TRANSCRIPT One Bad Mother Episode 426: If You Need Me, I’ll Be Playing With Legos, with Natalie Cleveland

00:00:00

Biz Ellis

Host

Hi, One Bad Mother listeners. It’s me—Biz! [Singing] Would ya like to meet ya neighbors? Yes, ya would! [Regular voice] Guys, the network that our show is on—MaxFun—is throwing a virtual block party from now until October 22^nd, and you are invited! Woo-hoo! During Block Party, MaxFun shows are releasing episodes that are especially welcoming to new audiences. Like this one that you are listening to right now. So if you have been encouraging a friend to try out our show, this is the perfect episode to share with them. It’s also a great time to check out shows you’ve been curious about, since they’re releasing episodes geared towards new audience members, too. Block Party also has games, recommendations, a volunteer event, and a limited-edition poster and more! Find out more about all that fun stuff at MaximumFun.org/blockparty. Tell your friends, and definitely keep an ear out for the One Bad Mother/Just the Zoo Of Us Block Party episode. Good to know!

00:01:05

Biz 

Host

Hi. I’m Biz.

00:01:07

Theresa Thorn

Host

And I’m Theresa.

00:01:08

Biz 

Host

Due to the pandemic, we bring you One Bad Mother straight from our homes—including such interruptions as: children! Animal noises! And more! So let’s all get a little closer while we have to be so far apart. And remember—we are doing a good job.

00:01:26

Music

Music

“Summon the Rawk” by Kevin MacLeod. Driving electric guitar and heavy drums.

[Continues through dialogue.]

00:01:30

Biz 

Host

This week on One Bad Mother—if you need me, I’ll be playing with Legos. We get our brick on with Season 2 contestant of Lego Masters Natalie Cleveland. Plus, everything is coming up Lego for Biz! [Laughs.] 

00:01:43

Crosstalk

Crosstalk

Biz and caller: Woo!

00:01:44

Caller

Caller

I am calling with a woo! Because I somehow managed to leave my daughter’s library books on a bench in a park. After she had kindly asked that I hold them while she played in the water park. I put them down for a second and left them there. And by some miracle, they were there the next morning when I went to look.

[Biz laughs.]

So for me, that’s a woo. You’re all doing a good job and thanks very much. Bye. 

00:02:14

Biz 

Host

First of all, you’re doing a very good job. And I really like the idea that there is surprise that the library books would still be there. Because I mean—[Laughs.] “Ooh! Somebody left something! Alright! Ah, it’s book. Boo. Somebody just—aw, they’re library books. I think just by taking these library books it makes us responsible for these. Oh! Run! Everybody run!” Yeah. That’s—it’s a check-in. Kudos to your parenting skills that made it so that your child didn’t want to take those library books into the splash area. Like, because that is a thing that can happen. Instead, was thoughtful enough to ask you—I’m gonna with they actually asked you and didn’t just throw them at you and run off and you’re doing  some creative retelling. [Laughs.] Of the story. I think it sounds like you’re doing an excellent—you’re doing—you’re doing such a good job. Who has time to remember where you put the books? You can’t remember where you put the books. What did we all agree on? That being really tired means we’re doing a really good job? I’m going to add being really forgetful also means that we are too focused on really great parenting choices. You are doing an amazing job. And good job using your library. Boop boop boop booo! Yay, libraries! There’s no better idea than a library to take us right into thank-you’s. 

00:03:46

Music

Music

Heavy electric guitar and driving percussion overlaid with “Ohh, oh-oh, oh-oh” and “Hey-ey-ey-ey-ey-ey” lyrics.

00:04:00

Biz 

Host

Thank you, libraries! I love you. My parents have just moved here and they just made it up to our favorite library and they liked it. They got their library cards. That made me very happy. So once again, thank you, libraries, for being a space that every member of your family can enjoy. Thank you, libraries, and librarians. Thank you, teachers. School is still happening and that is because you keep showing up. And I just wanna like—from deep down, like, a belly—like, a deep gut belly thank you. That is how I’m feeling about you all the time. And the same goes for school administration. You know what? Whether you want to or not, you are sometimes where frustrated parents focus their frustrations. [Laughs.] And it’s not probably appropriate all the time, but I just want you to know that you’re doing a great job. And I appreciate that you put up with it. [Laughs.] I’m sure you have a dartboard somewhere with my picture on it. 

Doctors, nurses, medical employees, dermatologists? Hello, I just went to one. I’m very thankful that you were there. Everybody in the medical profession, thank you for continuing to show up. I really see you. And we are not making it easy for you and I’m very sorry. And I hope that we will all continue to get vaccinated so that you can go back to some form of a normal life. Whatever that is. Y’know. Maybe just one that involves sleep? Regular schedules. [Laughs.] Being allowed to focus on the things that you really specialize in and love, versus everything being a fire. So thank you very much. 

And as always, thank you to those of you who are out there giving us vaccines. I’m still thoroughly enjoying my microchip. And I’m very eager for the day that my seven-year-old can get their chip. And then we’re like a matching family set of chipped individuals who can be a little less worried about getting sick with the COVID. How are they gonna find you, if you have the COVID, without the chip? Come on, guys! It makes total sense!

What also makes total sense is Legos. I just returned from a two-day Mama/Ellis Legoland—I don’t know what I was thinking. Guys? We’ve taken zero risk. [Laughs.] Since this whole pandemic started. And for whatever reason I was like, “Oh, yeah, we should go to Legoland. Just you and me, kid who’s not vaccinated.” But I will say that it went really well. We went on a Monday/Tuesday so there was hardly anybody there and everything was outside and of course we wore our masks and a lot of people were also wearing masks and we were just very mindful. So it really wound up being fun. And we did the Lego rides. We did a lot of Lego shopping and looking and ogling. And we even—Ellis, like, going in already knew that when we got there we would be able to see one of his favorite creations from Lego Masters Season 1, which was—I believe—the monkey and the feather. That—and we did! And we saw it! And there it was! And it was really exiting. So Lego, Lego, Legos. [Laughs.] Legos are everywhere. And it all ties in really well, because we are about to speak with Natalie Cleveland, from Season 2 of Fox’s Lego Masters. Have I mentioned how much I love Gabe, our producer? This is such a fun guest!

00:07:56

Music

Music

Banjo strums; cheerful banjo music continues through dialogue.

00:07:57

Theresa

Host

Please—take a moment to remember: If you’re friends of the hosts of One Bad Mother, you should assume that when we talk about other moms, we’re talking about you.

00:08:05

Biz 

Host

If you are married to the host of One Bad Mother, we definitely are talking about you.

00:08:08

Theresa

Host

Nothing we say constitutes professional parenting advice.

00:08:11

Biz 

Host

Biz and Theresa’s children are brilliant, lovely, and exceedingly extraordinary.

00:08:15

Theresa

Host

Nothing said on this podcast about them implies otherwise.

[Banjo music fades out.] 

[Biz and Natalie repeatedly affirm each other as they discuss the weekly topic.]

00:08:20

Biz 

Host

This week, we are talking to Natalie Cleveland, who is a multifaceted creative talent. Fresh off of making it into the final four teams on Season 2 of Fox’s Lego Masters, Cleveland is also a pop music artist with multiple songs available on all digital outlets, garnering over 350,000 streams on Spotify. She is a songwriter, producer, video producer, and DIY renovation enthusiast. Welcome, Natalie! Woo, wooo!

00:08:47

Natalie Cleveland

Guest

Yayyy! Thanks for having me! 

[Biz laughs.] 

00:08:50

Biz 

Host

So excited! Guys, I’m geeking out. I’m totally fangirling at—I’m too old to use the word “fangirl”? But I’m gonna do it. 

[Natalie laughs.] 

I’m totally fangirling out, ‘cause that’s what the kids say. Before we get into it, I want to ask you who lives in your house. 

00:09:05

Natalie 

Guest

Yeah, yeah, yeah! So I’ve been married to my husband, Michael, for like… thirteen years now. And—

00:09:12

Biz 

Host

We just hit thirteen as well!

00:09:15

Natalie 

Guest

Yay! Um, thirteen years and, um, when we were—when I was 25 and he was 30, we decided to grow out family through adoption. And so we adopted two little girls at that time that were 4 and 5 that are biological sisters. And so it’s been eight years now, which is hard to believe. And we thought, “Cool! We’re done having kids. There’s two of them. Two of us. This is like man-on-man defense. We got this.” And then surprise! We found out we were pregnant!

[Biz laughs.] 

And I was like, “Okay. Alright.” So then we had to move to zone defense and we’ve been outnumbered ever since and there’s always glitter in our dryer, but—y’know. [Laughs.] 

00:09:57

Biz 

Host

Oh, I’m sorry. [Laughs.] Glitter is the worst.

00:09:59

Natalie 

Guest

It’s the worst! And it’s everywhere! Like—

00:10:01

Biz 

Host

It’s everywhere. Glitter is a curse and we’ve talked about it often on the show. That you just can’t let glitter into your house. Once you do—

00:10:10

Natalie 

Guest

It multiplies.

00:10:12

Biz 

Host

Yeah. It’ll never leave. Never leave.

00:10:14

Natalie 

Guest

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it always looks like you left the strip club with a bunch of—

00:10:18

Biz 

Host

It’s on your toddler’s eyes. You’re like—

[Natalie laughs.] 

“How did it—” Y’know, when you’re like, “Oh, that glitter. It’s so dangerously close to their eyeball!” 

00:10:26

Natalie 

Guest

Oh, I don’t know! But the chicken wings were good. I don’t know.

00:10:29

Biz 

Host

Yeah, but they were—[Laughs.] 

[Natalie laughs.] 

Alright. So if you adopted them when you were—you’re gonna do the math for me. How old are your—

00:10:36

Natalie 

Guest

Oh, I’m sorry. So now we are at—we have—we have fourteen, we have twelve, and we have six.

00:10:42

Biz 

Host

Okay. I have a twelve and I have a seven. And—but my twelve might as well be fourteen because at this age, that’s the joke I’m supposed to make. Ha, ha, ha! They’re already thirty. Um—

00:10:56

Natalie 

Guest

Oh my gosh. Middle school. It’s like…

00:10:58

Biz 

Host

Yeah! Middle school is real! 

00:11:00

Natalie 

Guest

You know, it was the worst for me? Like, going through it myself? Middle school is the worst for everybody. But then going through it as a parent, you’re like—with all the apps. With all the things. And the—I mean, it’s—it’s a nightmare. It’s a nightmare.

00:11:14

Biz 

Host

Not a fan. I don’t know about your—

[Biz laughs.] 

Yeah, I’m not a fan of that. So you have got a house full of children. That arrived there a variety of ways. So that is—congratulations that you’re still here. And—

00:11:26

Natalie 

Guest

Thanks! Yes. We are still making it. [Laughs.] 

00:11:28

Biz 

Host

So impressive! Alright. We are now gonna get into the fact that you are in Lego Masters Season 2. I gotta tell you—like I said—I’m geeking out. You guys—you and Michelle, you guys were our team. And—

00:11:47

Natalie 

Guest

Aww!

00:11:49

Biz 

Host

So Ellis dubbed you guys right away “The Paint Cans.” That is how—I know that you guys had, like, DIY Mom was the moniker that Lego gave you. But like—

[Biz laughs.] 

You guys, to us, were The Paint Cans from the very beginning. 

00:12:03

Natalie 

Guest

The Paint Cans! I thought you said “Pake Cans” and I’m thinking, “What are Pake Cans? What are Pake Cans?” I’m like, “Is this an acronym? What are Pake?” Paint Cans! Yes! Got it. [Laughs.] 

00:12:11

Biz 

Host

Paint Cans, ‘cause that was one of the sets you built. And so every—every episode, Ellis would be like, “Are the Paint Cans—the Paint Cans are still here, right? The Paint Cans!” And I’m like—and Stefan’s like, “They have names. It’s Natalie and it’s—” And I was like, “No, no. Paint Cans.” By the end, everybody was like, [chanting] “Paint Cans! Paint Cans! Paint Cans!” So we were very invested in the two of you. And I guess what I want to start with is… what was your relationship with Legos like before any of—before you did the show. Before—yeah. What was—

00:12:48

Natalie 

Guest

Yeah! So like—[Laughs.] You saying each week you’re like, “Oh, are the Paint Cans still there?” Like, legit that’s how I felt each episode. I’m like, “Are we still here?” 

[Biz laughs.] 

“Are we still—what are we doing?” So when we found out we were gonna be on this show, I legit thought we would be the first ones kicked off because I have the least amount of experience. I only took one week off of work, and so each time [through laughter] we kept advancing to the next round I’m calling my supervisor. “Um, so I need to take some more PTO…” Y’know. But yeah! So I guess to answer your question, my relationship with Lego bricks before the show was like, I had some as a kid. I played with them. I’ve always been creative. Like, I can build stuff. As a parent, I got back into Lego sets with the girls. Especially when they were four and five. We skipped the baby stage. We just jumped right in. We were 25 and 30. We don’t know what we’re doing. And I’m trying to figure out anything to do with them and connect with them. Y’know, when you go overnight from being able to do whatever you want, have dinner at whatever time you want, to then all of a sudden having these two human beings that are four and five and have tantrums—

[Biz laughs.] 

—and needs and their own thoughts and feelings? And y’know, I naively just assumed, like, probably like everybody. Before you have kids, you’re like, “I’ll never let my kids do that. I won’t let them behave that way.” And then it’s like… you become a parent and you’re like, “I’m not in control. I don’t know what I’m doing. Not at all.” So, y’know, we got some Lego sets back out to build with them. And y’know then our youngest came along and she loves to build with Lego. But I would say—what’s my relationship with it? Like, I’ve just built for fun with my kids as one of the many things that we’ve done together. I wouldn’t say that I’ve been like—like, I wouldn’t sit at home being like, “I’m a Lego Master!” It’s just like, “Oh, hey!”

[Biz laughs.] 

“What can we do today to get to know our kids a little bit more? And talk about their hopes and dreams and whatever.” So just kind of like… I feel kind of like the average person? 

00:14:50

Biz 

Host

How did you get involved in this, then? Because that’s a big leap!

00:14:54

Natalie 

Guest

Okay. So that’s the—that’s the weirdest thing.

[Biz laughs.] 

So like I said, I’ve always been creative and I’ve always been a fast learner and I enjoy building stuff. I enjoy doing like DIY stuff for fun. Or, y’know, ripping out a backsplash, putting it in. Or taking down a wall. And what—so I can do that kind of stuff. And we watched Season 1, like a lot of people during the pandemic. Loved it. Was super fun to watch with our kids. And my friend Michelle, we know each other from doing interior design stuff together. Just super self-taught. Which—y’know, work on projects together. We’d build doors and whatever. And so she called me up and was like, “Hey, did you watch Lego Masters?” I said, “Yes, totally!” She said, “Do you wanna apply and be my partner?” And I was like, “Sure! We’ll never get a call, but why the heck not?” Y’know? So we just filled out an online application and to our surprise got a call. Y’know, you had to like upload some of your, um, y’know, builds and kind of what you’ve done and blah, blah, blah. And then to our surprise we got a call. And so we were in the middle of a move. In the pandemic.

[Biz laughs.] 

Y’know.

00:15:55

Biz 

Host

Super relaxing.

00:15:56

Natalie 

Guest

And she calls, and is like, “Hey! Y’know, I just got a call and casting wants to hop on with us and do a Zoom interview! Are you available?” And I’m like, “Sure.” And I’m looking around. There’s boxes everywhere. And I’m like, “Let me find a wall that doesn’t have boxes stacked to the ceiling.” 

[Biz laughs.] 

And so—yeah. So each time we would talk with somebody I thought, “Well that was cool, but we’ll never heard back from them.” And then we would get another call that we made it through a round we didn’t even know we were in. And would have another call.

[Biz laughs.] 

So kind of in that process I’m like, “Y’know, I built stuff for fun with my kids but I should probably learn a few more techniques?” And so I just watched a million hours of YouTube to try and learn some more techniques. Stick ‘em in my back pocket and cross my fingers and thought we’d make it one episode and then we made it eleven out of the twelve. So what do I know.

00:16:42

Biz 

Host

Yeah! No! It’s—

[Natalie laughs.] 

That’s actually remarkable. And that actually makes me feel really good. ‘Cause when I think about like—when I watch the different, y’know, teams on the show, you think, “How—A, why aren’t they working for Lego already? And B, y’know, like… that’s… that’s some serious, like, you have to be an engineer, obviously. Or you have to have only—” Y’know, how do you go from sets to self-creation? And we’ve got—my husband is a—is a major Lego geek. We have—there are storage units. Storage units.

[Biz laughs.] 

And it’s like, y’know. I’m supportive. Because I like him. A lot.

00:17:27

Natalie 

Guest

Yeah. You’re gonna re-up that marriage contract each year. Yeah.

00:17:29

Biz 

Host

That’s right! I’m like, “All right.” Every year I’m like, “There are too many Legos!” And then Christmas comes and I’m like, “Here’s your Lego set!” [Laughs.] 

[Natalie laughs.] 

00:17:35

Natalie 

Guest

“Best wife ever, right?”

00:17:37

Biz 

Host

Best wife! That’s right. And then our youngest, Ellis, is also equally massive Lego head. Is that a—I don’t know. I don’t know if—he really liked Legos.

00:17:48

Natalie 

Guest

I mean, you can be a shoe head. You can be a Lego head. I like it.

00:17:51

Biz 

Host

Yeah. But I know that in our house, Stefan is meticulous. Every—when he breaks them back down, they go in bags and they go back in the set and all sets stay—a character is not gonna just be somewhere else. Right? Now Ellis—they are—their room is a carpet of Legos.

[Natalie laughs.] 

And I mean, I’m not even remotely joking.

00:18:16

Natalie 

Guest

Your poor feet. Your poor feet.

00:18:18

Biz 

Host

Yeah. No, it’s—if there’s a fire, we are doomed, Ellis! Right. Anyways. So—

[Natalie laughs.] 

And all sets are like off—off-limit. I mean, like, you’re gonna—it’s gonna be a dragon today and then next week that head is gonna be somewhere else and like—

00:18:34

Natalie 

Guest

It’s gonna be on like a rainbow kitty or something.

00:18:36

Biz 

Host

Yeah, exactly! Like, he’s the master of self—and so for us in the house, there was this kind of dark period of like, Stefan and I—me being like, “You need to understand. Ellis Legos differently. ‘K? Like, I need to know that you’re gonna be okay that we’ve lost control.”

[Natalie laughs.] 

“Of all Legos. When it comes to Ellis’s stuff.” And there’s some deep breathing and we got there. 

00:19:02

Natalie 

Guest

Yeah. Ours are all in just a big tub. Like, you know those big Rubbermaid tubs? 

00:19:06

Biz 

Host

Ours are like—yeah, where are your Legos?

00:19:08

Natalie 

Guest

Ours are just like dumped in those. Which is a cardinal sin for people that are really into it and, y’know, and I’m like like—I’m so sorry. This is how we live our life. [Laughs.] 

[Biz laughs.] 

00:19:20

Biz 

Host

It’s like part of your audition tape is just, “Here’s the Lego graveyard. Where—"

00:19:25

Natalie 

Guest

Just like, dumping out. Yeah. 

00:19:27

Biz 

Host

So on the show—I gotta ask. Is somebody’s job on the show just to clean up all those fucking Legos and stick ‘em back in their bins?

00:19:37

Natalie 

Guest

[Laughs.] Okay, yes! So there was a whole team that like after you build—you’re like rapidly snapping stuff together so fast. And like you think twelve hours is a lot of time and it is? But when it comes to Lego stuff, that is not a lot of time. Which is insane to me. But—so you’re just snapping stuff and things are flying left and right and it’s like you’re putting together Frankenstein and things are just flying. And so by the end of it you look around and you’re like, “Oh my gosh.” Like, the shrapnel damage of this Lego build is insane. And so there’s a whole team—as soon as it hits zero—that they come in with like bins and are loading stuff up. And then here I am—I’m like, “Oh, sorry! Let me help you!” I’m like crawling all over. I’m like, “This is terrible! This is embarrassing! I’m so sorry!” [Laughs.] And they’re like, “You’re fine! You’re fine!” And I’m like, “No, really, I feel bad!” 

[Biz laughs.] 

So yes. There is a team.

00:20:23

Biz 

Host

I just can’t like… yeah. No. I would imagine that the team working behind the scenes are just next-level meticulous. Pick it up. Put it where it needs to go and sort it out.

[Natalie laughs.] 

Okay. But I think back a second ago I was saying that it was inspiring that you didn’t actually come to this with a massive Lego background. Because I think that frees a lot of people up from thinking they have to be, like, y’know—

00:20:51

Natalie 

Guest

A pro before they do something? 

00:20:52

Biz 

Host

A pro—yes! A pro. I don’t know if you’ve met this generation of kids.

[Natalie laughs.] 

Or maybe they’re just my kids. But everybody thinks they’re supposed to just nail it right out the gate. And I’m like, wow.

00:21:01

Natalie 

Guest

Oh my gosh. And they’re supposed to know their career by the time they start middle school. And I’m like… good luck. I’m still trying to figure out what I’m gonna be as a grown-up. Yeah.

00:21:10

Biz 

Host

I know! Yeah. I’m still—my kids are like, “You’ve had a lot of jobs.” I’m like, “Yeah. Yeah, I have. You are correct.”

[Natalie laughs.] 

“That is an option.” 

00:21:19

Natalie 

Guest

Yes.

00:21:20

Biz 

Host

Okay. Two things here. One—

00:21:22

Natalie 

Guest

Okay. Two. Got it.

00:21:23

Biz 

Host

On the show we talk a lot about being a Self as a parent, and how that goes right out the door. No matter how much you would like to be a Self, there is a window that sometimes never closes in which you become “Mom.” Or “Dad.” Or “that one.” Or “give me the keys, old lady.” You become like—you’re no longer “Natalie, the creative artist.” Right? There’s just—it’s—

00:21:49

Natalie 

Guest

No, you’re just “Mom.”

00:21:51

Biz 

Host

Yeah. You’re just “Mom” and that is very—

00:21:53

Natalie 

Guest

And depending on your relationship with the word “Mom,” that’s either a treasure and a crown that you love, or you’re like, “Who am I? I don’t know how to wear pearls and heels and vacuum and make the lunches and the cupcakes and be the PTO mom!”

00:22:05

Biz 

Host

Yep. That’s our audience. [Laughs.] 

00:22:06

Natalie 

Guest

Yeah. Okay. Great.

00:22:08

Biz 

Host

Our audience is the one that’s like, “Wait a second. Wait a second. I was cool once and now what’s happening?”

00:22:13

Natalie 

Guest

And now I’m here. What am I? I don’t know.

00:22:15

Biz 

Host

Yeah. Now I’m here. So as a person who has spent a great deal of time thinking about this and how it relates to me, uh—[Laughs.] 

[Natalie laughs.] 

Everybody gets their little team name moniker, and you guys become the DIY Moms. And—

[Natalie laughs.]

It did feel a little bit like, y’know. Those old scripts where, like, every man has a name and then it’s “Woman 1.” Right?

[Natalie laughs.] 

It’s like, “Ben from the office. Frank from next door. Woman 1. Woman 2. Woman 3.” Right? So like… is it—like, I guess you guys were all—so this is what’s going in hand with question two. Which is—you guys received a really nice speech. About inspiring young girls. When it comes to Legos. And getting really nice to see the two of you on screen every week. If you are a—if you identify as female and you want to build Legos. Right? And so I just wondered—did you guys ever have a moment where you were thinking about, like, that sort of weird conflict there of being tagged the DIY Moms next to having the entire fate of [through laughter] female-identifying youngsters, putting it all on your shoulder to be the inspiration for them? [Laughs.] And you can say yes to both! 

[Natalie laughs.] 

00:23:39

Natalie 

Guest

Y’know, I—like, to be honest, going into it, I hadn’t thought about it at all. Like, I knew that my youngest, that’s six, when we watched Season 1, she loved watching Brickmaster Amy. And, y’know, like what I was saying whenever we got kicked off was a true, genuine moment. Like when we watched Season 1, my six-year-old looked at me and she said, “[Gasp.] Mom! She’s a girl! And she works at Lego!” And I was like, “Yeah!” And she goes, “I could work at Lego!” And I’m like, “Yeah, babe, you can do anything!” We are very big on like, “You can do whatever you wanna do.” And it’s super interesting to me that even in an environment where they’re constantly being told by mom and dad you can do anything you wanna do; you can be anything you wanna be—that there’s still this, like, mindset. And there’s still this, y’know, thing that somehow my six-year-old was surprised—

00:24:24

Biz 

Host

Subtle advertising! Subtle advertising!

00:24:28

Natalie 

Guest

Yes! She was surprised by the fact that Amy worked at Lego and that was like a big moment for her. Like, “She works at Lego! I can work at Lego!” And I was like, “Yeah, babe.” So, y’know, I was just thinking about that. Like, “That is so cool.” And of course my six-year-old’s like, “Tell Amy I said hi!” And I was like, “You got it. You got it!” 

00:24:44

Biz 

Host

By the way, my six-year-old wants me to tell you that he said hi. [Laughs.] 

00:24:48

Natalie 

Guest

Aww, that’s so sweet! Well tell him I said hello and thank you for watching.

00:24:52

Biz 

Host

I will! And he will be so mad that I didn’t tell him you were on today ‘cause he would’ve been like, “I have to skip school and tell Natalie that I love her.” Anyway. 

00:25:01

Natalie 

Guest

Aww, that’s so sweet.

00:25:02

Biz 

Host

Go ahead. Go back. Yeah.

00:25:03

Natalie 

Guest

Yeah. So like I really hadn’t thought much about it being like, “Oh, we’re gonna be, y’know, this thing that little girls and—and, y’know, little kids are looking to.” Like, I really didn’t think about that. I was just like, “Oh, it’s so cool that we’re gonna get to meet Amy!” ‘Cause, y’know, of this moment with my daughter. And it wasn’t really until we got kicked off. And I was like, “You know what? I’m never gonna see Amy again. I should probably just say, ‘Thank you for doing what you do.’” Because, y’know, they have other jobs besides doing Lego Masters. Which—even though it’s fun—it’s still a heck of a lot of work. It’s still a lot of hours. Y’know. And so I just thought, “I’m just gonna say thank you really quick. They’re gonna cut it anyways so it’s not like it’s gonna matter.” ‘Cause, y’know, once you get kicked off, like, you’re [makes slicing noise]. You’re outta there. So—

00:25:42

Biz 

Host

Yeah! You’re gone! You’re out the door! [Laughs.] 

00:25:44

Natalie 

Guest

Y’know, it’s like that Lost island. It’s like, “They’re gone or they’re kicked off the island. You never see them again.” That’s kinda how it is. And so I was just wanting to say, “Hey, thanks for doing what you do because you’re inspiring a lot of little kids.” And when she turned around and said, like, “You’re also inspiring a lot of little kids, especially girls, too,” I was like, “Huh?” Like, I really hadn’t thought through that. And then I’ve received so many really sweet messages and DMs from people just saying like, “Hey, you guys were one of our favorite teams and my kids loved you or my daughter loved you. Like, because of you my daughter got back our her Lego bricks or because—” Y’know, which is really sweet. Like, and then seeing people send us pictures of the things that their kids are making that are really, like, STEM-oriented. They’re very, like, y’know, they’re engineering their own hats. A friend of mine sent me a picture of their daughter—

00:26:29

Biz 

Host

That hat thing was awesome! 

00:26:31

Natalie 

Guest

Aw, thanks! She was wearing, y’know, her hats like on her rollerblades and whatever. And I just—I love seeing—I love seeing any time that kids are using their imagination to build stuff that they don’t see or that they can say, “Oh, I can do that, too!” I love that. I especially love that when I see young girls doing that, too. Because, y’know, for a lot of time—like, I know it’s changing now. But for a lot of time in our history, that’s not been encouraged! So I love seeing girls build stuff. So I thought that was super, super cool. And no, I hadn’t really thought about us going into this being like a thing or carrying on this like female mantra. It was just like, “Oh, I really hope we do well. I hope we don’t embarrass ourselves on the one episode that we make it.” [Laughs.] 

00:27:07

Biz 

Host

There is that pressure where you’re like, “Oooh.” Like—[Laughs.] 

00:27:12

Natalie 

Guest

Oh, yeah! Or then—like, when they would tell us these challenges of things we’d have to do, “You’re gonna have to build a hat that’s 100 studs wide.” And—y’know, or what was it? A hundred bricks wide and sixty studs tall. Or whatever it was. I’m like, “We gotta do what?” Or, “You’re gonna have to build a four-foot-tall structure that can survive an earthquake test.” I was like, “What?! We have to do what?” “You’re gonna have to build a puppet that has a moving part.” And I’m like, “Where do we start with that? It’s not in the manual!” Like—

00:27:40

Biz 

Host

There were multiple times I was like—we—I will have to say, the game was upped this season.

[Natalie laughs.] 

Every time there would be a new thing, I’d be like, “What is happening?” We would either go, “That’s a good challenge” or we would go—

[Natalie laughs.] “What?! How do you make a puppet out of Lego?” You just think everybody’s going home. And then you see the puppets and you’re like, “I don’t understand… what you’re doing. How did you make that?”

[Natalie laughs.] 

“Even be a thing?” I don’t like—the one in which you have to suspend—

00:28:08

Natalie 

Guest

Right? There is dread on my face. Like—

00:28:10

Biz 

Host

Oh, throughout the whole thing.

00:28:11

Natalie 

Guest

And I’m trying to hide it. I’m trying to hide it every time they announce the—and I’m like, “We gotta do what?” And by the end of it—on one of the challenges I just screamed. Whenever they are splitting us up and doing the land and sea challenge? I’m like, “Aah! We have to do what?!” Like—

[Biz laughs.] 

That was my genuine reaction. Is I’m like, “Aah!” So yeah. It was—it was a fun challenge, btu each time I’m like, “Eek, I hope we don’t embarrass ourselves.” Like, that was my only hope. “I hope we can just make something.” Y’know. 

[Biz laughs.] 

00:28:36

Biz 

Host

Alright. Last question. You went into it like, “Eh, fun! I like to build things and be creative!” And now you’re coming out on the—like, a lot of times people, like, authors will talk to people who are authors or like memoirist. Right? And you think, what surprised you. What did you get out of it? What did you kind of—did anything change for you? Like, about how you approached things. And unintentionally, you are a role model. I guess, like, what’s next? What—is there anything like this has inspired you to do? Or wanna take on? Or no? [Laughs.] 

[Natalie laughs.] 

00:29:12

Natalie 

Guest

Y’know? Okay. So takeaway-wise, I was really—okay. So I—like I said, I’m a creative. So by vocation, for some context, I do a lot of video editing, graphic design, a lot of songwriting. So I kind of do stuff in this vein. And Lego was something that I hadn’t really done professionally. I’d never been paid to do an installation of Lego in the lobby of Nike and—

00:29:38

Biz 

Host

Who knew you could even do that? Right! Yeah! [Laughs.] 

00:29:41

Natalie 

Guest

That’s a thing! Like, that’s a thing. Yeah. So—and it’s like massively impressive. I’m just like, “Okay, that’s never me.” And so going into it I was just like, “Ah! We’ll make it one round. Like, let’s just not embarrass ourselves.” And so I think my biggest takeaway from it—and it was something that like Amy and Jamie had talked with us about at the end? Like, and it ended up not making the edit. It was, y’know, just kinda after the fact. They were super complimentary of our creativity. And saying, like, “Not everybody approaches these challenges the way that you guys do. And the way that yo think is very creative and is kind of left-of-center which is a really big value and so we hope that you kind of, like, feel a little bit more confident as a creative in your ability to be creative.” And it really stuck with me, because it wasn’t—like, Lego Masters, in going into it, wasn’t something I had a lot of experience in. It wasn’t anything that I did by vocation. But it—I think it kind of gave me this confidence boost of, like, creativity kind of spans this… I don’t know. This gap of things. And it’s like I might not be an expert in everything? But I do have my brain, and my brain works a little bit differently than everybody else. Just like your brain works differently than mine. Everybody’s brain works something differently, and I think if we trust that little weird part of ourselves that sees something differently or odd? Like that’s actually our superpower. If we learn to lean into that, and say, like, my approach at this is totally different but that’s what makes me unique and that’s good. Instead of going, “Yuck!” Like, “Why am I this—why am I weird?”

[Biz laughs.] 

If we just kind of like trust that a little bit? We might find ourselves walking a little bit more confidently into challenges that, y’know, you might not have a ton of experience in but feeling confident in yourself that you can pull something together. So for me personally, that was a little confidence booster. Of like, "You know what? I should really have a little bit more confidence in my creativity.” So that was my personal takeaway. It was also super fun because the contestants—like, we all actually really got along. Like—

00:31:42

Biz 

Host

Oh, you could tell. Everybody was—that’s what I liked about Lego Masters, as well as like there are a couple of other shows that are out there. I’m like, “I like it when people aren’t here just to be mean to each other.”

[Natalie laughs.] 

It’s like Great British Bake-Off. Where it’s like, everybody just really likes baking. Everybody just really likes building Legos. Right? Like, I—it’s… it’s fun to watch that. So I’m glad to hear that you guys were all actually—

00:32:06

Natalie 

Guest

Yeah! I mean, we all still message each other every day in Telegram. We have a group message. We all still stay in contact. A couple of weeks ago, Comic Con in Salt—uh, or FanX—Comic Con in Salt Lake—had asked us to come and do a panel. So we all kind of had a mini-reunion and hung out and did a panel.

[Biz laughs.] 

So it was really cool getting to meet this group of people that we had—none of us really knew each other and had this wild experience together. So that was super fun. Really grateful for that. And then you’re saying, like, what’s next? Like, um… y’know, for me, it’s kind of like diving back into a lot of the creative stuff that I’ve been doing before, but maybe just like being extra grateful for it? ‘Cause y’know, sometimes seeing that like… you have these things that you love. To do. And at some point, those turn into jobs. And you’re thankful for that. Right? That’s great. 

00:32:54

Biz 

Host

But they also become jobs.

00:32:56

Natalie 

Guest

Jobs. Right. And then they become quantifiable and then they become like, “Okay, I need to do it this way for this certain reaction and this sort of thing—duh, duh, duh, duh.” And you get all into the analytics of it and you kind of forget to just back up and go, like, “Isn’t this so cool that I get to do this?” 

[Biz laughs.] 

Y’know? [Laughs.] So for me it kind of like—stepping back and getting this fresh perspective of, “Man, I’m so grateful that I get to do creative things for a living. I get to write songs. I get to be part of people’s, y’know, video projects and music projects and like, so for me I guess diving back into the stuff I’ve been doing but kind of with this newfound appreciation of… I don’t know. Just being grateful for what I get to do.

00:33:33

Biz 

Host

Yeah. No. I—I have to say… again… what made you guys our favorites was that creative twist. That you did—like, I really liked your cardboard castle challenge. The one that like—where everybody has to build a castle—

00:33:52

Natalie 

Guest

The one that we got kicked off on? [Laughs.] 

00:33:54

Biz 

Host

The one you got kicked off for! But I gotta tell you, I was like—there’s no way. This is really hard. Y’know, you kinda are like, “Ugh. It’s probably going to be them.” But like… I—I agree that that was such a playful, smart, like, creative way to approach it? And I think that that—I am with you. I think that’s easily dismissed or unrecognized, a lot of times, out in the world when we should be really fostering it. More so. And I just… I’m so glad you guys made it as far as you did so that we could bask in the glory.

[Natalie laughs.] 

Of that creativity. And I’m so thankful to hear that you were kind of learning on the job. That definitely makes—

[Natalie laughs.] 

Guys, did you hear that? We can all do this! Kind of. I mean, not Legos. But—

00:34:42

Crosstalk

Crosstalk

Biz: But something metaphorical. 

Natalie: Yeah! You can learn anything on YouTube!

00:34:45

Biz 

Host

That’s right. Legos is the metaphor for the other thing you’re wanting to do. But yes. You could maybe try. Thank you so much for joining us, and I hope you continue to get opportunities to do creative things. And… thanks for putting your mark on the world of Legos. And we’ll make sure that we link people up to where they can find your music and other ways to access your other creative projects that are out there.

00:35:10

Natalie 

Guest

Well thanks so much for having me! This has been really fun.

00:35:13

Biz 

Host

It has been! Alright. Bye! 

00:35:15

Natalie 

Guest

Bye! Thanks for having me!

00:35:16

Music

Music

“Ones and Zeroes” by “Awesome.” Steady, driving electric guitar with drum and woodwinds.

[Music fades out.]

00:35:34

Music

Promo

Inspirational keyboard music plays in background.

00:35:35

Biz 

Promo

One Bad Mother is supported in part by Smalls. Give your feline friend protein-packed meals they will crave with Smalls! Do you have a kitty? I have a kitty, and I can only talk to kitties just like this. [Laughs.] Look, Smalls is fresh, human-grade food for cats delivered right to your doorstep. With the help of cat nutritionists, Smalls develops complete and balanced recipes for all stages of life. Better quality ingredients mean a better, healthier life for your cat. And since switching to Smalls, cats have experienced improved digestion and less-smelly litterbox! Which maybe—let me tell you—makes a difference. Woo! You can take a short quiz on Smalls.com/badmother to customize your sampler, and use code “badmother” for a total of 30% off your first order. That’s Smalls.com/badmother, code “badmother.”

[Music fades out.]

00:36:39

Music

Promo

Cheerful ukulele with whistling plays in background.

00:36:40

Biz 

Promo

One Bad Mother is supported in part by Wild Alaskan Company. If you like to cook, you know that flavorful meals start with high-quality food and simple ingredients. With Wild Alaskan Company, their seafood is frozen right after it’s caught for peak freshness. All you need are a few simple ingredients and bada-bing, bada-bang, bada-boom, you’ve got a delicious lunch or dinner for you or your whole family if you like to share. [Laughs.] Wild Alaskan Company delivers high-quality, sustainably-sourced, wild-caught seafood right to your door. You can choose from salmon, cod, halibut, and more. We have a few spot prawns in the freezer as we speak. Right now you can get $15 off your first box of premium seafood when you visit WildAlaskanCompany.com/badmother. That’s WildAlaskan—A-L-A-S-K-A-N—Company.com/badmother. 

00:37:42

Theresa

Host

Hey, you know what it’s time for! This week’s genius and fails! This is the part of the show where we share our genius moment of the week, as well as our failures, and feel better about ourselves by hearing yours. You can share some of your own by calling 206-350-9485. That’s 206-350-9485.

00:38:02

Biz 

Host

Genius fail time. Genius me, me!

00:38:05

Clip

Clip

[Dramatic, swelling music in background.]

Biz: Wow! Oh my God! Oh my God! I saw what you did! Oh my God! I’m paying attention! Wow! You, mom, are a genius. Oh my God, that’s fucking genius!

00:38:19

Biz 

Host

Alright, I will genius you. I’m gonna right out the gate. I… have been putting off—I have spoken some about the orthodontics that my children are in the middle of going through. And—as part of that—there will be some teeth that need to be pulled. And I’m pretty sure I’ve told you guys that I continue to not make that appointment. For Raiden, the artist formerly known as Katy Belle. So today—today! Months and months and months after I should have done this! I finally gave the referral to Stefan and I said, “I’m not doing this, and I think I’m never gonna do it. So please do this. You are now President of This Appointment. I want it gone.” And then Stefan did it. And it’s done! And now, I’m only a little mad at myself for not having done that, like, three months ago. But I’m gonna call that a win!

00:39:19

Caller

Caller

[Answering machine beeps.] 

Hi, One Bad Mother! So this is a genius, which I’ve never called in with before. My genius is that I had this task kind of looming over my head. Just with a lot of other things to do. My kid was going to spend the night at their grandparents’, and I needed to pack a bag. And I just was like, “I gotta get this done. It’s one more thing I have to do.” And then it just occurred to me, y’know, this child just turned eight years old. I said, “You need to go pack your bag.” And before I guess I was just more worried that, y’know, this is a very particular child. Really would be a disaster if they didn’t have what they needed while away for two days. But I just sent them off to go pack their bags with some guidelines of what they were gonna need, and then… they came back downstairs. And I said, “Okay. Run through what you have.” And they said, “Okay. I packed pajamas. I packed toothbrush. Toothpaste. I packed this many shirts, this many pairs of shorts.” “Did you pack your loveys? That you need to sleep?” “Yes.” “Okay.” And it was done! And I didn’t have to do it! And it was just amazing. And that is something I’m never gonna have to do again.

[Biz laughs.] 

And I’m just… kind of blown away that I let that happen. And I felt like a genius. So. This week, I’m doing an okay job! You all are doing a great job! And I love this show so, so, so much. Thank you. Bye. 

00:40:54

Biz 

Host

You are doing a great job! There—[Laughs.] This is definitely one of those, “If you do not have children or haven’t had children in your house for a very long time, or you have very young children and are positive you know how things are gonna go down the road—” [Laughs.] This is one of those geniuses that people are like, “What? You just asked your seven-year-old—” Like, it either falls in the camp of like, “You should’ve been have that kid pack his—y’know—suitcase when he was four!” Right? [Laughs.] “You’re horrible!” Or something else. Or just basically treating it like, “What is the big fucking deal?” But I am here to tell you it is a big fucking deal. Because the genius—it’s like a multilayer genius. Because there’s one genius in realizing, “Oh my god. I don’t have to do this for my child.” And I think that’s different than asking your child to do it. It’s two realization moments! One, telling your child to go do a thing. That’s great. Developmentally wonderful. Your child will do great at it or your child will not do great at it. Doesn’t matter. You get a couple of minutes while they go pack up, y’know, all of their toys or the things they actually need. But for us as parents, that moment of realizing “I don’t actually have to do this. I can, in fact, try and push this off on my—” And it’s not just packing. It’s like, lunches. It’s, y’know. It’s really easy to fall into those traps of like putting laundry away. Finishing a chore. It’s really easy between when they are very little and can’t do anything for themselves, and when they are capable of doing things for themselves, that’s that dark window of falling into the trap of continuing to just do it for them ‘cause it’s fucking easier. I mean, I—honestly, I would still be carrying Ellis if I physically could. ‘Cause I’m like, “Let’s go! We gotta move!” So. I think you are doing a remarkable job! Good job! Failures. 

00:42:59

Clip

Clip

[Dramatic orchestral music plays in the background.]

Theresa: [In a voice akin to the Wicked Witch of the West] Fail. Fail. Fail. FAIL!

[Timpani with foot pedal engaged for humorous effect.]

Biz: [Calmly] You suck!

00:43:05

Biz 

Host

Woo! Guys? This is pretty good. So. I go take Ellis to Legoland. I’m gonna be gone for two days. I don’t want to even look at my phone during this time to check emails. Gabe is already smiling, because I think Gabe is a victim of what happened. So I—I never set up out-of-office emails. Theresa used to always set up out-of-office emails. My sister—I see—when I used to be a person who worked in an office, I did it all the time. And I was like, “I’m gonna do this! That way, I have a lot of people who are emailing me a lot for school stuff. I’m just gonna do it.” So I follow all the rules. I create my rules. It’s gonna be an out-of-office. I’m gonna be out of office for October 4^th and 5^th. Blah, blah, blah. I set it and I walk away. And then the next day—well, like, I would say a good 17 hours after this rule has been into effect. Any person who ever sent me an email in the last year and a half? To this particular address that I set it up for? Started getting out-of-office replies. So if you emailed me about a yearbook from last schoolyear, you got an email from me saying that I was gonna be out October 4^th and 5^th. And not just one email—every single exchange. So if on that thread you and I has spoken four or five times, each one of those got an out-of-office reply! And it went back. And no one was spared. And I—[Laughs.] I can’t find any emails now. Because every email has at least five out-of-office—so if I’m trying to find an email from last week, it’s really hard because it’s full of all these auto-responses! And I just want everybody to know that I… I know what happened. I hear you, Universe. I hear you, Universe! I should never try and set boundaries again. I’ve got it. Perfectly clear. [Laughs.] Going forward, I will be available 24 hours. A day. Every day. [Laughs.] 

00:45:22

Caller 

Caller

[Answering machine beeps.] 

Hi. I’m calling with a fail. I have had a headache for two days, and I just remembered that ibuprofen is a thing. And I can take medicine to make myself feel better while I work on fixing all the reasons I have a headache in the first place. Thanks. Bye. 

00:45:41

Biz 

Host

Yeah. Y’know, again—[snidely] “What do you mean you don’t remember how to take a—” [Regular voice] I know what you’re talking about. Where you’re like, “I have a headache.” And then you just move on. You just move on. It’s sort of like I wish I had self-care time, but you just move on. You just push through it. You don’t get it. I need more sleep. You just push through. You don’t get it. So… yeah. Sorry that you are no longer able to problem-solve even the simplest of self-care needs. Like getting rid of a headache. Apologize. That is a fail. And that it took two days to remember ibuprofen is a fail. And probably whatever that long list of things is that’s giving you the headache? Those are also probably fails. You’re doing a horrible job listening to the messages your body is sending you to take care of yourself! Ha, ha! [Laughs.] 

00:46:37

Music

Music

“Mom Song” by Adira Amram. Mellow piano music with lyrics.

You are the greatest mom I’ve ever known.

I love you, I love you.

When I have a problem, I call you on the phone.

I love you, I love you.

[Music fades out.]

00:47:02

Promo

Clip

Music: Upbeat, fun music.

Emily Heller: Does our podcast deep-dive into the weirdest Wikipedia pages we can find?

Lisa Hanawalt: Yeees! Do we learn about scam artists, remote islands, horrible mascots, beautiful diseases, and mythical monsters?

Emily: Yes, yes, yes, absolutely, and yes! Do we retain any of this knowledge? 

Emily & Lisa: Eeeeh?

Lisa: Probably not.

Emily: I’m Emily Heller.

Lisa: I’m Lisa Hanawalt. 

Emily: We make art! And comedy. And TV shows. And also the podcast Baby Geniuses. For the past eight years, we’ve been trying to learn new things about the world and each other every episode.

Lisa: But let’s be honest, this podcast is mostly about two friends hanging out, shooting the breeze, and making each other laugh. We’re horny. We like gardening and horses. And we get real stupid on here. 

Emily: But, like, in a smart way!

Lisa: Yeah.

Emily: Join us! Every other week on Maximum Fun.

Music: Baby Geniuses, tell us something we don’t know!

[Music ends.]

00:47:47

Promo

Clip

Music: Soothing symphonic music.

Narrator: A man was walking along a beach which represented his life. At his feet were two sets of footprints—his, and God’s. But looking back down the beach, the man could see that in the hardest parts of his life, there was only one set of footprints. So the man said to God, “Why is there only one set of footprints when times were hard? Where were you?” And God replied, “My precious child, I was in my car, listening to The Beef and Dairy Network podcast.”

[Sound of airhorns.]

Narrator: The Beef and Dairy Network podcast is a multi-award-winning comedy podcast and you can find it at MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:48:29

Biz 

Host

Alright, everybody. It’s time to listen to a mom have a breakdown. 

00:48:34

Caller

Caller

[Answering machine beeps.] 

Hey, One Bad Mother. This is probably a—breakdown? Or a rant. One or the other. My son was supposed to start school on this coming Wednesday. It’s his first time going to school. And on Friday they announced that they will not be masking in his school. He’s too young to be vaccinated and… uh, he is not low-risk. So we can’t send him. And everything was supposed to change for us on Wednesday. Right now my husband works nights. He was gonna switch to working days. We were [through tears] gonna get to be a family at night. I was gonna get to start having Me Time again. Or maybe see some friends for the first time since my son was born four years ago. And… none of that’s gonna happen now. And it feels like somebody died. That’s the only thing I can call this is—is grief. Because we had all these dreams for the coming year and I know there are lots of other people dealing with this. And I know there are lots of other people who have been dealing with this. But we were so close! It was supposed to be three days from now! And we were gonna have our whole lives change in a good way. And now? We know that’s not happening. And we’re scrambling to figure out what to do for childcare again. And schedules. And all of that. And… [crying]. And I’m sitting in a closet trying to clean it. Trying to exert some kind of control on life because that’s the only kind of control I have right now is cleaning a closet. So that’s where I’m at.

00:50:42

Biz 

Host

First of all, you are doing a remarkable job. You are 100% correct that it is grief. And it—you are grieving. You are 100% grieving. Everybody, the—like, the last year-and-a-half and some more change has been a cause of grief for so many of us. The… not knowing—not being able to rely on schedule or commitment that up until a year-and-a-half ago we were able to—is really, really hard to deal with. I mean, it is a loss. It is a big loss. And I… [sighs.] That realization that what you were planning on when it comes to school and getting that time and not getting it… that is a real punch in the gut. That is… that is—I mean, I—I feel like— [Laughs.] It—honestly, and this is a weird exaggeration, I guess. But I feel like we’re all in some sort of weird, like, dystopic lottery? Where everybody’s like, “Am I gonna—[Laughs.]” Everybody’s like, “Whatever happens, we’ll all be fine!” But we all really want to not get picked for the lottery? We all don’t wanna win? We all wanna be able to go back to school ‘cause everything’s gonna work. We’re all gonna—and then you get the—you get the lottery. You win! Yay! You win! And you get stoned to death. You know that story. You get—you win and the winning is… is—is getting that football pulled right out from under you again. It—it is an unexpected death. And… it has that exact same feeling. And I, for the life of me, cannot understand what school situation is not requiring masks for especially kids under, like, six right now. I’m like, I just—or really under twelve. And you’re right. You’re not the only person who has kids that aren’t low-risk. That are high-risk. And… everybody… it can feel like everybody else is moving along? Quote-unquote “back to normal” and you are the only one. And that’s not true. But… it does feel like that. Because, for example, a friend might be able to have their kid go back to school. And you’re scrambling for childcare just like your friend was a year ago. Right? And that’s unfair! And there is a sense of unfairness. And jealousy with that. And those are big emotions, and they are valid emotions. Of course you’re grieving. Of course you’re sad. Of course it feels impossible. You do deserve time. Me Time. You do deserve that change for good. Being trapped at home—and I’m saying “trapped.” Being trapped at home with your kids—especially those years before they really go to school, y’know, if you’re lucky you can get daycare or preschool. Those are hard, long, dark, never-ending days. That we all celebrate that day where our kids are in school finally. I mean, there are a few days where we’re crying and we’re really sad that our kids are in school, but then that wears off. And we’re like, “Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Wait! There’s not enough time in the day!” So I just… I want you to know that you really are doing a good job. Please, please be gentle with yourself. Let yourself grieve. You deserve to grieve. You deserve to be… mad and sad and all of the things that are part of grief. And… y’know, I—[sighs.] I have to hope that there are options out there? In terms of support for you? And everybody? You know. Everybody who’s got kids that aren’t at high risk? Go fight for masks. At your schools. So that kids who really need it can come. It’s not just—like, I mean—it’s such an opportunity for us to do something very simple that makes what we find normal incredibly possible for somebody else. Okay? You’re doing an amazing job. And you are strong. And you will get through this. 

00:55:54

Biz 

Host

Everybody? I’m just gonna keep it simple and sweet today. You’re doing a really good job. I enjoyed talking to Natalie, not only because I totally fangirled out, but also because I actually really liked hearing about her experience level that she brought into the event. You do watch it and think, “Well these guys all must be, like, complete professional Lego builders. Whatever that means. Whatever a professional Lego builder is. They—they clearly spend all their—” And I—it just was inspiring to know that… when we find something that is a creative outlet, that’s a way for us to express ourselves, or that’s just something new that we’ve never really done or that we find challenging, that we do have it in us to take a stab at it! Right? And see what joy it might bring us. It’s also a good reminder that our actions in the world do have impact on others. Whether we know it or not. Just as the Paint Can Ladies— [Laughs.] Just as Natalie and Michelle wound up being very inspiring to a lot of us who watch the show. The actions that we take out in the world can also be inspiring. So whether that’s, y’know, making sure you greet a kid that you may or may not know at drop-off, or a parent who you’ve never talked to before? Telling a teacher that they’re doing a good job? Or putting on a goddamn mask for a four-year-old. [Laughs.] Never letting that go, everybody! It has an impact. It sends a message. And every day that you get up and do it and go back to bed and wake up and do it again? That is having an impact. Okay? You are being the best parents you can be right now. And every day we have an opportunity to try something different. And celebrate that. Okay? You are all doing a remarkable job. And I will talk to you next week. Byeeee!

00:58:15

Music

Music

“Mama Blues” by Cornbread Ted and the Butterbeans. Strumming acoustic guitar with harmonica and lyrics.

I got the lowdown momma blues

Got the the lowdown momma blues

Gots the lowdown momma blues

The lowdown momma blues. 

Gots the lowdown momma blues

Got the lowdown momma blues

You know that’s right.

[Music fades somewhat, briefly plays in background of dialogue.]

00:58:39

Biz 

Host

We’d like to thank MaxFun; our producer, Gabe Mara; our husbands, Stefan Lawrence and Jesse Thorn; our perfect children, who provide us with inspiration to say all these horrible things; and of course, you, our listeners. To find out more about the songs you heard on today’s podcast and more about the show, please go to MaximumFun.org/onebadmother. For information about live shows, our book and press, please check out OneBadMotherPodcast.com.

00:59:08

Theresa

Host

One Bad Mother is a member of the Maximum Fun family of podcasts. To support the show go to MaximumFun.org/donate.

[Music continues for a while before fading out.]

00:59:31

Music

Host

A cheerful ukulele chord.

00:59:33

Speaker 1

Host

MaximumFun.org.

00:59:34

Speaker 2

Host

Comedy and culture.

00:59:35

Speaker 3

Host

Artist owned—

00:59:36

Speaker 4

Host

—Audience supported.