TRANSCRIPT One Bad Mother Episode 453: It’s Week 2 of MaxFunDrive and I Feel Like A Badass Mom From A Horror Film! with Jordan Crucchiola

00:00:00

Biz Ellis

Host

Hi. I’m Biz.

00:00:01

Theresa Thorn

Host

And I’m Theresa.

00:00:02

Biz

Host

Due to the pandemic, we bring you One Bad Mother straight from our homes—including such interruptions as: children! Animal noises! And more! So let’s all get a little closer while we have to be so far apart. And remember—we are doing a good job.

00:00:21

Music

Music

“Summon the Rawk” by Kevin MacLeod. Driving electric guitar and heavy drums.

[Continues through dialogue.]

00:00:25

Biz

Host

This week on One Bad Mother—it is week two of the MaxFunDrive and I feel like a badass mom from a horror film! I talk to Jordan Crucchiola of the podcast Feeling Seen.

00:00:36

Crosstalk

Crosstalk

Biz and Caller: Woooo!

00:00:38

Caller

Caller

Just calling with a check-in!

[Biz laughs.] 

We had kindergarten roundup yesterday for my middle kid, and I thought I was gonna be a wreck but I wasn’t. I was a wreck for the oldest and I’ll probably be a wreck for the youngest, but the middle kid—[Laughs.] Poor middle kid. It was fine.

[Biz laughs.] 

What was not fine was running into our couples’ therapist at kindergarten roundup, because apparently I knew she had a kid the same age but I did not know they were gonna be in our class. Uhhhh…

[Biz laughs.] 

Yeah. Alright. 

00:01:12

Biz

Host

Oh. Oh.

00:01:13

Caller

Caller

Bye!

00:01:14

Biz

Host

Surprise! [Laughs.] Surprise! Guess who’s your room parent? [Laughs.] Okay. First off, I have to let everybody know that with me right now at this moment is Jordan. Our guest today is—we are in this together. And so she is getting the privilege—

[Jordan laughs.] 

—of listening to a Woo Check-in.

[Jordan laughs.] 

I have to just say—first, you’re doing a very good job. Two, I don’t know what a kindergarten roundup is.

[Jordan laughs.] 

But I think I know. I’m like, I think it’s like the graduation of kinder. Right?

00:01:51

Jordan Crucchiola

Guest

Of kinder.

00:01:52

Biz

Host

Of kindergarten. Ours was really weird when ours graduated kindergarten, ‘cause I’m like, “You guys are gonna be really let down by college if you guys think that this is the bar for graduating.”

[Jordan laughs.] 

And I have to say—that’s probably the worst thing you could say. Except maybe your own therapist. I don’t know. Jordan, it feels—I gotta say, it feels like it’s like out of a ‘80s movie like a Romancing the Stone or like something—

00:02:20

Jordan

Guest

Yeah. This is something that happens to Larry David in his show about cringey life experiences—

[Biz laughs.] 

—that make you wanna die.

00:02:25

Biz

Host

Yeah. Congratulations. You just Larry David-ed it. That’s our new parenting award. You Larry David-ed it. I think you’re doing a great job, and yeah! I—sorry, ‘cause that’s…

00:02:38

Jordan

Guest

I think you really feel it in—her voice is really what tells the story. Like, “So… yeah. Um… that’s… that’s what happened to me.” It’s not like—there’s nothing overdramatic about what she’s saying. You can just feel the shoulders kind of dropped and the staring into the middle distance just like, “That’s my life.”

00:02:59

Biz

Host

What’s the etiquette there? Do you go up and say hi?

00:03:04

Jordan

Guest

I feel like I would have to just ‘cause I’m a “let’s just talk” kind of—in not a bad way—but just be like, “Hey! Hi. How’s it going?” I would want to establish a different baseline and be like—

[Biz laughs.] 

“I’m gonna come talk to you and I’m gonna talk to you not about what we normally talk about so you know that what we do when we see each other here? Is act like you don’t know a damn thing about me. And we’re just gonna chitchat.”

00:03:25

Biz

Host

Yeah. “I’m wearing my parenting hat, not my therapy hat or my couples’ therapy hat in which that hat is a very special hat.”

[Jordan laughs.] 

Jordan? Do you have kids? I can’t—

00:03:37

Jordan

Guest

I do not have children! I do not have children.

00:03:39

Biz

Host

That’s really good.

00:03:41

Jordan

Guest

I aspire to have teens. I wanna have teens.

00:03:44

Biz

Host

Oh yes! Me too! I’m on the long program of trying to get these kids to teen.

[Jordan laughs.] 

‘Cause I prefer a teen. But there’s a thing that happens somewhere around kindergarten, and that is when kids start sharing very personal things about their family out in the world. And mostly it’s surrounding mommy’s special drink or mommy water. [Laughs.] Or—I have to say it—now that your couples’ therapist is in here—

[Jordan laughs.] 

Like, there’s so much of a lens that has to be begged for in—I mean, like, now—she knows. She knows what mommy’s water is. Right?

00:04:24

Jordan

Guest

But what you have to hope then is that her child has no restraint and that you start learning things from her child about her. 

00:04:29

Biz

Host

Yes! Yes! Now that—you totally should have some kids! That’s exactly how ya do it!

00:04:36

Jordan

Guest

You hope that your child becomes the inside man. And they can get information about the therapist—just so you feel like—not to do anything with it if you don’t need to? But just so you have something in your pocket so you’re both standing naked in front of each other and you don’t feel like you’re the only one who’s naked.

[Biz laughs.] 

00:04:56

Biz

Host

[Through laughter] I just—just like in car line, go up and be like, “Hey. Little Tina.”

[Jordan laughs.] 

“How’s everything at home?”

00:05:03

Crosstalk

Crosstalk

Jordan: “How’s everything? How’s mommy? How’s daddy? How’s daddy, huh?”

Biz: “How’s everything—how’s mommy? Is she okay? Mmm. I know.” 

00:05:10

Biz

Host

It’s very—yeah. So this… this has come perfectly full circle.

[Jordan laughs.] 

I think—again—you’re doing a great job. And you just know they’re gonna fucking become best friends.

00:05:24

Jordan

Guest

Right. yeah. Anything short of violence it feels like is doing a very good job in this situation. 

00:05:29

Biz

Host

Well yes! [Laughs.] 

00:05:31

Jordan

Guest

So. Short of like a full meltdown publicly that makes people ask you what’s going on and you’re forced to either lie or tell them, then… I guess I would say you’re doing a great job.

00:05:42

Biz

Host

90% of parenting victories right there.

[Jordan laughs.] 

It’s time for thank-you’s.

00:05:46

Jordan

Guest

Thank-you’s!

00:05:47

Biz

Host

Everybody, it’s the MaxFunDrive! It’s the second week, Jordan.

00:05:52

Crosstalk

Crosstalk

Jordan: It’s the second week.

Biz: This is Jordan’s—

00:05:54

Biz

Host

—first MaxFunDrive. She comes to us from the Maximum Fun’s newest podcast, Feeling Seen. And we’re gonna get into that in just a second. But because MaxFunDrive shows, I think, may or may not be people’s necessarily favorite shows because we’re talking about the Drive the entire time—

00:06:14

Jordan

Guest

Right. Right.

00:06:16

Biz

Host

Yeah. Let’s just—but we’re charming while we’re doing it. So that’s—

00:06:19

Jordan

Guest

That’s the bottom line.

00:06:20

Biz

Host

That’s the bottom line. So no one go anywhere! We’re about to be super charming! 

00:06:23

Jordan

Guest

Yeah. Nobody go anywhere. ‘Cause we’re gonna value-add this. We’re gonna make this a value-add part of the conversation.

00:06:28

Biz

Host

Oh god, you’re using such good language!

[Jordan laughs.] 

So first, let’s say… thank you for supporting Feeling Seen. Thank you for supporting One Bad Mother. And thank you for supporting MaxFun and—

00:06:47

Jordan

Guest

Truly!

00:06:48

Biz

Host

Yeah! All of your favorite podcasts! Jordan, do you know why we do the MaxFunDrive?

00:06:54

Jordan

Guest

I’ve been told about why we do the MaxFunDrive, but I would hate for a novice such as myself to get into why. I will defer to the expert on this one of why we do the MaxFunDrive.

00:07:04

Biz

Host

Ohhh! Well we are listener-supported. 

00:07:08

Jordan

Guest

Yes.

00:07:09

Biz

Host

We are supported by the listeners. You own your show. I own my show. Right? MaxFun helps us get those shows out into the world. But you get to make your show. Because listeners support your show!

00:07:28

Jordan

Guest

‘Cause literally the people on the other end of this transaction—on the other end of this talking and listening relationship—

[Biz laughs.] 

—are 100% responsible for us being able to do the things that we do. And here’s the thing about it, is that I will insult you in this moment and I will put you on the spot and I will say, listener, if you have ever said “support independent film,” and if you have ever bemoaned the Disney machine for producing what you consider studio pablum? I don’t, but maybe you have. You are obligated to become a MaxFun—if you are here and listening and you have said that and you exist in that Venn Diagram, you in fact are obligated now to support independent media here. Because allegedly, that aligns with your personal values and I would hate for you to not mean what you say. 

00:08:15

Biz

Host

Oh! Jordan has come in with a stick! 

00:08:18

Jordan

Guest

I would hate for you to not live up to the quality of your own character that you purport to have on the internet!

[Biz laughs.] 

So I look forward to you subscribing to Maximum Fun! 

00:08:29

Biz

Host

Oh, yeah. No. This is a great place to support independently-run shows. I don’t know always what is said on your show, but here…

00:08:40

Jordan

Guest

Fair.

00:08:42

Biz

Host

For ten years, I feel like we’ve done our very best to be as honest as possible. To try to be socially responsible. And to be just as minded, all the while, trying to deal with the fact that everything’s been taken from us when kids came into our house. [Laughs.] 

00:09:03

Jordan

Guest

Right. Yeah. Yeah.

00:09:05

Biz

Host

Y’know, a parenting podcast. I wanna back up what Jordan just said. If this show or Feeling Seen has made you feel seen. Has made you feel heard and seen and part of a community? That is what you are supporting. And because this audience is made up of a lot of parents—you gotta go right now.

[Jordan laughs.] 

Because you’re gonna get interrupted twenty times before you can even get to the website. So pull over.

[Jordan laughs.] 

Pull over. Park the stroller for a second. At the Target. If you’re at home? You just tell your partner, “My stomach’s upset. I need to go to the bathroom.” Hide in the bathroom, get it done. It’s really easy. You just have to go to MaximunFun.org/join right now. Now, now, now. Now.

00:10:00

Jordan

Guest

Yeah! You don’t have to join for a large sum of money. You can join for what is a small sum of money that cumulatively makes literally all of the difference. A gargantuan bit of difference in this operation being able to continue on. And so do that. Go be a part of the solution right now.

00:10:17

Biz

Host

Oh, you’re so intense, Jordan!

[Jordan laughs.] 

[Biz laughs.] 

00:10:22

Jordan

Guest

I’m a specialist in horror and action cinema, so I talk to a lot of men on the internet?

[Biz laughs.] 

So I have to be.

00:10:29

Biz

Host

Hey, guess what I just found out? Our male listenership has grown and is currently our largest collection of listeners! One Bad Mother, guys! Our largest listenership is currently men!

00:10:43

Jordan

Guest

Great job, dudes. Great job, dudes.

00:10:45

Biz

Host

Fuck yeah, man!

00:10:47

Jordan

Guest

That’s wonderful to hear.

00:10:49

Biz

Host

I know! This is a group that’s like, “Yeah! We’re part of it!” It’s because we don’t talk to them like they’re shitheads.

[Both laugh.]

00:10:57

Jordan

Guest

Oh, you’re better than me.

00:10:59

Biz

Host

I know. Well I’m not talking film.

[Jordan laughs.]

Because that—women have no business talking in film! Alright.

[Jordan laughs.] 

Okay. We’re gonna stop. We’re stopping for just a second, because we’re gonna come back and talk with Jordan about their podcast, Feeling Seen. And, y’know, how we feel seen in movies.

00:11:19

Jordan

Guest

Yeah! Absolutely.

00:11:20

Music

Music

Banjo strums; cheerful banjo music continues through dialogue.

00:11:21

Theresa

Host

Please—take a moment to remember: If you’re friends of the hosts of One Bad Mother, you should assume that when we talk about other moms, we’re talking about you.

00:11:27

Biz

Host

If you are married to the host of One Bad Mother, we definitely are talking about you.

00:11:31

Theresa

Host

Nothing we say constitutes professional parenting advice.

00:11:34

Biz

Host

Biz and Theresa’s children are brilliant, lovely, and exceedingly extraordinary.

00:11:38

Theresa

Host

Nothing said on this podcast about them implies otherwise.

[Banjo music fades out.] 

[Biz and her guest repeatedly affirm each other as they discuss the weekly topic.]

00:11:44

Biz

Host

Jordan. 

00:11:45

Jordan

Guest

Yes. 

00:11:47

Biz

Host

Okay. I have to ask you this question ‘cause we ask every guest, ever, this question. Who lives in your house? And that can include really anything. Ghosts. Animals. Or you get the just privilege of total silence. [Laughs.] 

00:12:02

Jordan

Guest

Uh, I have—I have a roommate! I have one roommate who is I think seven years younger than me. I’m thirty-six.

00:12:09

Biz

Host

I was gonna say, “What are you guys? Twenty?! You got a roommate!” 

[Jordan laughs.] 

Fucking love it.

00:12:14

Jordan

Guest

Yeah. She—we moved in actually when—‘cause we’ve been together now for six years in this apartment. So we moved in when I was thirty and she was twenty-three. And man, I truly loved living with somebody watching just sort of from an arm’s length, their early twenties to late twenties arc. I was like, “This is a special thing to witness to.”

[Biz laughs.] 

00:12:37

Crosstalk

Crosstalk

Biz: She’s very clean. Very good. Yeah.

Jordan: We make for very good roommates.

00:12:39

Jordan

Guest

And I’m very tidy. So it works out very well. I’m very, very lucky.

00:12:43

Biz

Host

I am very glad to hear all of these things. This is really—no pets! 

00:12:48

Jordan

Guest

No. I—sadly, she is allergic to cats.

[Biz gasps.]

Otherwise I would have cats by this point. But I—that’s why I make it a habit of pet-sitting for friends as often as they’ll ask me to.

00:12:59

Biz

Host

Okay. That’s very good. Yeah. We are very pro-animal but also pro-cat.

[Jordan laughs.] 

In this house.

00:13:05

Jordan

Guest

[Laughs.] Yeah. Oh, very much pro-cat.

00:13:07

Biz

Host

In fact, if we hit 275, I am gonna release a little bonus content called “Tell me about your cat.” 

[Jordan laughs.] 

In which I fulfill my fantasy of wanting to have a podcast where I talk to people about their cats. So—

00:13:24

Jordan

Guest

I think that would be very fruitful, ‘cause people really will go on one. When you start asking about—particularly if they are childless themselves.

00:13:31

Biz

Host

Yeah! [Laughs.] Tell me about your podcast.

00:13:34

Jordan

Guest

Yeah! The [self-mocking voice] Feeling Seen podcast. It is—

00:13:37

Biz

Host

What, you have to say it like that? [Mimics tone] The Feeling Seen—[Laughs.] 

00:13:40

Jordan

Guest

The Feeling Seen podcast. It is—I love getting to do this show. I have a new guest on each week. We consider them cohosts ‘cause we try—I aim for it to be as conversational as possible because I’m talking to people who are typically people who do a lot of interviews, and I would like for it to be as much of a casually approaching conversation as possible instead of like, “Hi! It’s your allotted 50 minutes to be with this person in the game of musical chairs.” I was a journalist for fifteen years coming out of college. Interviewing people is one of the great sort of privileges of life, getting to talk to bunches of different people all the time about what animates them and makes them passionate. And a fun thing about the show is that it is typically pegged to what’s coming out for a screenwriter or a director or an actor or people who write about films, even. In the way that we have guests come on. Like, there’s a news peg but it’s not necessarily specifically about the thing. So it’s not like a recitation of talking points that people have been hammering over and over.

[Biz laughs.]

I ask people to bring a character—or multiple characters—that they have felt have been representative of them in film that they have watched in their lives. And then—or, y’know, in the absence of that, characters that they have had to graft themselves onto because linear representation wasn’t an option for them. And talking to them about how those characters are emotionally meaningful for them and how they have gone on to be sort of influential in the work that they have done. And oftentimes, how those characters that they pick factor into the work that they make now and how they—their—y’know, the echoes that they might have in characters that they have gone on to play. And it’s really nice. And people have been so, so, so generous with me in conversation and opening up and being very vulnerable. And me and Ke Huy Quan, from Everything Everywhere All at Once, we cried together? And—

00:15:22

Biz

Host

I love it!

00:15:23

Jordan

Guest

Yeah! I love it!

00:15:25

Biz

Host

I mean, not tears. I just love that like… you guys get to go there and have those discussions. Of all the people you’ve interviewed so far, has anybody’s like—“This is my character. This is the person that I relate to the most.” Has there been anything that you’ve been like, “That’s a surprise.”

00:15:42

Jordan

Guest

Uh, Josh Johnson— the comedian Josh Johnson picking The Joker. Heath Ledger’s The Joker. Was a—that was a surprise to hear and then it made for a wonderfully fruitful conversation. It was exciting to get to talk to Susan Orlean about being able to literally choose herself as played by Meryl Streep in the most absurdist fashion in the movie Adaptation. That’s a rare opportunity.

[Biz laughs.] 

00:16:07

Biz

Host

That’s the best. Oh yeah! Well, yeah, ‘cause now you finally get the opportunity, “Well when they make my movie, I want it to be so-and-so who plays me.” And you—some people actually get to pick that!

00:16:19

Jordan

Guest

Yeah! And it was actually Meryl Streep in a version of Susan Orlean that absolutely does not exist. And her watching that and being like, “Oh. Wow. Okay.” 

[Biz laughs.] 

Like—[Laughs.] “Have to come to terms with some of this. That’s alright.” And talking to the young actor Auli’i Cravalho, who you probably most popularly know from being the voice of Moana in that Disney movie is—she’s now in a gay high school romcom in which she plays the other half of the two co-leads in that film. And talking to her, being able to talk to people who you might know from a big thing? And being like, “Here’s what I’m not gonna do—ask you about that big thing.”

00:16:57

Biz

Host

About the big thing. Yeah. Yeah. It’s like me—I don’t wanna talk about people’s kids with them. [Laughs.] 

00:17:02

Jordan

Guest

Right! Like, I don’t wanna talk to you about the greatest hit that you play at every live show. I wanna talk to you about just you! You’re the headline. You are the expert source of yourself. And being able to give people that time and attention, I think, is a really special opportunity. And I take it really seriously, and I aim to take it very seriously in the pursuit of having a very good time with them. But also hopefully prompting them into conversations that they don’t typically on a press run get exposed to. And it’s fun watching people kind of shake off the machinery of a press tour and be like, “Oh! I—” It's funny when you hear people give the summary of the thing that they’re working on? Because like their cadence and tone of voice changes because you can tell they’ve said it 35,000 times in the last 72 hours. And then when they say something different and watching people that actually have to pause and work through an answer? It’s like, this isn’t something you’ve had to say over and over again over the past week and that is really exciting.

00:17:55

Biz

Host

Pre- and post- this podcast, have you found yourselves? I mean, are you getting—are people being ugly to you, Jordan, now that you have this podcast? Or have they just always been horrible? [Laughs.] 

00:18:09

Jordan

Guest

They—that was—yeah. That was a preexisting condition. And no. With this, it has been—I identify on the asexual spectrum. And there are not a lot of voices for that, I’ve found? Anywhere? Let alone in fiction, like film and television fiction?

00:18:25

Biz

Host

What?!

00:18:27

Jordan

Guest

Yeah. It’s like—“That’s not real.” And so I find it—

00:18:30

Biz

Host

No, wait. I do think we should stop for just a quick second because we are a show that likes to get better about things ‘cause I’m an old lady, but I have very cool kids so I kind of know everything. 

00:18:40

Jordan

Guest

That’s great. Utilize that.

00:18:42

Biz

Host

I am trying. But remind us… about asexuality.

00:18:46

Jordan

Guest

Sure, sure, sure! I’m—I identify as a panromantic-grey-asexual, so that’s my big old multihyphenate.

00:18:52

Biz

Host

Oh! What the fuck does “grey” mean? I don’t know that one!

00:18:54

Jordan

Guest

I know! Isn’t that fun? Isn’t that fun?

00:18:56

Biz

Host

I know “pan.” I know pan and I know asexual.

00:18:58

Jordan

Guest

Grey is great ‘cause it’s hedging your bets. Like, the panromantic is capable of having a crush on any old person. And then there’s asexual, which is like, “Oh, that person’s like not driven by sex and they’re not having it.” The grey means there’s an asterisk there where I accept that the situation could change at any given moment! I’ve never had sex in my life. It’s never been a part of my life. It’s never been anything I’ve really been driven to. But I hold a space with the asterisk being like, “I don’t know what’s gonna happen next week.” So it’s my way of being like, “Sexuality’s a moving target!” So it's like building in a buffer zone. For—because people like John Bernthal exist and people like Eva Green exist and who am I to say I would be like, “No.”

00:19:36

Biz

Host

But like that’s the whole thing we’re trying to teach our kids right now, is you get all this new language. You get all this new stuff. Don’t shut all your doors ‘cause you’ve got a million choices now. Right? Try everything out! Try it out! See what fits! If it doesn’t fit, try something else! Okay. Good. So—this is such a generic way of saying, “people not having sex,” but it’s people who aren’t driven—they don’t have that—

00:20:00

Jordan

Guest

Yeah. It’s not like, I experience attraction. Certainly I develop crushes. I am absolutely known for my public thirsting on the internet at points?
 

[Biz laughs.] 

But actually this is a really interesting thing. The parlance of thirsting on Twitter. The way that it can take on that sort of extravagant language. Like, “Hit me with a car. Throw me off a building, Rachel Weisz.” Like that whole kind of like completely hyperbolic language around desire, I find, is actually really inviting for somebody like me. Where sex as a practice—

[Biz laughs.] 

—only exists in abstract. Like, it’s not something that’s concretely part of my life. So that—actually that language around being attracted to people—which I am!—I find to be really helpful. Because it manages to—it’s so grandiose that it’s like sterile.

[Biz laughs.] 

I’ve mentioned the story of like, if I posted like a beautiful image of some celebrity on the internet and someone was like, “She could beat me to death with a mallet.” I’d be like, “Cosign!” But if someone was like, “Wow, I wanna see her topless” I’d be like, “You’re a fucking pervert and you need to get outta here.”

[Biz laughs.] 

Blocked! It’s too specific. It’s too real. It’s too focused. It’s like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, ew! Weirdo!

00:21:18

Biz

Host

Oh my god, we’re gonna have so many conversations that are irrelevant to what I said we were gonna talk about today. 

[Jordan laughs.] 

00:21:23

Jordan

Guest

But I just—I find that the internet has actually created a kind of cadence around talking about desire that is so not sexual in its extremity that it actually becomes a perfect way for me to talk about sexuality and desire and participate in it in a way that I’m a very, like, I’m a very curious observer and I’m a very open person to every conversation, but as far as participation in conversations around sexuality, that is actually one of the most inviting ways that I have found to interact with other people. 

00:21:52

Biz

Host

Alright. So now that we’re caught up on that—

00:21:55

Jordan

Guest

On that.

00:21:57

Biz

Host

—you go to the internet proclaiming as female-identifying person that you know something about film. [Laughs.] 

00:22:05

Jordan

Guest

[Through laughter] Yeah. Yeah. 

00:22:07

Biz

Host

So—and you’ve now—

00:22:08

Jordan

Guest

Gauntlet thrown! 

00:22:10

Biz

Host

[High-pitched voice] “I like a movie!”

[Jordan laughs.] 

[Deep voice] “Fuck you!!!” [Regular voice] Anyway, so tell me about that!

00:22:17

Jordan

Guest

I have found that I am such like a… kind of like a misandrist in my bones? Men are guilty until proven innocent. I have a baseline mistrust of them. Okay. Like a couple years ago I was sitting with a friend and she was like, “I feel like you’ve gotten more kind of intense in your dislike of men as you’ve gotten older. Is that fair to say? Is that true?” And I was like, “Rachel, yes. That is. And that’s because the older I get, the more women I get to know, the more stories from all of them of an assault, of harassment, of stalking, of mistreatment—the more women I meet, the more stories of horrible things happening to them at the hands of men. I hear. And it has had the effect of—” And I was like, “And there was a couple years where I was still working as a staffer at New York Magazine, at Vulture, where every day was what new atrocity are we going to write about when the reckoning around the MeToo movement started spilling over?” And it was like, “Rachel, I don’t see how I could be going in any other direction but the one I am.”

[Biz laughs.] 

 So like—but I found that in my space around a lot of horror stuff and action stuff, I curated a wonderful, little niche on Twitter. And here I am cursing myself to have it undone. 

00:23:35

Biz

Host

Of course. Let’s undo it right now. No one go to her Twitter! [Laughs.] 

00:23:38

Jordan

Guest

Who knows what Elon Musk will wrought on everything. But I find that when I get people who are doing a mansplain-y reply to me? I generally—it’s just an immediate all caps, “THANKS! I WASN’T ASKING FOR ANY INPUT!”

[Biz laughs.] 

And then there’s usually like a—if there’s ever—which is rare—like, a “Bitch.” Block. But for the most part, it’s like a—“Sorry, I didn’t mean to—” And I’m like, “Good! Thank you!” And I like to reply with a little handshake emoji. Like, “Okay, we’ve reached an understanding here.” And so like… that is kind of most often when I get those little annoyances thing, how that goes. But I feel like—it’s been a years-long effort to make sure I’m not in an echo chamber but I am in a positive reinforcement chamber. Among people who share my interests. And that’s really nice. Twitter is a complete—aware of all of its faults, but day-to-day it’s a total thumbs-up experience in my life.

00:24:34

Biz

Host

You are the only person I’ve ever heard that from, so good job!

[Jordan laughs.] 

Good. Job. Let’s jump into… the horror. Let’s jump into the horror. So you’re telling me you’re a horror person and you’re an action person. I, too, am a horror/action person, though my horror has gone down since—I probably spent all of my twenties just deeply, like, I… 

00:25:01

Jordan

Guest

Awesome.

00:25:03

Biz

Host

All the—especially involving the Devil, ‘cause I was raised Catholic so, y’know, the Devil—the Devil. That’s real. Done and done. Right? [High-pitched voice] “It’s all for you, Damien!” [Regular voice] Yes, it is.

[Jordan laughs.] 

So—and then—action. Oh, yeah. Right? Horror—Stefan—all he has ever wanted to do with me is sit down and watch Titanic.

[Jordan laughs.] 

And I’m like, “I’m so sorry. I can’t do it. I have—I just—I just… every part of me says ‘I will not like it!’” And I know what happens—

00:25:38

Jordan

Guest

And I do love Titanic.

00:25:40

Biz

Host

Yeah. Everybody loves Titanic! I like The Unsinkable Molly Brown if we really wanna go back to eight million years ago. Like, that is my happy place. Lots of times I just need to go watch somebody get the shit beat out of them.

00:25:53

Jordan

Guest

Yeah. 100%. 

00:25:55

Biz

Host

Bonus points if people feel justified for it.

[Jordan laughs.] 

So! [Laughs.] So.

00:26:00

Jordan

Guest

Totally.

00:26:01

Biz

Host

Slap me, Timothy Olyphant in anything, and I’m—

00:26:03

Jordan

Guest

Oh my god.

00:26:05

Biz

Host

I know! He walks like sex.

00:26:06

Jordan

Guest

That man. That man. Unbelievable.

00:26:09

Biz

Host

He is a good-looking man.

00:26:10

Jordan

Guest

A good-looking gentleman. 

00:26:12

Biz

Host

Yes. A good-looking gentleman. And I could just watch him punch people all day. I’m just like, “Oh, enjoy. Enjoy that character.”

00:26:18

Jordan

Guest

He’s justified.

00:26:20

Biz

Host

“You are justified.” He is Deadwood-ed, he is all those things. Alright. You are—I’m gonna call you a film expert.

00:26:26

Jordan

Guest

I will accept.

00:26:28

Biz

Host

Because this is a quote-unquote “parenting podcast”—[Laughs.] We use the term loosely. Let’s talk about… parents—I wanna actually start with Poltergeist. Because this is one of my all-time favorite movies. And growing up, I wanted that couple. Right? The—you are the name person. But the parents in—

[Jordan laughs.] 

—Poltergeist, the mom and dad—lady one, man one. They were like my couple goals. I was like—

00:27:02

Jordan

Guest

They were such a dreamy ‘70s couple. Craig T. Nelson is such like a… he’s such a handsome, big, masculine man.

00:27:13

Biz

Host

But they just seem so settled! In like… who they were and like their relationship. And like, there’s just moments you wanna get high—right, there’s all these moments where she’s like, “Think back to when you were young and you had an open mind.” And like—and when the shit hits the fan and the child just completely disappears because a ghost is in your house or whatever—that is really me being very loose on what’s happening in that house.

[Jordan laughs.] 

Craig T. Nelson just… totally accepts it.

00:27:44

Jordan

Guest

It is such a rare treat in that movie that people just get onboard. In American horror cinema, there’s a real annoying tradition of spending half the movie being gaslit if you’re the protagonist? 

00:27:57

Biz

Host

Yes. Exactly.

00:27:59

Jordan

Guest

Whereas if you watch Japanese ghost movies, there’s such a different relationship with myth and lore and the permeability of the plane between life and death. Like you watch something like The Ring—the original ring, Ringu—and there isn’t this like, “What do you mean, this thing is happening?” It’s people being like, “This thing is happening? You’re fucked. Oh my god. You’ve let the curse out.”

[Biz laughs.] 

There is such this—versus—it’s less of a tradition—a mythologically-comfortable tradition in American cinema. To where part of it has to be everybody telling somebody they’re wrong for 45 minutes before we can just get to the ghosting of it.

00:28:35

Biz

Host

Just so you know, our wedding vows—Stefan and my’s wedding vows—include me saying, “If I ever come to you and say the house is haunted and we have to move, you have to say, ‘Okay.’” 

00:28:52

Jordan

Guest

Okay! That is great! That is a great pact.

00:28:55

Biz

Host

No! We needed that pact because there may come a time—like, every time I watch one of these horror films I’m like, “No, no, no, no, no! I don’t wanna spend eight hours—like, a week, getting tossed around in my underwear against the wall in a house because you don’t think we should move.” [Laughs.] No, no, no. Pack it up.

00:29:14

Jordan

Guest

I’ve told my friends this—I think I’ve posed it on Twitter. Like, “Hey, you know what? If anybody ever tells me that they are under threat from a ghost? You can come to me. I will believe you 100% and we will start working on solutions and I’m not gonna explain to you why you’re wrong.” Because that doesn’t fucking help anybody.

00:29:28

Biz

Host

No, no. Yeah. If the kids say to me that they are talking to somebody in the fireplace, which has happened? I say—I’m Southern. There’s ghosts fucking everywhere. Anyway. So I say to my children whenever they come to tell me anything about something horrible, I say—my first question is, “Did they tell you to kill me?” And the answer is—the first one’s “No.” “Are they nice?” “Yes.” “Are they telling you to do anything that seems off?” “No.” “Okay, have fun.”

00:29:58

Jordan

Guest

Great! Yeah! Then okay, be nice to them! Because I don’t wanna change this relationship you have. And let’s just go from there! Let’s just go from there.

00:30:06

Biz

Host

I agree. Alright. We have to stop because this is a podcast that usually [through laughter] sometimes does go for several hours. But today we’re gonna keep it short and we will be right back.

00:30:19

Music

Music

“Ones and Zeroes” by “Awesome.” Steady, driving electric guitar with drum and woodwinds.

[Music fades out.]

00:30:36

Biz

Host

Guys? MaxFunDrive week two. If you aren’t aware, when you become a supporter of your favorite show, which is Feeling Seen and One Bad Mother—or any of the podcasts on MaxFun—you get stuff. 

00:30:54

Jordan

Guest

[Through laughter] Yeah! You—this is not just for us! This is also for you!

00:30:58

Biz

Host

You get the stuff. Now, $5 a month—for five dollars and fifteen cents, I get a tall soy cappuccino with an extra shot. ‘K? That’s what I spend five dollars and fifteen cents on, probably more than I should. So. Let’s pretend that the cappuccino is full of content. [Laughs.] 

00:31:20

Jordan

Guest

[Through laughter] Yeah! Yes! This is a content cappuccino.

00:31:23

Biz

Host

It’s a content—so when you spend $5 a month—when you buy one content cappuccino, as it were, a month—

00:31:31

Jordan

Guest

That’s a really good point.

00:31:33

Biz

Host

Yeah. You get obviously not only the satisfaction of knowing that you are helping these shows get made, you get bonus content. And not just bonus content from this year, but bonus content going back forever.

00:31:46

Jordan

Guest

Yeah. From forever.

00:31:47

Biz

Host

From forever. Of every MaxFun show. So for example, we have somewhere around ten One Bad Mother bonus shows going around. You’ve got a wonderful—what is your bonus show this year?

00:32:00

Jordan

Guest

Uh, the bonus episode was a lot of fun.

[Biz laughs.] 

My—a dear friend of mine, he’s in sports radio broadcasting and his name is Matt Kolsky. He told me—he loves this show. He’s a wonderfully devoted listener and he was like, “I wanna interview you for your show.”

00:32:13

Biz

Host

Oh, fun!

00:32:15

Jordan

Guest

And so I took—I took that to wonderful producer Marissa Flaxbart, and she was like, “Yeah, let’s do it!” And so Matt interviewed me. I became the cohost of my own show about what characters make me feel seen. And I have absolutely no boundaries in conversation? So it was like—I will talk about whatever you ask. We can get into whatever you want. Let’s go.

00:32:37

Biz

Host

I have to go listen to that!

00:32:39

Crosstalk

Crosstalk

Jordan: It’s honestly really compelling.

Biz: Don’t tell us! Don’t tell us!

00:32:42

Biz

Host

‘Cause I bet it’s really good! Do not tell us right now, because I’m like… “Oh, god, I gotta know what that is!” 

[Jordan laughs.] 

So—and for One Bad Mother, as One Bad Mother reaches its ten-year milestone, with that comes great change! And so we are toying around with a new, maybe, format? New way of doing the show? And that’s what we made our bonus episode. So—

00:33:06

Jordan

Guest

Oh, it’s like a little beta test!

00:33:07

Biz

Host

A little beta test. $5. You get the beta. 

[Jordan laughs.] 

I also want to say, $10 a month—let’s say you want two content cappuccinos a month. $10 a month, you get all the bonus. And I know the last few years there have been these amazing enamel pins. But now… we are moving forward. And this year, they are the most amazing patches. 

[Jordan laughs.] 

You can iron on if you wish. Tell me about your patch!

00:33:43

Jordan

Guest

The Feeling Seen patch is—if you look up the Feeling Seen pod and you look at its little icon, it’s incorporates at once a spectrum of emotion? And a spectrum of sort of visual representations of people’s eyes. It’s people, y’know, reacting! It’s anger, it’s sadness, it’s frustration. All expressions in these little, y’know, small frames of eyes. And then there on the patch we’ve incorporated that. And then on either side, there are little sprockets. Like it’s a little film reel. And honestly? It’s cute. And you should iron it on to something or sew it on to something or however you can fasten it. 

00:34:16

Crosstalk

Crosstalk

Jordan: Get gifts! Get gifts from us, you guys!

Biz: Get that—get that denim!

00:34:20

Biz

Host

Get that denim jacket ready! 

[Jordan laughs.] 

For all the feelings coming atcha on the jacket!

00:34:25

Jordan

Guest

Get these for your kids! Get these for your kids! 

[Biz laughs.] 

Give ‘em a present!

00:34:29

Biz

Host

Don’t get mine for your children. Mine says, “Go fuck yourself.” I’m just kidding! It does not!
 

[Jordan laughs.] 

It does not. It is—the One Bad Mother one is based on an old-school sailor-style heart tattoo with the banner that might say “mother,” but ours of course says “One Bad Mother.” There are so many different gifts. So many different levels you can support. Again, you’re helping us all reach our goals. I should let you know that if we hit the One Bad Mother goal of 500 new, upgrading, or boosted—you can—that all goes towards the 500 goal—I will get that patch that’s based on a tattoo… tattooed. On my child. I’m just kidding!
 

[Jordan laughs.] 

On my body! Onto my body!

00:35:20

Jordan

Guest

Oh, that’s tremendous!

00:35:21

Biz

Host

Right? I’ve never done it in all these years! I’ve got tattoos, but I’ve never done the tattoo Drive thing. But I was like, I could totally see this as a tattoo.

00:35:30

Jordan

Guest

I mean, it’s a—you are in a very long-term relationship with this podcast, so I feel like it really rises to the level.

00:35:34

Biz

Host

I’ve had this podcast longer than my second child. 

[Jordan laughs.] 

So. The only thing I’ve had longer is my first and one of my cats. So everybody? MaximumFun.org/join. When? Right now! Right now! Go! Go on now!

00:35:55

Jordan

Guest

We only do this once a year, so just fucking deal with it. 

[Biz laughs.] 

And do something about it.

00:36:00

Biz

Host

Yeah. Do something about it! Make us stop talking!

[Jordan laughs.] 

Alright. Anyway. We will be back. 

00:36:07

Theresa

Host

Hey, you know what it’s time for! This week’s genius and fails! This is the part of the show where we share our genius moment of the week, as well as our failures, and feel better about ourselves by hearing yours. You can share some of your own by calling 206-350-9485. That’s 206-350-9485.

00:36:27

Biz

Host

Genius fail time. Genius me, me!

00:36:31

Clip

Clip

[Dramatic, swelling music in background.]

Biz: Wow! Oh my God! Oh my God! I saw what you did! Oh my God! I’m paying attention! Wow! You, mom, are a genius. Oh my God, that’s fucking genius!

00:36:44

Biz

Host

Okay! I will. I have been doing movie nights with Ellis! I don’t know if I shared this, but we have had a really good time. Usually Raiden and Stefan go out to the filthy danger-hole that we call a garage and watch a movie out there every Friday night, and Ellis just goes to sleep. Well, he doesn’t “just” go to sleep. I sit in the room next to Ellis’s room and wait for them to go to sleep. But I was like, this kid’s like eight! [Laughs.] I guess I should start treating my eight-year-kid like an eight-year-old kid. So we have started watching movies on Friday night inside, in the comfortable, comfy den. With a couch and no mosquitos. So recently we have done the first two Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, and they were really fun. We have to stop sometimes. The second one’s a little confusing, everybody. But we got through it. And it’s just becoming a nice little Mom and Ellis thing that doesn’t feel like it’s taking something from me. And I really like it! So anyway. There ya go. That’s my genius. [Laughs.] 

00:37:55

Caller

Caller

[Answering machine beeps.] 

Hey, ladies! This is a genius moment that I have been talking myself out of calling in for quite a while. By the way, I am two months pregnant and even now hearing that I’m doing a great job made me tear up a little bit. So thanks. I keep hearing you guys get calls about locking your keys in your car, locking your kid in your car—

[Biz laughs.] 

—and for the last couple years I’ve been a truck driver with two dogs, and they’ve locked me out of my truck multiple times a day.

[Biz laughs.] 

And there’s no key fob for a semi-truck, so I have taken to clipping my spare keys to my bra? My bra strap? I also keep another one in my wallet just in case ‘cause I haven’t been able to wear a bra for the last month without excruciating pain. Thank you guys so much for the show! You guys are doing great. Everybody’s doing great. Bye!

00:38:51

Biz

Host

Oh my god, this is genius! How have we not thought about this? This is genius. And I also like the idea of multiple keys in multiple places. You’re doing such a good job! I really appreciate you telling us that. Yayyy! Failures.

00:39:13

Clip

Clip

[Dramatic orchestral music plays in the background.]

Theresa: [In a voice akin to the Wicked Witch of the West] Fail. Fail. Fail. FAIL!

[Timpani with foot pedal engaged for humorous effect.]

Biz: [Calmly] You suck!

00:39:19

Biz

Host

Fail me, me. Alright. I think I mentioned a while back that after the winter break, I took some pottery classes. They were a gift from Stefan and it was so nice. And you’re not supposed to run your towels or whatever you’re wearing that’s covered in clay? [Laughs.] From the very messy process that is how I like to pottery? You can’t just throw ‘em in the wash ‘cause then the clay gets all in there and that’s bad. So you’re supposed to bring ‘em home and hose ‘em off outside. Hose all the clay off. Then throw them in the wash. And I have not done that. And I have two, like, bags and one box ‘cause I thought, “Well if I take ‘em out of the bag and I put them in this box just outside the door… the back door… I’ll know I need to hose them off.” And I haven’t. So there are some seriously nasty towels and my overalls that are all really in need of some attention. And plus that’s just like three extra weird, dirty things that I’ve just allowed to pile up in the house within my view. So I am not happy. [Laughs.] 

00:40:39

Caller

Caller

[Answering machine beeps.] 

Hi, One Bad Mother! I’m calling with a fail. I switched my toothpaste to a Dr. Bronner’s, like a fancy, maybe, serum-face-cream-kinda-looking tube? And I thought to myself a while ago and I was like, “Y’know what? I’m gonna grab the wrong tube.” And I did that. I grabbed the face cleanser and started brushing my teeth. Go through—I have one of those automatic toothbrushes that does the thirty seconds on each side? Got through the first thirty seconds and I’m like, “You know what? This doesn’t taste minty.” I brushed a quarter of my mouth with soap or face cleanser. And it wasn’t awful! [Laughs.] 

[Biz laughs.] 

I don’t want to do it again, but it wasn’t awful. I’m not overly tired. I was just confused. So I thought you guys would enjoy that. We’re all doing a terrible job sometimes brushing our teeth with face cleanser. Hope you have a great day, and love the show. Thanks. Bye.

00:41:39

Biz

Host

Oh, yeah. No. I actually haven’t done that. But—you are correct. That is a fail. And like with all of these fails? It’s that moment where you think to yourself in advance, “I bet I might do that. I hope I don’t do this thing that I know could be a thing.” Like confusing my toothpaste with my face lotion and then doing it. So you’re doing a horrible job, but I bet your teeth are very soft. [Laughs.] 

00:42:15

Music

Music

“Mom Song” by Adira Amram. Mellow piano music with lyrics.

You are the greatest mom I’ve ever known.

I love you, I love you.

When I have a problem, I call you on the phone.

I love you, I love you.

[Music fades out.]

00:42:38

Biz

Host

Alright, everybody. Let’s… listen to a mom have a breakdown!

00:42:44

Caller

Caller

[Answering machine beeps.] 

[Whispering] Hi. This is a rant. I’m currently calling from my bedroom.

[Biz laughs.] 

In my bed. Because I’m sulking like a fucking movie teenager. I just stormed off into my room and am currently stewing about this. In my bed, sulking, because my husband showed me a picture of his brother and his cousin and his wife because they went off for the weekend to meet actors and actresses from my favorite TV show of all time. And I said, “Wow! That’s cool! Why didn’t I get fucking invited?” And I was kinda joking, but the more I think about it, I’m furious! Like… I’m just so sick of being left out of things ‘cause I’m a parent! It’s like… I don’t understand. It’s so rude. Why wouldn’t you include me? This isn’t the first time this has happened and it won’t be the last. But I’m pissed! Like… just fucking invite me! I would wanna go! But people just assume, “Oh, she’s a mom, she’s busy with the kids, she won’t go.” Fuck this! I’ll go! I have no one to talk to about this. It’s 11 o’clock at night and I just feel like a fucking baby. But at the same time, no! I wanna be included in things! I want to do things! Invite me! I didn’t even know this was happening! [Sighs.] Whatever. I don’t care. Yes, I do. I thought you’d get this and appreciate it because I’m really calling from my bed by myself because I’m fucking… sulking. And crying like a moody teen. I’m a thirty-four-year-old grown-up woman.

[Biz laughs.] 

I just wanted to meet some cool people and do cool things like I used to do. Apparently that’s not an option for me anymore. 

[Biz laughs.] 

Maybe someday when my kids are eighteen. [Laughs humorlessly.] Okay. Thanks. Bye. 

00:45:00

Biz

Host

I love this so much. I love you so much! You’re doing such a great job. A couple of things—one, I love the quiet nature of this call ‘cause it made Gabe and I both lean in as if we were like, “But tell us! Tell us more!” To “Of course you’re pissed. Of course you stormed off and had a pity party.” The fact that most of us get through the day without doing that three, four, eighteen times a day? Is remarkable. We suck it up a lot. You are probably dealing with, y’know, sort of insult and injury once a kid got into your house all the time! Dismissiveness, not feeling cool, blah, blah, blah. All that. All that. Real. I think it’s completely reasonable that for something this epic and awesome, that you would have really enjoyed, I think you have every right to stomp off like a moody teen and throw yourself on the bed! I really do! ‘Cause I think it’s not… it’s not even so much for me about the… what the activity is. It’s the fact that it feels like you’re being cut out of something because you have kids now. I have shared that story at the very beginning of this show, like, ten years ago, of finding out later that friends of ours had been having a party and I had said, “Why didn’t you invite us?” And she just flat-out said, “Well, because you have a baby. We just assumed you wouldn’t come.” And I remember being like, “Don’t do that! Don’t assume that we wouldn’t come! You’re probably right. We probably cannot come and we probably will not come. But. I still want the opportunity to make that choice.” And it feels like a choice was being taken away from you. And when you have kids in your house, we’re already overthinking everything. In terms of how people see us, do we still have friends, are we a worthy human being in the world, why would anybody even like us? And when we don’t get asked to stuff that under normal circumstances we would expect to get asked to? Yeah, that sucks! That hurts. That doesn’t feel good. And y’know what? You are still cool. Okay? You are! And how do I know that? Because moody teenagers are cool, and you are being one. And that’s cool. I think you’re doing an amazing job and I really do understand. That really sucks. And I am sorry that you missed that opportunity. But that said, you’re doing a really great job. 

00:47:59

Biz

Host

Oh, everyone. 

[Jordan laughs.] 

[Singing] Making friends! Making friends! That’s the MaxFun way! Making friends!

00:48:08

Jordan

Guest

It really is! It’s podcasting with friends.

00:48:10

Biz

Host

It is podcasting with friends! I’m sure that’s somewhere out there already.

[Jordan laughs.] 

Sirius already has that on their podcast list. Jordan, welcome to the MaxFun family.

00:48:21

Jordan

Guest

Thank you so much!

00:48:22

Biz

Host

And welcome to the One Bad Mother community. This was…

00:48:25

Jordan

Guest

Thank you. I really appreciate you having me.

00:48:27

Biz

Host

So much fun!

00:48:30

Jordan

Guest

Yeah, I’ve had a great time. I love that you wanna talk about action movies and horror movies! That’s outstanding!

00:48:35

Biz

Host

Yeah! [Laughs.] Obviously we’re gonna have to continue to talk about these things, because you and I seem to have a trait of jumping around.

[Both laugh.]

Like, “Ooh, did you say that?”

00:48:45

Jordan

Guest

Yeah. I can talk at length about pretty much anything if you just keep prompting me.

00:48:48

Biz

Host

And I can just keep asking questions forever. And then—

[Jordan laughs.] 

And then adding my two cents that is unasked for.

00:48:55

Jordan

Guest

If you and the moms and the dads and the listeners to the One Bad Mother out there do want to watch what I consider to be the best fight-based action movie of the 21^st century—and probably all time, honestly—this is specifically fight-based. It’s on Netflix, which probably most of you have. And it does have—it has one of the phenomenal just little spot supporting roles by a—one of those female characters that comes in and you’re like, “Where’s your entire movie?” Her character’s called The Operator. She’s played by the actress Julia Estelle. But the movie is called The Night Comes for Us. So if you wanna see what I think is the best beat-down action movie maybe ever made, that’s on Netflix. It’s by the Indonesian filmmaker Timo Tjahjanto and it starts Joe Taslim and Iko Uwais, who are two of the most foremost accomplished international action stars of our time. Watch that.

00:49:55

Biz

Host

Done, everybody! That’s done. That’s easy.

00:49:58

Jordan

Guest

Do that.

00:49:59

Biz 

Host

Also… thank you, everybody. 

00:50:03

Jordan

Guest

Everybody!

00:50:05

Biz

Host

Yeah. This is—did you see how much joy Jordan has talking about movies?

00:50:10

Jordan

Guest

See? Mm-hm.

00:50:11

Biz

Host

This is you when you are supporting Maximum Fun and you are supporting podcasts.

00:50:17

Jordan

Guest

You’re supporting joy!

00:50:18

Biz

Host

You are supporting so much joy! Don’t make me do it. I’m gonna—[singing] She’s got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in heart. Where? Down in her heart! Where? [Regular voice] Anyway. I am… as always, incredibly honored to be able to keep doing this podcast just like Jordan said at the beginning about their podcast. I do take it very seriously. And I take this community very seriously. And… I just wanna encourage you that if you would like to continue to see One Bad Mother happen and podcasts like Feeling Seen—they just got here, guys. They’re just at the MaxFun. So let’s show them the MaxFun love. This is the way that you tell MaxFun the shows that you value, right?

00:51:08

Jordan

Guest

Yeah. And I really need you to value mine, ‘cause I wanna be around.

00:51:11

Biz

Host

Yeah. We would like Jordan to be around, obviously. So thank you. Go to MaximumFun.org/join. Follow Jordan on all the social. Follow One Bad Mother on the social. We’re gonna link all those things up just down below in the notes. But that’s where it all lives. It’s all good.

[Jordan laughs.] 

Jordan, I would like to tell you that you are doing a very good job!

00:51:37

Jordan

Guest

Thank you! I really, really appreciate that. I—it means a lot to me to do a good job? And so—and I wish to continue to keep trying to get better and better. So. And that, y’know, that requires people!

[Biz laughs.] 

Getting on board that MaxFun train! And I appreciate you saying so. That’s very nice. Coming from an anchor—from a vital pillar of the Maximum Fun lineup such as yourself?

00:52:03

Biz

Host

Well I appreciate it. I hope to be around until my children graduate from college, which will be really weird because nothing’s okay to talk about when it comes to your children. So we’ll just keep talking about how it’s affecting me. Everybody? You’re also doing a really remarkable job. This is hard. Nobody gives a shit. And we should all stop feeling like shit for being a parent. You are remarkable. And I will talk to you next week. Byeee!

00:52:31

Music

Music

“Mama Blues” by Cornbread Ted and the Butterbeans. Strumming acoustic guitar with harmonica and lyrics.

I got the lowdown momma blues

Got the the lowdown momma blues

Gots the lowdown momma blues

The lowdown momma blues. 

Gots the lowdown momma blues

Got the lowdown momma blues

You know that’s right.

[Music fades.]

00:52:57

Biz

Host

We’d like to thank MaxFun; our producer, Gabe Mara; our husbands, Stefan Lawrence and Jesse Thorn; our perfect children, who provide us with inspiration to say all these horrible things; and of course, you, our listeners. To find out more about the songs you heard on today’s podcast and more about the show, please go to MaximumFun.org/onebadmother. For information about live shows, our book and press, please check out OneBadMotherPodcast.com.

00:53:25

Theresa

Host

One Bad Mother is a member of the Maximum Fun family of podcasts. To support the show go to MaximumFun.org/join.

[Music resumes for a while before fading out.]

00:53:48

Music

Transition

A cheerful ukulele chord.

00:53:50

Speaker 1

Guest

MaximumFun.org.

00:53:51

Speaker 2

Guest

Comedy and culture.

00:53:52

Speaker 3

Guest

Artist owned—

00:53:53

Speaker 4

Guest

—Audience supported.