Transcript
biz
Hi. I’m Biz.
theresa
And I’m Theresa.
biz
Due to the pandemic, we bring you One Bad Mother straight from our homes—including such interruptions as: children! Animal noises! And more! So let’s all get a little closer while we have to be so far apart. And remember—we are doing a good job.
music
“Summoning the Rawk” by Kevin MacLeod. Driving electric guitar and heavy drums. [Continues through dialogue.]
biz
This week on One Bad Mother, something is on fire! Check your pants! Plus, Biz is all alone and we talk to Deborah Goldstein of the podcast The Big Fib and the live storytelling show Listen to Your Mother.
crosstalk
Biz and caller: Woooo!
caller
I’m going to pick up pizza and there’s no kids in the car! That’s it! [Biz laughs.] Hopefully they’ll eat. Love the show! I’m listening to it right now! Buh-bye! [Biz laughs.]
biz
I… this is the greatest check-in One bad Mother has ever had. I—not only was that a really great woo. I—the giddiness of your, like in your voice of “I’m going to get a pizza!” I mean, because you’ve just said “Screw you, food that I don’t wanna have to make or even shake ’n’ make. I just wanna go get a pizza.” You’re going to get it and you’re alone in your car. I’m sorry. They messed up your order. You’re gonna have to sit in that car a little while longer, aren’t you? I think you’re amazing. In fact, now I wanna have pizza. You are doing a great job. Thank you so much for checking in. Y’know who’s also doing a great job? [Singing] All the essential workers out there! [Regular voice] You’re all amazing. COVID fatigue set in probably a month after. Let’s not even—two days after [through laughter] after shutdowns began in March. Okay? We are now really far into it? And it is… really hard to keep all the lines from blurring due to exhaustion? And so… y’know. We’ve got incredibly increased numbers out there. That in itself is very scary. And at the same time, meh. Maybe we’re getting numb to it! I don’t know! Everything’s fucked up! But what’s not fucked up are all of our medical professionals who are working double, triple, quadruple time to help us to make sure that those who are not only dealing with COVID but any number of normal day-to-day illnesses that we have—broken arms! Broken legs! Uh… lots of—ahh! I mean, stye in your eye! I don’t know! There’s a lot of things that can happen and I don’t wanna get too depressed by mentioning them all. Let’s just say—we all gotta go to the doctor a lot. And everybody from the people who intake and file paperwork, data entry, to the people who keep those doctors’ offices and hospitals and clinics clean and safe for us to go into? And doctors and nurses and—EMTs! All of you! You’re amazing? And I am gonna wear my mask for you. I have been wearing my mask for you. I will continue to wear my mask for you. I will put on my fucking mask for you. It will muffle the sounds of me yelling “thank you” on the street, but I am gonna do my part to support you. You are amazing. Heyyy, United States Postal Service! I still love you, too! [Singing] Teachers, you’re great! Teachers, you’re great! Teachers you’re great! [Regular voice] Shoutout to Octonauts theme song there. Anyway. You’re all amazing! And… it’s a weird time ‘cause it’s holidays. And—[sighs]. We’re not gonna be able to do all the normal stuff and I’m really sorry. That sucks. So I am gonna just say I am incredibly thankful. Thankful. Thankful. For all of you who are making life work for us right now.
biz
Let me tell you what’s working for me right now, guys. My partner, Stefan, just took both kids to a local garden. It’s very large. Very open. Very social distance-y. And— [Laughs.] And I’ve just—like, it just kind of sunk in that I am alone in the house. [Laughs.] There’s no one in the house. It’s so quiet. Like it’s an—it’s an uneasy… quiet. And yet—it’s like when you walk into a forest, right? And you haven’t been out in nature for a while? And that’s’ not a quiet place but it’s like it’s a different sound that you’re like—should I be scared of this? Or is this really lovely and tranquil? That’s how the no sound in this house feels right now. Am I really terrified of it or is it really tranquil? Do I wanna play a bunch of—well clearly I’m gonna record a podcast right now, so god! I’m wasting—I’m wasting it, guys! But I’m not really wasting it because today, I’m gonna get to talk to Deborah Goldstein of the podcast The Big Fib about critical thinking and how important that is for kids to get really good at. Let’s think on that, shall we?
music
Banjo strums; cheerful banjo music continues through dialogue.
theresa
Please—take a moment to remember: If you’re friends of the hosts of One Bad Mother, you should assume that when we talk about other moms, we’re talking about you.
biz
If you are married to the host of One Bad Mother, we definitely are talking about you.
theresa
Nothing we say constitutes professional parenting advice.
biz
Biz and Theresa’s children are brilliant, lovely, and exceedingly extraordinary.
theresa
Nothing said on this podcast about them implies otherwise. [Banjo music fades out.] [Biz and Deborah repeatedly affirm each other as they discuss the weekly topic.]
biz
This week, we are talking to Deborah Goldstein, who is a writer, host, and executive producer of the game show podcast for all ages, The Big Fib. She is also a supervising producer on the Disney+ version of The Big Fib podcast starring Yvette Nicole Brown and Rhys Darby. When we all aren’t avoiding human aerosols, she coproduces and hosts the annual local storytelling event Listen To Your Mother, a live event show featuring original stories celebrating motherhood. Well then I guess I can’t be on it. [Deborah laughs.] [Singing] Welcome, Deborah!
deborah
[Singing] Thank you for having me! [Biz laughs.] Hello!
biz
That’s—hello! [Deborah laughs.] Before we get started—and I have a feeling—buckle up, everybody! [Deborah laughs.] I got a feeling this one’s gonna go a little of everywhere today, which is delightful. Tell us who lives in your house?
deborah
The people who live in my house are as follows: I have two man-children aged 14 and 17 as of tomorrow. [Biz laughs.] I know. I look like I was probably a child bride. It’s true.
biz
It’s true! [Deborah laughs.]
deborah
And also one lady-spouse.
biz
Oh, a lady-spouse! I like that. I like “lady-spouse.” And I also—I was a little nervous when you said man-child ‘cause I was like, “Oh no! We never do the man-child on this show! We purposely avoid calling grown-ass men children!” They’re just jerks! And so— [Laughs.]
crosstalk
Biz: If there are like— Deborah: [Laughs.] But they’re a funny age.
deborah
They’re teenagers and they’re not like children but they’re not men but they’ve got lots of facial hair so—
biz
I was gonna say!
crosstalk
Biz: Do they have facial hair? Oh. It’s weird. Deborah: It’s very confusing. Oh, too much. Too much. Yeah.
deborah
It’s weird. It’s prickly. It’s not even full. They can’t grow anything to the full extent so it’s awkward. It’s bizarre. Yeah.
biz
God. Everything must be awkward in that house right now. [Deborah laughs.]
deborah
That is absolutely true! It’s like you’re here. Yeah. [Laughs.]
biz
Yeah! I am! I’m right behind you! Surprise! Yeah. Any pets in there? No?
deborah
No! Two teenage children is enough. Yeah.
crosstalk
Deborah: That’s enough. Biz: It’s enough.
deborah
I think. I think so. We do—sometimes we will dog-sit for people. We love dogs. We love animals. But I love them so much I know that we would not be the appropriate caregivers full-time of said animals so we will occasionally dog-sit or care for other animals. Guinea pigs. We’ve done that, too. And then we can give them back! Unlike our children. [Laughs.] [Biz laughs.]
biz
They’re there forever! Also shedding throughout your house. [Deborah laughs.]
biz
Yeah. Mine are younger. I’ve got Cat, who is 11. Already tweening out. And Ellis, who is… gonna be 7 imminently. Imminently! [Deborah laughs.] Going to be—look at all these Sagittariuses flying around around here!
crosstalk
Deborah: That’s a lot of fire. A lot of fire. Yeah. [Laughs.] Biz: A lot— [Laughs.]
biz
So much fire. A lot of heat. And so they shed, but it’s different. [Deborah laughs.] It’s a different shed, causing me to emotionally shed left and right.
deborah
Yes. You must.
biz
Let’s talk about—first—the podcast. Which has recently had a name change because of very good things. It is currently called The Big Fib. I would love for you to tell us about it. Tell us a little bit about the name change in case people are like, [plaintively] “But I was listening!” And then when you’re done I’m gonna praise the theme song. Your current theme song. Because… mwah. Anyway.
deborah
Oh. I’d love to take responsibility for everything, But I won’t. because I also love giving praise to all the people who’ve made everything happen? Because I work with an incredible team of people. But. So once upon a time, the show was actually called Pants on Fire, as in “liar, liar, pants on fire,” which is a name everyone loved. And everyone’s very sad that it changed. And skipping ahead a little bit—so we don’t go through every stage of the evolution. We can do as much of that as you like. [Biz laughs.] But eventually it caught the eyes of Disney, and Disney thought, “Ooh, we could make a show out of that.” And they also loved the name Pants on Fire, by the way. However. There is a game show in Norway called Pants on Fire. No lie. And Disney said if we cannot be Pants on Fire everywhere, we can be Pants on Fire nowhere. [Biz laughs.] And so we had to change the name!
biz
I really like that philosophy. [Deborah laughs.] Like, that smells like the… Disney+ holiday Christmas card a little bit. That’s remarkable. So now it is known as—
crosstalk
Biz and Deborah: The Big Fib.
deborah
Correct. And by the way,w e got a lot of—I don’t wanna use the word “hate,” ‘cause hate is a strong emotion. But people felt very connected to Pants on Fire—the name Pants on Fire—and I understand that. And look, change is hard. I know that. And I—and it was very difficult for me not to say, “You’re right! We hate it, too!” That we have to change our name. [Biz laughs.] So we took it, and we understand that its’ difficult for people to change, but we’re still the same. We’re the same crew. It’s the same concept. We just are called something different. And we just have a new name! Sometimes we need to redefine ourselves, don’t we?
biz
Yes! Yeah. I’ve got a tween in this house redefining every five minutes. I get it. And I just bought a bunch of sale stuff—again—trying to change whatever my look is that no one sees. [Deborah laughs.] What goes better with eight months of greying? I don’t know! Is it jeans? Is it casual sweatshirts? Okay> I wanna say—I wanna get back to the hate. The hate. Simply because I feel like, y’know, a comedy podcast about parenting? You probably never receive negative— [Deborah laughs.] —negative emails. But I—it’s true. I feel like there’s a separation we all have to do where sometimes, we are not real. Right? I mean, we’re real, but we’re also not real. And it is—we can be a wonderful target for displaced anger. Right? Like it’s not about… it’s not about, like, y’know. Something we may have said on the show. It’s about how that feels—how the person’s taking that feeling. It’s not about necessarily the name change. It’s about like, 8,000 other things? And I just wanted this one thing to stay the same. And like… I just… I’m like, “Bring it. Just bring it.” I can hold this for you. It’s—
deborah
If it makes you feel better…
biz
If you need this, man?
deborah
I’m here for you, yeah. Fucking go for it. It’s fine. It really is. So with that said, you’re a monster— [Deborah laughs.] —for changing the name.
deborah
Thank you.
biz
Now, the show—which—by the way, I gotta go shoutout the new theme song is all about—a la sort of Garry Shandling-themed—no one knows. Garry Shandling, guys, is a—you know!
deborah
I know. Yeah.
biz
And that most of you know. [Singing] This is the theme—The Garry Show! [Deborah laughs.] The opening theme—The Garry Show! [Regular voice] Anyway. It’s such a delight. But it’s a very meta theme song about the fact that you guys have changed your name but you’re still the same show. It’s very rock’n’roll and hardcore. And I love it. So the show—you have a kid. And you present two experts, but one of those experts is a… big fibber.
crosstalk
Biz: Did you see me transition like that? Do you like that? I’m being very good! Deborah: Correct! I—very good! You’re good! [Laughs.]
biz
Is a big fibber. And the kid has to answer—has to ask questions—come up with questions to ask. And the whole thing sort of surrounds this notion of critical thinking. How do we help our kids learn to think critically, to smell bs when it happens. And that is wonderful. But my first thought listening to the show is— [Deborah laughs.] —“God, these kids are good!” like, how are they coming up with these questions? I can’t even get my—if my children come to me currently and say “I am hungry,” and I say “What would you like,” they say “I don’t know.” And I’m now of the mindset of—“Well, when ya do… get it.” Right? But like…
deborah
I have those kids, too. Yeah.
biz
Now the thought of like… “Now come up with a list of critically—questions that really rely on logic and understanding.” And then they have to listen!
crosstalk
Deborah: Yes they do! Yes! Biz: They have to listen to the experts!
biz
So… how does that—how do you guys make that happen? [Deborah laughs.] And can I get a bottle of it?
deborah
Sure. Well, they’re not—they’re actually puppet children. They’re not real. [Biz laughs.] No. Well first of all, they’re very excited to be on the show and they want to win, even though we’re not offering them anything. They don’t win… anything. Except the excitement of being on the show and working with us and with LISA, my cohost, LISA, which is—
biz
Who is a robot.
deborah
A robot whose name—
biz
With a male-sounding voice.
deborah
Correct!
biz
Which I really adore.
deborah
Yes. He identifies as a he. He uses he/him pronouns and his name—
biz
I fucking love it! [Laughs.]
deborah
Is “LISA,” which stands for “Live In-Studio Audience,” the conceit being that he is responsible for all the sound effects on the show.
biz
Yeah. I’m sorry. I like the idea of asking robots what pronouns they prefer. [Deborah laughs.] That’s genius.
crosstalk
Biz: Just genius. Alright! Deborah: That’s what he said. Yeah.
deborah
So the kids are super excited and they wanna win. And they’ve heard the show enough—most of them, at this point—that they kinda get what they should ask. Now I also do a lot of prep work with the kids. I tell them in the first segment—which we call the “Hotseat” segment where we put the experts on the hotseat so kids can ask questions—we’d love for them to ask open questions. So I kind of explain to them what the difference between an open question and a closed question is, so that they can give the experts the opportunity to riff. To talk about stories and anecdotes and use words that relate to their fields and all that kind of stuff. And so I will give them examples. I give everybody a packet—these are some examples of questions but you don’t have to use these questions. Come up with your own! And they do! They come up with great questions. And sometimes they use closed questions, which we then put in the quick-fire round later.
biz
Ah.
deborah
But most of the time they use their open-ended questions. “What do you do in your job? If I wanted to do your job, what would I have to study? What’s the funniest thing that ever happened to your job, or is it true that—” Y’know, stuff like that. Things that they look up and find. And then it’s up to the experts to not just say, “Yes” or “seven.” [Biz laughs.] They need to talk, right?
biz
Yeah. “Seven.”
deborah
Right. And that’s it. “Okay. Alright. That’s our show. Thank you very much.” [Biz laughs.] So I have to prep them, too! And let them know this is sort of your opportunity to show off what you know, even if you don’t know.
biz
Do you—like, with—a couple of the ones that I was listening to… the expert—you have the expert, who’s like really an expert. Who’s like the truth-teller.
deborah
Certified. Yeah. Legitimate, yeah.
biz
Certified. The liar—how do you keep it—it feels like they’re like only one step away, though, from maybe actually being involved. Do you look for experts that are sort of close? Like…
deborah
No!
biz
For example—no, they’re just somebody you know who’s good at lying.
deborah
Well they are actors.
biz
Oh, okay.
deborah
And therefore, yes—they are good at lying! [Biz laughs.] And they’re very good at lying! And as a matter of fact, when we were first doing the show, I would say to the experts—you don’t have anything to worry about. You know your stuff. I’ll see ya on the day that we’re recording and then I would try to prep the liars. And the kids kept choosing the liars as the experts.
biz
Yeah! Yeah! That’s true! Yeah!
deborah
And it’s because I—y’know, sort of faceplant. Of course. Because I have to tell the experts who are not improv actors or, y’know, liars by trade that they needed to tell stories and they needed to… use language. They needed to expand and use anecdotes and say fun things. And it was kind of an exercise in improv a bit. Right? And not just say “I don’t know the answer to that question,” but talk about what they did know, etcetera. So the actors—I don’t want actors who have any experience with the topic. They do some research. And I tell them, look. The kids are gonna go online and they’re gonna look for fun facts about skateboarding. Or, y’know, “myths about” or “history of” or “famous people.” Go to those sites! Look up what they’re looking up because that’s where their questions are gonna come from.
biz
Do you notice—I was listening—I’ve listened to several of them. The most recent is the pie episode—who makes pies? And— [Deborah laughs.] I—like, I kinda felt like I knew… [Deborah laughs.] —who was the expert and who was the liar. And I was right and the child was wrong. So haha, child! But I thought it was a male and female—or identifying male and female—bakers or people who were bakers and I really thought that the kid was gonna pick… I felt like my choice might’ve been biased? By how they—like—how they sound!
deborah
Sure. Absolutely.
biz
I trust the women.
deborah
Interesting!
biz
And so I was wondering, though, if—and I know that depends on like how they’re playing it. What their personalities are. Etcetera. But I do wonder—have you—this is just a side— [Deborah laughs.] —quest. Like, do you wanna write a book about human nature and biases? Have you ever noticed if kids tend to lean one way or the other? Is that even a question I can ask you?
deborah
Yes! And it was a question we were worried about in the beginning. Because we didn’t want kids to assume—now—I would say that adults of our—
crosstalk
Biz and Deborah: —age.
deborah
Thank you. [Both laugh.]
crosstalk
Biz: Old, everybody! The people who remember The Garry Shandling Show. Deborah: Right? We’re old. [Laughs.] Right.
deborah
When “Free to Be Me” was radical. Right. Okay.
biz
Yes! It was radical!
deborah
Right! So we worried that kids are going to assume that women are lying and that men—
biz
Oh!
deborah
And that men are the experts. Right? [Biz laughs.]
biz
You can also tell—based on some of my personal experiences— [Deborah laughs.] —which way I lean on that, guys. [Laughs.]
deborah
Sure, sure. Yeah! And that was a worry. We didn’t want that. And so I certainly go out of my way to cast experts who are perhaps maybe women who are in male-dominated careers and vice-versa. Right? Just to make sure we’re—and honestly, I truly believe—I don’t think I’m being naïve—I truly believe it doesn’t make a difference to the kids as much as it makes a difference to us as adults in our generation.
biz
Yeah. As people who’ve just walked through the world. Because I mean—admittedly not everywhere, but a lot of where, it’s very different for—I mean, the sort of the biases that were sort of locked in place. Like my kids—like I just was having a conversation with the seven-year-old—almost seven—last night. And they were like, “What were your choices when it came to how you identified?” I was like, y’know— [Deborah laughs.] —and I was like, “Boy and girl. Boy/girl!”
crosstalk
Biz: And they were like, “I don’t understand.” Deborah: Right. That’s—those were my options!
biz
I’m like, look. Look, nonbinary children of mine. [Deborah laughs.] Y’know, that’s wonderful. But yeah! Like, that—there were—
crosstalk
Deborah: We don’t—that wasn’t our world. Absolutely! Absolutely! Totally different! Biz: And if you were [inaudible] that could mean a lot of stuff! Right? Like— [Laughs.]
deborah
It makes you feel old in a good way because it’s so different for them!
biz
Oh, in a very good way. And so like I agree that like… I feel like when you become a parent, you start to see things that are from your childhood that you remember delightful, and then you watch them and you’re like, “Whoa! Whoaaa! Whoa! Whoa!”
deborah
So many movies I can’t show my kids. Yeah. Terrible.
biz
So many movies! Like, my favorite movies—I have—sadly, I am a Lampoon-style—like, give me Caddyshack and Meatballs—all those. I am just like a twelve-year-old at my core. And I’m like, “Oh no. Sorry. Can’t—can’t—” [Laughs.]
deborah
I’m with you. I’m Beavis and Butthead all the time, and it doesn’t play well. Yeah. [Laughs.]
biz
No! To the point where when you show it to them, their responses are like, “Why on earth are you showing me this, mother?”
deborah
I know! So sad! So sad.
biz
And so… y’know, you have to learn very quickly that it’s—that’s our baggage. That’s like our stuff that we came up with, probably because we were watching that stuff. But I’m like, panty raids are fine. [Both laugh.] What?! What is happening? So they just don’t have it!
deborah
No, they don’t.
biz
And I hope they never fucking do. But they will.
deborah
They’ll have their own thing. Yeah.
biz
So that’s actually quite refreshing.
deborah
Yeah. It is! It is! Because then I feel a lot less stress about it. However, I do get the occasional email about—y’know, we don’t run an episode where the—by the way, we do use male-identified voice, female-identified voice, always. Because there’s so many of us on the—in the game? That we want them to be distinguishable in the podcast. So I will use—for the sake of this particular example, I will use male and female, but—so I will get emails that say, “I’ve listened to this show for the past month and the male is always the expert. And I’m raising my boys here to learn that women can be experts.” Etcetera. Fair. I get it. But we can’t always—we can’t do male expert one week; female; male; female. Because then the kids get it. They study this stuff.
crosstalk
Biz: Oh, they know. Yeah. They’ll know! Yeah! Deborah: They know! They—they really do.
deborah
And so we’ll do three male experts in a row and then a female and etcetera. And I keep a running tab of all the female, all the male experts. [Biz laughs.] And I’ll say to them—in the nicest way. I’m not rude about it at all. I say, “Absolutely. I get it. I’m in the same boat. And just so you know, here’s our tally and just keep listening. Because—yeah. Keep listening.”
biz
The women will be on top again! [Laughs.] Right, yeah.
deborah
Correct. Yeah! Yeah. And it—currently we have more female experts than male, I think. Just by a couple though. Y’know. We keep it balanced.
biz
Well it would—that is an interesting thing you have to stay on top of and consider. That I am—I certainly did not think of that right away. But now I’m like, “Oh yeah. My kids.” Who I did basically infer were idiots at the beginning. Would’ve figured that out in like—in two seconds, right? Like they would—yeah. Interesting. Alright.
deborah
Yeah. They’re smart.
biz
They are! God.
deborah
I know.
biz
Kids are—kids are—
deborah
It’s frightening.
biz
—so freakishly smart. [Laughs.] [Deborah laughs.] Alright. I’m gonna shift. Enough about children. This show’s never been about children. Let’s talk about Listen to Your Mother, the storytelling show which is so wonderful—I mean, this show—we’ve been doing this like eight years now. And it came out of that sense of—moms are dumb and lame, and they—parenting in general. Whomp, whomp! Y’know. Like you—so sorry. There were some very specific roles we were all supposed to fall into. And no one wanted to hear ‘em on top! ‘Cause boring! God! She’s just gonna tell us how much she loves her children and how natural it is! And so things like this storytelling makes me so happy. Because it’s—in this society in particular, the American society, parents… like, once you have kids, we’re never supposed to know about kids. Right? And we’re not supposed to wanna know about anything related to your parenting, especially in the work world or just in the world. At a cocktail party. Like, whatever. And so… I—tell us a little bit about… getting that live show going.
deborah
Sure. So again, I will not take credit for this show. It is the brainchild—
biz
You are doing it wrong, Deborah! Credit, credit, credit!
deborah
I know. I would—I will take credit for the work that I do with my team to put it on in our local area. However.
biz
However.
deborah
However. It was not my idea. It was a show that was conceived in the—remember blogging? [Laughs.]
biz
Yes, I do! My parents still call this blogging! It’s like, yes.
deborah
It’s the next blogging, kind of. I mean, obviously there are differences but— [Biz laughs.] —and once upon a time there was blogging. And there would be these conferences where you would meet up with people who were bloggers and talk about blogging and it was so exciting. And there were people who were writers. Right? And there was one particular blogger, writer, and performer who went to one of these conferences. Was very much inspired by the particular keynote event at one of these conferences where people could bring their stories to the stage and these normally introverted—y’know, behind-the-screen—writers would be able to speak their words and people could give them the praise that they deserved. And she was so inspired by that. Her name is Anne Emmick. That she created her first similarly-designed show in her town in Madison, Wisconsin, with the theme of motherhood. Where she would audition people to come read their original stories. Five-minute stories about motherhood and all of its complexities. It could be funny; sad; complicated; all the facets, right? And she would put together that show and she did it this one year and I met her… after she had just done the first show. Or maybe right before she was about to do it. Regardless, we met and she said “I wanna do this in many cities.” And because the world of blogging at that time was a very connected community—
biz
It was! Yeah! Yeah!
deborah
There were people who said, “Yes, me too, I wanna do that also.” And so she grew it. And people started doing it in various cities. And I think seven years later… I believe… it was in 41 cities across the nation and mostly from the blogging world. But then other people started to jump onboard, too. And I had been in the show in New York City and so had another colleague of mine who was in a different year in New York City, but we both knew that we came from this area—this community—that was super creative and there were tons of writers and storytellers and we said we really need to bring this to our own town. And so we did! And we put on the show and Anne was behind it and she really helped people produce it in their own towns and gave people the format and the support to do it. Now—and then we’ve been doing it ever since. And the—you cast different people every year. You hold auditions. You have people bring their stories. And not just mothers or women, right? Anybody who has something to say about motherhood! Right? Right?
biz
Yeah! [Laughs.] Oh, yeah! Yeah!
deborah
So I’m thinking—lots of people.
biz
Lot of people have opinions on motherhood. [Laughs.]
deborah
Yeah! And it’s your experience—you have one, you don’t have one, you used to have one, you wanna be one, you are one, whatever. And every year you’re also supposed to—and we are happy to—give a certain portion of our profits to a local charity that supports mothers in your area, as well. So there’s that element of it also. And it brings the community together in such a wonderful way. It really is—you have a visceral emotion to riding this ride where people are sharing their stories that are not—these are not scripted—I mean, you’re writing them for yourself, but you’re not putting it on. It’s really coming from the heart, and you can feel it. And people love it. And people connect to each other in a way they don’t anticipate, but love. And every year it’s great.
biz
Yeah, but it’s because… y’know… everything can be… for as connected as we all are—very isolating. And y’know… we talk here a lot about isolation after a kid winds up in your house.
deborah
Yeah. Somehow.
biz
Somehow. They do! Sometimes— [Deborah laughs.] —sometimes you just get a call and the next day there’s a teen in your house, man! Like, and you’re like, “Aaah!” There are lots of ways to get kids. [Laughs.]
deborah
There are! Yes! [Laughs.]
biz
So no matter how they show up—the stork or whatever—it can—you can suddenly find yourself totally cut off. Or it feels like you’re cut off. And that doesn’t just apply to people with kids in their house. Y’know. It is—we do not move through the world like we once did in which we are constantly out in a community. And so I can understand how impactful it would be to be… in a room with this sort of event happening. Like, how heard and how seen I would feel no matter really what the story was. And it—I would imagine it provides an amazing opportunity for people to see more than just their one story as they come in. And yeah! I—are you guys—how’s that working out with COVID this year?
deborah
Great question! Yeah. It’s not.
biz
Yeah! Good question! You’re welcome! Thanks!
crosstalk
Biz: It’s not! The answer! Deborah: It’s not. We—yeah.
deborah
We talked about—early days—so the show always happens on or around Mother’s Day. So this past Mother’s Day we were well into the pandemic, so we talked about doing it virtually and we actually had a cast. We had auditioned a bunch of people. We had a cast ready to go. And we did a run-through virtually. And while it was very meaningful for all of us on the Zoom call, we just didn’t think that it would translate the same way. So we put everybody on hold and said, okay, let’s just do this again next year. And who knows! I don’t think we’ll be—I know we won’t be able to do this this year, either. And that is super sad. But… y’know, better everyone’s safe and at home so that we can all come together when it is safe and appropriate to do so next year. So.
biz
There will be so much hugging.
crosstalk
Biz: I am not a hugger. Deborah: So much hugging.
biz
I’m not a hugger and I’m like… “I need to hug somebody!”
deborah
Yes! Absolutely! Yeah! Yeah!
biz
Yeah! Stranger hugs! “Come here! Bring it in!”
deborah
Everybody looks so huggable these days. [Laughs.]
crosstalk
Biz: Huggable! Yeah! “Come here, stranger!” Y’know. Deborah: It’s true! It’s difficult. Yes!
biz
Alright. Deborah. This has been a delight! [Deborah laughs.] You are now my new best friend.
deborah
Oh, I hope so! That’s wonderful.
biz
I just wanna like keep chatting—
crosstalk
Deborah: I’d love that. Biz: —and talking.
biz
Everybody… absolutely go check out the podcast and obviously the TV show. But as—for all of us who are also trying to find other ways for our kids to, y’know, do stuff? You ain’t going on a long car ride this year. But pop on a little 20-minute podcast that’s enjoyable and I do wanna say—Gabe, our lovely producer, and I were both speaking at the beginning of the show about just the quality of the production. It is engaging throughout.
deborah
Thank you.
biz
So you did a wonderful job.
deborah
Yes. Thank you so much.
biz
We’ll link everybody up to where they can get it. Which is where you get podcasts. And—but just in case. [Deborah laughs.] Just in case you think it’s a blog. We’ll link you up to it and how to access it. And as well as to, y’know, sort of the history and information of Listen to Your Mother.
crosstalk
Biz: Thank you so much, Deborah! Deborah: Thank you so much!
deborah
Thank you for all you do and for all Theresa does and for all you do, Gabe. You are all doing a phenomenal job.
biz
So are you. [Singing] Goodbye! [Laughs.]
deborah
Byeee! [Laughs.]
biz
Now get outta my Zoom! [Both laugh.]
deborah
Ciao!
biz
“Ones and Zeroes” by “Awesome.” Steady, driving electric guitar with drum and woodwinds. [Music fades out.]
biz
Cheerful ukulele music plays in background.
theresa
One Bad Mother is supported in part by Care.com.
biz
‘Tis the season to wear multiple hats! Who doesn’t need to wear another hat right now? We all need an extra hand and we need to be able to find trusted and reliable sitters, nannies, housekeepers, dog-walkers, and more. And we can do that on Care.com. What’s nice about being a premium member—of which Theresa and I both are—is that it makes is so easy to find the right people to help us. I was so surprised by how many caregivers live right near me when I put my zip code in, and they provide me with all the tools that I needed to access backgrounds, to read reviews, to see qualifications and certifications. Guys? We all need a little help right now!
theresa
To save 30% off a Care.com premium membership, visit Care.com/badmother or use the promo code “badmother.” [Music fades out.]
theresa
Hey, you know what it’s time for! This week’s genius and fails! This is the part of the show where we share our genius moment of the week, as well as our failures, and feel better about ourselves by hearing yours. You can share some of your own by calling 206-350-9485. That’s 206-350-9485.
biz
[Singing] Genius fail time! Hello, Theresa! It’s time… to say hello and genius me.
clip
[Dramatic, swelling music in background.] Biz: Wow! Oh my God! Oh my God! I saw what you did! Oh my God! I’m paying attention! Wow! You, mom, are a genius. Oh my God, that’s fucking genius! [Biz and Theresa repeatedly affirm each other as they discuss their respective genius moments of the week.]
theresa
Sure. I can do that. I… figured out what to do with just stacks of coloring books and activity books. That are just like in a bin? I know. Just like throw ‘em in the trash. Right? [Biz laughs.] What if that was it? What if that was my genius?
biz
What about the—
theresa
Just throw ‘em away!
biz
I would say that’s fucking genius. [Laughs.]
theresa
Throw ‘em away. [Laughs.]
biz
I wish! Oh.
theresa
I used—we have in our like little play area—as if the whole house isn’t a fucking play area— [Biz laughs.] We have one of those preschooler/toddler bookshelves? Where it faces out? The books’ covers face out so you don’t have to read the spine, you can see. And that’s been there for a while and pretty much it was for Curtis and he doesn’t—I try switching out the books but he’s just not really using it for that? So I realized I would put the books somewhere else. Like in the stacks of books that we just have piled around the house. Do you like how my genius moment is going so far? I do.
biz
It’s going great. It’s really good. [Laughs.]
theresa
But anyways, I put the activity books and the coloring books in there, and I put an art set in there. So that when they’re playing in the play area, it’s part of the play area that there’s activity books and coloring books and crayons and stuff. And people have actually used them—
biz
Ooooh!
theresa
—without me having to say, like, [goofy voice] “Hey, should we dig out the activity books?” [Biz laughs.] [Regular voice] Y’know, trying to make a thing about it. They’re just there and they’re getting picked up and used sometimes now!
biz
I—wow!
theresa
Yeah!
biz
That—it’s very… it’s very 2020 to have our geniuses masked in such sadness and sorrow. [Laughs.] [Theresa laughs.] But I waded through it.
crosstalk
Biz: I thought that was great! Really good job! Theresa: Thank you. Thank you.
theresa
Thanks, Biz.
biz
So—speaking of things stacked up and just laying around collecting dust—my car. [Laughs.] My car, which we think is like 18 years old? It’s like trying to know what age your cat is. “Eh, I think we got it… and maybe it was already this old.” It’s old. I rolled down the windows with my hands. Like in a motion. Right? Nothing—
crosstalk
Biz: —just opened on its own. Nothing just magically— Theresa: Nothing is electronic. Yeah. No. Yeah.
biz
In fact, it did the opposite. The door for the back seat in which Ellis would sit in didn’t actually stay open very well. So not only would I be trying to get Ellis out of the car seat when they were a baby, I would get slammed in a car door. Like as well. Anyhoo. I took it in for servicing. It’s gotta be a week before the shutdown back in March. And they were like, “It’s great.” I’m like, “I doubt it, but okay.” And within three months, we hadn’t taken the car anywhere and we had not followed the advice of “drive it around the block” and so we could not get the battery to start. Then we tried jumping the battery. That also didn’t work. And it—even when we did drive it a little bit? I lied. We actually did take it out once or twice at the very start of COVID. It smelled so bad. Like it made us—like, you just knew it was—it was the smell of death. And so for the last bazillion months, we—it has sat up in the driveway. It’s more spiderweb now than it is car. And we donated it to KPCC, our local NPR station! [Theresa laughs.]
theresa
You did?
biz
Because every day on NPR, I hear them say, “Do you have an old car sitting in your driveway, taking up space?” Yes I do! I do! NPR? KPCC? And so I was like, “Let’s do it!” We did that and that feels like something good. [Laughs.]
theresa
That’s great. Should I ask—will you be replacing this vehicle?
biz
I don’t know. [Laughs.] [Theresa laughs.] Where do we have to go, Theresa? Now nobody panic because, “We live in Southern California. Oh my god. How will I get around?” Well, two ways. One, we still have Stefan’s old car. [Laughs.] And so we’re gonna try and be a one-car family since there’s nowhere to go, plus you may remember me from Let’s Make a Deal, where I won two electric bikes. [Laughs.] So beep-beep! Zoom! Watch out! Watch out! Here comes Biz, terrified on a bike. So there ya go.
theresa
Good job.
biz
Thank you.
caller
[Answering machine beeps.] Hey, One Bad Mother! This is a genius. I bought my kid some window-writer markers? Y’know, the kind that you’re supposed to be able to write on glass with and just watch off? I’m great. They like ‘em. But I love them. Now when I’m hanging out, just me and the nearly-two-year-old kid? We’re just sitting on the couch and I’m coloring the window. I’m drawing these elaborate designs. I’m enjoying designing things onto my window and I really like the way the sun comes through and turns the walls different colors! It’s like a rainbow in our living room now! And I think this is a genius. I don’t even have to be good at art. [Biz laughs.] I can wipe it right off after! Window writers. Genius. Thanks for the show, guys.
biz
Wow. You are a genius!
theresa
You are!
biz
You know what I discovered listening to this? That was the discovery that we can actually feel delight. Do you remember delight? [Laughs.]
theresa
Yup. Yeah.
biz
And when you stumble upon delight? Right? No strings attached. Just—that was delightful! I’m getting delight from this! That is so incredible!
theresa
It’s great. I think we too often fall into the trap of—when we’re home with our kids, we have to either be productive or doing something that’s for them. That’s helping them or connecting with them in some way. I love that this is neither of those things and yet it’s great. It’s… really good! For you and who says it’s not good for your kid?
biz
Oh, it’s great for your kid! This is the version of me imagining I would play guitar and my children would sing, or I would garden and my kids would be out either playing or like digging really thoughtfully with me? Right? Like, where I’m doing an activity that they also like. Right? And that never happened. Ever. And this is that! This is—you’re getting to draw. Your kid likes to draw. You get to write on the windows. Who doesn’t wanna do that? Rebel, rebel! I think you’re amazing.
theresa
So good.
biz
Failures.
clip
[Dramatic orchestral music plays in the background.] Theresa: [In a voice akin to the Wicked Witch of the West] Fail. Fail. Fail. FAIL! [Timpani with foot pedal engaged for humorous effect.] Biz: [Calmly] You suck! [Biz and Theresa repeatedly affirm each other as they discuss their respective failures of the week.]
biz
Fail me, Theresa.
theresa
Okay. Well the real fail is I keep just being really tense and not having time to exercise so I keep messing up different parts of my body? Like, tweaking my body in weird, terrible ways? So my neck is sore this morning. But also I have this rice-filled soft wrap that you can either keep in the freezer and it’s a cold pack or you can microwave it and heat it up and kind of tie it around your waist and it’s really good for your back. And I’ve been using it—I mean—probably for like a year or something? Maybe longer? It’s actually really awesome. It’s heavy. Like I said, it’s filled with rice. It’s very soft fabric on the outside and then what I do is when I first wake up in the morning I just microwave it for a couple minutes, wrap it around my waist, and then it kind of warms up my back so that if I do something sudden I don’t mess it up. It’s already warmed up. So this is [through laughter] a very important item in my life and also I use it a lot. And the other day I was like, “Oh, this is getting kind of—kinda needs to be washed!” It’s like fabric that’s been up against my skin a lot but it’s also been in the microwave a lot, and the microwave is not always clean and—
biz
No. It’s not clean.
theresa
Yeah! So I was like, “Alright. Just throw it in the wash, I guess.” [Biz laughs.]
biz
Wait. I just—can we all stop for one second?
theresa
Let’s stop.
biz
What is it filled with?
theresa
That is the question, Biz.
biz
Huh. Yeah.
theresa
I said it earlier and I’ll say it again—it’s filled with rice!
biz
Rice! Yeah.
theresa
It’s filled with rice. So… any guesses as to what would happen if you put it through the washing machine?
biz
You basically cooked the rice in a bag?
theresa
I cooked the rice. I cooked the rice in a bag. [Biz laughs.] Cooked the rice in a bag. And—
crosstalk
Theresa: So the—obviously— Biz: That has a faint taste of Theresa on it! [Laughs.]
theresa
[Laughs.] It became so full because of course the rice expands, and it became hard as a rock and crunchy. And I’m sure is gonna soon—I mean, I’m sure would rot. I mean, it just truly destroyed it. And there was a moment where I was like, “Wait. Did I…? Maybe this will be okay. Will it dry?” I was like, “Will it dry back out? Will the rice just dry back out, maybe?”
biz
Like raisins? Like raisins? They just go back?
theresa
It’s really dry here right now! Should I leave it outside! I was—I couldn’t—even though I knew like, wow, that was so stupid. If I had thought for two seconds. Y’know? But I just really didn’t want it to be gone because I use it so much. [Laughs.]
biz
I’m so sorry.
theresa
Now it is. Yep.
biz
I am so sorry.
theresa
No idea. No idea.
biz
You’re a horrible cook. [Theresa laughs.] You’re doing a horrible job at cooking. Okay! Ellis continues to enjoy the Switch game Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild. And by enjoy it, I play it a lot for him to do stuff. But now they’re into it just for the dragons. Ellis and Cat both do these incredible roleplaying sort of things while they’re—like, they pretend to be people in it. So Ellis is a dragon farmer going to find these pieces. Collecting dragons. And actually it’s fairly self=contained and, “Hey! I wanna make some dragon parts out of this clay I found!” “Okay. that’s great. Go for it.” And it’s that clay that you can then pop in the oven and cook it for, like, 20 minutes? Now listen. Every time anybody’s made anything with that clay in this house, it takes way more than 20 minutes.
theresa
It does. It takes a long time.
biz
Always!
theresa
Yeah. Us, too.
biz
Always! So I put it in. Ellis has made a dragon. A shard of dragon claw. A dragon scale. A shard of dragon fang. Like, all this stuff. And I just… I just burned it to a crisp! I mean, I burned it—
theresa
Oh, ‘cause it was like small pieces, probably.
crosstalk
Theresa: Like individual pieces. Yeah. Biz: Yeah. And they’re—y’know, it’s colored clay.
biz
So they were supposed to be this bright blue and bright red and I just burned it black. I mean, it was just—and so I’m trying to spin it like, “It’s so ooold!” [Laughs.]
theresa
Yeah. Yeah.
biz
“Woo! It’s aged with time and… long-ago lore!”
theresa
“It’s encountered fire and flame!”
biz
Yeah! “Flame and fire!” That’s right! Oldie. That was not satisfactory. And Ellis is definitely in a place right now where everything bad that happens to Ellis is someone’s fault. You made me sad. You did this to me. You burned my clay pieces. Your fault I’m crying right now. So… great.
theresa
Yeah.
biz
Yeah.
theresa
You really suck.
biz
I do! I am a monster.
theresa
You shouldn’t have burnt his art.
biz
I’m really trying to just stop fucking helping altogether. [Laughs.]
theresa
Yeah. I know.
caller
[Answering machine beeps.] Hi! This is a fail. So my husband and I decided to buy some string lights for the kids’ rooms because they like sleeping with a little bit of light on and we didn’t want to leave the light on all night. So we ordered them off of Amazon and the package came in and it was very small and it was—it didn’t look like it was lights? But regardless, we opened it. And it was not lights. It was a dildo. That was not what was ordered. [Laughs.] So I don’t know that this is necessarily our fault? But it is definitely a fail. [Biz laughs.] The only upside is that we did not let the kids open the package and we intercepted it before they got it. So yeah. I guess—be careful what you order! Anyway, you guys are doing a great job. Thanks for the show.
biz
Oh. [Conspiratorially] Sounds like this could turn into a genius to me! [Laughs.]
theresa
Yeah! [Laughs.] Oh, my god. Yeah.
biz
Wow. That… that is… remarkable. That is a remarkable surprise.
theresa
It is unexpected.
biz
It is not string lights.
theresa
No. [Biz laughs.] It’s not string lights. Definitely not.
biz
It will not solve your children’s need for a little extra light in their room at night.
crosstalk
Theresa: No. It’s not gonna work for that. Biz: It’s not gonna do it. Not—
biz
In fact, it may work better in the dark! I don’t know! I don’t know! It’s really up to what ya like. Well… that’s remarkable. I hope you didn’t double fail and send it back. Hey, heyyy! You’re doing a horrible job ordering things from the internet. God. [Laughs.]
music
“Mom Song” by Adira Amram. Mellow piano music with lyrics. You are the greatest mom I’ve ever known. I love you, I love you. When I have a problem, I call you on the phone. I love you, I love you. [Music fades out.]
music
Inspirational keyboard music plays in background.
biz
One Bad Mother is promoted in part by KiwiCo.
theresa
Gracie and I recently got the kit for making geometric candles? And when it came, I kind of took one look at it and was a little bit like, “…Okay…” because you guys know I don’t like doing projects with my kids— [Biz laughs.] —and making candles just seemed like something that would need a lot of my involvement and would get very messy and would potentially involved fire. But then I realized they really set it up for Gracie—who’s nine—to be able to just actually basically do the whole thing on her own. And she loved it!
biz
KiwiCo is redefining learning with hands-on projects that build confidence, creativity, and critical thinking skills. There’s something for every kid—or kid at heart—at KiwiCo. Get 50% off your first month, plus free shipping, on any crate with code “Badmother” at KiwiCo.com. That’s 50% off your first month at K-I-W-I-C-O.com, promo code “badmother.” [Music ends.]
promo
Brea Grant: Readers have a lot of problems. Mallory O’Meara: How do you juggle your holds at the library? Brea: How do you decide what to read next? Mallory: What do you do when you find out an author you love is a huge trash baby? Brea: I’m Brea Grant. Mallory: And I’m Mallory O’Meara. Brea: And we’re the hosts of Reading Glasses. Mallory: We’re here to solve all your reader problems. And along the way, help you figure out— Brea: Your reader wheelhouse? Mallory: Which are the things that will absolutely make you pick up a book. Our listener favorites tend to be “magic” and “a woman on a journey.” Brea: And also birds, for some reason? Mallory: Your reader doghouse. Brea: Yeah. That’s the things that’ll make you avoid a book. Mallory: Ugh. Love triangles stress me out so much. Reading Glasses! Brea: Every Thursday on MaximumFun.org.
promo
Music: Chill, rhythmic synth music plays in background. Jesse Thorn: Hey, friends! Jesse here, the founder of Maximum Fun, and I have some really great news to share with you. This year has brought a lot of changes for all of us, and one tradition that we were grateful to be able to hold onto is our annual pin sale to benefit charity. This year, through your generosity and love of pins, you helped raise $95,400 for GiveDirectly. If you’re a member and you bought pins, they’ll ship in January. In the meantime, your support will provide direct cash relief to families impacted by COVID-19 across the United States. Even in this incredibly tough year, the MaxFun community remains extraordinarily kind. And whether or not you bought pins, you can continue to help by heading to GiveDIrectly.org. And as always, thank you. [Music fades out.]
biz
Well, everyone? Here we are! Time… for our favorite part of the show. Today I’m going to remotely hold Theresa’s hand and brush her hair while we settle in and listen to a mom have a breakdown.
caller
[Answering machine beeps.] Hi, guys. I’m calling with a rant. I guess the best part of calling you guys with a rant is I can just put it out there and not get some friendly advice on how to really fix it. So here it goes. Yesterday, I picked my six-year-old up from first grade and he tells me that he’s making a new friend named Emma. He says, “Emma loves pickles!” Just like my son loves pickles. And he brings a pickle in his lunch every day. So we talk about packing two pickles. And sharing a pickle with his new friend. And then my son says, “No mom. Because of COVID, I can’t share a pickle with Emma.” And I got so mad. I have dealt with everything that COVID has thrown our way. I took on all the parenting. All my work stuff has been terrible. And I took on that. And now—on top of everything else—COVID has to make the regular stuff worse, too. Because my son has a terrible time making friends. He wants me to go over to the other little kids on the playground and ask if he can swing with them. And he’s finally making progress asking Emma if she wants a pickle. But no. So there it is. Just another way that COVID’s making this worse for all of us. I appreciate you guys being there. I appreciate your podcast. Keep up the good work.
biz
You are doing such a good job.
theresa
Yeah. You are.
biz
I’m so glad that—I’m not glad you’re having this pickle experience. But I am glad that you called in, because we do sometimes focus mainly on the… sort of big ways that COVID and the pandemic and all the things that go with it are affecting us. Work. Living. Paying for things. Food insecurities. Y’know? I mean, like—not being able to see family for the holidays! There are really big, obvious ones. And I don’t think we’re always tuned in to the really small ones? I think about—you’re living somewhere where your child gets to do some combination of in-school learning. And I think when—I think the big view of that—right? Stereotypically is “Lucky! How great! You get to—” Y’know? Like, mm, whatever. Which we know isn’t true. But you think worst-case you’re dealing with making sure you remember a mask or, y’know, really worst case is somebody getting sick. But not the little things like making friends and… sharing. Pickles. Right? Like…
theresa
Yeah. It is. It’s one of those small things that’s actually such a huge thing. It’s so formative. Y’know? It’s one of those things that… it’s so hard to feel helpless in these moments? ‘Cause I know I had that same reaction, too, Biz, where first I’m hearing like, “Oh, your child is able to go in person and see other kids! Like, how awesome is that?” Because everybody’s talking about the lagging social skills of kids being on Zoom all day. But there’s also the social impact of just the social distancing that all our kids have to do everywhere they go in the world. And the masks and not being able to read other people as well. I know I also have trouble understanding people a lot of times when they’re wearing masks? And being heard? It’s very—y’know, our kids are going through this as well. And for your little guy who’s just starting to make friends—I’m really happy for him! And I hope and assume that the pickle thing is a way bigger deal to you than it is to him and Emma, because clearly they made a connection regardless. Of what’s going on. But yes! These are these things that we can’t control and they are so unfair.
biz
You are doing an amazing job? And… so is your child? And so is Emma? You are amazing.
theresa
Yes. You are.
biz
Theresa? [Singing] You are amazing! [Regular voice] And guess what? I think the tow truck is here right now. [Laughs.]
theresa
Yayyy! [Laughs.]
biz
[Singing] Nothing like trying to do many things! [Regular voice] Anyway. I think you’re remarkable and amazing and I am so glad to see you, and I hope you have a really wonderful Thanksgiving.
theresa
Thanks, Biz.
biz
Whatever that looks like.
theresa
Whatever it is—I have no idea what it will be. But it will be what it is. [Biz laughs.] It was really good to see you. Happy Thanksgiving to everybody. Talk to you guys next week.
biz
Bye.
theresa
Bye.
biz
Are we still talking about what we’re thankful for? I am thankful for Theresa, who has had to depart. Waa! That makes me so sad, but I am always thankful when she is able to be here. And what did we learn today, everyone? We learned it’s always hard to say goodbye to Theresa after we get to speak with her. We learned that if you’re going to be a liar, you better be good at it. Apparently people think that women are liars! What crazy world are we living in?! We also learned, guys, that it’s Thanksgiving. They’re here. The holidays—they came. They’re here. COVID or not. Thanksgiving is happening probably right now. You’re probably hiding in the bathroom, which we always recommend during the holidays. This is a particularly difficult holiday for as much as we love the old trope of how much we don’t like getting together with relatives, this year we really can’t? In many situations. And that is really hard. We cannot see the people we wanna see. We may have lost a lot of people. And… just… try to remember we don’t know what’s going on with anybody that we see, and… let’s just assume they’re where we are. Trying to get through it every day. And I just want to say I see you. And… we’re all having a hard time with this together? And if you have found a way to see relatives, I—that’s also wonderful and congratulations and I hope no one fucking talks about politics. I mean, that’s sort of my positive spin on the holidays right now? Is if you truly hate getting together with your family and you’ve always dreamed of just fucking staying in pajamas all day and movie marathoning it? This is it! You get it! You get your holiday wish! [Laughs.] No hiding in the bathroom ‘cause we’re all… alone in our house celebrating together. That is what we are gonna do. We are gonna movie marathon it all day on Thanksgiving! And maybe eat hotdogs. But probably not, because Stefan likes to cook Thanksgiving stuff. So alright. We’re gonna have Thanksgiving stuff. We also learned… that… I am incredibly thankful for the show. For Gabe, our new producer. I am incredibly thankful for Theresa, and I am incredibly thankful to all of you for continuing to be part of the One Bad Mother community. You’re all doing an amazing job. You are doing a remarkable job. Guess what? This year, you can’t fuck up Thanksgiving. Ta-da! You can’t! No one’s gonna see you! Ta-da! You’re amazing. And I will talk to you next week. Bye!
music
“Mama Blues” by Cornbread Ted and the Butterbeans. Strumming acoustic guitar with harmonica and lyrics. _I got the lowdown momma blues_ Got the lowdown momma blues Gots the lowdown momma blues The lowdown momma blues Gots the lowdown momma blues Got the lowdown momma blues You know that’s right [Music fades somewhat, plays in background of dialogue.]
biz
We’d like to thank MaxFun; our producer, Gabe Mara; our husbands, Stefan Lawrence and Jesse Thorn; our perfect children, who provide us with inspiration to say all these horrible things; and of course, you, our listeners. To find out more about the songs you heard on today’s podcast and more about the show, please go to MaximumFun.org/onebadmother. For information about live shows, our book and press, please check out OneBadMotherPodcast.com.
theresa
One Bad Mother is a member of the Maximum Fun family of podcasts. To support the show go to MaximumFun.org/donate. [Music continues for a while before fading out.]
music
A cheerful ukulele chord.
speaker 2
Comedy and culture.
speaker 3
Artist owned—
speaker 4
—Audience supported.
About the show
One Bad Mother is a comedy podcast hosted by Biz Ellis about motherhood and how unnatural it sometimes is. We aren’t all magical vessels!
Join us every week as we deal with the thrills and embarrassments of motherhood and strive for less judging and more laughing.
Call in your geniuses and fails: 206-350-9485. For booking and guest ideas, please email onebadmother@maximumfun.org. To keep up with One Bad Mother on social media, follow @onebadmothers on Twitter and Instagram.
Get in touch with the show
onebadmother@maximumfun.org
@OneBadMothers
@onebadmothers
How to listen
Stream or download episodes directly from our website, or listen via your favorite podcatcher!
