TRANSCRIPT One Bad Mother Episode 445: You Really Aren’t The Only One, with Eeka McLeod

00:00:00

Biz Ellis

Host

Hi. I’m Biz.

00:00:01

Theresa Thorn

Host

And I’m Theresa.

00:00:02

Biz 

Host

Due to the pandemic, we bring you One Bad Mother straight from our homes—including such interruptions as: children! Animal noises! And more! So let’s all get a little closer while we have to be so far apart. And remember—we are doing a good job.

00:00:20

Music

Music

“Summon the Rawk” by Kevin MacLeod. Driving electric guitar and heavy drums.

[Continues through dialogue.]

00:00:24

Biz 

Host

This week on One Bad Mother—you really aren’t the only one! We talk to Eeka McLeod about fostering and advocating for LGBTQ+ rights and special needs awareness. Plus, Biz gets kisses! 

00:00:38

Crosstalk

Crosstalk

Biz and caller: Woooo!

00:00:40

Caller

Caller

This is a check-in ‘cause I don’t really feel like a genius, but I just wanted to talk about it. My kid turned five last week and we have been talking for months about how once he turns five he was getting his COVID shot. And on his fifth birthday I went on the CVS website. I booked in the shot for the next day because I’m not a monster. I’m not gonna make him get a shot on his birthday. But we did it. We went the next day. He got his first shot. He got all his prizes that I promised him. And the first one’s done! Second one? A couple more weeks. We’re doing it! We’re making it! 

00:01:14

Biz 

Host

You’re making it! And doing it! Things are being done! You’re doing it! I think this is always worth a check-in. It’s also a genius. It’s all the things! I will never grow tired of hearing somebody say, “I got my child vaccinated.” Good for you! And good job, y’know, prepping the kid! Right? We all knew Ellis—we prepped Ellis for ever. “When it becomes available, you’ll be getting a vaccine. When it becomes available, you’ll be getting a vaccine. When it becomes available, you’ll be getting a vaccine.” That did not prevent Ellis from, y’know, as we all remember—running screaming through the parking lot. I didn’t know you could take paint off the walls of a parking garage, but you can. So I just think that’s great. Good job!

Speaking of good jobs—it’s thank you time!

00:02:05

Music

Music

Heavy electric guitar and driving percussion overlaid with “Ohh, oh-oh, oh-oh” and “Hey-ey-ey-ey-ey-ey” lyrics.

00:02:20

Biz 

Host

Thank you, people who are poking people with vaccines. Let’s start with you this week. Thank you! It really helps. Thank you to the people who are working on, like, COVID planning groups at schools. That’s a lot. You probably—that probably wasn’t your job at the school you worked at. And then suddenly you became the COVID coordinator of your school. Right? Like having to stay in touch with your local COVID health people. That—I’m clearly not the COVID coordinator of our school. The Department of Education. The Department of Health. Those are what those things are. And then issuing those communications. And answering questions! Like—that you—ahh! Thank you! Thank you. For doing that hard work. 

Thank you to people who volunteer. I just—for anything. It’s important. And I think it’s really great. Thank you to teachers. I love you. I love you. Spring break’s coming really soon. I hope you do something really nice! I hope that you have a good time! And school psychologists, school librarians, school counselors, college counselors—you’re busy right now. Everybody who works in the administration? Thank you. I really appreciate you. And you are really making a difference for somebody, so thank you. 

[Singing] Everybody in the medical industry! [Regular voice] Thank you! I hope things are starting to slow down. Probably not! But… I really appreciate that you keep showing up. Thank you. Thank you to—like I said—spring break. Ugh. Spring break! Woo! That’s coming. So let me just preemptively say thank you to everybody in the transportation community, because people are gonna be getting on planes and buses and trains and they may not wear masks. Anymore. I don’t know where we’ll be when spring break comes along. But I appreciate you. And I will wear a mask. And I will not touch things. That I shouldn’t touch. So I—thank you for making airports and airplanes and trains and buses and bus terminals safe. I appreciate you. 

I really just wake up every day thankful for all the people out there making every day possible. You’re amazing! Thank you so much. 

00:04:54

Biz 

Host

Speaking of amazing—our family [singing] has decided to get a new cat! [Regular voice] As you know, we said goodbye to Onion recently. That leaves us with Bee, the grand dame who has been with us for like sixteen years. [Laughs.] She like predates the kids. And Steve, who is a good boy. Who has no one to play with, because Bea is lofty and above. Literally sleeping in Raiden’s loft bed now all day, all night. Is like, “I’m good.” And Steve has no one to play with! Or rompy-stompy or bathe or make biscuits on. And we just need a new cat energy in the house. So. I always support our local shelters. As well as local rescue groups. And there is a cat café in Pasadena, and Stefan and I just went and petted cats for an hour! All the cats are adoptable. They’re all amazing. Several just came and sat right in our laps, and I got licky-loos on the face! From two cats. And one cat just started licking the inside of Stefan’s ear, which was weird. But that’s probably our cat, everybody. And they were the sweet booboos. And we’re gonna go back tomorrow with the kids and my parents to look at the sweet booboos again, and hopefully bring one of them home. I am very excited. They were adorable. And the two cats that we are really eyeballing both were recently rescued from a clear-the-shelter event, which I think is wonderful. And I just appreciate volunteers who foster and take care of animals. And I am really excited about it! 

Speaking of fostering, we are gonna talk today to Eeka McLeod. You may know her from TikTok and Instagram and YouTube, The McLeod Family, where she shares her experiences as a single parent to three children that she fostered and then adopted, as well as talk about their advocacy for LGBTQ+ and special needs rights. 

00:07:20

Music

Music

Banjo strums; cheerful banjo music continues through dialogue.

00:07:21

Theresa

Host

Please—take a moment to remember: If you’re friends of the hosts of One Bad Mother, you should assume that when we talk about other moms, we’re talking about you.

00:07:28

Biz 

Host

If you are married to the host of One Bad Mother, we definitely are talking about you.

00:07:32

Theresa

Host

Nothing we say constitutes professional parenting advice.

00:07:35

Biz 

Host

Biz and Theresa’s children are brilliant, lovely, and exceedingly extraordinary.

00:07:39

Theresa

Host

Nothing said on this podcast about them implies otherwise.

[Banjo music fades out.] 

[Biz and her guest repeatedly affirm each other as they discuss the weekly topic.]

00:07:44

Biz 

Host

This week, we are welcoming Eeka McLeod. Eeka McLeod’s journey to building her family began when she made the decision to pursue her dream of adopting a child. After becoming a licensed foster parent while in graduate school—that’s a heckuva thing to try to accomplish!—she started welcoming children into her home. Throughout her time fostering, Eeka cared for eighteen children! And eventually adopted three with disabilities: Eli, Evan, and Ella. Evan and Ella are on the autism spectrum, and Eli has cerebral palsy. She and her family are staunch advocates for LGBTQ+ rights and special needs awareness, and they share this passion with literally millions of followers across social media! Welcome, Eeka! [Laughs.] 

00:08:32

Eeka McLeod

Guest

Hi! How ya doing? [Laughs.] 

00:08:34

Biz 

Host

I’m fine! I—[Laughs.] My list is not nearly as full as your list, so I’m great! The question is probably, how are you? But before I get to ask you how you are—and everybody knows, I’ve already revealed too much—I wanna ask you… who lives in your house? 

00:08:52

Eeka 

Guest

Well, for starters, me. Of course. 

00:08:55

Biz 

Host

Yes. That’s very good that you’re there. [Laughs.] 

00:08:58

Eeka 

Guest

It’s true. The law says I have to uphold some sort of residence for the children, so here we are.

[Biz laughs.] 

And then of course there is my oldest, Eli. My middle is Evan, and my youngest is Ella. Then we have the two dogs and a cat. We have Ariel and Tinkerbell and then Molly. So three kids, two cats—wait, three kids, two dogs, one cat, and a fucking partridge in a pear tree.

00:09:22

Biz 

Host

Yeah. They’re interchangeable at some point, I think. So it’s fair. So… you’ve got an exciting enough life that I don’t need to digress us into all the other animal questions that I actually have and could spend twenty minutes asking you about. So I’m just gonna go back to that first question, which is—[Laughs.] How are you? 

00:09:43

Eeka 

Guest

Oh, that’s a loaded question. I think we should [inaudible]. Never ask that! Never ask Eeka how she’s doing! [Laughs.] 

00:09:50

Biz 

Host

No, it’s my favorite question ‘cause I expect 100% honesty.

00:09:55

Eeka 

Guest

I think most people are like, “Um… I’m so doing great. It’s fantastic.”

00:10:00

Biz 

Host

Yeah. “It’s great! That’s a lie.”

00:10:01

Eeka 

Guest

Shooting diamonds out of my ass! No. I am never well. So—

[Biz laughs.] 

I always tell people, I’m like, I hear people say, “I’m surviving and thriving.” And I was like, maybe I’m just ‘sur-‘. We didn’t even finish the ‘-viving.’ So that’s kind of where we’re at. I’m just—I’m over here just kind of—I’m playing it fast and loose with my mental health most days. So that’s where we’re at! We’re just—we’re just holding on and—on a wing and a prayer. A wing and a prayer.

00:10:30

Biz 

Host

I think that is our country’s approach to women’s mental health. Fast and loose. Good luck. 

[Both laugh.]

Good luck! Alright. I gotta—we’re just gonna start kinda at the beginning with the fostering. In grad school, no less! I mean, you only—you do not look haggard and broken. And I know you’ve got makeup on.

00:10:54

Crosstalk

Crosstalk

Biz: I know! You have makeup on ‘cause we all thought we were gonna be seen. Yeah. I am haggard and broken with, like, just having children in your house or the march of age. 

Eeka: I told you I put on makeup because I was filming the British [inaudible]. I take it off and I look like Dobby the Elf from Harry Potter. So.

00:11:07

Biz 

Host

So I’m like, what are you, seventeen? And the answer should be “yes.” Just say “yes.” So grad school and fostering… tell me about that! Talk to me about when—like, that moment—I know it’s not one fucking moment. I know it’s probably many moments. But talk to me about that time. 

00:11:27

Eeka 

Guest

Like when I was in grad school?

00:11:29

Biz 

Host

Yeah! When you were like, “I wanna have some kids. I wanna foster some kids.”

00:11:31

Eeka 

Guest

Literally. Yeah. Clearly—

00:11:33

Biz 

Host

“This is a great choice.”

00:11:35

Eeka 

Guest

—completely unstable. I always knew I wanted to adopt kids. And it’s funny ‘cause I talk to my friends—like, I didn’t know for a long time that I was queer? But I look back and I’m like, “There were so many signs!”

[Biz laughs.] 

“So many signs!” And literally the game I used to play as a kid when all the other little girls are playing pregnancy with a pillow under their tummy and then marriage with the doily on the head? I was playing adoption. I was the loser who was playing adoption and I would pretend I was like on the wagon trail? So I’d set up chairs and have like ropes or whatever? Like belts? Y’know, that’s how you get the horses. And I’d find orphan children and—

00:12:13

Crosstalk

Crosstalk

Biz: This is such a specific view of adoption.

Eeka: —um, I look back and—

00:12:17

Biz 

Host

Like, Oregon Trail-style adoption.

00:12:19

Eeka 

Guest

I was like five and six years old.

00:12:21

Biz 

Host

I—this is—no, I like this.

00:12:23

Eeka 

Guest

Adoption clearly took on Little House on the Prairie for me. Like, it was—

00:12:26

Biz 

Host

“Pa! Pa! Pa!” They had to adopt that kid! “Paaa!”

00:12:30

Eeka 

Guest

Good old half-pint. Yeah.

00:12:32

Biz 

Host

Fucking love that kid. 

00:12:34

Eeka 

Guest

So that’s what I would play. And then I always knew I would adopt, and everybody, I think, that knows me well knew I always said I would adopt kids. And then I thought, “Y’know, I should probably go to college! I should probably get some financial stability.”

[Biz laughs.] 

“Be an adult.” [Sighs.] And I went back to college late in life. I didn’t go to college ‘til I was like 27? 28?

00:12:54

Biz 

Host

Oh, me too! Yep! Me, too! And let me tell ya—that’s a great time to go, actually!

00:12:59

Eeka 

Guest

It really is! I appreciated the educated—the learning experience so much more! I was like 28 telling these 18-year-olds, “Shh! I’m paying for this on my own now, so—burn this money well!”

00:13:11

Biz 

Host

Alright. So you’re going back to college. Getting all the degrees. 

00:13:15

Eeka 

Guest

I’m in college. I’m thinking, “Okay. I know I wanna be a parent.” And so I got close to the end of college and I was like, “Shit. There’s not much I can do with a degree in psychology. I’m gonna have to go to grad school.” So, y’know, I pretty much stepped right into grad school right out of college. I was like, “Just keep going, Eeka! Just haul ass! Don’t stop!” [Through laughter] And I was like—ya can’t stop, won’t stop! So I just kept going and I remember thinking as I started grad school, I was just like, “Gosh, y’know, you’re not getting any younger. Your tits are starting to sag. I mean, most of the eggs you probably have left are just shriveled and dying, so you’re not birthing any kids anytime soon.” I had never had any desire to. And so—

00:14:03

Crosstalk

Crosstalk

Eeka: —I don’t know. That’s how it felt. Literally how it felt. 

Biz: Were you in grad school until you were fifty?! What is happening with this story? 

00:14:10

Eeka 

Guest

But then when it came to an end, I was like Sarah McLachlan. Like, [singing] “In the arms of the angels!” Like, I was so depressed. I was like, “Never leave me, school!” 

[Biz laughs.] 

I actually liked school. But I remembered just being in my first semester of grad school and I came—the thought came to my head, I was like, “You should start fostering.” And I remember thinking, “No, finish grad school.” And this is gonna sound nuts. This is gonna sound crazy. But I swear to you, I swear on everything—put me through a lie detector test, whatever you got—I heard a voice say, “No. Now.” And I was like, “Oh my god, Sky Daddy’s here.” So I just did it! I was like, “It’s time.”

00:14:50

Biz 

Host

Ya gotta listen! When the Sky Daddy—my Sky Daddy’s been telling me to paint UFOs recently. So—and you gotta do it! Whatever they tell you! Good.

00:14:56

Eeka 

Guest

I did it. I did it. I was not about to play fast and loose with that, I’ll tell you. When I heard that, I was like, “Okay!” [Laughs.] 

[Biz laughs.] 

“Oh my god, okay! I’ve seen The Ten Commandments! I know what happens! Don’t set me on fire!” I expected the Egyptians to come out [inaudible]. So that’s—that was it. I found a foster family agency at the time. I’m a very motivated individual? 

00:15:20

Biz 

Host

Yeah, clearly!

00:15:21

Eeka 

Guest

I just don’t pussyfoot around. I’m the kind of person if I’m gonna do something, I’m like [clapping] Let’s get it done. Y’know? And much to my children’s dismay now that I’ve had—[Laughs.] They’re like, “[Inaudible], mother.” So I was licensed within about a month. 

00:15:34

Biz 

Host

Wow. Wow. What was the age of the first—like, how soon did you get a foster and how old was the foster? 

00:15:42

Eeka 

Guest

It took forever! I was all in my ass about it, too. I was like, “Hello! Fully licensed! Bedroom ready, you guys!”

[Biz laughs.] 

And so I got my first kiddo. If I remember—I remember his name. I have all their names listed. I don’t ever wanna forget a name. And so it was like the Reader’s Digest version of foster parenting. He came and I was so excited. I was like, “Okay! My first kiddo!” I was all jovial and shit. Like…

[Biz laughs.] 

Back when I had hope. And so I’m—I mean, I took him out. We went to Target. I spent like $500. I get a call from the social worker the next day, like, “Oh, we found his mom. Can you bring him? He’s going.” 

00:16:20

Biz 

Host

Ouch! 

00:16:21

Eeka 

Guest

And that’s what you want! Y’know? You want ‘em to go back!

00:16:23

Biz 

Host

No! I know! We’ve talked to people who foster. The fostering is—you guys—there’s a thing that you got. Maybe it’s grey hair. I don’t know. You’re indicating to your hair.

00:16:35

Eeka 

Guest

I think there’s food in my hair. I’m sorry. I was throwing Froot Loops at myself earlier when I was filming, so I think there’s food in my hair.

00:16:41

Biz 

Host

There—don’t worry. There are plenty of things on all the people listening right now. But I know that we’ve talked to people who are like, “Yayyy! Fostering! Child! Ooooh! You’re gone!” [Laughs.] 

00:16:54

Eeka 

Guest

You enter it as a foster parent all fucking like, “I’m ready to do this! I’m ready! Let’s—come on, guys!” And you’re a cheerleader, and you leave the system—I mean, broken. I left—like, I came in looking like Little Orphan Annie, like, “Yeah!!!” And I left looking like a Dementor. So—a fucking Harry Potter reference today. No more Universal Studios for me.

00:17:16

Biz 

Host

Yep. Everybody sign up! We’ll have a link to where you can foster with this sales pitch! So—

00:17:22

Eeka 

Guest

Yeah. [Laughs.] It’s the honest truth, though! It’s the honest truth. I’m like, I’m never gonna be like—I was so disillusioned. I think every adult walks into this system disillusioned and you walk out like, “What? Just—” You walk out traumatized, y’know? [Laughs.] It’s hard! 

00:17:38

Biz 

Host

Don’t touch me! Don’t touch me! I know! 

00:17:39

Eeka 

Guest

It’s hard. So that was my first kiddo, and my next kiddo—kiddos—were actually a sibling set. And was really cool, because they were a sibling set of eight. And no, I did not take all eight. There was no home that could within the county, so they had to split them up. But I had two of them. And the oldest kiddo in that sibling set was ten. And he was a lot of fun! We had a lot of fun. I remember him. And I just was telling a friend of mine and I was like, “Gosh—I think he would be eighteen or twenty now.” That hurts my heart. [Laughs.] So. Yeah. They grow up.

00:18:15

Biz 

Host

Gosh darn it! That—yeah. I know. I’m actually thrilled with the growing-up part. I’m not a young kid person.

00:18:21

Eeka 

Guest

The older they get, the older I’ve gotten, apparently! So that’s when it really kicks in that I’m like, “Wait—oh, wait a minute. Age affected me, too?”

00:18:29

Biz 

Host

We’re old! Give me that AARP card! Alright. So then you decided to… actually adopt! You were like—you got to a point, yes, where you were like—

00:18:39

Eeka 

Guest

I was always set up for fost-adopt. I was always—my whole goal was to adopt. But I wanted to have the fostering experience as well. You can just do adoption through the foster care system. You can. You can choose to go that route and not have kids coming—the revolving door of in and out. So every kiddo that came in, I’m like, “Is this the one?” And then they would just go. It was ten children I had before Eli came. And any foster parent I talked to would be like, “Really? God, my first one was my forever child!” I’m like, “Fuck you!” 

[Both laugh.]

[Inaudible] the short end of the stick! And so the first one was Eli. He was my first forever child.

00:19:16

Biz 

Host

How old is Eli now?

00:19:18

Eeka 

Guest

Eli’s eight.

00:19:20

Biz 

Host

That’s a good age. I like eight.

00:19:21

Eeka 

Guest

He is eight. He is great. He is thriving. I just told a story on our Instagram today—‘cause the school—‘cause Eli’s severely disabled, right? But I think people think, like, the “d” in disabled equals dumb? And I always tell people, “d” in disabled is not “dumb.” This child is living his best life. He is a saucy little minx. He is so freaking funny. But the school calls me all the time. Like, “Ms. McLeod?” “Yeah. Monica, you know it’s me. You know there’s no other adult.”

00:19:50

Crosstalk

Crosstalk

Eeka: [Inaudible.]

Biz: There’s no other answering this cell phone!

00:19:53

Eeka 

Guest

“Eli has—he’s got like a—something on his finger?” “Is it a hangnail, Monica?” “Yeah, we think it’s a hangnail.” “Okay. Um… I—I—I think I can say this, um, and really feel that I’m right—he’s gonna live. Just send him back to class.” “Okay. We just wanted to make sure you know.” So I got a call yesterday and I thought it was just—the school loves him and I love—

00:20:17

Biz 

Host

I know! Everybody’s just trying to do their best. And it can make you all go crazy! Right!

00:20:21

Eeka 

Guest

I know that they’re trying to be really sweet. So I get a call yesterday and I’m waiting for them to be like, y’know, “The sky is the wrong shade of blue. Something’s wrong with Eli.” And so there is—he starts telling me—she’s like, “Yeah, you know he got a new aide. Eli was on the playground with his aide.” I’m like, “What—did the wind blow too hard on his face, Monica?” “Um, no, apparently—he’s in his wheelchair being pushed by this aide, and there was a toy on the ground.” And if you don’t know wheelchairs like Eli’s—we all have ridden bicycles, right? You accidentally press your front brake when you’ve been riding a bicycle really fast? It’s the same concept. That wheelchair hit that toy too fast, and Eli went “Whooo!” 

[Biz laughs.] 

[Through laughter] And apparently Eli, in his—he was strapped in so he didn’t fall out of the chair. He went down. It was like a man down situation. He was in a whole accident. It was a drive-by fruiting. 

[Biz laughs.] 

And so they’re calling me, freaking out, thinking I’m gonna be that parent that’s like, “Oh my god!” And I’m on the other end of the phone like—[Laughs.] 

00:21:25

Biz 

Host

“Is he alright? Yeah. Did you get it on film?”

00:21:29

Eeka 

Guest

All I imagine, knowing Eli, is he’s just chilling in his chair like, “Ohhhh!” Like, he just went over, y’know? Like—

[Biz laughs.] 

And so they’re like, “He’s okay! He’s got some scratches on his nose, but he didn’t even react!” I’m like, “Eli is one of three. He is constantly beating on Evan and Ella’s asses! You can take his toy and he’s like, ‘Finish him!’” Y’know? So I was like, “I’m sure he’s fine.” “Well we’re so sorry!” I’m like, “Okay. If anything—” Y’know, obviously I knew if anything serious had happened, they would’ve already called 911. But Eli—I’m like, “You guys got the wrong kids. My kids are made of tough stock, so.”

[Biz laughs.] 

But [through laughter] trying not to laugh? Because I’m like—that aide must have felt so bad! 

00:22:13

Biz 

Host

Oh, so bad on their first day.

00:22:15

Crosstalk

Crosstalk

Eeka: The horror of watching a disabled—

Biz: I can’t. 

00:22:18

Eeka 

Guest

But Eli, he didn’t even react! I’m like, “I bet he was laughing afterwards, knowing Eli.” He is just—he is just that person. That this is why Eli is just so fun. This is why I adore him. Like… he’s all about the rough and tumble. He’s all about getting in there. And my god, he’s changed my life in so many wonderful ways. Love him.

00:22:40

Biz 

Host

Alright. So. Okay. “They’ve changed my life in wonderful ways.” Okay. I—

00:22:44

Eeka 

Guest

Sometimes. Not all the time.

00:22:45

Biz 

Host

Sometimes. Thank you! This is what I’m looking for. Because I understand—

00:22:47

Eeka 

Guest

I drink because of my children. There’s a whole bottle of champagne in my fridge right now that says, “Eli, Evan, and Ella” on it. [Laughs.] 

00:22:54

Biz 

Host

I really appreciate—

00:22:55

Eeka 

Guest

And the dogs and the cat.

00:22:56

Biz 

Host

—that your go-to is champagne. [Laughs.] That just makes me wanna buy it.

00:22:59

Eeka 

Guest

It makes me feel fancy! Y’know?

00:23:01

Biz 

Host

Oh, that’s important! That’s important to feel fancy!

00:23:04

Eeka 

Guest

I’m stressed out, but here I am with a fancy glass.

00:23:07

Biz 

Host

Yes! No, you have to have the fancy glass, too! But you have not like… made choices that, like… said, “Y’know what? This is gonna be really easy.” [Laughs.] 

00:23:19

Eeka 

Guest

I have always taken the hard road in life. I am that asshole. And I always tell myself—I’m like, “You can’t even be mad! You did this to yourself!” [Laughs.] 

00:23:30

Biz 

Host

Yeah, you can’t be! 

00:23:31

Crosstalk

Crosstalk

Biz: This show is all about, “You can also be a little mad.”

Eeka: I just made some weird fucking choices—

00:23:36

Eeka 

Guest

—and I don’t know—like, I think, y’know, the cocky side of me is like, “’Cause I’m ballsy!” Um, but then the intelligent side of me is like, “No, you are just an idiot.” I mean, that’s how I made the choice—I don’t know if you know—I donated a kidney in 2015? 

[Biz laughs.] 

Like, literally I knew this other mom. She fostered medical kids, and she’s like, “My kids need a kidney!” I’m like, “I got an extra kidney. Let’s do it!”

00:23:59

Biz 

Host

Let’s do it!

00:24:00

Eeka 

Guest

And that was it! That was it. That was me. I fucking—I like went through all this testing. She’s like, “Eeka, you don’t know how hard it is! It’s so hard to become a donor!” I was like, “Shh! Let the big girls handle it, okay?”

[Biz laughs.] 

And I went through the whole process. It was insane. And then I was passed by a board? A whole board of people looked at all my junk, y’know, and I was like, “That’s me. Those are my titties right there. Okay. That’s all me right there.” 

00:24:25

Crosstalk

Crosstalk

Biz: Be careful! Be careful—gay kidney! Gay kidney coming your way! [Laughs.] 

Eeka: They looked at everything! And—yeah! 

00:24:30

Eeka 

Guest

I went into an operating room one day and I let them, y’know, hack out a organ. Best nap I ever had.

00:24:36

Biz 

Host

Oh, I know. Isn’t it—surgery’s so lovely. For the parent. So this is kind of one of those dumb questions that I feel like I’ve already answered in my own brain—when it comes to… rights. And acceptance. And… where we are succeeding and where we are behind, the difference between LGBTQ advocacy—awareness, rights, protections—and special needs—is it easier for people to get behind special needs than—I mean, is like one… lacking more than the other? I mean, I’m gonna say “yes.” No one in Florida is saying you can’t have autism. [Laughs.] 

00:25:17

Eeka 

Guest

No, but when we lived in Texas, I do remember them cutting therapy for disabled children. [Laughs.] So I mean, it just—it happens in a different way. The lack of support, the attacks happen in a different way. I think when we’re talking about the LGBTQ+ community versus the disabilities community? I think both get the short end of the stick in any given situation. But I think with LGBTQ+, it’s the LGBTQ+ youth who are facing the toughest challenge right now. We have all these anti-trans bills, especially the one that just came out in Texas. These are leveled at LGBTQ+ youth. These are leveled at children. To the point where we’ve got—what is that idiot? Abbott, in Texas? That jackass. He’s over there saying, y’know, “I’m sending this to CPS. These are child abuse calls.” I mean, literally—that’s very serious allegations. I work for—I worked for Child Protective Services for quite a while. And to take somebody’s child is not a joke. That is no laughing matter. And so I’m absolutely disgusted. I mean, I shouldn’t be shocked when Texas had that [inaudible] and was out in Cancun with the drink in his hand. Little drink. But yeah. I think that when I look at—the biggest challenges faced by the LGBTQ+ community right now, it’s gonna be the youth. Especially trans youth. And when we’re looking at the disabilities community—

00:26:42

Crosstalk

Crosstalk

Biz: Yeah, what are their biggest challenges:

Eeka: I think it’s going to be—

00:26:44

Eeka 

Guest

A severe lack in support and services for individuals and families. So it’s—I mean… we are just over here doing our thing. [Laughs.] 

00:26:54

Crosstalk

Crosstalk

Biz: Yeah, but it’s hard to do your thing when the resources aren’t there! 

Eeka: We got a little of everything!

00:26:59

Biz 

Host

Because you’ve got—

00:27:00

Eeka 

Guest

And don’t forget, it’s a single-parent family! 

00:27:02

Crosstalk

Crosstalk

Eeka: So now you’re seeing the financial side of it. It’s just me!
 

Biz: Yeah! And you’re a single parent! Tick, tick, tick, tick!

00:27:06

Biz 

Host

You just—you clearly got a weird bucket list.

00:27:09

Eeka 

Guest

I am here. Yeah. 

[Biz laughs.] 

Eeka joined the chat. 

00:27:14

Biz 

Host

But—yeah! 

00:27:16

Crosstalk

Crosstalk

Eeka: Alone. [Inaudible.]

Biz: See, you gotta laugh. It’s okay. 

00:27:19

Biz 

Host

Given the challenges facing these two groups, what do you think is something that you’ve seen working? That people can… support or help or get involved in. 

00:27:34

Eeka 

Guest

I mean, it just depends. It can be something as simple as educating yourself or those around you to protesting to ensuring that you vote correctly. “Correctly” is the key word there, y’all! For those listening. Y’know, you’re making your voice heard. Writing letters. I mean, there’s a lot of things that can be done. I think that what we miss a lot of times is the support on a human level? [Laughs.] I tell people I cry every single day. And I’m not joking! People are like, “Oh, Eeka—you—” And I’m like, “I don’t know why you think I’m joking! I’m dead-ass serious right now! I cry every single day.” I think it’s just coming—just being less of a, y’know, garbage… dumpster fire of a human. I feel is a great start.

00:28:19

Biz 

Host

That would be a really big help. Yeah.

00:28:21

Eeka 

Guest

If you see a parent with an LGBTQ+ child, don’t talk some shit. Don’t say something stupid! 

[Biz laughs.] 

Like—

00:28:31

Biz 

Host

It’s 90% of our advice on this show, is, “Y’know what? No matter where it’s coming from?”

00:28:37

Eeka 

Guest

Think before you say something!

00:28:40

Biz 

Host

It’s just sometimes not helpful.

00:28:42

Eeka 

Guest

I mean, I think that with—and then with Eli, when you look at the disabilities community, like Eli—there’s a lot of things people don’t know. Like Eli’s teeth are, y’know, he’s got some teeth issues when it comes to how they’re shaping? But actually literally no cavities. Like, I bust my tail. And with a child like Eli, what people don’t realize is a lot of these kids have massive teeth issues because medication. They pouch food. They pouch medication. There’s a lot of sugar that sits in their teeth. Blah, blah, blah. But Eli’s teeth are just growing in and right now because he’s just a small little tinker tot? Like, his body’s not big. Which is very common for kids with CP. His teeth are just very large in his mouth. And I said to his dentist, I was like, “Why is he growing barn doors?” Y’know. But I’m his parent! I can say that! And he’s like, oh, my dentist was just like, “Don’t worry. Don’t worry. He’s gonna grow into them.” I was like, “Is that what I looked like as a kid? No wonder my parents were concerned!” And then y’know—but like, you have people like—you just—I joke about it ‘cause they’re my kids, but I have somebody on social media like, “What’s wrong with its teeth?” I was like, “There was a better way to go about that.”

00:29:46

Crosstalk

Crosstalk

Biz: Wow. Did they say “its teeth?!” Nice.

Eeka: Like, yep! I was like—yeah. 

00:29:49

Eeka 

Guest

My kids get called “it.” Evan and Eli get called “its.” Primarily Evan a lot. “Its.” What is “It” doing. 

00:29:55

Biz 

Host

What the fuck is that about?

00:29:57

Eeka 

Guest

Why is it wearing a dress.

00:29:58

Biz 

Host

I’m sorry. Wait a second. Hold on. 

00:30:00

Eeka 

Guest

Oh, you don’t wanna hear the hate.

00:30:03

Biz 

Host

No, I don’t need to hear the hate. I am—I am sure—well that’s—actually, I wanna wrap up on that! You’ve—you and your family have made a choice to be very public with everything. With your experiences. Which… is a gift. Because I think one of the things that people struggle with the most is feeling like they are the only one. 

00:30:29

Eeka 

Guest

Yeah. That’s what I think as well. I made the choice to share our lives and it’s very organic. Y’know. You don’t see my kids acting or—people are always just like, “Oh, you’re forcing it. This is not—” I’m like, “There’s no—if I could force my kids to do anything would be behave and listen, and they’re not doing that. I can guarantee you.” But I made the decision because I felt really fucking alone. I felt a very alone? And I thought, “Oh my god, how are we—how am I gonna make it through this? What am I gonna do?” And then just kinda putting it out there? Just—it’s this—it feels very free. And I think that’s what my kids feel with it, too. Y’know?

00:31:08

Biz 

Host

Yeah! No, I—the more we can normalize all the things that we’re told not to normalize or not to talk about, again, whether that is disabilities. Whether that is how we feel as parents. Whether—or as women or as whatever? Then the—we steal the power away of the—of people who wanna hate on it. So you’ve done this. You’ve put it out there. Obviously, as you just hinted to, there’ve been some relatively not-so-nice people. “It”?! What the actual fuck! But I—what’s been the support? What have you—talk to me some about the positive of doing this. Like… you’ve gotta be helping people feel less… alone. And I hope they’re reaching out and telling you that.

00:32:00

Eeka 

Guest

Oh, yeah, yeah! I do. We do get messages, DMs, emails from people just thanking us? For being who we are? And I mean… I look at how backwards our society is. I’m like, “Damn, we have to thank people for being who they are?” It’s just kinda the same thing like being on social media, the first thing you’re gonna hear out of most content creators’ mouths is when it comes to the hate and stuff, “Oh, well that comes with it.” And I’m like, “Oh, god, how backwards is that thinking?”

00:32:27

Biz 

Host

Are we that we have to like—yeah! 

00:32:29

Eeka 

Guest

Oh, society. We’re so cute. 

00:32:32

Biz  

Host

Yeah. 

00:32:33

Eeka 

Guest

Aww.

00:32:35

Biz 

Host

I guess I just have to be called X, Y, and Z. I know. It’s just—it’s disappointing and it’s angering. And… do you just… how do you manage that? I mean… how do you manage that?

00:32:48

Eeka 

Guest

Manage the hate?

00:32:50

Biz 

Host

I mean, like, just for yourself! I mean like, that shit’s coming at you all the time, on top of already being like just a tired person in the world because there are kids in your house. I’m gonna go back to that very—we’re gonna end on the very first question I asked you, which is—how are you? 

00:33:06

Eeka 

Guest

Um, I mean… I have better days and just real shitty days. I would say—[sighs]. I try to be very honest and authentic with our viewers and I share the small moments in the day. The small moments in our lives that I hold onto. I post what brings me joy, so that’s what you’re seeing. Because whether this platform lasts, whether, y’know, World War III starts tomorrow or whatever, I can look back at these. These are our memories and these things make me happy and this is what I have to hold onto, whether people support us or don’t support us. Whether we have the large following or we don’t have a large following. But it’s funny ‘cause I have to do this campaign and I talked to the person who’s the rep for the brand. And I was like, “Trying to figure out how to do this and this is not—” She’s like, “Just share your self-care!” And I was like, “Oh, you’re cute.” 

00:33:54

Biz 

Host

Oh, that’s adorable.

00:33:55

Eeka 

Guest

There’s no self-care happening. “Oh, share this!” And I was like, “I’m gonna be really straightforward with you. In a home like ours and a family like ours? There are far more lows than there are highs.” And it’s… I don’t know any other life but this? So y’know, I think that’s what helps me kinda just continue to maintain but ultimately like I’m honest with people. I cry probably pretty much every single day. Depends on what it’s about. It’s about—I mean, just the other day I was actually crying about my dead dog. So it’s not always the kids. But I mean that’s what triggers it, but then a lot of the processing takes place and I’m like, “Oh my god!”

00:34:33

Crosstalk

Crosstalk

Eeka: “I’m just not over being [inaudible] in the third grade!”

Biz: When are you supposed to have time—I know! 

00:34:38

Biz 

Host

When are you supposed to process when you’ve got kids in your house? I mean like… there’s no… like, it’s always—something’s always triggering something. From somewhere.

00:34:46

Eeka 

Guest

It is. And I mean, honestly, I just do my best to focus on the small moments in the day. Where life isn’t just total garbage. But… y’know. Or just—it’s not hard. But I am. I am exhausted. It absolutely affects my mental health and my well-being. It affects my emotional well-being, doing what I do. But goddammit, I look at their faces or—today was the first good morning—like good morning. There were no tantrums. There were no breakdowns. Nobody assaulted me. Y’know. Nothing happened. And I called my best friend ‘cause she listens to me every morning like, “Son of a bitch! Aaah! Aah!” I’m screaming one minute and then I’m like crying the next minute and then I’m like, “I’m okay. I’m okay.” Then a second later I’m not okay. But this morning was… the first good morning we’ve had—I don’t know—in like… eight months? Where it was just… 

00:35:46

Biz 

Host

Okay.

00:35:48

Eeka 

Guest

And when I say “good” I’m like—it doesn’t mean something great happened. It just means nothing horrible happened. I feel like I am living life on the edge every single day and it scares me because I’m like I have these tiny humans that rely on me and they need me and I have to be okay, but I’m usually not okay. [Laughs.] 

[Biz laughs.] 

Therapy works, you guys! Just putting that out there!

00:36:11

Crosstalk

Crosstalk

Biz: That’s all I’m thinking about!

Eeka: [Inaudible] is okay!

00:36:15

Biz 

Host

I’m like, are you seeing someone? [Laughs.] 

00:36:18

Eeka 

Guest

[Through laughter] Oh, are we. Okay. That’s—that’s just how it is. But that’s the truth!

00:36:24

Biz 

Host

Yeah. No, we like the truth. The truth is good. The truth is good. Well, thank you for joining us and sharing just—I mean these are just little tips of iceberg-y parts of what your life is. And I appreciate you coming and talking to us about it. And we will make sure that we link everyone up to where they can find you on TikTok, Instagram, Twitter—all of the places. And you are doing a really great job, Eeka. You’re doing a good job. And I fucking see you. 

00:36:58

Eeka 

Guest

Oh, thank you. I’m here. [Laughs.] 

00:37:00

Biz 

Host

Yeah. That—that’s what I see. You. Sitting right there. Thank you so much! Bye! [Laughs.] 

00:37:07

Eeka 

Guest

Thank you so much for having me! Have a good one, y’all!

00:37:09

Music

Music

“Ones and Zeroes” by “Awesome.” Steady, driving electric guitar with drum and woodwinds.

[Music fades out.]

00:37:26

Music

Promo

Cheerful ukulele with whistling plays in background.

00:37:27

Biz 

Promo

One Bad Mother is supported in part by Bombas. Bombas’s mission is simple: make the most comfortable clothes ever and match every item sold with an equal item donated. So when you buy Bombas? You are also giving to someone in need. And I think this just speaks so much to the One Bad Mother community. Bombas designed their socks, shirts, and underwear to be the clothes you can’t wait to put on every day. Everything they make is soft, seamless, tagless, and has a luxuriously cozy feel. There’s a pair of Bombas socks for everything you do. They come in a ton of options, like comfy performance styles for every sport and activity that keeps you moving. And I love the styles! They are always coming out with fun, new styles. Again, some of my favorite were their LGBTQ Pride socks! You can go to Bombas.com/badmother and get 20% off your first purchase. That’s B-O-M-B-A-S.com/badmother for 20% off. Bombas.com/badmother. 

[Music fades out.]

00:38:38

Theresa

Host

Hey, you know what it’s time for! This week’s genius and fails! This is the part of the show where we share our genius moment of the week, as well as our failures, and feel better about ourselves by hearing yours. You can share some of your own by calling 206-350-9485. That’s 206-350-9485.

00:38:57

Biz 

Host

Genius fail time. Genius me, me!

00:39:00

Clip

Clip

[Dramatic, swelling music in background.]

Biz: Wow! Oh my God! Oh my God! I saw what you did! Oh my God! I’m paying attention! Wow! You, mom, are a genius. Oh my God, that’s fucking genius!

00:39:14

Biz 

Host

Okay. I went to a cat café today, guys! That was the greatest thing I’ve ever done. Those were some socialized cats, and I just sat there and they just were so pettable and lovable. And it was wonderful. I may have to do that more than once. It was great. I am so smart. [Laughs.] 

00:39:41

Caller

Caller

[Answering machine beeps.] 

Hi, One Bad Mother! This is a genius. I don’t know if you remember worry dolls, but they’re like little teeny-tiny dolls that look like they’re made out of a matchstick. Anyway. My son brought one home from school that he’d made using a clothespin. And it’s just a clothespin wrapped in embroidery thread. And I told my kids what a worry doll is for. You tell your worry doll about something you’re worried about, and then you don’t have to think about it anymore. It’s—the worry doll is thinking about it for you, and you no longer need to carry that worry with you. I think in these modern times, there’s all the worries that everyone has. We could all use probably a dozen worry dolls. And so it’s genius. We’re gonna make some more and maybe we’ll give ‘em to some friends. I don’t even know if this is really what you’re supposed to do with worry dolls? It just sounds good to me. So I’m doing a great job. You’re doing a great job. Make a bunch of worry dolls. Have a great day! Bye! 

00:40:51

Biz 

Host

I… love this idea. I think, y’know, not all kids. But a lot of kids do respond to that. I mean, it’s the—y’know, Raiden came home once with a dream catcher and wound up giving it to Ellis and that really helped Ellis with their sleep. Thinking that, y’know, the idea that bad dreams get caught by the dream catcher. Worry dolls. Or worry stones. We have worry stones in the house that you just rub? And then they get differently shaped and, y’know, they’re pretty cool. But worry dolls are really good! I love the idea of giving your kids and yourself—all of us—a place to put those worries! I just think it’s so smart! And it’s a good, fun, easy activity. Just wrapping string around a matchstick or a toothpick or a clothespin or anything. I just think that’s genius. You’re doing a very good job. Failures.

00:41:49

Clip

Clip

[Dramatic orchestral music plays in the background.]

Theresa: [In a voice akin to the Wicked Witch of the West] Fail. Fail. Fail. FAIL!

[Timpani with foot pedal engaged for humorous effect.]

Biz: [Calmly] You suck!

00:41:55

Biz 

Host

Fail me, me. Okay. So we have not gone in to like help Ellis… clean his room in a very long time. Okay? I just walked away from Ellis’s room a while ago. I just was like—it’s so stressful in here. There are Legos everywhere. There are Bakugans everywhere. There are various tops and spinning warriors. Beyblades. And books. I mean, they’re all things that Ellis is playing with at all times. So we eventually just were like, alright. But this kid—this is just this kid’s room. And I recently was reading—Ellis has started reading to me at night, which is great. He reads all the Dog Man comic books to me, which are a delight. And I’ve noticed dust balls drifting—drifting down. [Laughs.] Drifting down. Past my face. In the middle of a story. And not just like one, but many. And I was like, “Yeah, okay. Maybe we should clean.” And then with the idea of us getting a cat, I was like, “We gotta clean the room.” And I finally went in and did it. And I know you’re like, “Biz, where’s the fail in that?” Well… A, that I was doing it. Great. Way to raise a man [through laughter] in society expecting his mother to clean it. But it was so gross, guys. There was—it was like—the window seals, the blinds, the—just… on things that hang from Ellis’s ceiling? Like different papier-mache things he’s made? There—it was… so dusty! And disgusting. And I was like, “My child’s been sleeping in this for a while.” So I didn’t feel good about that. And now it’s beautifullll! That room is so clean. [Laughs.] 

00:43:59

Caller

Caller

[Answering machine beeps.] 

I have a fail. My minivan has been in the body shop for almost three months. And I guess I was in a really big hurry when I dropped it off, because I picked it up today and you know they did a really nice job detailing the inside of my minivan. I have a four-year-old and two-year-old, by the way, so there was no shortage of crumbs. And it’s really clean! But in my center console is a box of underwear. [Laughs.] 

[Biz laughs.] 

And an un—well, it’s an opened box, but there are four out of five underwear still in it. And it’s just sitting in my center console! So I’m gonna go ahead and say this is a fail for leaving undergarments in a—I guess a public—I don’t know. But I suck.

[Biz laughs.] 

And I cannot stop laughing ‘cause it is just so fucking funny that the people that have been fixing my car for the last three months have just been staring at this box of underwear! [Laughs.] Ohh, I suck.

[Biz laughs.] 

Bye.

00:45:05

Biz 

Host

Oh… my gosh. I love this fail. I mean, there’s like—there’s an air of mystery about it. There’s a pack. One of which is missing. And it’s in your car. So like it leads to questions like, did you need to access the one? Like, while in the car? Did you—were you like, “Y’know what? I’m gonna go in. I’ve got new underwear. This is great. But I’m just gonna take one.” Like, there’s a lot to the story of how a box of underwear with one taken, but it’s all still in your car. Except for the one. Is sitting there. And also, the car was there for a while. So you didn’t miss the new underwear that you needed. And then there is just the idea that yeah. Did they—somebody had to pick that box up at some point in time and move it around your car while they were detailing the car. So that’s… it’s probably not the worst thing? Somebody has found in a car? That they’re working on? But it definitely—like, every time you wear that underwear, you’re gonna know that that underwear has been seen. In your car. By strangers. [Laughs.] Maybe that makes it all the more exciting. Well, you’re failing at underpants, whatever that means.

00:46:36

Music

Music

“Mom Song” by Adira Amram. Mellow piano music with lyrics.

You are the greatest mom I’ve ever known.

I love you, I love you.

When I have a problem, I call you on the phone.

I love you, I love you.

[Music fades out.]

00:46:59

Promo

Clip

Music: Exciting, upbeat piano.

J. Keith van Straaten: Most gameshows quiz contestants about topics they don’t even care about.

Helen Hong: But for 100 episodes, the Go Fact Yourself podcast has asked celebrity guests trivia about topics they choose for themselves.

J. Keith: And introduced them to some of their personal heroes along the way.

Speaker 1: Oh my gosh!

Speaker 2: Shut up! [Laughs.]

Speaker 3: Oh! I feel like I’m gonna cry!

Speaker 4: Oh, my sta-a-a-rs!

Speaker 5: I’m so—I’m so excited to meet you.

J. Keith: Join me, J. Keith van Straaten.

Helen: And me! Helen Hong! Along with special guests DJ Jazzy Jeff and Faith Salie, plus some amazing surprise experts on the 100^th episode of Go Fact Yourself.

J. Keith: And join us twice a month every month for new episodes of Go Fact Yourself here, on Maximum Fun.

[Music ends.]

00:47:44

Promo

Clip

Music: Mellow guitar plays in the background. 

James Arthur M.: Hi, Maximum Fun! It’s me, James Arthur M., from Minority Korner. Okay. We got some good news and I got some bad news. Bad news? Minority Korner, after 7 years and 340 episodes, we are wrapping up our show.

Crowd: Boooo!

James Arthur: I know, I know, but hey—good news! Good news is that means we must have solved racism and homophobia and sexism—

Crowd: [Cheers and applauds.]

James Arthur: —and equality and equity for all! Yayyy! No. No, we didn’t. Well, I’d like to think at least that we are better off than when we started seven years ago. So. Don’t worry. We might be saying goodbye, but our episodes will live on in the podcast airwaves [deep echo] for… ev… er. [Regular voice] Or until the internet crashes and burns. Whatever comes first. Minority Korner—the final episodes, right here on Maximum Fun or wherever you get your podcasts. Minority Korner—because together, we’re the majority. 

00:48:33

Biz 

Host

Alright, everybody. It’s time to snuggle up with a cat, a dog, or your children with headphones on—or—or to hide in the bathroom. And listen to a mom have a breakdown. 

00:48:51

Caller

Caller

[Answering machine beeps.] 

Oh, guys. This one’s a rant. So we moved into our house three years ago. And it came with an ensuite shower that is just… it’s my heaven. It’s got one of those rainfall shower heads. It’s beautiful. There’s plants. There’s lots of natural light. It’s the place at the end of the day where I can be quiet and no one bothers me and I reset my brain and I just stand there in the hot rain shower—

[Biz laughs.] 

—and it is so good! And… then the floor of the shower needs to be repaired. So now I’m back to sharing a shower-slash-tub with my children, who are six and three. And there’s toys everywhere. There’s toys. There’s a million bottles of bubble soap. Why did I buy so much bubble bath?

[Biz laughs.] 

And every time I go to take a shower at the end of the day, when I would like to relax and be calm and be an adult who—just me! Just me! Not “mom,” just me. And I have to then spend at least ten minutes clearing out the kids’ stuff from my space and making it an adult space, which only lasts the duration of my shower ‘cause that’s actually their bathroom! And I’m just borrowing it. And I just… I didn’t realize how much it was affecting me to not have my space available to me anymore! And that sucks! It sucks! I can’t afford to get my shower repaired yet. And there’s just no reason to put myself in debt to do that just because I want it. So now—now I’m just gonna be sharing a shower with my kids indefinitely. [Sighs.] Thanks for the show, guys. 

00:51:00

Biz 

Host

Yeah. First of all, you’re doing a really good job. ‘K? I gotta tell ya—again—there’s nowhere in a book out there where somebody’s like, “Okay. Somewhere along the line in your parenting, you’re gonna lose the space that was once yours. You’re gonna lose it to your children. And whether it’s just that the—” And y’know what, during the pandemic I think this happened to the Nth degree, given that we had to start working from home and then all spaces became sort of open to stuff that isn’t normally there. Right? Like… there’s… for me, it was like the den. The—we don’t have a big house. And so the den is just this nice little place where I didn’t wanna look at toys. I didn’t wanna look at like kids’ books or—I just wanted this adult space. 

And… it sucks, because it was your bathroom and it started out as your space, and a space that you knew would be just yours. And now you have to share their space. And it takes a psychological toll that even your private alone time is filled with the noise of… things. The noise of your kids’ things. And then you do—and you’re really tired and you’re really just done and you need that moment to like refill your bucket or empty your bucket. However you say it. However the metaphor works for you. And… you’re just surrounded by these things that remind you that your Self-ness is… is in jeopardy! Is not yours! 

I mean, it goes from like, y’know, little kids in the house. Your body is not yours. Then you get your body back, and then your space is not yours. And then your car is not yours or your clothes are not yours. I mean, like, that is a real feeling experience that you are having. And… I—[sighs.] I’m with you on the costs of having to repair and is it worth it. Is it not worth it. And I know that’s not an easy question to answer, but maybe you could turn that tub into like… like, put some pillows in there? [Laughs.] Like, in the tub and some candles and stuff? And you can use that space more as like a spa-like environment. Not a place to bathe or shower, but a place to just sit. Quietly. I encourage you to find a way to repurpose that room as a sanctuary for yourself. And in the meantime, I just want you to know that I see you and I’m—it sucks when these things suddenly take on new significance. That can really catch us off-guard. And I just think you’re doing a great job. You’re doing a great job.

00:54:06

Biz 

Host

Everybody, you’re all doing a really great job. Listening to Eeka openly talk about crying every day, I think, is just truly a gift. It is exhausting having kids in your house. And that is just such its own thing on top of all the other things that you’ve got to do. Work. Other family or friend obligations and responsibilities. The day-to-day things that we have to do to be human like go to the store, take our medicine, make appointments, get from A to B, figure out transportation. It’s a lot. And I just want you to know that you really are doing a remarkable job? And that you’re not alone. And I’ll talk to you guys next week. Bye!

00:55:00

Music

Music

“Mama Blues” by Cornbread Ted and the Butterbeans. Strumming acoustic guitar with harmonica and lyrics.

I got the lowdown momma blues

Got the the lowdown momma blues

Gots the lowdown momma blues

The lowdown momma blues. 

Gots the lowdown momma blues

Got the lowdown momma blues

You know that’s right.

[Music fades.]

00:55:23

Biz 

Host

We’d like to thank MaxFun; our producer, Gabe Mara; our husbands, Stefan Lawrence and Jesse Thorn; our perfect children, who provide us with inspiration to say all these horrible things; and of course, you, our listeners. To find out more about the songs you heard on today’s podcast and more about the show, please go to MaximumFun.org/onebadmother. For information about live shows, our book and press, please check out OneBadMotherPodcast.com.

00:55:53

Theresa

Host

One Bad Mother is a member of the Maximum Fun family of podcasts. To support the show go to MaximumFun.org/join.

[Music resumes for a while before fading out.]

00:56:16

Music

Transition

A cheerful ukulele chord.

00:56:17

Speaker 1

Guest

MaximumFun.org.

00:56:19

Speaker 2

Guest

Comedy and culture.

00:56:20

Speaker 3

Guest

Artist owned—

00:56:21

Speaker 4

Guest

—Audience supported.