TRANSCRIPT Ross and Carrie Meet Jimmy Stewart

Transcript

music
									
“Oh No, Ross and Carrie! Theme Song” by Brian Keith Dalton. A jaunty, upbeat instrumental.
ross
									
[Doing low, spooky voice] Hello, and welcome to Oh No, Ross and Carrie!, the show where we don’t just report on fringe science, spirituality, and claims of the paranormal, but take part ourselves.
carrie
									
[Doing spooky, high-pitched voice] Yeah! When they make the claims we show up so you don’t have to. I’m Carrie Poppy.
ross
									
And I’m Ross Blocher. [Using normal voice.] Welcome to the spooky episode.
carrie
									
Yeah!
ross
									
We’re a little late for Halloween.
carrie
									
[Normal voice] That’s my ghost voice.
ross
									
That— [Both laugh.] Your ghost voice is like, uh, I don’t know, like a sassy Bronx gangster.
carrie
									
Oh, interesting, I was thinking a Western old woman.
ross
									
Oh, oh interesting.
carrie
									
[Resumes high-pitched voice] “Come over here! You sweet little thang.”
ross
									
Oh, there you go. Okay, yeah.
carrie
									
Okay. I’m getting there. But she’s dead, so she’s a ghost.
ross
									
We skipped the actual Halloween, ‘cause we didn’t have any ads scheduled.
carrie
									
[Laughing] We were like, “Oh, well then, goodbye.”
ross
									
So if you enjoy our podcast coming regularly, you should be very thankful for these ads.
carrie
									
You should be thankful to Rothys, you should be thankful to Quip, just to pick a couple randomly.
ross
									
Because we see those coming and like, “Oh well we have to release an episode.” Otherwise I would dither endlessly, ‘cause I could always spend an extra day prepping or studying or something.
carrie
									
Mm-hm. Sure.
ross
									
This forces us to do it. Gotta get that ad out.
carrie
									
So go buy some shoes.
ross
									
We did have a spooky investigation just before—
carrie
									
[Ghostly voice] Spoooky.
ross
									
—Halloween.
carrie
									
So now we’re extending Halloween.
ross
									
Think of this as your extended Halloween.
crosstalk
									
Ross and Carrie: You’re welcome.
ross
									
Speaking of which, we have an update on our curses.
carrie
									
Yes!
ross
									
For those of you following along on Facebook, you might have seen our posts about some curses that we received. We had said on the show, we just put it out there, it would be fun to be cursed.
carrie
									
Mm-hm. I think you said it would be fun to be cursed, and I was like, “I don’t know.— [Ross laughs.] —Email us and we’ll see.”
ross
									
I guess this is a Ross thing. Like, “Please, curse me!” [Carrie laughs.] So one of our very generous listeners, Jessie Mays, was willing to curse us, and Jessie is a witch and a listener to the show and very kindly offered to even work with us to decide upon good curses.
carrie
									
All her curses were pretty kind. Pretty mild.
ross
									
Yeah. They reminded me of the would you rather game. One of my favorite cards was one that said, “Would you rather always have wet socks, or always have wind blowing in your face?”
carrie
									
Oh, wind blowing in my face.
ross
									
Yeah?
carrie
									
Oh, by so much.
ross
									
I think I would go with the wet socks.
carrie
									
Whaaat!
ross
									
It would be annoying, but—
carrie
									
Ugh!
ross
									
—they’d both be annoying, but the wind always blowing in my—like even if you’re lying down in bed trying to read, there’s wind blowing in your face. [Both start laughing.] That’s so funny, and super annoying.
carrie
									
I guess eventually like, your eyes and mouth would dry out, and you might die. But you also could die from wet socks.
ross
									
Yeah, so uh—
carrie
									
Is it the same wet socks, or can you keep trading them out for other wet socks?
ross
									
I’m gonna assume that you can swap them out, but they’re just always—your feet are always moist.
carrie
									
You just never get dry.
ross
									
People hate the word moist. I’m sorry I said that.
carrie
									
Sorry guys.
ross
									
Anyways, so I can’t remember what the choices were for me, but the one I picked was to bump into things on a regular basis.
carrie
									
Oh, right.
ross
									
Have a heightened chance of bumping into stuff.
carrie
									
Heightened bumpability.
ross
									
And we kind of arbitrarily decided, let’s make this active for two months.
carrie
									
Until Halloween.
ross
									
Jessie even shot a video of this where she had taken a picture of me and a picture of you, when we get to your curse, and you know, wrapped them up and put a wax seal on them and everything. It was really cool. And, uh—
carrie
									
I didn’t see this, I gotta go look!
ross
									
Oh, yeah. Check this out. And so we were there on her spell box for two months, we decided. All of September and all of October. So, that was my curse. What was your curse?
carrie
									
So, she gave us sort of a list to pick out of, and like you say, they were all pretty mild and sweet. I felt like if I asked to bump more, I wouldn’t know what my baseline is, but I know it’s high. I bump into stuff a lot, I’ve always got a bruise, don’t know what it’s from. So I thought, I won’t be able to track whether that’s more or less. The thing that I felt like, okay this happens to me rarely, rarely enough to notice, was having a rock in my shoe all the time. I assume not literally all the time but you know, just being a more frequent occurrence than usual.
ross
									
I kept a bump curse log on my phone.
carrie
									
Oh nice.
ross
									
Any time I bumped into something I had to write down the date, the time, the circumstance.
carrie
									
What if you bump into someone?
ross
									
Literally bump into them or like—
carrie
									
No, you know like, “Oh, I haven’t seen you since high school!”
ross
									
“Great to see you, Kristin!”
carrie
									
“Hang on, let me pull out my app.”
ross
									
No, those are metaphorical bumps.
carrie
									
Oh, okay. What if you bump into trouble?
ross
									
I think that’s still a metaphorical bump.
carrie
									
Okay.
ross
									
The month of September, I did a fair amount of bumping into things. I would say on average maybe once every three days, and—
carrie
									
Okay. Do you think that’s more than usual, or you were just aware of it this time?
ross
									
I think I was just aware of it this time, and we haven’t had a full two months to get a baseline, but I feel like this is a minimal amount of bumping. Some of the funnier bumps were—I told my coworkers about this curse, and they thought that was pretty hilarious, and I put them on alert to call it out any time I bumped into something. “Ross, you have to write that down.” It’s funny, I noticed a lot more other people around me bumping into things, and like, “Oh, if you were cursed you’d have to write that down!” But yeah, once after telling them about this, I bumped my knee on a chair and another time in front of Sunday assembly I told them about this whole curse, and seriously minutes later I walked over and bumped over a music stand and it clattered to the floor.
carrie
									
[Laughing] Did everyone love it?
ross
									
Yeah, it was hilarious. They just thought that was great. Oh, come to think of it, now we’re post-curse and just yesterday I broke an easel at work.
carrie
									
Oh no.
ross
									
And I didn’t necessarily bump into it, but I was like, holding up a picture frame I had taken off of it, and it slowly started falling back, like, “No, stop, stop, stop—” and it fell back.
carrie
									
Oh, yeah. On like 14 axis because it’s an easel.
ross
									
Right, exactly. Another good one was in early October, and I was walking to work, and I read often as I walk to work, so I’ve got like half an hour that I can read, and I’ll look up when I’m crossing an intersection, but—
carrie
									
Same, I do that a lot.
ross
									
—people will yell out at me and say like, “That’s more dangerous than texting and driving!” And I think, “What?”
carrie
									
What? People yell that entire sentence at you?
ross
									
Yeah, or variations of that thought or idea.
carrie
									
That’s wild.
ross
									
Like, what a stupid thing to say. [Carrie laughs.] Like there’s no universe in which that could be true.
carrie
									
Yes, I’m going 1.4 miles an hour on this sidewalk.
ross
									
On foot. I am not operating a two-ton vehicle or a half-ton vehicle, whatever it may be.
carrie
									
The force of my 145 pound body going one and a half miles an hour, hoo boy!
ross
									
You know, little moments like that in my life, I have real respect or sympathy for people who complain about other things that people constantly say, like pointing out certain physical attributes, or like telling a woman to smile, or anything that becomes just an annoying refrain in your life. Like, I just don’t want always to be pulled into that frame of mind or having to answer that question or responding to X, I would rather be responding to something else, and just having people say like, “That’s so dangerous!” No, it’s not dan—I’m walking and reading.
carrie
									
That’s a crazy thing for people to complain about.
ross
									
So I was thinking about that and mere moments later then I tripped on the side of the curb as I was— [Carrie laughs mockingly.] —getting onto a new block. So, I chuckled at myself, and then I wrote in my bump curse log. You can see, uh, not too many bumps there for those two months.
carrie
									
Nice.
ross
									
Very little in the month of October. Really, I became quite bump-free.
carrie
									
Couple dozen.
ross
									
Just over a dozen for the two months. So, I would say this is a very normal amount of Ross bumping into things.
carrie
									
Six months, once every five days you’re noticing a bump. Yeah.
ross
									
So I’m gonna say the curse did not cause me to bump into everything. How about the rocks in your shoes?
carrie
									
I only noticed a rock in my shoe one time. I was walking through the pool area at my complex and I was like, “Ah, what’s that? Something in my shoe.” And I opened it up, a little teeny teeny teeny tiny rock, and I was like—
ross
									
And you said, “Curses!”
carrie
									
“Ah, look at that.” But that was the only time.
ross
									
Well, we greatly appreciate the curses.
carrie
									
Oh, yes. Indeed.
ross
									
Thank you Jessie. And Jessie took another video when we were released from our curses, so.
carrie
									
Oh, good. Gosh, I’m missing all this good video content.
ross
									
Alright, I’ll share it with you later.
carrie
									
Okay.
ross
									
Oh hey, guess what? We have another really cool update.
carrie
									
Yeah?
ross
									
This is related to our last MaxFun Drive.
carrie
									
Oh, I think I know where you’re going with this.
ross
									
So, our wonderful supporters—thank you all—helped get us passed a very exciting milestone, which was to put up a billboard to tell people to research round Earth, because there’s been a little bit too much of this “research flat Earth.”
carrie
									
Going around. Going a-flat.
ross
									
So, what’s coming up? Where can people find this billboard?
carrie
									
Well, when you think of a billboard, maybe you think of a board on the side of a road, held up vertically.
ross
									
Yeah. Yeah, that’s what I think of.
carrie
									
Perpendicular to the ground or so. But I don’t. I think, can we make this even bigger? Can we make it even better? What about an aerial billboard? Could we—
ross
									
Wait a second.
carrie
									
—could we fly a banner in the sky in these heavens, proclaiming that one must research round Earth? Could we?
ross
									
Why not? You know what, I would say the sky is the limit, so let’s go to the limit.
carrie
									
Exactly, so in Frisco, Texas on November 14th, 2019, if you go to the Flat Earth International Conference at the Embassy Suites Dallas Frisco Hotel and Conference Center, and if you go outside during lunchtime between 12 and 1:30 PM, look up in the sky, because—
ross
									
Because we’re gonna have an aerial billboard that reads, “Research round Earth, love Ross and Carrie.”
carrie
									
Yay!
ross
									
So we’re hoping everybody will come out of the Flat Earth conference for their lunch break, Carrie checked the schedule and everything, and that’s what they’ll see in the air, and so if you’re anywhere in the area, see it as well. Maybe capture some video or maybe some photos and send them to us.
carrie
									
Yeah, take some pics for us. Also if you maybe work for uhhhh local newspaper or something, hit us up. We got a news release.
ross
									
It’ll be good times, I hope. So there we go, that is our promise of the billboard fulfilled, and we are very excited for it to hopefully make some waves.
carrie
									
Some sky waves. Some um, um, uh chemtrails.
ross
									
[Through laughter] Oh yeah, was that an option to add on chemtrails?
carrie
									
Oh yeah, yeah, that was an extra 75, and I was like, “Uh, you know, that’s an expensive dinner.”
ross
									
Oh, could we still add it?
carrie
									
Sure. [Both laugh.]
ross
									
Might be worth it.
carrie
									
I’ll just tell you it’s happened. It’ll be the same effect.
ross
									
Aww.
carrie
									
Yes, we—I need 75 dollars.
ross
									
I feel like the dog that just had the fake stick thrown. Anyways, thank you all for helping us get to this lofty point in our career as podcasters.
carrie
									
And thank you for supporting Maximum Fun, which makes wonderful shows like this one!
promo
									
[Music.] Paula Poundstone: Hi, it's me, Paula Poundstone! Adam Felber: And it's me, Adam Felber! Paula: We have a podcast called Nobody Listens to Paula Poundstone. It's a comedy podcast where we bring on experts to teach us stuff we need to know. Adam: Aaand by the way, the guy who came to tell us what to do when you encounter a bear never showed up. Paula: Anyway! It's fun. You are guaranteed laughs in every episode. Adam: You can't really guarantee laughs. What if somebody doesn't laugh? We'll get sued. Paula: Join us for our next episode, when we have an expert in consumer law explain to us how to defend ourselves against one humorless litigious shut-in with enough time on their hands to sue us over our unfulfilled claim of guaranteed laughs in every episode! Here at MaximumFun.org. [Long pause as the music plays.] Adam: The cat of the week is Mabel from Green Bank, West Virginia. [Music stops.]
ross
									
So what did we investigate, Carrie?
carrie
									
We investigated Jill Marie Morris, a—
ross
									
Another psychic/comedian?
carrie
									
I have to give her props for this. She calls herself a comedium.
ross
									
[Laughing.] Okay, absolutely. I approve of comedium.
carrie
									
We like it and anything she does from here out is fine.
ross
									
Well done. Yeah, she just went up a few notches in my book. So, you found this and sent—
carrie
									
I must have.
ross
									
You sent me the invitation. Then you bought our tickets, right?
carrie
									
I did.
ross
									
To Hollywood Ever After, with psychic medium Jill Marie Morris.
carrie
									
She was doing this at the Dearly Departed Museum.
ross
									
On Santa Monica Boulevard in Los Angeles.
carrie
									
Dearly Departed Tours does death tours around Los Angeles.
ross
									
So that’s where we headed on Saturday, October 26th, right before Halloween. We were all—
carrie
									
We were thinking, “Oh, this is gonna be a real good Halloween episode, we got this in the ca—oh, we don’t have an ad? Bye-bye.”
ross
									
[Laughing.] Let’s take a week off. We could use a week off. But we’re back, hello.
carrie
									
Hello. So, we got the tickets at some point on Eventbrite.
ross
									
How much was it?
carrie
									
One thousand dollars.
ross
									
That’s too much.
carrie
									
No, that’s not true. I want to say it was $30? Yeah, so I think they were VIP tickets or general admission tickets, and I think the VIP was around $40 or $50?
ross
									
It said, yeah, $20-$40 on Eventbrite, so yeah, we probably bought the $20 tickets.
carrie
									
Yeah, so we wanted to get the VIP because then you’re guaranteed your own reading, but there were a limited number of those, so we had to settle for general.
ross
									
Bluh.
carrie
									
We’ll be in the chorus.
ross
									
Bluh.
carrie
									
Oh, boy.
ross
									
So we came down to their museum, and it was my first time there. You were already there, most people were already there, I was kind of like slightly late, but they hadn’t started yet.
carrie
									
I had been in conversation with them for a while that day.
ross
									
Oh, had you now?
carrie
									
Yeah, so I saw on their website that it was listed as 6 PM but our tickets said 7 PM, so I called the number on their website and got this young man, I explained to him the problem, he said, “Which tour did you want to go on?” I was like, “No, no, no, none of the tours. It’s a talk at the museum itself.” “Oh, we have those? Oh, okay.” And then like—then he had to look it up himself, and then he’s—
ross
									
That’s one of those responses where you start thinking—
carrie
									
I’m more informed than you.
ross
									
Yeah, you’re no more helpful in the situation, maybe we should just stop talking. Is there anybody else I can talk to?
carrie
									
Can you hook me up with another human? Yeah, so then he looked it up on their website, and he was like, “Yup, 6 PM!” and I’m like, “Well, I’m looking at that here. That doesn’t help. Give me additional insight of any kind. “Okay, is there anybody who might know about this?” So he’s like—finally, it took like five minutes—he’s like, “Okay, let me transfer you to my boss.” [Laughing] Yeah. But anyway, his boss knew. It was at seven. Well, wait.
ross
									
Yeah, ‘cause—
carrie
									
Well, first she said she wasn’t sure, she’d have to call the medium. Couldn’t get ahold of the medium. I found the medium’s personal cell phone number, long story, I called the medium, she said it’s at seven, I was like great, can’t wait. Called back, and they then, Dearly Departed was like, yeah it’s at seven.
ross
									
Well, phew. Thanks for doing that heavy—
carrie
									
That’s my story.
ross
									
—investigative lifting, so I could show up slightly after seven. And there were a couple rows of just your regular folding chairs, and maybe about 24 people.
carrie
									
I thought a little more than that.
ross
									
Okay. I would say maybe—
carrie
									
But under 30.
ross
									
Yeah, somewhere in the 20s.
carrie
									
28
ross
									
But it was a fairly intimate affair.
carrie
									
For sure.
ross
									
And you’re wedged into the first room of this museum, so you’re right past kind of the initial stacks of post cards and books and a lot of stuff about Once Upon A Time in Hollywood.
carrie
									
Yeah, the new-ish Tarantino movie.
ross
									
I think one of the guys from the museum had been a consultant on that film.
carrie
									
Alright.
ross
									
Because it involves the Tate murder—
carrie
									
Makes sense.
ross
									
—in a very interesting way, but I won’t say more than that.
carrie
									
Mm. Good film.
ross
									
Yeah. Worth watching. Anyways, there’s kind of a, I dunno, there was like a little altar setup?
carrie
									
Yeah, there was a table with like a fake cauldron on it and some candles, somewhere in between reverent and playful.
ross
									
Yeah, there was some skulls and—
carrie
									
See a pumpkin, it looks like.
ross
									
Some little kind of tea lights, or at least small candles, plants, yeah.
carrie
									
Decorative skulls.
ross
									
And a table cloth that has sort of a web design built into it, not like internet but, uh, spider web. And that’s where all of the chairs were, set up in front of that. And then they had food on the other side.
carrie
									
Yeah, which I didn’t know was gonna happen.
ross
									
Not [spooky voice] the other side.
carrie
									
I had really shoveled down some dinner.
ross
									
Aw. That’s true, I had actually eaten, but hey, I wasn’t gonna turn down some free pizza.
carrie
									
There’s a bunch of pizza and—
ross
									
And cookies.
carrie
									
—and cookie, a—cookie. I dunno why I said cookie like it’s the plural, like deer. And cookie.
ross
									
I had three cookie.
carrie
									
And then there were chicken nugget as well. [Ross laughs.] Yeah.
ross
									
We didn’t have any chicken nugget.
carrie
									
We didn’t have that. Yeah, so I was there a little bit before you. Boy, a very lucky thing happened to me when you were on your way. I’m researching something I can’t really get into, but I needed a particular death certificate for it.
ross
									
Oh, yeah.
carrie
									
A death certificate of a person who was famous in his time, but if I said his name, no one listening to this would know who it was.
ross
									
I had no idea who that was.
carrie
									
So, there was a used book, Celebrity Death Certificates, and it seemed to cover the era when this person died, so I was like, “Could I be so lucky?” And I opened it up and I am so lucky! His death certificate’s in here! And look, bruh, there’s like what? 200 pages? Yeah.
ross
									
That’s wild.
carrie
									
How?
ross
									
And later during the performance, the reading, it came up someone had a question about a death, and you were able to look up—
carrie
									
[Laughing] I have his death certificate right here! I am a real creep!
ross
									
This feels like in Back To The Future II when Biff Tannen gets the almanac, you know, and that helps him become rich and—
carrie
									
Ohh, right!
ross
									
—he’s like the early version of Trump, you know, this like horrible person who uh, by dishonest means rises to power.
carrie
									
God.
ross
									
So it seems like you have that kind of power with this book. Use it carefully, Carrie.
carrie
									
I will. I will. So, that’s not why we’re there though, but boy I was living that high when you came in to sit down next to me.
ross
									
And there were people dressed up in costume.
carrie
									
Yeah, there was a girl dressed as Wednesday Addams. I know that.
ross
									
Mm-hm, and there was a couple that was dressed as prisoners. Kind of looked like the Beagle Boys almost, like that sort of stereotypical striped prison costume. And there was, right next to me there was a woman dressed as a flapper, and her husband I presume was in a pinstripe suit next to her. So yeah.
carrie
									
Fun. Scary.
ross
									
I didn’t notice then but on the Eventbrite invitation it had mentioned to—
carrie
									
Costumes.
ross
									
—wear a costume.
carrie
									
Whoopsie doodle.
ross
									
Yeah, and the medium thanked everybody who was wearing a costume.
carrie
									
Yeah. I was not wearing my King George outfit, but I did wear it on Halloween.
ross
									
I didn’t dress up this year. I’m a fuddy duddy.
carrie
									
Oh, boy.
ross
									
I’d say maybe half the time I dress up.
carrie
									
That’s pretty good. Uh, so a guy who works for Dearly Departed got up to introduce our medium. He called her their “resident psychic”. Cute title.
ross
									
Oh. Yeah.
carrie
									
I think his name was Scott. I know I’ve seen him before at Dearly Departed. Very sweet, fun guy.
ross
									
So, our psychic, Jill Marie Morris, she was dressed in a costume of her own. She told us a long story later about how she got this. She normally has a different costume, and this one just showed up in the mail at noon, so she was able to wear it today. [Carrie makes ‘phew’ sound.] So she had one of those, I don’t know, like uh...
carrie
									
Yeah, what kind of hat is that? Is that what we’re reaching for, the hat?
ross
									
It’s exactly what I’m trying to reach for. It’s a black hat with a brim, and it’s got like, kind of a reddish, purple-ish thing wrapped around the band. The top.
carrie
									
Yeah, and it’s probably velvet or something, like it’s got a real floppiness to it.
ross
									
And then she had kind of a black, multi-part dress, like sort of it had a top and a bottom skirt and a sash to match the band on the hat, so.
carrie
									
Very Victorian look.
ross
									
Yeah, I’m not sure exactly what she was going for, but she looked good.
carrie
									
Yeah, cute.
ross
									
She’s maybe in her 50s? Early 60s?
carrie
									
I looked into this woman, and I believe she’s exactly 52.
ross
									
You looked into her like psychically.
carrie
									
[Laughing] I bumped into her and then I wrote it in my log.
ross
									
That’s what he said.
carrie
									
[Speaking high-pitched, amused.] Yeah, okay, alright. Sure. [Reverts to normal voice.] So, she said, “Gang, we’re gonna do something different this time. Who’s in for a séance?”
ross
									
And we gladly raised our hands.
carrie
									
Yeah. Although, to us that isn’t something different. That is what we paid for. That’s what the ticket said. Is that something different?
ross
									
No, I think we were promised a séance.
carrie
									
We were promised a séance.
ross
									
But maybe she forgot that that was part of the evening’s entertainment, and whenever I hear that I think back to the Winchester Mystery House when I was a young teen, and my mom and I were walking through it, and the docent said, “Okay, now that we’ve gotten to the séance room, we’re gonna close the doors and we’re gonna hold hands and have a séance.” And my mom freaked. She flipped, and was so mad and wanted to leave, and then they said, “Oh, we’re just kidding, we’re not actually gonna do a séance,” she said, “I don’t care, I can’t be in here anymore!”
carrie
									
[Through groaning] Oh, no.
ross
									
So we made a big Christian stink, a righteous stink, and we got righteous out of there.
carrie
									
Oh, my gosh.
ross
									
Yeah. It’s one of those things years later in retrospect you realize like, oh that’s embarrassing. Oh, we were very embarrassing, weren’t we? But I didn’t know at the time.
carrie
									
“I thought I was a hero at the time.”
ross
									
[Laughing] Yeah! I thought I was the—
carrie
									
“I wasn’t that, I was disruptive.”
ross
									
Exactly. But now when she asks, “Oh, do you wanna have a séance?” I can gladly say, “Yeah, sure,” but at the same time I’m thinking about little me and how kind of funny it is that that would have scared me so much back then.
carrie
									
And now you’re, like, the primary volunteer.
ross
									
Mm-hm.
carrie
									
Yeah. So she has this very personable sort of bubbly energy, and so she’s in—she’s of a kind with Cindy Kaza where half of what you’re getting from it is just like a stage presence, and being like a generally funny person. You know, the sort of like, half of what you’re paying for here is to be entertained as much as to be read to.
ross
									
There’s just something about her that just felt like the kind of woman you know from the office or from church or what have you, just, you know, she just felt like an everyday person who just happened to be wearing a hat today and calling herself a medium. There was nothing about her that just said like, “Oh wow, this woman clearly has a connection to the great beyond.”
carrie
									
Totally, or has any of those cultural markers we accept, like wears all purple, or long, flowy silver hair.
ross
									
Yeah, and she’s just wearing, you know, normal glasses, kind of medium frames, and she’s got blonde hair. Yeah, there’s just nothing that really stands out, that wouldn’t make her fit in well in any other circumstance.
carrie
									
Any PTA meeting. So—
ross
									
Yeah, school principal. She would make a great school principal.
carrie
									
Oh, yeah she would. She’d be strict, but she’d be fun. [Both laugh.] Anyway! Now you have a clear picture of her. You’re all picturing your principal. So, Jill said, “And you know, before we get going, I have to tell you about how Sal Mineo came through earlier.”
ross
									
Oh, yeah. I had to look this up. I didn’t know who Sal Mineo was.
carrie
									
Yeah, I just knew his name. I know golden age actor, that’s it.
ross
									
Okay. Handsome young guy, at least all the photos that are coming up. He was in Rebel Without A Cause.
carrie
									
Right.
ross
									
Um, among a number of other films, but that’s the one he’s best known for. And uh, yeah.
carrie
									
And murdered, right?
ross
									
And he had been murdered, yes.
carrie
									
I think he was stabbed to death.
ross
									
So all of this we learned.
carrie
									
In fact, we should mention, we’re gonna talk about dead people and thus their manner of death throughout this episode, so be forewarned. So she said, “You know, and earlier he came through and, you know, I’ve been on Scott’s tours but I don’t really remember everything, and so things came through that I guess are like pretty spot-on. So, Sal said people aren’t getting it right. He kept saying that. They’re not getting it right, they’re not getting it right. And I don’t know his history. I know he died in a parking garage, but that’s just kind of all I know.” [Ross hums, sounding skeptical.] And Scott’s like, “Oh, no, that makes sense, you know, his death was never like totally figured out [Carrie breaks off, babbling] People have these theories that other people think are wi—whatever.”
ross
									
When I look for his name online, I find a lot of articles that say something like controversy around his death and what motivated it, and there was an article that was saying that many people had assumed that because he was gay that it was something related to him being gay. That it was like a tryst that had gone wrong, whereas it was a robbery that went wrong, essentially. So my immediate thought was, okay, she read something about this—
carrie
									
Yeah, you just Googled this.
ross
									
—and this is a celebrity and you pretended to have just gotten this revelation.
carrie
									
If you want an experience of that for an hour, watch Hollywood Medium with Tyler whatshisname, Tyler Henry. He just claims that he knows nothing about pop culture, so he’ll go and meet, you know, Tom Hanks and be like, “Why am I seeing like a doll when I look at you?” and it’s like, okay, I’m supposed to be impressed by this? Like, you Googled a very simple thing—
ross
									
“A volleyball? What is that exactly?”
carrie
									
[Laughing] Yeah, right, exactly. “But also on a spaceship? This is so crazy!” Anyway. So it—then it turned out Sal actually came in the room right now, as we’re talking. He comes in and he confirms what Scott is saying.
ross
									
[Speaking in a flat, disbelieving tone.] Wow.
carrie
									
Yeah. [Doing Owen Wilson impression] Wow, very cool.
ross
									
Yeah, that made me uncomfortable. Already this is—
carrie
									
Oh, really? Oh, wow. Oh gosh. We have so much further to go.
ross
									
Now you’re saying he’s here and he’s validating these very obvious confirmations.
carrie
									
[Laughing] Right! “He’s confirming you confirming me saying the thing you said on a tour that I’m pretending to have forgotten.”
ross
									
And there’s a little pie chart floating about my head that realizes, okay there’s a tiny possibility that yeah, she’s definitely in contact with Sal, but there is a much larger slice of this pie that tells me, yeah, she just remembers some little factoids and she’s co-opting them.
carrie
									
Right, if it were a pie eating contest, you wouldn’t want the slice that’s your belief in this, because it’s pretty small and you’re not gonna win.
ross
									
Right, yeah.
carrie
									
But it’s still there!
ross
									
This is my reaction, but.
carrie
									
You can still join the contest.
ross
									
Your mileage may vary.
carrie
									
So then she said, “Oh, and this is so weird, Sal’s telling me—[Sighs] Did you like, touch the floor where he died?” And he’s like, “Yeah, I probably did. You know, I tend to lay down wherever the people died and just sort of think about what were the last things they saw, what’s the last things they might have thought in this environment, helps me flesh out the story.” It’s like—
ross
									
Woah.
carrie
									
—okay, you obviously tell this detail all the time.
ross
									
And she probably knows this, and she’s fishing this out of your last interaction and turning it into an immediate hit. Okay.
carrie
									
Anyway, Sal is still ornery, and—oh yeah, she said he doesn’t understand Scott laying in his death spot. Yeah, that’s reasonable, Sal. Yeah, so she’s like, “It’s okay, it’s okay. He just doesn’t get it, but he’s alright.” [Ross chuckles.] Well, now let’s prep for the séance, eh?
ross
									
Okay, yeah.
carrie
									
So she said, “We want to involve all of you, but we do have to make sure that the people who got the VIP tickets definitely get their readings, so bear with me on that.” As we go through this, we’ll be using a couple phrases I just want to define here. So, if we say “the sitter”, we mean the person she’s currently giving the reading to.
ross
									
Mm-kay.
carrie
									
And if we say—[Breaks off, both laughing.] You know that. “Okay, okay, alright.”
ross
									
Yeah, alright, yeah. Acknowledged.
carrie
									
If we say “a hit”, that means like, the thing that she’s guessing at is accurate, so you could say like good j—[Breaks off laughing again] You’re looking at me like, “Carrie, I know what a hit is!”
ross
									
Well, I can’t acknowledge this in any way now!
carrie
									
And then “misses”, obviously, is like—
ross
									
Is somebody’s wife. [Carrie laughs, slowly devolving into a cough.] The missus. Think of this as baseball. There are hits and there are misses.
carrie
									
Yeah! Oh yeah, exactly. Okay, so she tells us Halloween is one of her favorite pranking holidays.
ross
									
Yeah, okay, let’s talk about pranking.
carrie
									
Let’s talk about pranking for a good half an hour, shall we? [Both laugh.]
ross
									
She’s telling stories about how her parents used to prank her. Her dad, like it was really cruel. She was studying for some exam, like something really important, and he thought, “Oh, this would be real funny to leave an M-80—”
carrie
									
Like a stick of TNT!
ross
									
Yeah, it’s like this really powerful, tiny firework essentially that he set off right outside of her window, and then she freaks out and runs outside, and it breaks her window.
carrie
									
I, honestly, when she said that, I didn’t believe her, because she told the whole story and said, “Oh, he was just laughing and laughing, so funny.” I was like, okay, wait. You don’t use “it broke the window and shattered glass everywhere” as a backup detail, that’s the first thing you’d tell us.
ross
									
Yeah and that’s—if anything, it’s an indication that she likes to pad her stories with, you know, just extra bits—
carrie
									
Yeah, embellish.
ross
									
—like, reality plus.
carrie
									
Uh-huh.
ross
									
And, you know, most people are—
carrie
									
As storytellers do.
ross
									
Yeah, most people do that. Every time they tell the story it gets a little more engaging, adds little extra details. It felt like this one had been through a few versions of that.
carrie
									
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That’s totally possible. Yeah, I think one of the skills that you get if you see enough of these people is sort of recognizing what the truth sounds like.
ross
									
Mm-hm.
carrie
									
Because there’s a million ways to tell a lie, but the truth really only sounds like one thing.
ross
									
It’s like people have noticed with Donald Trump that whenever he starts a story with “someone came to me and said, ‘sir’—”
carrie
									
“‘Sir, you are the greatest human who ever lived’ and I said I don’t know.”
ross
									
Any story that starts with someone telling him “sir”, you know, one of the greatest generals, really probably the greatest general, he told me “sir”. If a story starts that way, you know it’s just fabricated. Completely.
carrie
									
Yeah, that’s interesting. You know, it’s really interesting—we’re never gonna get through this story—but that’s really interesting because I read a book by this woman who was a professional lie spotter for intelligence.
ross
									
Okay. I read a book by one of those kind of CIA experts, and he was pretty good at defining the areas of ignorance.
carrie
									
Okay, that’s good.
ross
									
But yes, it is a flawed science. Like, you can get kind of indications but you’re never gonna get an exact lie detector.
carrie
									
Okay, well, she said that one of the things that she’s observed is that people would use distancing language from others. Instead of saying, “Yeah, I know Ross”, they’d say, “I know that man. I know that guy.” That’s like a way you sort of like—especially if you’re guilty.
ross
									
“I didn’t have sex with that woman.”
carrie
									
Yeah, that was her prime example.
ross
									
Okay, yeah. I think the way he painted it was kind of a Bayesian approach, where those indicators can slightly boost your percentage estimation that someone is lying or that they’re being truthful, and so multiple body language steps and multiple language cues will kind of add up cumulatively over time to give you greater confidence, but if you try to treat it as a binary like true, false sort of thing, those cues are gonna mislead you.
carrie
									
That makes sense to me.
ross
									
The Power of Body Language by Joe Navarro. That’s the book I’m thinking of. It’s interesting, absolutely.
carrie
									
So now Jill Marie Morris punks her own kids, hopefully not by blowing up their windows.
ross
									
Yeah, she doesn’t get through all of this and then think, “I should not prank my children like this.” No, she thinks, “This is good fun. This is what you do with children.”
carrie
									
Yeah, she said, “I promised myself I wouldn’t, and boy, then you become a parent.” So now she pranks her kids. On April Fool’s one year she set an alarm two hours early, you know, made them go to school two hours early. One of her sons runs out on the front lawn and realizes it’s two hours early, gets really mad and storms in. But of course the story takes a very long time to tell.
ross
									
Yeah, and we’re looking at each other going, “Wait, why are we here?”
carrie
									
“Why are we discussing this right now?” So, it turns out the reason we’re discussing this is because, after telling us three or four prank stories, she’s like, “So I always wondered, did I accidentally curse my family with all this pranking?” Because then two really horrible things happened to her sons on Halloween.
ross
									
Oh.
carrie
									
One got in a terrible car accident but was okay, and the other fell three hundred feet while hiking, but was fine?
ross
									
I dunno if “fine” was the word, but he survived.
carrie
									
Yeah. Or, yeah, survived, but three hundred feet?
ross
									
That’s a long ways.
carrie
									
That’s thirty stories.
ross
									
That—yeah, that’s ins—no. Yeah, when you put it that way.
carrie
									
Yeah, I don’t think a person could survive that.
ross
									
Three hundred feet, that’s a football field.
carrie
									
Yeah.
ross
									
My God. Yeah, this may be the story that kept ratcheting up every time.
carrie
									
That hike gets higher and higher.
ross
									
Originally it was thirty feet.
carrie
									
Right, right, right.
ross
									
Which would still be an insane height.
carrie
									
Yeah.
ross
									
But now it’s ratcheted up—yeah, three hundred, that’s crazy.
carrie
									
That can’t be right.
ross
									
That’s crazy.
carrie
									
But also she said he fell off the side of the cliff because his doggy slipped and he had his leash wrapped around his paw. [Starts laughing] His own paw. His human paw. And he fell over the side, and she didn’t tell us if the doggy’s okay!
ross
									
She did not. Why didn’t you ask?
carrie
									
Oh, for God’s sake. I stormed out. I said, “This is not what I paid for.”
ross
									
Oh, is that when you yelled at everybody and you left?
carrie
									
[Laughing] Yeah!
ross
									
I thought that was later, but okay. Just kidding.
carrie
									
Really buried the lead. See how this doesn’t sound like the truth? [Ross starts laughing.] Because we’d lead with that detail!
ross
									
I hope we are always very clear when we are kidding.
carrie
									
Oh, not to everyone, no.
ross
									
That’s true. We have some very literal listeners, and we are sorry when our humor is not, uh, understood as such.
carrie
									
Received. Oh, so then she said, “Are there any parents here who prank their kids?” And no one raises their hands, and she’s like, “Really?” And then she circles in on Ross.
ross
									
Yeah, and I don’t prank my son too often, or in any big way. But yeah, she pulled me out of the audience and said, “Do you have any good pranking stories?”
carrie
									
“I know you do!”
ross
									
And there’s something about like, I don’t know, being on the spot like that and someone asking me for an example that makes my brain blank of everything, so I just immediately thought like, “I don’t know, nothing pranking is coming to mind.” And so she reluctantly moved away, but then Carrie leaned over and said, “Well, what about that story of scaring your wife with the doll?” And I’ve told this story on the podcast before, and—”Oh, oh, oh!” so I raised my hand. Let’s fix this. “Yes, I do have a good pranking story.” And I tried to share a very quick version of it, because she had already taken up so long. [Carrie laughs.] She had like another story about her husband dressing up as a witch and frightening her children. Anyways, she liked that and she said, “Okay, see, ‘cause I knew just looking at you, I felt that you had a good prankster story.” Oh, okay.
carrie
									
“That’s why I locked eyes with you.” And then she said to me, “Are you his wife?” and I said, “Oh, no,” and she said, “Oh, I just had to ask.”
ross
									
We call that a miss.
carrie
									
Yeah. Exactly.
ross
									
In the biz.
carrie
									
A miss of the missus.
ross
									
[Laughs.] That’s right, yeah.
carrie
									
We’re now twenty minutes into this alleged séance. We haven’t talked to any—Well, Sal Mineo came back. Mineeoh, Mineyoh, Maneyo? He came at the beginning. But she says, “Okay, does anyone have any celebrities you want to contact, especially people who were in the horror film world?” And she starts listing some celebrities, and we all sort of mumble in recognition at their names. Bela Lugosi. [Both mumble in recognition.] Madeline Kahn. [Both mumble again.]
ross
									
Mel Brooks movies.
carrie
									
Boris Karloff. [Both mumble again.] Lon Chaney. [Both mumble, and then Carrie bursts out laughing.] So we’re all just doing that while she reads through these names.
ross
									
Well she’s just throwing out names, just to see if we recognize these names connected to horror films.
carrie
									
It’s so funny though how that—I try to fight this every time—but it brings forward this human urge to signal, “I know who that is!” You know? It’s so strange, but everybody seems to do that on grief tours.
ross
									
Too loudly and proudly.
carrie
									
[Mimics low, rough voice.] “Mm-hm! Yeah, oh, I know that obscure person! Mm-hm!”
ross
									
Oh, I’m a hundred percent guilty of this.
carrie
									
Yeah, no, I think everybody—it like, it’s an animalistic like—
ross
									
I dunno, maybe it’s the one chance that you get to justify the fact that you’re holding all of this nonessential information.
carrie
									
Useless knowledge.
ross
									
This may be why—actually I’m cutting out on bar trivia with my family tonight to record this. But, you know, that’s probably why I do bar trivia. Like, “Oh, I happen to know these things that serve me no other purpose.”
carrie
									
“No one knew them because they’re useless! Ta-da!”
ross
									
“I’m gonna use this and I might get a $30 gift card off of a further purchase of food here.”
carrie
									
I’ve only one bar trivia once but it’s very rewarding. I can’t blame you.
ross
									
Yeah, I’ve won many times but that’s because I’ve played a lot.
carrie
									
Anyway, that’s going on. You’re hearing the different mm-hm’s across the room. “Oh, that’s a big fan over there!” [Laughs.]
ross
									
‘Cause she’s just naming names.
carrie
									
Yeah, I know. “Mm-hm!” Also when that happens it’s like your worst fear that the person leading is gonna call on you and be like, “Yeah, tell me about him,” and you’re like, “Well, I knew the name and so I made the noise. You said the name, I made the noise. I don’t know, it’s the social contract. I don’t know what to do for you.”
ross
									
Yeah, I can’t provide biographical details.
carrie
									
You have the print-outs from Google in your hand.
ross
									
Yeah, she’s seriously reading off of like, I don’t know, like an Internet quiz site or something.
carrie
									
Yeah, uh-huh. And so then she starts reading us directly from that list. No, she’s not like trying to cover up the fact that she has these printed out pages. She’s just straight up reading them. So she reads us a list of celebrity trivia, and starts quizzing us. [Both start laughing.]
ross
									
Like you do.
carrie
									
So she’s like, “Lon Chaney, who remembers him? Hmm?”
ross
									
“What was he known as?”
carrie
									
Oh, right.
ross
									
The Man With A Thousand Faces.
carrie
									
Hey, alright. And then she said, “What movies was he in?” and you and I were like, “[Excited yelling] Well, we know some answers!” You knew Phantom of the Opera. I knew Hunchback.
ross
									
Real proud of myself.
carrie
									
Okay, nice. Nicely done. Okay, so she says, “And who knows Lon Chaney Jr.?” Let’s read his filmography now. And then she tells us he donated his body to science, now she wanted to donate her body to science, but her son wouldn’t let her, he was too creeped out by that. Why are we talking about this? Then she says, “Okay, Alfred Hitchcock, let’s list his movies.” [Both sigh.] Okay, Vertigo, Psycho, Dial M For Murder, The Birds. Yeah, okay.
ross
									
[Using a bored, droning tone.] “What’s your favorite movie by Alfred Hitchcock?”
carrie
									
“Ah, Vertigo, [breaks off into mumbling].”
ross
									
Rear Window for me.
carrie
									
Oh, okay. Vertigo for me. So, she asked who knew his nickname. I thought this was very well known, but I was the only one who said it. She said, “Do you know Alfred Hitchcock’s nickname?” I said, “The Master of Suspense.” She was very impressed by that.
ross
									
Oh, yeah. That’s right. It didn’t come to my mind immediately but when you say it, oh yeah, obviously.
carrie
									
Then we talked about Carolyn Jones. She was Morticia Addams. Let’s list her movies.
ross
									
Though when I hear Master of Suspense, I really think of M. Night Shyamalan. [Both start chuckling.]
carrie
									
Okay.
ross
									
Carry on.
carrie
									
Very cool.
ross
									
Remember like everybody was saying, “He’s the next Alfred Hitchcock!”
carrie
									
Were they? God.
ross
									
Yeah, after The Sixth Sense, and he really laid into that, like oh, yeah, and so—
carrie
									
Aw, buddy.
ross
									
—when he released movies like Signs like, he had the opening credits that were really trying to be like Hitchcock.
carrie
									
Aw, buddy. Sweet little buddy.
ross
									
Aw.
carrie
									
Aw. Sweet little millionaire. Then Madeline Kahn, let’s list her movies, then let’s talk about how she died. Ovarian cancer. We’re like [clicks tongue]. You’re just going through this sort of noise selection.
ross
									
Why are we doing this?
carrie
									
I don’t know. “You know, she was cremated. Now if I were cremated, I would want them to do something fun with my ash—” [Cuts herself off, screaming.] I don’t care! This is not why I’m here!
ross
									
Yeah, I’m thinking, “Are you just enjoying this time with others?”
carrie
									
Are you an only child?
ross
									
Alternately, if you wanted to cut this out, we wouldn’t be upset if the event were shorter.
carrie
									
It’s like when someone says to a kid, like, “Why don’t you write that all down for me and I’ll read it?” when a kid talks too much. No one else? Okay.
ross
									
I don’t know that.
carrie
									
Ain’t a problem.
ross
									
It does remind me of a recent SNL sketch with Kristin Stewart and it was all about Duolingo for adults who don’t know how to talk to children, and it said, for awkward situations like “child falls with backpack”, or “you are in a waiting room together”, you know?
carrie
									
Cute.
ross
									
And so she’s learning things she can say to a child, because otherwise the example conversations are just so awkward.
carrie
									
Oh, yeah, I used to hate when I was a kid when people would ask me what my favorite subject was. I was like, “Oh, you’re aware that I go to school because I’m a child, wow!” So now I try not to do that, and so I’ll be around kids and I’ll be like, “What do you say? Well, they go to school—no!” [Both laugh.]
ross
									
There’s a great Brian Regan line from a routine where he’s talking about his dad, and having too many kids, he’d forget his kids names, and he’d go around the table saying things like, “So, uh, son, you’re in school, right?” So I would say that to Andrew all the time, and I still say that now that he’s in college, like, “Andrew, you’re in school, right?” [Both laugh.]
carrie
									
Yeah, we just like completely forget what it is to be a child, like immediately on entrance into the adult world.
ross
									
We do, like every movie teaches us.
carrie
									
Anyway! Okay, buckling down on this.
ross
									
Yeah, I like how we’re criticizing her for getting off topic and we cannot tell the story.
carrie
									
We’re on page three of my, mmm… fifteen pages of notes.
ross
									
Carrie took a lot of notes.
carrie
									
But by the way, while we’re talking about donating your body to science, you can go to ScienceCare.com to find out more about donating your body to science.
ross
									
Oh, very nice.
carrie
									
So then—thank sweet Jesus—finally a second spirit appears.
ross
									
Okay! Yes!
carrie
									
And it is Divine.
ross
									
Oh, yeah, I wasn’t familiar at all with Divine.
carrie
									
Okay, yeah. Divine was a great actor and drag queen who worked with John Waters a good deal.
ross
									
Yeah, so you then reminded me that I had just heard about Divine in reference to him eating dog poop at the end of one of John Waters’ films.
carrie
									
Yeah, I think it’s in Polyester but I can’t remember. Maybe Pink Flamingoes. One of those.
ross
									
Pink Flamingoes, yes.
carrie
									
Oh, okay.
ross
									
So Divine showed up at this meeting.
carrie
									
Yes!
ross
									
Woah.
carrie
									
Um, she says to this man sitting a couple people over from you, she says, “Ah, Divine! I see Divine when I look at you.” And he seems kind of not surprised or impressed by that, and he said something to the effect of like, “Oh yeah, we talked about Divine last time.”
ross
									
This is the first of many indications that she has met most of these people before.
carrie
									
Yes.
ross
									
And again, we have fewer than thirty people. I would say from various indications that at least half of them are previous clients.
carrie
									
That seems accurate, and for those who aren’t, when you sign up for your ticket you put in your name and your email address, and there is a disclaimer at the bottom that says “all information can be sent to the event organizer”, and the event organizer is listed as JMM Creative.
ross
									
JMM Creative. So that’s her.
carrie
									
Jill Marie Morris.
ross
									
She’s gonna see who signed up.
carrie
									
Yup. Not tough to Google.
ross
									
I uh, talked to the flapper lady and the gangster next to me on our way out, and they said that, “Oh yeah, this is our fourth or fifth time seeing her. She’s great and—”
carrie
									
Oh, wow. Okay.
ross
									
So yup, she has stuff to work on.
carrie
									
Also on her terms and conditions on her site, it says if you buy a ticket and you try to transfer it to someone else, you can do it, but you have to give the new name to her at least 48 hours before the event.
ross
									
Oh my goodness. How bold to you have to be?
carrie
									
That bold. Okay, so now let’s read through some more celebrities. Bela Lugosi, let’s talk about him. Let’s all make a noise. Mmm. Let’s hear about the details of his life and death. No thank you. Vincent Price, let’s talk about him. Oh, some people here really like Vincent Price. They’ll us some details about his life. Wow.
ross
									
What’s not to like? But yeah, we talked about Vincent Price for quite a while.
carrie
									
Mm-hm. Turns out there’s a Vincent Price museum in L.A. Okay, let’s talk about that for a minute.
ross
									
Ooh, I’d go to that.
carrie
									
Okay. It’s at East Los Angeles College, VincentPriceMuseum.org.
ross
									
There’s been a Spotify list making the rounds of Vincent Price and Basil Rathbone reading a bunch of Edgar Allen Poe literature. It’s pretty fun. It’s a good thing to put on in the background.
carrie
									
Put that on the Facebook.
ross
									
Oh yeah.
carrie
									
Then Vincent Price actually tried to manifest. So we are now an hour into this event. We’ve got our third spirit. Sal Mineo, Divine, and now Vincent Price.
ross
									
And there he was, floating in front of all of us. We could all see him.
carrie
									
[Laughing] We could all see him, and then we were like, “Oh, that’s just a patron who was in the bathroom.”
ross
									
And he sat back down.
carrie
									
No, she could only see him, and she said, “Okay, you know what, he’s saying the name Dolores.”
ross
									
“Yes, and he doesn’t want her to be forgotten.”
carrie
									
“Yeah, something about her.”
ross
									
“Can someone Google that?”
carrie
									
“Anyone—” Well, she gives them a second. “Does anyone know what I’m talking about?” She seems to be making eye contact with the young woman dressed as Wednesday Addams. I think she figured—
ross
									
She interacted with her a lot. You’re young and hip, you’re with it.
carrie
									
Yeah, yeah. You’re the person who’s gonna know Vincent Price. [Ross snorts.] But this woman’s like, “I don’t—I don’t know.”
ross
									
So we—
carrie
									
So she’s like, “Well yeah, maybe someone can Google it.”
ross
									
So we Google Vincent Price Dolores and it brings up immediately Dolores Del Rio.
carrie
									
Yes, a Mexican actress. She has a really interesting history, so I see why he didn’t want her to be forgotten. Which he didn’t. Vincent would sign her name long after her death when people would ask him for his signature—
ross
									
His autograph.
carrie
									
—he would sign hers. Really cute. And so we read this off of our phones to her, and she’s like, “Wow! That’s crazy!” So impressed with herself.
ross
									
You do realize that this could flow the other direction where you knew what would happen if someone Googled Dolores.
carrie
									
Yeah, you were so confident it was on the internet that you told me to look on the internet.
ross
									
You realize that doesn’t impress me. In fact, it makes me slightly cynical in this moment. Okay.
carrie
									
And also, okay, I always think, if this were really happening, how would you actually present this, and I feel like if I actually thought I was psychic and was trying to prove something, I would feel obligated to say like, “I know how this looks, but I swear I didn’t Google it!” [Ross hums in agreement.] You’d be saying stuff like that. You wouldn’t just be like, “Oh, look at that, it’s on the internet, isn’t that interesting?” You know?
ross
									
Yeah, I just feel like the arrow of causality is pointing the wrong direction for this lady.
carrie
									
Definitely. So anyway, Dolores Del Rio was the first major Latin American actress to successfully cross over to American cinema, refused to give up her Mexican citizenship in order to get more work here, and pushed for representation of Mexican culture in U.S. cinema.
ross
									
Well, hey, well thank you Jill Marie Morris, because now we are sharing the story of Dolores Del Rio.
carrie
									
Because we Googled it like you. [Ross laughs.] So anyway, she’s like, “Okay, yeah, that would make sense with Day of the Dead. Okay, I see, mm-hm, mm-hm.” So then she tells that woman dressed as Wednesday Addams, “Okay, well look for Dolores Del Rio in the future for you.” And she’s like, “Okay. Yeah.”
ross
									
This is one of those statements you can make as a psychic that sound portentous and cool, but we never have any way of following up with.
carrie
									
And if, for the rest of her life, if she ever hears of Dolores Del Rio one time, it’ll be like, “Woah!”
ross
									
So I went and I got her phone number so I could call her in twenty years.
carrie
									
[Laughs.] No you didn’t.
ross
									
No, I didn’t. Yeah, she and her friend were two of the only people dressed up, and they were the youngest by far in this audience.
carrie
									
Yeah, for sure.
ross
									
Most people were, I would say in their 40s or older.
carrie
									
Mm-hm. And they were probably in their mid-20s.
ross
									
I would say we were the next youngest. But yeah, there were these two young gals and they were just into this.
carrie
									
Yeah. So then she asked if anyone knows if there’s an Alfred Hitchcock/John Barrymore connection.
ross
									
That didn’t bring up a quick Google search, so.
carrie
									
But also no one in the audience knew what she was talking about.
ross
									
Yeah, there was a different Barrymore connection, but yeah she gave up on that one pretty quick, so.
carrie
									
So she moved on. She asked if anyone knew a Marlena. I said, “Marlene Dietrich?” She said no.
ross
									
Yeah, ‘cause you’d think, we’re talking about all these bygone stars.
carrie
									
Yeah. But nope, not Marlene Dietrich.
ross
									
It wasn’t three Marlenas.
carrie
									
[Laughing] No.
ross
									
She wasn’t going for that.
carrie
									
Yeah, so someone said, “Well, I know a Marlena, but he’s a male.” And she said, “Oh, you know what, this brings up an interesting point I just want to make real quick. Sometimes the energy will feel a different gender than what the sitter might expect, and that can actually mean that they were gay or they were trans, even if we didn’t know that term at the time, or we didn’t know that about them at the time.” Like, way to like, squeeze yourself into a very delicate situation you know nothing about.
ross
									
Okay. I mean, on the surface of it, that’s nice. At least she’s acknowledging that...
carrie
									
These are real things.
ross
									
Yeah, and that people of the past maybe didn’t fit neatly within gender categories, but, um.
carrie
									
But also once you start using that just to explain why you got a miss, you know.
ross
									
Or at least why she wasn’t gonna pick up on that hit. She was a lot like Cindy Kaza in that respect as well, in that, “No, no. I’ve said I feel a female energy, I’m sticking with the female energy.”
carrie
									
Right. “You’re not gonna believe me if I switch something that major, so I need to find a way around it.” So she said, “Are there any questions?” And I said, “Oh, I did think of a celebrity I’d love to talk to. Jimmy Stewart.” So, core connection. And she paused for a long time, kind of looked off into space, thought about it. And as she was doing that, the guy behind us starting going, “[Jimmy Stewart Impression] Oh, Jimmy.”
ross
									
[Also doing an impression.] “Everybody’s got a Jimmy Stewart impersonation. I haven’t practiced this at all so it’s bad.”
carrie
									
[Laughs.] My ex-boyfriend used to do a show at UCB called Jimmy Stewart: Live From Hell where he would do a Jimmy Stewart in Hell impression.
ross
									
[Still doing impression.] “Oh, Jimmy Stewart in Hell, huh? Okay.”
carrie
									
Yeah, it was fine. It was like that.
ross
									
Alright. Alright. Yeah.
carrie
									
You know, it’s just, “Oh yes, that person’s voice was so unique that anyone doing it is sort of like it.”
ross
									
“It’s a little cracked and high.”
carrie
									
Yeah, let’s all do Christopher Walken now. Oh, who can do Jeff Goldbum?
ross
									
Yeah, that’s a good point. I think Jimmy Stewart was kind of the Christopher Walken of his day, where everybody’s got a ready impersonation.
carrie
									
Totally. Anywho, so—
ross
									
Did she make a psychic connection? Did Jimmy Stewart come to our meeting?
carrie
									
She did! So, the person behind us started doing that voice, and I said, “Well, he’s coming through in the back here.” And she said, “Well, actually he is coming through. He’s talking about a lot of kids and being very proud. Does that make any sense?” And I said, “Well, he had kids.” And she said, “See? I just—I don’t know that!”
ross
									
Uh-huh.
carrie
									
Okay. Cool. Yeah, you know. Guy who lived through like, the 40s and 50s chose to have children. Okay, yeah.
ross
									
He had four kids.
carrie
									
Someone else in the audience said that. Someone else like, sort of pads out Jimmy’s life for her. “Oh, had a son died in Vietnam, he had twin girls, he was very much a proud American, that’s true, he fought in World War II.” And she’s like, “Yes, yes, yes, that’s what he’s showing me. Mm-hm. He’s very proud.” Then she says to me, “I see a lot of pink between you and Jimmy. Have you done some sort of work on him?” I said, “Oh no, just a big fan.” She said, “Well, that shows. That shows.”
ross
									
So, okay, we’ve got famed actor Jimmy Stewart. He’s here, and we confirmed some very basic biographical information that can be easily Googled.
carrie
									
Yeah, he had children and the person who asked a question about him likes him.
ross
									
I’m gonna call this a missed opportunity.
carrie
									
[Laughs.] Uh, someone jumped in here to ask about River Phoenix, actor who died in the 90s, very young, overdosed.
ross
									
Brother of Joaquin Phoenix. Also, what my main association with River is that he played the young Indiana Jones. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.
carrie
									
Oh, wow. I thought—that’s not, uh, whatshisname? The guy who loves art, he just loves it— [Ross starts laughing.] —and he stole Daniel Clowes’ story. Shia LaBeouf.
ross
									
Oh, that’s in the later alien uh—
carrie
									
Number four?
ross
									
Number four in the series. No, in the third film, where Sean Connery plays Indiana Jones’ father, they have a flashback scene to when Indy is young where they show him like, encountering snakes in the circus train for the first time, and getting the cut on his chin that would later become so iconic. That was River Phoenix.
carrie
									
Oh, okay. Well.
ross
									
See, I love to display the little bit I know.
carrie
									
[Laughing.] We all have to do it! You have to do it! It’s an obligation. So, she said, “Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, River’s come through a few times. So, I had a friend who was trying to quit smoking, and I got a message from River. He was lecturing my friend, and he said to call and tell her he was disappointed in her and wanted to fight against her addiction.” So she texts her friend and says, “River’s lecturing you,” and her friend says, “I was just about to smoke, but since you gave me this message from River Phoenix—
ross
									
Woah.
carrie
									
—I will not.”
ross
									
So, someone who is having a hard time giving up smoking was just about to smoke.
carrie
									
Was thinking about smoking. Wow.
ross
									
So interesting, like, you know, how annoying would we be in our lives if we decided to invoke the imprimatur of these famed dead people whenever we wanted to give someone advice.
carrie
									
Totally!
ross
									
Like, you know, Carrie would text me at, you know, 1:30 in the morning and say, “You know, Ross, Bea Arthur just appeared to me and she said you should probably go to sleep. You’re up too late.” [Both start laughing.] How annoying would that be? Like, Carrie, you could just tell me that. Well, first of all, why are you texting me at 1:30 in the morning to tell me not to be up?
carrie
									
Yeah, sure.
ross
									
Healer, heal thyself. But just how annoying would that be if constantly, instead of just giving someone advice, you’re like, “Oh, let me give you advice from this dearly departed person.”
carrie
									
No, I’m so glad you’re articulating this, ‘cause I just kept thinking about this, the whole time we were preparing for this was like, “What is so annoying about this?” And I think what’s annoying to me, on top of everything else, is people will constantly say, “Yeah, but what’s the harm if they’re giving you good advice?” and I’m like, because they’re giving it this extra weight it doesn’t deserve! If I tell you a good friend of yours gives you advice that is even subconsciously taking into account a bunch of data they know about your life, that should get more weight than a stranger on a stage randomly saying, “But I have a connection to the cosmos.”
ross
									
I think that’s precisely why it’s done, that and it gives you a little bit more specialty, because ooh, you’ve got this connection. But I think so many people do this with God. You know, where they say, “Oh, God’s telling me that you need to blah blah blah,” like, really, or you just always assume that God agrees with you?
carrie
									
Right. Right.
ross
									
Which is maybe more likely.
carrie
									
Anyway, another time she got a message from River that her friend shouldn’t get in a car with a man whose name began with O, and that woman met an Oscar who wanted to take her home, and she said no, and she went and got soup.
ross
									
That man could have been her husband.
carrie
									
That’s true.
ross
									
But now she has soup.
carrie
									
I just love that she included the soup in the story. See, now that that sounds a little like the truth. Random detail? Little bit like the truth.
ross
									
A soo-saw of truth.
carrie
									
So yeah, and then she used to also get images of River Phoenix when her assistant emailed her. Okay, cool. Are you going to call on him, or just tell us stories about the times you’ve called on him?
ross
									
Well, clearly she’s got a good connection with him, so he should be at the ready.
carrie
									
Yeah. Ugh. So, you asked a good question, you asked, “Do you have any insight on Natalie Wood’s death?”
ross
									
I was thinking of celebrities, and I thought, well, there’s one that A), there’s a good impersonation opportunity, because Christopher Walken was there when she died, and it’s an unsolved—well, at least there’s questions surrounding the circumstance of how she died on this boat. They were out, you know, celebrating her and her husband and Christopher Walken and some others, and so I thought, well, maybe she’ll claim to have some insight, settle this long-standing controversy. And she stopped and she thought about it, she looked up at the air for a long time, and then said, “You know, I do. I have heard about that. But I’m choosing not to share that.”
carrie
									
It was a surprisingly awkward moment.
ross
									
Yeah.
carrie
									
She didn’t try to fill that empty air with any sort of, I don’t know, social nicety. It was just like, no. I will not. Thank you.
ross
									
“And yet, I do know, and I’m choosing not to tell you.” Not, “Oh sorry, I’m not getting a clear message about that.” So then you have to wonder, okay, is she not wanting to share because it’s incriminating of somebody, or—
carrie
									
That’s definitely how it sounded.
ross
									
Yeah. Hm.
carrie
									
But it’s funny because today I just got in the mail, I had ordered this used book from Thomas T. Noguchi, M.D., who performed Natalie Wood’s autopsy, and I was skimming the entry about her—
ross
									
What’s with you and these oddly relevant books?
carrie
									
—right before this recording, and I only skimmed it, but he explains why he believes that it was, in fact, an accidental death, and it sounded pretty sound. She was like, climbing back into the boat and hit her chin and—
ross
									
Oh, I will say, that is my gut reaction as well. I do not suspect foul play. Things like that do happen.
carrie
									
Yeah. So, then she said, “Okay, we’re gonna take a quick break, feel free to walk around the museum, get some food.” We’re now an hour plus into this event, and at least she is talking to some dead people. But we grabbed some snicky-snackies, we went and looked at Jayne Mansfield’s death car, which is in there.
ross
									
Yeah, that’s—
carrie
									
The entire car she died in.
ross
									
That’s like, the central exhibit, and I took a photo of it, and then I saw a big sign right in front of me that said “No photos of any kind whatsoever.”
carrie
									
Oh, whoops.
ross
									
In all the universe for all time.
carrie
									
See, that’s the kind of thing where I’m not prepared to say that shouldn’t be there, but I also feel a little grody.
ross
									
Like, why? Why are we keeping the crumpled up car that this actress died in?
carrie
									
And maybe she’d want that, maybe she’d be like, “I died for this stupid reason, you know, we should all be more careful.” Maybe that’s what she’d want, I don’t know. But it gives me a little bit of pause.
ross
									
Yeah, the heebie-jeebies isn’t even it. It’s just this kind of discomfort, like something’s not right here.
carrie
									
Anyway, still like the place.
ross
									
And they had just collected anything they could tie to a death, so they would have like, “Oh, we found some pebbles that were close to this murder scene where this guy was shot.” Okay.
carrie
									
Yup.
ross
									
Cool.
carrie
									
My favorite thing about these places is that they will also collect things that are just from a person who has died, which is all the people.
ross
									
Yes.
carrie
									
Except the ones who are currently alive. A tiny fraction of humanity.
ross
									
Who haven’t died yet.
carrie
									
Oh, no, that’s not even true, is it? Because of exponential population.
ross
									
But even still, the currently living humans are a small percentage of all humans who have lived.
carrie
									
Is that true, though? Because I’ve heard before like, oh no, something like sixty percent of all the humans who ever lived have lived in the last hundred years.
ross
									
It also depends on where you draw the line, you know, like 180 thousand years ago, where do you define humanity?
carrie
									
Oh, what’s a human?
ross
									
But that is a good point, actually. The human population has ballooned incredibly in the last—okay, so that’s a good point.
carrie
									
Anyway. You get the point though, guys.
ross
									
They had all these weird like, this guy drowned in this pool, here’s a tile from that pool. Like, okay. And, this is my favorite, they had a caption with a photo of Charles Manson, and a lock of his hair in a plastic bag, and it says, “A lock of hair from Charles Manson’s scuzzy head.” [Both laugh.] Wh—scuzzy? Where’d that come from?
carrie
									
You know, I have a texting friend who’s, like, a very big Charles Manson great truther—
ross
									
Wait, hold the phone. What is a texting friend? Someone that you—it’s like a pen pal, but through text?
carrie
									
Yeah, like we really only communicate through text.
ross
									
This is fascinating. Okay.
carrie
									
Yeah, he was like, one of Charles Manson’s friends. Anyway, I’m very cool. So, you know what else is cool though?
ross
									
Quip.
carrie
									
Yes. Exactly.
ross
									
Toothbrushes.
carrie
									
That’s what I was thinking. So today I went to the dentist, Ross. Ross, is it?
ross
									
I am Ross.
carrie
									
And I had a dental cleaning. I get them once every four months.
ross
									
Oh, wow. Good for you.
carrie
									
Thank you. And you know, if you ask your dentist, or your dental hygienist, they’ll tell you better brushing is less about the brush and more about how you use it.
ross
									
Yeah, that’s what my dental care professional said.
carrie
									
It’s important to use it well, and Quip was created by dentists and product designers to focus on what actually matters for your oral health, which is healthier habits.
ross
									
And Quip’s sensitive vibrations with a built-in timer guide gentle brushing for the dentist recommended two minutes, with 30 second pulses ensuring an even clean. So, every 30 seconds it reminds you, ah, maybe you start working on the next quadrant, or however you want to divide your mouth up.
carrie
									
And the sleek, intuitive design is simple to use, and comes with a travel cap that doubles as a mirror mount.
ross
									
These thoughtful features make brushing something that you actually wanna do twice a day.
carrie
									
Yeah.
ross
									
You know, or three times if you wanna take it to work and brush right after your meal.
carrie
									
I brush a good three times a day probably.
ross
									
You do?
carrie
									
Eh, probably.
ross
									
I’m a two times a day kind of guy.
carrie
									
I work from home though, so I can just be like, “Oh that’s right, I had lunch. Why don’t I brush them?”
ross
									
That’s super convenient, yeah.
carrie
									
All you have to do is never get to see people. [Ross laughs.] Quip starts at just $25 and you’ll get your first brush head refill free—
ross
									
Free!
carrie
									
—at GetQuip.com/ohno.
ross
									
It’s a simple way to support our show, and to start brushing better, but you have to go to GetQuip.com/ohno to get your first refill free.
carrie
									
Go right now to GetQuip.com/ohno.
ross
									
Wait a second, Carrie. I’m getting a message from Jeanette McDonald.
carrie
									
Woah. From McDonald’s?
ross
									
No. She was America’s sweetheart, and a very talented singer. Really an opera-trained singer in the mid to late 30s, I think was kind of her prime.
carrie
									
Wait, let me Google this. [Gasps] That’s accurate! [Gasps louder.]
ross
									
Wait a second. I’m getting a Nelson, that she knew a Nelson.
carrie
									
Yes!
ross
									
Nelson Eddy?
carrie
									
Yes!
ross
									
Oh my g—
carrie
									
That is also coming up on this Google search!
ross
									
Is that easy to confirm on your phone?
carrie
									
Yes, it’s right here on my phone. It took me less than ten seconds to find that.
ross
									
Well, now you know it’s true, and rather than revealing any pertinent information about her life, she wanted me to tell you that you should invest in comfortable footwear.
carrie
									
Woah. This is changing my world view. Now that I know that humans survive the death of their own bodies, and they come back, and they find special people who are really good at talking to them, and then they say, “I have advice for someone else who I’ve never met, but who’s in that room.” Now that I know the world’s like that, I’m gonna get some Rothy’s shoes, because— [Both laugh.] —because Rothy’s are fun. They are functional. They’re pretty, and they’re made of recycled water bottles, folks.
ross
									
It’s so cool. So yeah, you could have shoes made out of new materials mined out of the depths of the Earth—no, that’s not how shoes are made—or you could have shoes that come from reclaimed materials that would have just gone straight into a turtle’s nose.
carrie
									
[Laughing] Did you know that people actually use pigs to hunt for shoes in the Perisian wood? Yeah, I know. Or, you can get shoes that are made out of like, coffee grounds that a cat eats.
ross
									
Wait, is this—is this a real thing?
carrie
									
No.
ross
									
‘Cause they hunt for truffles. Okay.
carrie
									
I was thinking of different things that people love to tell you how they’re made.
ross
									
[Laughing] Oh yeah—
carrie
									
Did you know the cat poop coffee?
ross
									
Yup, yup.
carrie
									
Oh, is that the one you were gonna say?
ross
									
No, but I know that reference, and this is me nodding like, “Yup, I know some trivia, I’ve heard about the cat poop coffee.”
carrie
									
[Laughing] You gotta let people know!
ross
									
You are not the first one to tell me this information.
carrie
									
I’m nodding, I’m nodding, I’m nodding. Um, shoes also can kill you if you leave them in a cave for too long and you intentionally put bugs in the middle of them so they extra mold and it’s actually a delicacy in some countries, but it can kill you. That’s that cheese. Anyway, have you heard about this company making stylish shoes for women and girls out of recycled plastic water bottles?
ross
									
Yeah, now we’re back to the real information. So Rothy’s are the perfect everyday shoes for life on the go. They own and operate their manufacturing workshop, where they prioritize sustainability every step of the way, plus Rothy’s ship directly in their shoebox. No unnecessary packaging.
carrie
									
Thank God.
ross
									
Which we appreciate for the environment as well.
carrie
									
These are feel-good flats in more ways than one. Plus, Rothy’s always come with free shipping and free returns and exchanges, so there’s no risk, there’s no worries, and there’s no reason not to try.
ross
									
So check out all of the amazing styles available right now at Rothys.com/ohno.
carrie
									
Go to Rothys.com/ohno to get your new favorite flats.
ross
									
Comfort, style, and sustainability, these are the shoes you’ve been waiting for.
carrie
									
So head to Rothys.com/ohno today.
carrie
									
We get back to the room, the main room where we’ve been having our quote-unquote séance-slash-trivia contest, and it’s time to actually get some heavy duty readings for the people in this room.
ross
									
At last.
carrie
									
Boy. And the whole front row is gonna get readings, because they’re the VIP ticket holders.
ross
									
They paid twice as much.
carrie
									
Yeah. They deserve it.
ross
									
Yup. And so she starts working her way from the far side of the room, and there’s only two main rows, and there’s a few people sort of bunched up on either side who don’t really answer to any row categorization, but roughly she’s working from the far side of the front row towards us. She does a lot of aura reading.
carrie
									
She does, yeah. So if you get a reading from Jill Marie Morris, you might be hearing from your ancestors, you might be hearing from famous people, she may read your aura, she may just read your energy, she may just give you a psychic reading and specify to you, “This is just me being psychic, this is not a particular spirit telling me this.” She has a lot of cats in her kettle.
ross
									
Yeah, she could talk to—
carrie
									
I made up that saying just now. So her first sitter is a woman in maybe her 50s. This woman had a really dark blue aura apparently, and she said, “Now, blue’s a good color. It’s balanced, it’s very even-handed, a person who’s very blue is very calm.” So we’re back to blue is calm, which reminds me of—
crosstalk
									
Both: Jerry Mungadze.
carrie
									
She said, “Now, but yours is dark blue, and a super dark blue like that can mean you’re taking on too much, especially other people’s problems, other people’s energies. Now, a man’s coming through for you, he’s showing lots of gratitude, but he says you need to let go of something, and I think this is a young guy. He died at 32, 33?” I’m thinking, “Jesus?”
ross
									
Oh, yeah. 33.
carrie
									
But she said, “No, I don’t think so.” So Jill says, “Well, okay, what I’m seeing is like maybe a Lewis, and the Lewis had heart pain. Does this make sense to you?” And she’s like, “No.” “Okay, well why do I see you drawing people? I have an image of you drawing people. Does that make sense to you?” “Uh, no?”
ross
									
“Or watching someone else draw people?”
carrie
									
Yeah.
ross
									
Like, okay, so maybe you know an artist.
carrie
									
Right, or you overheard someone talking about drawing, maybe.
ross
									
Oh, and I think this is where there was a woman sitting right behind her said, “I’m in a drawing class.” “Oh, there we go. That’s so weird. Sometimes my psychic energies, they’ll pick up the person right next to you.”
carrie
									
Isn’t that fun?
ross
									
Isn’t that interesting?
carrie
									
And then she told us that one time she asked a couple of ladies, “Were you guys fighting about a stove on the way here? I know that’s a really weird question.” And it turned out it was the women next to them who were actually arguing about it like as they were walking to this event.
ross
									
Oh, like out on the street where they were overheard.
carrie
									
I know, I was like, “Don’t tell us that detail. Let me clean this up for you.”
ross
									
Speaking of which, she does drawings of her own. Spirit drawings.
carrie
									
Oh, right. You can see them on her website.
ross
									
Jill Marie Morris.
carrie
									
They’re pretty cool.
ross
									
Yeah, and—you told me about this—she talks about her great, great grandmother, Gertrude, she has a spirit drawing of her, who was a full-blooded Chippewa Native American Indian.
carrie
									
This could be true, but it’s also a very common trope for white people, this is a fellow white person—
ross
									
To have this story of the one Native American person back in the ancestry.
carrie
									
And then sort of patronizingly attribute magical qualities to them—
ross
									
Yes, some sort of—
carrie
									
—and that’s definitely going on here.
ross
									
—communication with nature or the spirit world.
carrie
									
Right. It can be a part of it, but you don’t know default because this person’s Indigenous that that’s their vibe.
ross
									
Little weird she’d put that on her website. Yes.
carrie
									
Little weird. This is so common though that if you go to 23andMe’s FAQ, an FAQ is, “Why does it not say I’m Native American when I know that I’m Native American, ‘cause my family’s told me?”
ross
									
Oh, and it seems Cherokee is the most common one.
carrie
									
Yes, oh yeah, I hear that a lot.
ross
									
I’ve run into this with a few people who have been convinced that there was Cherokee bloodline, and of course this very famously came up with—
carrie
									
Elizabeth Warren.
ross
									
Elizabeth Warren. Indeed.
carrie
									
Okay, anyway, so this woman with all the blue, she needs to figure out how not to be such a sponge anymore, she’s taking on all this energy, still doesn’t know who Lewis is. She’s not really verifying one—but she’s not fighting back, either. It just seems to not really be landing for her. So she says, “Well, you let me know if you figure out who Lewis is. You can go on my website and use the contact form. You’re gonna run into him, he’s probably an ancestor you don’t know about, but be patient.”
ross
									
Mmkay.
carrie
									
Yeah, what are we gonna do with—
ross
									
Not a strong reading.
carrie
									
Nope. So then reading two, another woman. She has a purple aura, which means she has passion, spirituality, but she’s also got a temper, and she doesn’t really respond to that, and then she says, “Oh, well, I mean, you’re not quick to anger, but you bottle up your anger and then you explode.” Okay. So, the two modes of being a human.
ross
									
Yeah. Right. First one didn’t work, so.
carrie
									
Right. Let’s try this other one.
ross
									
By default, the other one.
carrie
									
‘Cause option three would be a human who never gets mad. What would that be? But so when she says that, her friends kind of titter, and she’s like, “Okay, that’s true, that’s true.” So she says, “Okay, well the person coming through for you is Sarah, if that makes sense. She’s at peace, she wants you to—oh, this is interesting, she says she wants you to be more feminine. Like tone something down, don’t be a bull in a China shop. I want you be more proper. And you know what’s interesting, I don’t see you as improper, but she’s saying that—oh, maybe when you get really anger, she wants you to just sort of like, pull back a little bit, be a little more delicate.” She’s like, “Oh. Okay.”
ross
									
Yeah, no strong hits happening here, either.
carrie
									
Right. Also, total sidebar, but she kept saying “bull in a China shop” and then that shop got smaller and smaller. She said “bull in a China shop”, then “bull in a China closet”, then “bull in a China cabinet”. I was just waiting for like, a drawer, a doll house, something smaller than—a thimble.
ross
									
That’s funny. I didn’t pick up on that. That’s good.
carrie
									
Yeah, so she asked her, is she into reading gossip magazines? And she’s like, “I guess I read some of that stuff online.” She says, “Okay, I thought so.” Okay. Okay, there was one hit. She said, “So, who is Sarah?” She said, “My great-grandmother’s name was Sarah.” Ah! Okay. That’s all we need there, let’s move on to reading three.
ross
									
Okay, I just came up with another pitch for a TV show.
carrie
									
Is it Flavor Babies?
ross
									
No, but that’s a great idea.
carrie
									
We still have to do Flavor Babies.
ross
									
Yeah, Carrie’s in my other podcast that we need to start. But, okay so the other show would be called One Hit Wonder, and you’re a psychic— [Both start laughing.] —and you have a room full of people and you just like, you bomb every reading until finally you get one good hit, and you’re like, “Thank you, everybody!” And that’s the end of the show.
carrie
									
And everybody wonders about it. Oh, how did this idiot get a show? That’s the wonder.
ross
									
Saturdays on NBC.
carrie
									
Okay. Reading number three. So, on this person, a male was coming through. This was, I gotta give it to her, this was brilliant. She’s like, “He’s like, barking like a dog, like angry, almost like a dog’s bark.” Oh my gosh, so smart. Okay, so now all we need is an aggressive man, or a literal dog—
ross
									
Right!
carrie
									
—who is dead.
ross
									
Yeah, and then it’ll be a strong hit. And you leaned over to me and you said, “Oh, sounds like Toome.”
carrie
									
“That’s my Toom-tooms.”
ross
									
Yeah.
carrie
									
Boy, he was an aggressive little shit, but I loved him. So, also the male said, “Hidey-ho.”
ross
									
Oh, so Wilson from Home Improvement.
carrie
									
Exactly.
ross
									
“Hidey-ho, neighbor.”
carrie
									
And she said, uh, “He would dunk everything he ate. You know, donut in coffee, sandwich in gravy, whatever.”
ross
									
That was an interesting, very specific one. Yeah, he was a real dunker.
carrie
									
Loved dunking.
ross
									
And uh, no to that.
carrie
									
No. She’s like, okay.
ross
									
Would you have been impressed if he had been at Dunkirk in World War II?
carrie
									
[Laughing] Yeah. Probably.
ross
									
But that didn’t happen either.
carrie
									
Or if he were like, a professional basketball player.
ross
									
Oh yeah. And she was reading some of these things that weren’t particularly hitting, but I was thinking, “Oh, these are good lines though.” Like she had some clever ones, and it sort of inspired me, like oh, you know what, I need to start writing down a list of all of the good kind of psychic tropes that work for a lot of people.
carrie
									
Okay, but also the dunker could just be a professional baptizer. Go on.
ross
									
Yes! Oh my—that would’ve been a great hit, if she said, “Oh, he was a minister, and he would baptize people.” “Yes, that’s why I see him dunking.”
carrie
									
He loved to dunk things.
ross
									
You know what, I’m adding that to my list. [Carrie laughs.] He loved to dunk.
carrie
									
“—to dunk. I know that sounds crazy, but was he maybe at Dunkirk, or was he maybe a basketball player, or a minister who baptized people? Like, think outside the box here.”
ross
									
This is gold.
carrie
									
And then she said, “You know, you seem very calm but I’m sensing a lot of anxiety under the surface.” She’s like, “Um, okay.”
ross
									
Yeah, this was a good line that I thought, “Oh yeah, I could use this for the future.
carrie
									
It totally—yeah.
ross
									
‘Cause that just describes everybody, and that’s one of those kind of forward statements, that you present a very cool and collected exterior, but inside you’re your own worst critic and constantly full of self-doubt. Yes, oh wow, how did you know that? Oh my gosh, I put so much energy into presenting the best version of me to the world, but inside I’m a mess, how did you know that?
carrie
									
Do you follow my Instagram?
ross
									
That’s because we’re humans. That’s what we all do.
carrie
									
Yeah, what you should really ask yourself in these moments is, am I so that, that like a stranger would describe me as that, or a good friend?
ross
									
That it stands out, that you’d be unusual in that respect. But yeah, I thought that was such a smart line, so, mental note.
carrie
									
Oh, for sure. She said, “Have you been thinking about getting a part time getaway? Like, okay, so it’s not a permanent thing, but like a step away and come back, step away and come back, it’s almost like you go there part time.”
ross
									
She’s, like, doing her best not to say the words “timeshare” but that’s exactly what she was describing. Did you buy a time share?
carrie
									
Yeah. And we were both like, just waiting for her to be like, “Because, for twenty days only, I can offer you—”
ross
									
“I’m sensing maybe in Florida. You don’t have that? Well, the spirits tell me you should.”
carrie
									
“You probably should, and—oh, I have a—oh my god, I have a form right here, that’s so weird.” She didn’t do that. So then this woman’s dad came through, and he was saying, “I was your dad, damn it! Does that make sense to you?” Okay, yeah. Thinking like, I was your dad? Yeah, that’s gonna make sense.
ross
									
But damn it?
carrie
									
Damn it, okay.
ross
									
I guess if he swore a lot, maybe she would say like, “Oh, that’s him.”
carrie
									
Oh, sure. Yeah.
ross
									
It wasn’t getting a strong reaction.
carrie
									
So then she said, “Was your dad a doctor?” And she said, “Well, I don’t know.” Now, this is a huge giveaway.
ross
									
Yeah.
carrie
									
And Jill somehow didn’t pick up on it.
ross
									
Yeah, very clearly she’s intimating that she never knew her father.
carrie
									
She never knew her dad. Come on.
ross
									
So either he died when she was young—
carrie
									
Okay, right.
ross
									
—or he was an absent father.
carrie
									
Right. She’s like, “Was he—okay, something about a nursery? He’s showing me a nursery now.” I’m like, lady.
ross
									
Missed opportunity.
carrie
									
Boy, oh boy. Anyway, she just keeps getting no’s from this woman, and then she says uh, “Now, I also—Is there like a mother figure who passed?” So, not your mother, a mother figure who p—okay, any wo—do you know any dead woman? You know? [Laughs.]
ross
									
No, only men have died in my life.
carrie
									
Yeah, isn’t that amazing? Just kind of no reaction, and then she’s like, “You know it’s interesting, because I feel like your mother and father don’t operate together. They’re not as like a single entity.”
ross
									
Okay, there we go. That’s—now she’s picking up the breadcrumb trail.
carrie
									
Right, so the sitter’s like, “Oh, yes, uh-huh, that makes sense. Okay.” Then she just keeps going for it. “Your mom’s talking about her knees and how she’d go in and out of the kitchen, her knees really hurt.” Sitter’s like, “Gosh, that doesn’t mean anything to me.”
ross
									
I will give Jill credit for this, whereas with Cindy Kaza I feel like she was almost reading from an actuarial table, like what’s the most common name, what is the most common situation, I feel like Jill would more often go for those kind of wild grabs that are really good payoffs if they hit.
carrie
									
Yes.
ross
									
But then, you know, at least in this case, there were a string of misses all in a row.
carrie
									
Right. When you do that and you get even one hit, we will forgive 20+ misses, if you get a really good, specific hit, and I will get one later in this story.
ross
									
Like Mark Edward, who we’ve had on the show a couple times—he may have mentioned this on the show—but he’ll say in his routines, he’ll say something like, “What is it with the clown and the graveyard?” Which just sounds so bizarre and weird and different, but if you’ve got a big enough crowd, someone’s got a story about a clown in a graveyard, and for them that’s gonna feel like the most intimate thing, that you just jumped inside their heads.
carrie
									
In Ian Rowland’s book on cold reading he talks about just the importance of going full gusto at a random fact if you have a big enough audience. I mean, and be really random with yourself, kind of like with improv, like don’t even think about whether this makes sense.
ross
									
Don’t censor it.
carrie
									
Be like, “Why do I see a man with a kettle for a head?” It should feel that bizarre, because then when it hits for someone, it’s huge.
ross
									
Oh, one of my favorite X-Files episodes was “A Repose of Clyde Bruckman” or something like that. One of my favorite X-Files writers wrote that one, and one of the psychic readings was seeing a little, squat Nazi storm trooper, and so later on they’re at the scene of the crime and they see a propane tank and it has just this kind of covering that looks sort of like a hat, and from the back doesn’t it look like a squat, white Nazi storm trooper?
carrie
									
Oh, wow.
ross
									
And it was just one of those weird things where later on it connected just enough to—
carrie
									
Uh-huh. And this is fiction.
ross
									
This is fiction, right.
carrie
									
That’s funny.
ross
									
But I think it’s a good example the kind of thing you can throw out there and it just might work.
carrie
									
It might. So, anyway, Jill asks this woman, “So do you have any questions for me?” and she says, “Well, who else comes through for me?” So this woman is not satisfied. She says, “Well, you also have an aunt, she’s really clingy. Do you know who that is?” She’s like, “Mm, I don’t think so.” “Okay, well, she is. She really takes possession over you. She didn’t want her death to be formal and she was grateful that you protected her.” And this is just like, clearly gibberish to this woman, she’s just nodding politely. Alright, moving on to the next person. Reading number four.
ross
									
You’re welcome, that was worth forty dollars.
carrie
									
Reading number four. This woman has lots of green in her aura, and that means there’s a lot of health around her, and she says, “You know, I get this a lot with PT/OT, doctors, anything in sort of the medical field.” And she says, “Well, what about speech?” She says, “Oh yeah, totally, no, speech, yeah, mm-hm.”
ross
									
“Oh, I always forget speech, but yes, definitely.”
carrie
									
Exactly. And then she said, “Now, yellow is really good for you. You should be attracted to yellow. And I’m getting the name Will. Like as a short for William, Will is coming in. That’s a really good name for you.” She’s like, “Uh, don’t know any Wills.” “Okay, that’s good, you know, maybe you’ll meet him. He’s gonna be very important. It’s like, my brother’s name is Will. It’s gonna be like that.”
ross
									
Pretty impressive not to know a Will.
carrie
									
Yeah, you’re right.
ross
									
And then someone said, “Oh, maybe it’s somebody who has a will.”
carrie
									
Yes, trying to help her.
ross
									
And she said, “No, no, no, we don’t do that.”
carrie
									
“We don’t do that. We stick to names and genders and nothing else.”
ross
									
You know, I always think that’s to their credit when they slough off one of the multiplier effects.
carrie
									
Oh, for sure. So then a grandmother comes through and says, “Don’t go to a casino.” And the sitter’s like, “Don’t worry.”
ross
									
“I never go to a casino.”
carrie
									
“I don’t like those.”
ross
									
“Well, don’t.”
carrie
									
She’s like, “Well, don’t, and don’t be surprised if someone asks you, and don’t go.” “Alright.”
ross
									
How often does that happen? “Hey, Maude. Let’s go to a casino.”
carrie
									
[Laughing] Maude!
ross
									
“It’ll be great.”
carrie
									
“Oh, I really shouldn’t.”
ross
									
“You could—no, you could win a lot of money.”
carrie
									
“I hate casinos but maybe I w—no, wait, the psychic told me this would happen. I will not go.”
ross
									
“Oh, alright.”
carrie
									
Harold slinks off. [Ross laughs.] Um, so yeah, she says, “I really—I don’t like casinos.” “Well, good, you shouldn’t.”
ross
									
You know, she shouldn’t go to a casino— [Carrie laughs.] —with how her gambling was turning out that night.
carrie
									
Touché. So then she said, “Okay, do you have any questions for me?” And this woman also asks, “Do you see anything else for me?” Unsatisfied customers here.
ross
									
Oh, wow. So she’s maybe hoping there’s something...
carrie
									
Something more. Imagine if you like, came here to talk to your dead daughter or something, and they’re like, “Well, I see a Shawn. Oh, yes, your cousin’s uncle’s dad, that’s him.”
ross
									
With the Independent Investigations Group that I often mention, I once posed as a palm reader on the streets of Los Feliz, and I had some very successful palm readings. Later on we were asking them to rate my performance and one woman said like, “Oh, he got so close, ‘cause he was talking about like, medical issues, and if he had mentioned my chest, like I just had a diagnosis.”
carrie
									
Oh, wow.
ross
									
It was something where I had gotten very close but I hadn’t crossed that line and if I’d just been a little bolder it would’ve been a huge hit for her. She still gave me like a seven or eight out of ten, but like, you could tell she was ready to be like, really impressed if I had—and that would’ve been such an easy thing to say, like, “Oh, I’m sensing something—” Because everybody who, not everybody, but many people who die do so from an injury to their chest area, or their head area, because our brains and our hearts are really important for keeping us alive. And so just saying something about that region could go a long way, and if it’s not her, it’s someone in her immediate family or that’s something you should watch out for, talk to your doctor about. Yeah, I passed up on that opportunity. It would’ve been a great hit.
carrie
									
You know, my dad used to always say when people would say in the newspaper that someone died of heart failure, he’d always say, “Well, everyone dies of heart failure.” [Both chuckle.] Anyway, so do you see anything else, and she says, “Well, your grandmother’s very controlling. No offense.” She would say no offense a lot. “But no one else is coming forward. Well, actually, wait. Maybe a Paula or a Pauline?” She’s like, “Uh, I can kind of think of someone, but not someone I know well.” “Well, it doesn’t matter. Who is she?” “I think she’s the aunt of my brother-in-law. I’ve never met her.” “Did she have weird hair?” And the sitter says, “She kinda did.”
ross
									
I like this weird hair one, too! These are kind of fun.
carrie
									
Yeah. Jill’s like, “Yeah, it’s weird what the spirits validate.” So then she said, “Your grandma’s really protective, and if you have new friends that leave you, if people tend to sort of dissipate from your life quickly, that’s your grandma pushing them out.” And this sweet sitter said, “Well, I’ll pay more attention, how’s that?”
ross
									
[Laughs.] Oh, that’s right. I remember this woman. She was—there’s something about her that I liked from the very start, but yeah, she was very gracious in her denials of—
carrie
									
Yeah, you could tell. She was getting across both sentiments, I’m not holding this against you, but also I wouldn’t say I’m impressed.
ross
									
Yeah. Class.
carrie
									
Then we get reading number five. She immediately turns to this woman and says, “Who’s Casey?” So this sitter doesn’t know, but then her like, maybe friend or sister a couple seats over—
ross
									
These are all great casts of the fishing line, but they’re just not hooking.
carrie
									
Casey is also great, because it could be the name Casey or it could be the initials K.C.
ross
									
Mm-hm. I think it’s great. If I were doing a cold reading, I would throw out a lot of lines like she’s using.
carrie
									
So, sitter doesn’t know but her friend or maybe sister two seats over does, and says, “Oh yeah, Casey loves her.” So, Casey loves Nicole. So now we learned our sitter’s name.
ross
									
Oh yeah, this did turn into a hit.
carrie
									
“Yeah, because she took care of Casey’s brother, who was my husband, when he was dying.” Okay. Alright. And so, you know, the sitter’s like, “Oh, okay, sure.” And so Jill says, “Well, you’re getting news from Casey, it’s like a wind in your ear. He’s saying count your pennies.” Okay. Sitter doesn’t really understand that. She’s like, “It’s not necessarily a problem for you, but that’s what I’m seeing.” The sitter says, “Well, I am managing my dad’s budget for him. He’s quite elderly, and he keeps overspending, he keeps like buying stuffed animals and things he doesn’t need.” Which I love. The old man who spends too much on stuffed animals. She says, “Okay, that must be what it is. And was there a really close call in a car?”
ross
									
That’s a great cold reading.
carrie
									
That is a good one. Ross takes out his phone to add it.
ross
									
I’ve got a list here that I’m keeping.
carrie
									
The sitter says, “Oh, okay. Yeah, a few days ago, I thought a cop was gonna pull us over.” She says, “Okay, that’s when your mother was protecting you.”
ross
									
Everyone’s got a story of a close call in the car. You do.
carrie
									
Oh, yeah.
ross
									
I do. Yeah. We all do. Another good catch-all cold reading is the, oh—what was the incident around the water when you were a kid? You know, everybody has that.
carrie
									
Immediate. Yeah. And then, okay, so she says her mother was protecting her, and then she says, “And people often ask me like, well how can a spirit do that, how can it protect me if it’s just energy? Well, think of it like friction. If you rub a balloon in your hair and it pulls your hair up, it’s like that.”
ross
									
Okay.
carrie
									
Mm-hm.
ross
									
I know of that phenomenon.
carrie
									
Mm-hm. That’s all we need. Okay, now here is one of the most blatant hot readings I have ever heard, and I’ve been in this business for a long time, sir. Okay, so she says, “Now your mother is showing me little, tiny baskets, like itty, bitty baskets, and each one holds an egg, and she says they’re not separated the right way, you have them all pushed together but they need to be separated correctly into their own specific tiny basket.” Okay.
ross
									
Mm-hm. So we do a little bit of back and forth before we realize that this woman has a collection of Fabergé eggs.
carrie
									
That her mother had. She’s not that impressed by them, so she has them sort of pushed into a corner.
ross
									
I assume they’re not actually made by the real Fabergé.
carrie
									
Probably not, but I did look up famous Fabergé egg collectors just to make sure I couldn’t get a read. I could not. And she’s like, “Oh yeah, she loved these stupid eggs. I know what you’re talking about, and I pushed them into the corner. It’s kind of a joke between me and my friends.” And I’m thinking, “Oh, so a thing you would post about on social media?”
ross
									
Ah. Well, and also this is one of the families that had been read by her many times before.
carrie
									
Well her mom is always with her, she loves her, but fix those eggs. Okay, cool. Got it. Next person’s a man, and she says, “With you, I see a man holding a sign that says 14. Does that mean anything to you?” So, 14 is sort of um, what’s the—a dog whistle for white supremacy. It is this—there’s the 14 word phrase, something like, “We’ll protect the whiteness of our children throughout history,” blah blah blah, just like racist nonsense.
ross
									
Okay, you don’t think she was purposefully going for that, it’s just—
carrie
									
I wouldn’t think so, but I did wonder if she had seen some sort of picture of someone holding up the number 14, which would scream white supremacist.
ross
									
Wow, how horrible would that be if like, he acknowledged that and then she said “blood and soil” and then she moved on to—
carrie
									
Oh my God, can you imagine?
ross
									
—the next reading. Wow, yeah I had no idea of any of that.
carrie
									
So she says, “Does that mean anything to you?” and he doesn’t really respond, and she says, “Well, I see him in like a navy uniform, does that make sense?” and he’s like, “Well, yeah, he was in the Navy for forty years.”
ross
									
That deserved a slightly better reaction than he gave her.
carrie
									
Yeah, but at the same time, I kind of get it. It’s like, “Well, that’s such a hit that I’m not impressed, because you must have looked that up.”
ross
									
Oh. Interesting, okay, yeah, yeah.
carrie
									
But she said, “Well, he’s showing me himself in a white uniform holding a sign that says 14 and smirking, and he says ‘lucky dog’”. And he’s like, “Oh gosh, I don’t know what that means.” She said, “It be something with Vegas or Cambodia.” He’s like, “Nope.” “Okay, well your dad says if you have to stay home for a little while to take care of yourself, just do it, and you’re gonna have to get something bone-related done, and just take care of yourself.” And his wife’s like, “Yeah, okay, he’s getting a bone graft.”
ross
									
In his, uh, mouth, yeah.
carrie
									
Yeah, so that he can get a dental implant.
ross
									
And so, that was the connection with the bone thing there, okay.
carrie
									
Take care of that.
ross
									
Alright. I still feel like these readings are getting warmer on this side of the room.
carrie
									
Oh, you mean as in they are better hits or hotter readings?
ross
									
Hotter—oh, both, I guess, yeah.
carrie
									
Both, yeah. Oh, this is really cute. She’s like, “Your dad also really appreciates that you quietly give to people. Do you know what that means?”
ross
									
Oh, I’m putting that in my list. That’s another good one.
carrie
									
I was waiting for something along the lines of, “Yeah, you know, every month I give to Doctors Without Borders,” or whatever.
ross
									
Yeah, and it’s such a good opportunity for a humble brag, too.
carrie
									
Yes, totally. “Oh, well, you dragged it out of me, but I guess I do—”
ross
									
“Actually—”
carrie
									
“—I am in fact a member of the ASPCA.”
ross
									
“—I do give quite a bit.”
carrie
									
But he said, “Well, whenever I go to Starbucks, I buy myself something but then I also buy something for someone else, but I don’t tell them.”
ross
									
Aw, that’s nice.
carrie
									
It was so cute! So cute.
ross
									
I love it.
carrie
									
Um, she’s like, “Well, he’s very proud of you. That’s something he would do, too.” “Oh, yes, it is.” So reading number seven, we get this woman who Jill says, “I see that you have a sort of a need to joke around, and that’s good, and your paternal grandpa comes through and he’s really arrogant, he has like a chip on his shoulder.” And the sitter says, “Oh, no. He was—
ross
									
“That wouldn’t be him.”
carrie
									
“—he was so humble.” “Nope. Nope. He was very proud.”
ross
									
“I went for the opposite end of the spectrum and it would be too embarrassing for me to change.”
carrie
									
“And so I will rewrite all of your memories. Okey-dokey? No, I see him as edgy, he comes off that way to me, and he says I shouldn’t even be doing this. I shouldn’t be doing medium work.”
ross
									
I thought that was very clever. Like, oh that’s a way to turn that into his reaction just to her as—
carrie
									
Right, preserve your memory.
ross
									
—as the messenger. That was a smart pivot.
carrie
									
And, you know, old guy more likely to be religious. So she said, “Oh, was he religious?” and she says, “Kind—not really.”
ross
									
Oh, boy. Another one that has a high probability of being correct—
carrie
									
Totally.
ross
									
—didn’t work.
carrie
									
She said, “Okay, well now I see something with a TV.” And she says, “Yeah, I don’t know. I didn’t know him well.” Jill just said, “Shoot.” [Starts laughing.]
ross
									
Most honest thing uttered in the entire evening.
carrie
									
For real, I really was disappointed. Then—I really didn’t like this—then she was like, “Hey, whose dog broke a leg?” She says, “Oh, my daughter’s dog is fifteen. Not doing so well.”
ross
									
He’s got a bruised paw or something. It wasn’t quite a broken leg but yeah, some kind of weakness.
carrie
									
Yeah. And you know, he’s older, so he’s got a lot of kind of bumps and bruises, and she says, “How do I say this? Do you want to hear everything or no?”
ross
									
Hmm.
carrie
									
She says, “Oh, you can say everything.” “Okay. This dog isn’t doing well, he’s got a bad foot, he’s struggling, and I see you’re gonna have to make a decision about this dog in the not so distant future.”
ross
									
You would’ve fought this woman if she’d done that to you.
carrie
									
I would’ve been—oh, yeah. I mean, it kind of hurts me to just read my notes that say that, because it’s like, it’s that same thing. It’s like, you don’t know anything about this situation and you’re gonna give yourself extra credit for having insight, and tell me I’m going to have to kill my dog soon? Screw you.
ross
									
That’s as scuzzy as Charles Manson’s hair.
carrie
									
[Laughing] I thought you were gonna say as scuzzy as Charles Manson. I was like, “Well, okay, let me back off a little.” His hair?
ross
									
His hair, yeah. His scuzzy head.
carrie
									
And then she said, “You know, use your common sense with what you do as a nurse, I know you will.” This woman had not, as far I know, mentioned being a nurse, so there was a giveaway that they had had prior—
ross
									
Yup yup yup.
carrie
									
Yup. So anyway, this lady’s gonna get some money soon.
ross
									
Mmkay.
carrie
									
So that’s good.
ross
									
Cool. Not at the casino, don’t go there.
carrie
									
Okay. Reading eight. Boy, we got our money’s worth here. So with reading number eight, she said, “I’m hearing the song ‘I Don’t Know Why I Love You But I Do’.” That old song. [Singing] I don’t know why I love you, but I do. [Breaks off, imitating horn sounds.]
ross
									
Oh. Thank you for singing that, ‘cause in the moment, I was thinking, ah, I don’t know why I don’t know this but I don’t.
carrie
									
Yeah, that lady didn’t seem to resonate with her.
ross
									
Again, like, if it was a hit, that would be a great hit.
carrie
									
Oh, totally. And then she said, “Well, your husband—” and I think she either knew that from before or had picked up on that from the Casey discussion, this woman has a dead husband. She said, “He wants to congratulate you. What’s that about?” And she said, “Oh, that makes sense. He always wanted me to lose weight and, you know, for my health, he was very sweet about it, and I just lost 70 pounds. So.”
ross
									
We all clap for her.
carrie
									
Woo, we all clap for that. Good job.
ross
									
That was obviously a goal for her and she was happy about it.
carrie
									
Right, yeah, and she mentioned it was for her health. And then Jill said, “And, you know, a lot of money’s gonna start flowing to you.” She said, “Oh, okay, good!”
ross
									
I remember that, she said, “Yeah, he wants to congratulate you because you’ve turned over a new leaf.”
carrie
									
A new leaf. That’s right.
ross
									
Yeah, which I wrote down in my little doc of uh, of good phrases to read to people. That’s a good one. ‘Cause then they fill in the info, but you get the credit for identifying whatever recent success they had.
carrie
									
And even if you haven’t totally but you just feel like, oh I am trying something new, you’ll just—okay, this is the right path.
ross
									
Now it’s validated. That effort has been acknowledged by your loved one. Yup. It’s a smart one.
carrie
									
And then she said, “Oh, and also go to the pool more!” Everybody wants to go—
ross
									
Wants to go to the pool!
carrie
									
—to the pool!
ross
									
It’s so true.
carrie
									
It’s true. That’s a reference to our Ayahuasca episode. But guess who got reading number nine?
ross
									
You!
carrie
									
Yes! Finally!
ross
									
Yeah, she moved over to the second row.
carrie
									
Yeah, who wants a reading? So okay, I do. And I said, um, “Yeah, I’m getting married in a year.” Everyone applauded for me because I fell in love. And then I said, “Do you see anything with my engagement or my wedding?” And she said, “Don’t be surprised if a Milo interferes.” Now, she didn’t say Milo, she said my actual ex’s real name.
ross
									
Which is a common name.
carrie
									
It’s a common name.
ross
									
But still.
carrie
									
But it’s—that’s—
ross
									
It was—
carrie
									
—a wonderful hit.
ross
									
It was an impressive hit, and Carrie burst out laughing.
carrie
									
I laughed. I snorted. You said, “Wow!” We were both very impressed.
ross
									
That was good.
carrie
									
Everyone’s like sort of waiting for us to explain, and I said, “Well, my last boyfriend’s name was Milo, before my fiancé.” The whole crowd went, “Oh!” And she looked like, shocked, like, “Oh, yes, mm-hm!”
ross
									
“Yes, I knew that, well—”
carrie
									
“Oh, of course, that’s why I said that.”
ross
									
“—he may try to interfere.”
carrie
									
Yeah, and I said, “What’s he gonna do?” She said, “Well, I see interference, all of the sudden he’s just there, and I see you kind of like, ‘leave me alone’, you’ll hold down the fort well, it’ll be good, just tell him to take a hike.” I said, “I will.”
ross
									
If, uh, we hear anything from Milo between now and your wedding, we’ll call that a hit.
carrie
									
For sure.
ross
									
‘Cause I don’t expect that to happen.
carrie
									
If he shows up at the wedding, I would be 40% delighted.
ross
									
Really?
carrie
									
Well, yes, because I haven’t heard from him in years, it would be so absurd, and it would validate this. I don’t know. It would be very good.
ross
									
Should we have like a secret keyword if you need me to remove him?
carrie
									
Oh, definitely remove him no matter what.
ross
									
Because I will. Okay.
carrie
									
[Laughing] I want him to show up and me to be like, “This is so nuts!” and then him to go.
ross
									
Okay. Cool.
carrie
									
Cool. So the next reading was a woman who—okay, so she raised her hand and she’s like, “I’ve had a lot of deaths in my family recently. Can you see anything?” Hoo boy. Guess who comes through?
ross
									
Oh, I can’t even remember.
carrie
									
Shaun.
ross
									
Shaun of the Dead?
carrie
									
[Laughs.] No. I guess so, technically. So she’s like, “I don’t think I know a Shaun.” Okay, so we have this poor person who’s had multiple deaths in her life recently, comes to a medium and a Shaun who she can’t place comes through?
ross
									
Now—now we’re just playing this weird exercise of me trying to validate the name you came up with.
carrie
									
Yup. And so—but she can’t think of any Shaun, which is amazing, and then Jill’s like, “I think he’s a friend of a suicide victim.” Okay, so our sitter’s like, “Okay, I have a family member whose sister’s stepson did die of suicide, but his name isn’t Shaun.” And she says, “Okay, well, that’s fine. Just don’t take the shoulda, coulda, wouldas. There’s nothing you can do to help those people.” Like, you couldn’t have prevented it, not, you know, there’s nothing you can do to help them in that sense. “But Shaun is still here and he’s pointing at a car. Did someone die in a car?” Okay, that’s a reasonable guess. Second most common cause of accidental death in the U.S.
ross
									
Yeah. Okay.
carrie
									
But the sitter says, “No.” She says, “Okay, okay. Then there was motive in this.” Okay. So we’re like, suicide? No, okay, car accident? No, okay, murder? Uh, so she says, “Did a young man die?” And I couldn’t really understand the sitter’s answer to that, and she said, “Okay, well Shaun’s coming through, and he says someone took everything from him except the clothes he had on.” And the sitter said, “Ah, that’s a little farfetched.”
ross
									
Woooow! Yeah!
carrie
									
Yeah! Ballsy!
ross
									
Yeah!
carrie
									
And Jill says, “Well, I don’t know, that’s what he shows me, and you know what? It’s almost like dignity. Did they strip him of his dignity?” And the husband of our sitter now kind of pipes up and he says, “No,” and like seems kind of pissed.
ross
									
Right, yeah, you’re mischaracterizing the situation.
carrie
									
Yeah, of people I like and respect. And she says, “Well, not from you, not stripped of his dignity because of you.” And the husband says, “Right, but they took great care of him, so no.”
ross
									
Yeah, wow.
carrie
									
[Groans awkwardly.] So Jill’s like, “Okay, well, you know, he just feels this way, and it must be something you didn’t really know about. It’s not a big deal, he’s not mad, but he’s not exactly happy, and [awkward stammering] do you know a Georgina?” They don’t know a Georgina.
ross
									
Awkward.
carrie
									
Oh my God, yeah, it was just so much of this and it was so uncomfortable, and yeah, it just devolved into her being like, “Is there a regret with the sister?” and the wife’s like, “Nope.” “I see a lot of medicine.” “Okay, yeah, she was taking medicine when she died. Yes, okay.”
ross
									
Oh, that’s a good one, I’m putting that on my list.
carrie
									
“Oh, I’m so sorry. Yeah, that must be her. There’s no way you could have reversed what happened to her.” It was just kind of heartbreaking to watch this one.
ross
									
Not a good way to end the show.
carrie
									
No. The next one was funny though. It was the girl dressed as Wednesday Addams. She asked about her past lives and Jill said, “You were Wednesday Addams.”
ross
									
And said that Wednesday—we’re calling her—should be in the mortician business, or something—
carrie
									
Ohh, okay, I think I missed this part.
ross
									
—something around death. Yeah.
carrie
									
Okay. Cool, cool.
ross
									
Okay, I’m writing this down in my text document. “I’m seeing a lot of medicines.” Okay. So I’m building up a good list of cold reading techniques. Maybe at a future live show we should live read our audience.
carrie
									
Yeah, totally. I literally have a hoarse throat from telling all these stories.
ross
									
Yeah, yeah. That was a wild ride.
carrie
									
This episode, we promise, is at least slightly shorter than the actual experience. We will make sure.
ross
									
Yeah, that’s right, because we were there for about two and a half hours.
carrie
									
Yeah, so if this is less than that, you’re welcome.
ross
									
Yeah, consider yourself lucky.
carrie
									
But you know what? We tell gags. We have fun along the way.
ross
									
We’re having a good time, we’re friends hanging out.
carrie
									
It’s about the journey.
ross
									
This is what happens. So, thank you for coming with us, and I guess that’s it for our show. I don’t know, I don’t think we really need to rate this. I think we’ve talked about it.
carrie
									
Yeah, you guys get it.
ross
									
And it feels fairly consistent, I would say, with ratings I would give to Cindy Kaza.
carrie
									
Yup. Same. And very similar to her show.
ross
									
Alright, well that is it for our show. Our theme music is by Brian Keith Dalton.
carrie
									
This episode was edited by Victor Figueroa.
ross
									
Our administrative manager is Ian Kramer.
carrie
									
You can support this and all our investigations by going to MaximumFun.org/donate. D-O-N-A-T-E.
ross
									
That is the best and most immediately helpful way to keep our investigations going, but you can also support us by putting a good word out to the universe, preferably a part of the universe where other people will see it or hear—
carrie
									
Carrie about it.
ross
									
Carrie’s like rocking out like she’s a flower child. And, uh, yeah like tell a friend, comment about how much you enjoy the show so other people can find us. Leave us a positive review.
carrie
									
Or just like, if you’re sitting in class or in a big lecture or something, just lock eyes with someone and try to send it to them telepathically. You should watch—you should listen to Oh No, Ross and Carrie! You should listen to Oh No, Ross and Carrie!
ross
									
Like everybody has spent at least a half an hour trying to reach out at objects to move them with their minds. Do that but with our show and just get it into their heads.
carrie
									
Yeah, exactly.
ross
									
If it’s successful, if one of you found the show because someone else was doing that to you—
carrie
									
Please write to us.
ross
									
Yeah. I wanna hear about it.
carrie
									
Yeah, for real. You can also find us on social media. You know, that thing ruining the world. We’re on Twitter @OhNoPodcast, and we’re at Facebook at Facebook.com/ONRAC. And remember—
ross
									
Something happened when you were younger with one of your knees. I see an injury. Is there a scar?
carrie
									
[Gasps.]
music
									
“Oh No, Ross and Carrie! Theme Song” plays again.
promo
									
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About the show

Welcome to Oh No, Ross and Carrie!, the show where we don’t just report on fringe science, spirituality, and claims of the paranormal, but take part ourselves. Follow us as we join religions, undergo alternative treatments, seek out the paranormal, and always find the humor in life’s biggest mysteries. We show up – so you don’t have to. Every week we share a new investigation, interview, or update.
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