
[Answering machine beeps.] Hey, I’m leaving a message with my, um, hopefully genius pandemic moment. So… my… anniversary is this month. And my in-laws are the only people in town who really take care of our kids for us when we are able to get out of the house and go on a date or whatever. But… they went to spring training; now they’re coming back and they’re gonna be under quarantine and we’re under quarantine and everyone’s stuck at home and it’s really frustrating because we don’t get any moment without anyone else. [Laughs.] But I had this idea that maybe we could test-drive a morning date, where we wake up at 5:00 and Lefty makes some coffee and I get some scones from the store and we watch a movie with our headphones plugged in so that we don’t wake the kids. And we tried it a few days ago? And it was really nice. We got some time together, and it was kid-free. It was quiet. There was hot coffee! So, I mean, I think we might end up spending our anniversary that way this year. And I mean, if nothing else it’ll be a good memory, right? So, uh, you’re all doing a great job and we can totally do this. Bye.
theresa
This is amazing!
biz
It really—it really is. It’s… the counterpoint to the, like… [mocking voice] “get up early and do it!” If you and your partner are both into getting up a little early? In quiet and like—I—I think—with the headphones?
theresa
Yeah.
biz
I—it is—
theresa
It’s so good!
biz
It really is good. And particularly clever when we can’t go out!
theresa
Right.
biz
It’s… you’re so good!
theresa
It’s so smart. I love it. And I—it’s so, like—it’s so—kind of—sweet ‘cause it’s obvious how much you love each other?
biz
Yeah, I know!
theresa
You know what I mean? Like— [Biz laughs.] That’s a really big deal to do that!
biz
I was thinking—you married well! [Theresa laughs.] Or they married well! You both married well! I—yeah. You guys are doing a remarkable job. [Laughs.]
theresa
You are.
caller
[Answering machine beeps.] Hi! This is Meghan. And I’m calling with a pandemic genius! I didn’t get in on the toilet paper hoarding memo. Apparently, I’m not on that distribution list. Um, so when I realized I’m running out, I did two things. Number one, I realized that I can just go back to the laundry that I had with cloth diapers! And number two—and this is the real genius—I bought condiment bottles—like, the little plastic squirty bottles? Um, to take the place of a peri bottle! It’s like a manual bidet. And we are gonna get through this because we’re all doing a great job. Thank you, One Bad Mother and the entire community for making this pandemic a little easier to get through.
biz
Madam? You are next-level genius.
theresa
That’s— [Biz laughs.] Serious.
biz
Yeah! The—peri—to remember our life, if a baby came out of you—if that’s how a kid got in your house, uh, yeah! There was a lot of squirting to keep oneself clean back there! And… yeah! You—if you used cloth diapers, you were putting shit in your wash all the time, right? [Biz and Theresa laugh.] Just—I love this.
theresa
I love it, too.
biz
I love this so much.
theresa
Yeah! Also, I feel like—okay, now I know what to, like… do if I need—if I get stuck.
biz
And probably there’s not a huge rush on condiment bottles right now.
theresa
Right? [Biz laughs.] Right?
caller
[Answering machine beeps.] Hi, Biz and Theresa! Uh, this has yet to be determined if it’s a genius or a fail. Time will tell. But we’re sort of anticipating schools being closed, though New York City hasn’t made that call yet. In a fit of desperation I entered the [inaudible] a Lord of the Flies moment. I broke down and did what I never thought I would do—ever, ever, ever thought I would do—I bought my kids a Nintendo. Because I’m pretty sure if we’re all in quarantine for God knows how many weeks? We are all going to need something to amuse ourselves. So it’s partly for them and also a little bit for me. Hang in there! We’re all doing a great job.
biz
Yes, you did! Yes, you did. You bought that Nintendo.
theresa
Yeah!
biz
You did it, and do you know who will enjoy it? You. You will enjoy it. Maybe you’ll share it with your children. Maybe you will not. But either way? You… did it.
theresa
Yeah! It’s also just comforting. To know, like—I got something… to make this… more manageable.
biz
Yeah! I agree. Let’s all do things to make this more manageable. [Laughs.]
theresa
Yes.
biz
You’re doing a great job!
caller
[Answering machine beeps.] Hi, One Bad Mother! This is a genius for the coronavirus containment, uh, special. I—uh, my kid’s school starts closing next week and so we have decided to make a schedule. They don’t have to get up early. They don’t have to—I mean, they can watch TV first thing in the morning and kind of, like, and play so they can get their… I don’t know. Energy out, or whatever. But then we’re starting school [inaudible] around 9, 9:30. So we’re making a plan on what they’re learning each day. Um… and adding in… recess, lunch, physical education. [Laughs.] Um, art and music. Uh, depending on the day. And… they have to get dressed for this quote-unquote “school” that we’re doing. Um, I wanna make it so that we have a plan every day and we’re gonna post the plan? On the wall. So that they understand what we’re doing, when we’re doing it. And I’m doing this for my six and eight-year-old next month, and my baby at home’s three months. Um, she will have to be managed in there. So… it will hopefully be a genius! I might be calling with some fails later, um, when it comes to trying to nurse and stick to schedule. But, um, that’s my genius for now. Is… having plans and following through with those plans. We are lucky, though? In a sense because their teachers—their school, um, the teachers are giving them some stuff to do so I can help them learn with the supplements that the teachers are sending home with them. Anyways, everybody’s doing a great job and it’s really hard right now. Um, I hope we all can find some time for self-care. Thanks! Bye.
biz
You know what? That is right. Schedules! What—I—like a schedule. I know I am not good at implementing a schedule about two hours in with my children here in the house. [Laughs.] But I write them down! At the beginning of the day! And I talk it out. And… yeah! A lot of schools are sending stuff home and I think… what the unknown is, is like… what they’re sending home for my ten-year-old is going to have a lot. I don’t quite understand what’s happening with the kindergartener? Like, what at-home learning is going to be? Like, what that means? But! We, too, will have a schedule that we will put on a wall. That may or may not happen. But the real thing is you’re scheduling some peace of mind for yourself! Right? [Laughs.]
theresa
Yeah! I think it’s genius. I—I like this call because I feel like you… are just talking through… all the things— [Biz laughs.] —that are making you feel like it’s going to be okay. Like, you’re like—we have a plan. We’ve got… the thing on the wall. We’re gonna go—we’re gonna do this. We’re gonna do recess. You mentioned, like, things that are physical activity, like a lot of times. [Biz laughs.] Which I really, really appreciate. But you’re—you’re kind of—you’re looking ahead and you’re seeing, like, what is going to make this work? Rather than just… showing up and saying, I don’t know. I don’t know what’s gonna happen. So I like… I like the optimism? I like the positivity— [Biz and Theresa laugh.] And I like the taking of the steps. Taking steps. Like, the—I feel like that’s—that’s what we’re doing right now. [Laughs.] We just watched Frozen 2 yesterday? [Biz laughs.] And there’s that theme of Frozen 2 that’s like, when you don’t know what the future holds just do the next right thing? [Biz laughs.] And like it’s kind of weird how… relevant that is? To right now? And this is what this call is to me. Like, it’s just like—I don’t really know? But I can do this. [Biz laughs.] I can do this right thing.
caller
[Answering machine beeps.] Hi! I’m calling with a small, easy genius. Um, I’m Jen and I live in Illinois. And that small, easy genius is an activity, um, that only requires a pen and paper? Um, my five-year-old loves to dictate stories to me? And have me write them down. We’ve been doing this since he was about two and he’s always absolutely loved it. So I just grab a pen and paper. He tells me a story. I write it down word for word and then read it back to him. We keep them all in a folder and I date them so it’s great for me, too, ‘cause I can see how his stories change from year to year. Sometimes he turns them into an actual book with illustrations. Um, it’s just something he really likes that doesn’t require a lot of setup or time and hopefully teaches him a little bit about the magic of books! So. Hopefully that helps! Um, just wanted to say I’m so thankful for this community. We’re all doing a really good job and we are not alone in this. Thanks. Bye.
biz
You are right! We are not alone!
theresa
Yeah!
biz
That was such a good idea!
theresa
Yeah!
biz
‘Cause—yeah! I—that’s a really, like… tell me a story. You write it all down. I—it’s such a great, simple, easy—you can be sitting on the couch for it?
theresa
Well that’s what I was thinking! Like, this is like a great one not just for the fact that it doesn’t need supplies. But like… if you’re feeling tired… and out of ideas…
crosstalk
Biz: Why would you feel that way? [Laughs.] Theresa: You don’t have to—
theresa
Yeah. Why would you? Not that I ever do. But like you don’t—it’s a pretty passive—like, you have to be engaged. You have to be listening and writing, but you don’t have to be doing much more than that. So it feels like a low-impact activity? Like, a really good—good one.
biz
Yes! You’re doing a great job.
caller
[Answering machine beeps.] Hi! This is a genius. I was trying to figure out where to start cleaning my house while we are, uh, socially distancing. And my husband suggested we start with our room. And I actually, uh, went along with it because it turns out that we are selves. And we can have the cleanest room in the house instead of it always being the kids’ room! And bonus—if the kids are “helping” too much? Uh, two out of three of them are still scared of the vacuum cleaner— [Biz laughs.] —so all I have to do is turn the vacuum cleaner on and they scurry away and leave me alone for like ten minutes. It’s amazing. [Biz laughs.] You guys are doing a great job. Keep it up. We’ve got this. [Biz laughs.]
theresa
Oh, man.
biz
I… A—thank you for taking me back to the memory that Ellis hated vacuums. I absolutely was like—I’m about to vacuum! And it would be like the one time where they would all scurry to another room! [Laughs.]
theresa
So good.
biz
I’d have alone time! So that’s genius.
theresa
Yeah.
biz
But… having your own room clean?
theresa
Yeah.
biz
Yeah, it’s really important!
theresa
It’s so good! Especially if we have to be home all day!
biz
I know!
theresa
Yeah.
biz
You… are fucking genius.
theresa
Yeah, you are.
caller
[Answering machine beeps.] Hi, Biz and Theresa! I’m calling with a covid-19 genius! I… have a hard time trying to get my kids to wash their hands normally. So especially now, I’m really getting sick of asking them and reminding them to wash their hands after they do anything. Or before they do anything. So I went to the CDC’s website and they have free printable handwashing posters! And a lot of them are cute and geared towards kids. You know. There’s, like, superhero ones. And it’s really great! So I printed ‘em out and I hung ‘em by all of our sinks in our house! And it’s day two of being quarantined and so far? It’s kind of working! They see the sign; I put it right at their level so they can see it, and they remember to wash their hands! So—so far, so good! We’re surviving. We’re making it. Thanks. You guys are doing a great job. Bye.
biz
You are too!
theresa
Yeah!
biz
I mean, there—[nonsense sounds]—let’s just say this. Uh, we should be going to the CDC website for pretty much anything [through laughter] we have in terms of questions about this virus. But I love that they have made the posters that are, like, more geared towards kids? That’s genius! And good job putting them up. Also, I did see something going around where somebody had, like, 20-second lyrics of like—like—y’know—
theresa
Songs you can sing that last 20 seconds? Yeah.
biz
But it’s like, “Africa” by Toto. And like stuff like that—it’s like… songs that we like? [Laughs.] I was like—[singing] I bless the rains down in Aaaa—I’m washing for 20 seconds! Anyway. I love this!
theresa
Yeah, it’s great!
biz
Different world, guys. [Laughs.]
caller
[Answering machine beeps.] Hi! I’m calling with a pandemic genius moment! I decided to put my kid in the tub. With a bunch of washable paint! I told her she could do whatever she wanted. We painted the walls. She figured out how to use her face as a paintbrush and, uh, then we just took the tub afterwards. And that killed, like, an hour. So… only a million to go. [Biz laughs.] Thanks for having us call in. You’re doing a great job. Bye.
theresa
Yeah. [Biz laughs.] That’s why we need so many genius moments! That’s why we need all of these calls! Because each one… gets us about another hour! [Biz laughs.] At most! And then we need another one, please.
biz
Yep. Another hour at most. I… this is an oldie but a goodie. I—I love the painting in the tub.
theresa
It’s great.
biz
You are doing… a great job.
theresa
Yeah, you are. And your kids are really clean!
biz
Oh, they’re so clean!
caller
[Answering machine beeps.] I have a pandemic genius. We are trapped in the house with my toddler and my infant and we are out of milk! But obviously, uh, we’re trying to avoid grocery shopping and grocery delivery isn’t coming soon. So, um, when my toddler demanded French toast, I made it for him with some pumped breast milk! Because, y’know. It’s milk. It’s good for him. It’s even pre-sweetened! So there ya go. You’re all doing a good job. I see you trapped in the house trying to work, and we are doing our best and we will make it through.
crosstalk
Biz: I— Theresa: Yeah.
biz
Yeah.
theresa
Yes!
biz
Y’know who’s gonna survive the apocalypse? Parents.
theresa
Breastfeeding parents. [Laughs.]
biz
[Through laughter] Breastfeeding in particular! The rest of us will just find breastfeeders? [Laughs.] And ask for more French toast? [Laughs.]
theresa
Yeah.
crosstalk
Theresa: It’s so good. Biz: Can we have some more, please?
biz
It’s so—
theresa
You use what you have!
biz
Yes! Yes!
theresa
Yeah.
biz
It’s so… good. Also, I just love this fucking community [through laughter] so much. You guys are all so nice.
theresa
You are.
caller
[Answering machine beeps.] Hello! One Bad Mother. This is a coronavirus genius. I have my kids home for at least the next two weeks. Uh, since Illinois schools closed. And… um, we like to bake a lot? But seeing as… everyone in Illinois is also panic-shopping? There isn’t a lot of stuff out there. So, um, before things get too crazy, I… told my kids to look through a kid’s baking cookbook and mark three things they each would like to bake? And I’m gonna try to get supplies for those today. So that when we are stuck at home, I don’t have to go back out to get… things to keep them entertained! And fed. So it’ll be a double-whammy, ‘cause who doesn’t like delicious baked goods? While also keeping my kids happy! Thanks. We’re all doing a great job and we’re all gonna make it through this.
biz
Yes, we are! We are gonna make it through this! With delicious baked goods! As well!
theresa
But we’re gonna be kinda different on the other side of this. Let’s admit that. [Biz and Theresa laugh.]
biz
I was thinking about the baking one I got—I was like, ohhh, I’ll get some chocolate chips! We’ll make some chocolate chip cookies! So we’ll have—do something fun! And… none of us, like… oh my god. Uh—ugh. How do we bake together? [Theresa laughs.] We can’t share those cookies! And you can eat ‘em. ‘Cause you’re living in a petri dish right now. But like you can’t be like—hey guys. My kids and I made [through laughter] some cookies. The—it used to be funny to be like there’s definitely a booger in it. Now that’s not funny!
theresa
Right.
biz
Well, you’re doing a good job! [Laughs.]
theresa
You freeze the cookie dough!
biz
That is true.
theresa
Yeah.
biz
You can—wait. Will that kill all the germs?
theresa
That’s not what I was going for.
biz
Oh.
theresa
What I was—it probably—it probably will prevent germs— [Biz laughs.] —from growing. But actually no, that’s actually something we used to do sometimes is make a lot of batter and keep it in the freezer and then just make a few at a time. Like, bake a few cookies. Because we’re only, y’know, five people. So then you don’t have— [Biz laughs.] —like a huge amount of cookies sitting around that everybody’s eating all the time.
biz
That’s genius, too!
theresa
Yeah. That’s something.
biz
I love this!
theresa
Okay. [Biz laughs.]
caller
[Answering machine beeps. Cheerful toddler sounds interrupt throughout.] Hi, One Bad Mother! I’m calling with a genius. We’re all stuck at home. With all the… health [inaudible] stuff. And mini and I were starting to lose our minds. A little bit. Stir-crazy. So we went for a walk and she really wanted to swing! It’s—it’s not that warm here. It’s kind of chilly. So we hung up our swing in the backyard—[inaudible] the playground. Not the pool. And we have one of those… like, foot cover things? For the stroller or the carseat or like if you’re babywearing? And I put it over her! In the swing. And her legs are warm and she’s swinging and she’s happy. We’re outside. And… we’re… gonna make it one day more through this. Through this stuff. So. Thanks so much! You’re doing a great job. Love the show so much. Uh… hope you’re all hanging in there. Bye. [Biz laughs.]
theresa
Awww. Maybe our next show should just be happy kid sounds.
biz
I know!
theresa
That we ask people to send in. [Laughs.] [Biz laughs.] ‘Cause that was really sweet! I could just picture that kid swinging.
biz
I know!
theresa
Yeah.
biz
That’s so smart. To—I mean, like, I will tell you. It is easy to just stay inside.
theresa
Oh, yeah.
biz
That is… real easy. And… using the stroller leg warmer zip-up thing? We all know what we’re talking about.
theresa
Oh yeah!
biz
On the swing? That is really, really smart!
theresa
It is.
biz
You are doing a great job!
theresa
Yes. You are.
caller
[Answering machine beeps.] Hi! Uh, this is a genius. It’s actually on behalf of my… partner. Um, so we’re home. ‘Cause we have to be. Um, and he did a great job doing sort of a last-minute homeschool plan today. And one of the activities that he did with our two kids—who are eight and five—is watch some sex ed videos! So we went to—I think it’s Amaze.org, um, which we heard about from your show. I don’t remember when. So yeah! Our kids… learned some things today! And we relearned—or learned for the first time—some names of body parts and some other stuff. That is just good to know. And so it was a good time to do that. And then they colored some pictures of their bodies! So that was fun too. So that’s one of the things we did! Um… what else did we do? They planted some seeds outside. I think… there might be some baking happening. Um, worksheets were printed. We made a very rough schedule, um, of what we’re gonna do on weekdays. And… we did have some screentime as well. So I don’t know if that was the first day. We’ll see how this all goes. Okay. Thank you so much for this show and this hotline and everybody’s gonna get through this! Okay. Thanks. Bye.
biz
Yes!
theresa
Yes!
biz
Yes! Talk about homeschooling! [Theresa laughs.] I… love everything about this call.
theresa
Yeah! Me, too
biz
I like that all these activities took place in only one day. Only… a… uncertain amount of days to follow. [Laughs.] But Amaze.org—that is so… good!
theresa
Yeah. It’s really good. I—it’s also—it’s a good reminder that… when we’re homeschooling our kids—and I know some schools are providing materials? But like… there’s definitely gonna be some other time to fill. And it’s such a nice reminder that like we can use this time to do projects and activities about areas that we just find interesting or would like to share with our kids! Like it doesn’t have to be like—well, let’s see where are they in math right now. Let me jump in on that. Or like, well, what’s your unit on in this—y’know, it’s like… we have this time! We can use it for something that we feel either qualified to teach them? Or just interested in… working on with them!
biz
Yeah. We were like—I—we asked the kids, what do you want—if you could just like learn anything? Like, a skill or a talent or an act—like, what would you want to do? Katy Belle, of course, said Japanese. I was like, come on. Really? Thank god there are apps. Anyway. But like I was thinking like—how to slice bread and use kitchen knives! [Laughs.]
theresa
Yeah! I was thinking about cooking, too. Yeah.
biz
Yeah, exactly! I… love it.
theresa
Yes.
biz
You’re doing amazing!
theresa
Great job.
caller
[Answering machine beeps.] This is a coronavirus, uh, genius. And—or for any time, but specifically when you’re stuck inside. Um, I… had a big glass screen door? Or sliding door, in the back. And I used dry erase markers to let my kids draw all over it, and then we just wash it off and they get to draw something else! They are wildly entertained by it because they get to draw on something they would not otherwise be able to draw on. And… I get to make dinner in peace! Um, and we get to wash it off and do it again and they are still wildly entertained. Um, and I have a seven-, five-, and three-year-old. So… they, uh, tend to not all be entertained by the same thing. Anyway. Everyone’s doing a great job! Thanks so much. Bye.
biz
Yes!
theresa
Do dry erase markers work on glass? In general?
biz
I guess… I guess so! You should do a test area! [Laughs.]
theresa
Yeah! Do a test area first. That’s what I’m gonna do. But… this is actually… this could come in really handy! Because even if you don’t have sliding glass doors—we don’t—if you have windows that your kids can read, that could be really fun!
biz
I agree!
theresa
Each kid gets a window. [Biz laughs.]
crosstalk
Theresa: You know? To like, decorate however they want. Biz: [Through laughter] Each kid gets a window!
biz
I… love this!
theresa
I love it, too.
crosstalk
Theresa: Probably put some painter’s tape around the edges. Biz: Don’t forget to do a test. [Laughs.] Yes!
theresa
Yeah.
biz
Oh. We’re gonna come out on the other side of this alright. It’s just gonna be a mess. [Laughs.]
caller
[Answering machine beeps.] Hi! I am calling with, um… this pandemic genius. I’ve got going on. Uh, my whole family, we’ve self-quarantined just to… protect everybody and ourselves. Um, and in my preparation for this lockdown, I bought tampons. I remembered to get tampons! And I had my period! Today! So… I’m a genius because I thought of something that I would need. Yeah! I’m just—I’m doing really awesome today. Thanks. Love you guys.
biz
You are doing so… awesome!
theresa
You are awesome.
biz
I love this. What have we said on this show?
crosstalk
Theresa: Get tampons. I know. Biz: No one ever reminds you to get tampons or pads! [Laughs.]
theresa
I have to—I have to share that I… am also on my period and I did not buy tampons. And when I noticed that, I thought of you, Biz. And I was like—Biz would be so ashamed of me for not remembering to get tampons in event—in advance of this crisis! [Biz laughs.] Well. Something will work out.
biz
Yep. That’s right. Bidet. [Biz and Theresa laugh.]
caller
[Answering machine beeps.] Hi, One Bad Mother! This is a genius. A pandemic genius. We were supposed to go to Mexico to visit my parents down there. And made the decision not to go right after the big announcement on Thursday, uh, that borders were gonna shut down. And we were all devastated. We’ve been working to go to this trip for months. I had everyone packed. Bags packed for the airplane. The dogsitter. Everything booked. And so it was quite devastated for all when we had to cancel. So we went up to the party store; got a bunch of Mexican fiesta stuff—margarita mix. We turned on Mexican music. And we had a Mexico party here! It was a genius.
biz
Yes!
theresa
Yeah.
biz
I… this… yes! You—uh—we’ve done geniuses before of like “we had the party at home” or we—y’know, we had like a New Year’s Eve. We got directions? I mean, we got decorations. And I—there’ve been three birthday parties already cancelled that our kids had been invited to. And so I just wanna say—how much I see you? All parents who have kids that have had to have their parties cancelled or their trip to see their very special friends cancelled or any of those things? That’s really hard. And I like the idea of what you did by going and just bringing a little Mexico to you!
theresa
Yeah.
biz
It’s—
theresa
So good.
biz
It’s so smart. And it’s a fun activity! Yeah. I got crepe paper in the garage. [Laughs.]
caller
[Answering machine beeps.] Hi, One Bad Mother! This is a… planned genius that—I guess we’ll see how it implements. But, uh, in all of this, uh, I guess “excitement” of the past few weeks, um, my husband and I were thinking of… sort of new things to do with our toddler that we could weave into our schedule as, y’know, things to do not in a public place. Not around other people. But outside the house. And so we came up with, um, going to find… either construction sites or even like our local, uh… small airplane or regional airports? And this is our—our child really loves, like, all things that—all modes of transportation. So going to find the construction site and watching the trucks! Uh, parking near the airport and watching the planes take off and land! And we’re gonna try it and see how it goes. And… that’s where we are. [Laughs.] You’re doing a great job! Good luck. Bye.
biz
This is so good.
theresa
Yeah, it’s really good!
biz
We can still go out of the house!
theresa
Yeah.
biz
You have to figure out what that means for you?
theresa
Mm-hm.
biz
But like, being in your car… and… or sitting on the roof of—not the roof, but the, y’know, front of your car, watching construction or something? I think that is a really… sweet, good idea.
theresa
It is really good. I think it—it’s good to remember ‘cause, y’know, we’re gonna tire of the neighborhood walks. Like, the neighborhood walks are good? But… y’know… it—it’s really nice to do something different sometimes? And… it’s okay to [through laughter] use your care for that.
biz
[Through laughter] Yes it is!
theresa
Assuming you have a car.
biz
It’s just like an extension of your home.
theresa
Yep.
caller
[Answering machine beeps.] Hi! This is Claudia and I’m calling with a global pandemic genius! My son is two. And since we are self-quarantining for the foreseeable future, I got in touch with my brother and he shared his Disney+ login with me. And I put on my son’s first movie so that I could exercise in the basement. Because exercise is what makes me feel human. And being stuck in the house all day with a two-year-old doesn’t make me feel human? Uh, before listening to One Bad Mother I totally would’ve felt guilty about sticking him in front of a screen to take care of myself? But y’all have taught me that it’s all about balance and we’re all doing a great job. I’m a genius. Bye.
biz
Yes, you are a genius!
theresa
You are.
biz
And you’re right! You do deserve it! You’re not—we have talked about that on this show! We are… we can only give as much as we can give. Screentime is not going to hurt anyone. Okay? Like… you’re—you are okay doing exactly what you did.
theresa
Yep!
biz
Uh, it’s really smart and you deserve it. And it’s gonna help you, and it’s gonna help everybody in your house.
theresa
Absolutely. And there’s lots of great content! Right now. For kids. [Biz laughs.] Y’know? Like there’s stuff that not only will not be harmful? But there’s also like… stuff that will… broaden their horizons! And like give them—give them the opportunity to like think about things differently or be exposed to something they’ve never seen before or enjoy some music! Y’know? Like, there’s—there’s lots of stuff that can be really positive for them, too!
biz
That is correct. [Singing] Gonna go wild—wild Kratts! Gonna go—
crosstalk
Biz and Theresa [singing in unison]: —wild, wild, wild Kratts! [Biz laughs.]
caller
[Answering machine beeps.] Hi, One Bad Mother! Um, I have another genius for everyone who is weathering this covid-19 storm. Um, I’m in the Midwest. It’s just starting to be spring outside. And… I am very grateful that I live in a place where I have a yard. So even though… we are not going around other people, we’re still able to go outside and go for walks and things like that. So, um, today we… took advantage of the 40-degree weather. Bundled up. And went on a walk and we looked for signs of spring. Um, tomorrow we’re gonna go again and I’m going to give them my old… uh… digital camera that I don’t use anymore ‘cause I have a camera on my phone? So I’m gonna give them that and they’re going to start taking pictures and documenting spring happening around them. Um, they love looking at leaves and looking at different ones and talking about what’s fuzzy and what’s not and look at this green and that green. Um, and they are just so filled with joy and it really helps to break up the time inside. So go out there and look for signs of spring. ‘K. Good luck, everybody!
biz
You’re nice. And that is a nice activity. And I love using your own—your old—I have an old digital camera in a drawer. Y’know? It gives the going-out-for-the-walk a story and a purpose?
theresa
Mm-hm.
biz
Theresa and I both were talking this morning about how we both had like said to our kids, “We’re going on a walk!” or “we’re going outside to play!” and suddenly they’re like, “Neverrrr!” [Laughs.] But, uh, besides dragging them—kicking and screaming—maybe you told them they’re going on a hunt for spring! And you’ll give them a electronic device to take with them. [Biz and Theresa laugh.] That’d work in my house! You’re doing a really good job.
theresa
Yeah, you are.
caller
[Answering machine beeps.] Hi, Biz and Theresa and everybody else! Uh, this is a pandemic [through laughter] genius. Uh, which is that I’m usually, I guess, not very good at cleaning my house because I went to the store and, uh, everything was gone. The Lysol was gone. All the cleaning stuff was gone. And it’s like, oh well. And I came home and I had a full bottle of Lysol in my [through laughter] closet! Because I apparently never clean my house! So now all my doorknobs and surfaces and light switches are clean! Because old me didn’t ever use the Lysol. Hope you guys are doing a better job than I am! Or as good as a job as I am. [Biz laughs.] I don’t know! My house is clean now! Have a great day! Bye.
theresa
Yayyy!
biz
Yayyy!
theresa
Your house is clean!
biz
Yay for not having cleaned it before this pandemic! [Laughs.] [Theresa laughs.] [Through laughter] You’re doing a good job. There’s all kinda stuff like that I think we’re finding like everywhere.
theresa
Oh yeah.
biz
Where it’s like, ohhh! Look at this thing that I never used but is helpful now! [Laughs.]
theresa
Yeah! Maybe this is what this is for! [Biz laughs.]
caller
[Answering machine beeps.] Hey, all you One Bad Mothers out there! This is a coronavirus genius. I sent my kids away for the weekend to grandma’s house. And I know that’s against social distancing, but I did it anyway. Um, but I used that time to… stock up on some supplies like yarn, and fabric, and… um… do a little cleaning around the house and mostly just sat on the couch and enjoyed myself before the next couple of uncertain weeks are upon us. And my kids are home from school constantly. And… surprise to them, when they get home—even though they think they’re out of school—I’ve made a list of activities! How to properly load the dishwasher. How to operate the washer and dryer. How to clean a floor effectively. [Laughs.] So I’m also going to use this time to… teach them some things like sewing. And maybe crocheting, if I can convince them to do it. And then anything that we make during this time we’re gonna be donating. So… hope you’re all staying safe out there! And let’s all hope this thing passes and just remember you are not alone. I’m not alone. And we’re gonna get through this. Thanks. Bye.
theresa
I have two things to say about this.
biz
Please.
theresa
Thing number one: great job utilizing family nearby. I know it may be controversial because of social distancing things, but some people may consider the—their parent, who lives nearby, to be part of their household.
biz
Yeah!
theresa
Um, and… if I could’ve had [through laughter] my kids be with someone other than me over the weekend, I would have. [Laughs.] Um, just—and it—just to think about… y’know… how to be in the right headspace for this going forward, which is huge. The other thing I wanted to add is you totally reminded me about chores. And my youngest child, Curtis, who’s three, goes to a Montessori preschool and when they closed up, their teachers said—please, y’know, continue teaching at home and the main thing we’d ask you to work on is what we work on with them at school—which is chores! Please give your child jobs to do around the house. Please have your child be helping you with chores around the house. And I know that we talked on the show a lot about how hard this is? To… sometimes teach our kids to do things that we could just do a lot better and easier on our own! But I actually think that I might try to do this and I liked your call because… of the way you explained, like—almost like planning that out as part of the learning schedule! And this goes to, like—what do we want to teach our kids right now? Like, what could we work on? And I think loading the dishwasher properly is a really great skill! That will serve your family— [Biz laughs.] —and your kids for the rest of their lives!
biz
[Through laughter] I know.
theresa
So like there’s a lot of things like that that I think we are normally so rushed that we don’t really have time to, like, really work through with our kids! And this is actually a really good time to do some of those things. So good job, and thank you for that reminder!
biz
Yes. You’re doing such an amazing job. I just—for the record, I found out, um, my children were gonna be out of school when I was driving home on Thursday from a recording of Troubled Waters? I think it comes out later this week. Enjoyed that. But I was like—oh my god! I have one hour left before…
crosstalk
Biz: I have no hours left. Theresa: Forever. Yeah.
biz
I did not spend that hour wisely.
theresa
Mm.
biz
Yup. Now? We are going to wrap up on our final genius call for this Very Special Pandemic Genius Spectacular.
caller
[Answering machine beeps.] Hi! I am calling with a pandemic genius. So my mom is currently in, uh, a rehab facility recovering from some broken ribs. And, uh, as of 8 AM on Friday the 13th, uh, the facility is no longer allowing visitors. So I’m not able to get in and see her and she has another three weeks of recovery. So my genius is—last night at work, I swiped my whiteboard. So when I go to the facility tomorrow to drop off some clothing and some cards that she’s received, uh, her room’s on the first floor! So I can take my whiteboard and my whiteboard markers and I can knock on her window. Make a giant message that says “I love you, Mom! Get better!” And make silly faces at her through the safety of the window. That is my genius. Oh! And I also picked up some of those markers that are specifically made for writing on the window! So I can also leave a little bit more of a—of a permanent message that will wash away with the rain. So that is my—my—my dual genius, I guess! Bye!
biz
I love you.
theresa
Yep.
biz
This is—just so you know—I want everybody to know, she called back the next day? And she said it absolutely worked. And—
theresa
That’s amazing.
biz
It is—this—ohhhh! This makes me so happy and sad at the same time. I love this. I gotta tell ya, this has been one of the things that really has… uh… been hard to get off of my mind, is how many people have family in assisted living facilities, y’know, even just senior living communities. Hospitals. And the fact that you can’t get in to see them? Is… That’s… it’s all—it’s almost too much for me to get my head around. And this idea… of… the whiteboard? And writing messages on the window? May be the sweetest and nicest thing I’ve ever heard and it has, like, definitely inspired me to think about… y’know, having the kids write postcards or something? Just to send to facilities with people who are there? Um—so I just—good job. And I really hope that somebody else in a similar situation hears, uh, your genius and is able to implement it in some way in their life.
music
“Mom Song” by Adira Amram. Mellow piano music with lyrics. You are the greatest mom I’ve ever known. I love you, I love you. When I have a problem, I call you on the phone. I love you, I love you. [Music fades out.]
biz
Well, guys, I am not surprised at what a absolutely remarkable? Job. Everyone is doing. Yes—yes. There were some fails and—dare I say—many rants. [Laughs.] Left on the hotline in the last week alone. But that—uhhh—that is to be expected. Because we have a lot going on. And, y’know, I could even understand listening to this episode and getting mad at half of these ideas because when are you supposed to do it if you’re suddenly working from home for the first time? Right? Like—I get it. No one’s doing this at you, when—I mean—be wary of the Facebook and the social medias and all the things that come out because it will feel like… it can be very easy to feel like… you’re not doing a good job. During this. And… y’know, here’s the thing. We’re all gonna try our best. We’re all gonna try and trust our instincts. We’re all gonna try and help our kids get through this and each other get through this and our extended family get through this. One of the things that I love is that the One Bad Mother community has been doing this for so long? You guys have so many… One Bad Mother subgroups? That… I think are just a wonderful resource for your areas. Let’s… let’s try and stay connected. Let’s listen to what each other needs. Let’s try and help when we can. Y’know. I have a friend here and we’ve decided whenever one of us is trying to hit the store we’re going to contact each other? Y’know, just to see if somebody needs something. It’s little things like that. I—just—when I go on a walk, suddenly we’re all talking to each other! Like, neighbors like pass and they’re like, be well! I love that! I—[Laughs.] That’s a really positive thing. I think people actually are really their best during crisis. And so… I know how inspired we are by you guys? You’re doing a remarkable job. That’s—that’s what I learned today on this Genius Spectacular.
theresa
Yeah. I think a huge part of this is just the uncertainty and… and the more we can just be kind to each other? And… try to get comfortable with that uncertainty? The—the better off we’re going to be. And I know—for me—looking at a lot of the recommendations, still the like struggle that’s in the pit of my stomach is I just don’t know how to do anything with all of my kids at once? Like, I—I just—I have not—I feel like—I feel like I haven’t… been able to ever do one thing with all of my kids at once— [Biz laughs.] —at home. Like, I don’t know how… schoolwork is gonna go or how… like, even just group activities are gonna go. Or how to get some people to do one thing so that I can do something else with someone. Like, all of these, I feel like—I’m not saying it’s not gonna work? I’m just saying I don’t know how to do that yet. And so like, a lot of this is just… it’s just all really new? And the uncertainty is… really… it’s a different magnitude. [Laughs.] Than we have experienced in the past. So… I—I think—yes. Biz, you’re right on with just—all we can do is not only be kind to others? But be kind to ourselves?
biz
Yes!
theresa
And just recognize that we are doing everything that we can in a tough situation.
biz
Yeah. I mean… I was listening to what you were saying and I was thinking—oh my god, the only time I can ever get my kids to do exactly the same thing at the same time without fighting is… screentime.
theresa
Oh yeah.
biz
So—you know what? That’s… yayyyy educational television! [Theresa laughs.] Yeah. You just—exactly.
theresa
Yeah.
biz
You are all doing… a good job.
theresa
Yes.
biz
It is weird.
theresa
Yeah.
biz
And… all we can do—I mean, it’s—it’s like all the way back to the very beginning. The—you’re gonna get up. We’re gonna do it. Then we’re gonna go to bed. [Laughs.] And the next day we’re gonna get up and do it again. And the thing is, is that we see you? I know we’re seeing each other. Let’s just try and get through this day by day. You’ve got this.
theresa
Yep. You do.
biz
And—yeah! You do. Theresa?
theresa
Yes.
biz
Oh, you’re doing a good job!
theresa
Thanks, Biz. So are you.
biz
Thank you. And we will talk to you guys next week!
crosstalk
Biz and Theresa: Byeeee!
music
“Mama Blues” by Cornbread Ted and the Butterbeans. Strumming acoustic guitar with harmonica and lyrics. I got the lowdown momma blues Got the the lowdown momma blues Gots the lowdown momma blues The lowdown momma blues. Gots the lowdown momma blues Got the lowdown momma blues You know that’s right. [Music fades somewhat, plays in background of dialogue.]
biz
We’d like to thank MaxFun; our producer, Hannah Smith; our husbands, Stefan Lawrence and Jesse Thorn; our perfect children, who provide us with inspiration to say all these horrible things; and of course, you, our listeners.To find out more about the songs you heard on today’s podcast and more about the show, please go to MaximumFun.org/onebadmother. For information about live shows, our book and press, please check out OneBadMotherPodcast.com.
theresa
One Bad Mother is a member of the Maximum Fun family of podcasts. To support the show go to MaximumFun.org/donate. [Music continues for a while before fading out.]
speaker 2
Comedy and culture.
speaker 3
Artist owned—
speaker 4
—Audience supported.
About the show
One Bad Mother is a comedy podcast hosted by Biz Ellis about motherhood and how unnatural it sometimes is. We aren’t all magical vessels!
Join us every week as we deal with the thrills and embarrassments of motherhood and strive for less judging and more laughing.
Call in your geniuses and fails: 206-350-9485. For booking and guest ideas, please email onebadmother@maximumfun.org. To keep up with One Bad Mother on social media, follow @onebadmothers on Twitter and Instagram.
Get in touch with the show
onebadmother@maximumfun.org
@OneBadMothers
@onebadmothers
How to listen
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