JJHo

Judge John Hodgman Episode 267: Deadly Poke Bush

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Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn are in chambers this week as they clear the docket! They discuss how to handle dropped silverware in restaurants, whether or not you should bring an open bottle of wine to a gathering, a contentious game of Trivial Pursuit, and more!

Plus letters regarding Bonus Episode Livin' That CALI415 Life and Episode 158: Tipping the Scales of Justice.

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Tickets for the Judge John Hodgman: Live Justice tour of the Northeast and London are on sale now and selling out quickly! Check out the right hand side of this page or JohnHodgman.com/tour for details!

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 266: Exit, Stage Fright

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Guests: 
Andrew from JJHo Episode 151: Sic Semper Dramatis

If you want to purchase a Kung Pao Finance Factory t-shirt, inspired by last week's episode, TIME IS RUNNING OUT! You may purchase a t-shirt here, through June 22!

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Tom brings the case against his friend Trinity. Trinity longs to be discovered and believes she was “born for the theater.” Despite her enthusiasm for theater and performing, she refuses to try community theater. He thinks she should get over her fear and go for it. Who's right? Who's wrong?

This week, with Expert Witness Andrew from Judge John Hodgman Episode 151: Sic Semper Dramatis!

EVIDENCE

Submitted by Tom

Click here to watch the video of Trinity singing "Proud Mary" at Karaoke!

Thank you to Trevor Haworth & Eli Dennewitz for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put a call for submissions.

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Tickets for the Judge John Hodgman: Live Justice tour of the Northeast and London are on sale now and selling out quickly! Check out the right hand side of this page or JohnHodgman.com/tour for details!

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 265: Dad Nauseum

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Daniel brings the case against his dad, Kevin. He says Kevin overuses the same joke with service industry workers, which the rest of the family finds embarrassing. Kevin thinks it’s a funny joke that brightens people’s day. Who's right, who's wrong?

Here is a recording of "Kung Pao Chicken" by David Tao:

You can buy the t-shirt inspired by this week's episode FOR A LIMITED TIME here!

Thank you to Chris Fazio for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put a call for submissions.

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Tickets for the Judge John Hodgman: Live Justice tour of the Northeast and London are on sale now! Check out the right hand side of this page or JohnHodgman.com/tour for details!

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 264: Paw and Order

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Guests: 
Monica Murphy
Guests: 
Emily Brewster

Martha brings the case against her boyfriend, Chase. She says Chase is set on taking their cats outside on leashes, but she thinks they should stay indoors. Chase says the cats have expressed interest in the outdoors and would benefit from a safe and supervised adventure.

With Expert Witness, Monica Murphy, veterinarian and co-author of Rabid: A Cultural History of the World's Most Diabolical Virus!

PLUS, the debut of our segment, "Jesse and Me Talk Good," with Merriam-Webster's Emily Brewster. Judge Hodgman, Bailiff Jesse and Emily discuss a matter of SETTLED LAW and Merriam-Webster's declaration that a hot dog IS a sandwich!

Thank you to Kimberly Mayhall for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put a call for submissions.

EVIDENCE

Submitted by Martha

The video referenced in this article, which shows Jackson Galaxy teaching Stephanie Clifford of The New York Times how to walk a cat on a leash:

Submitted by Chase

"Not all cats will want to be walked on a leash, but every cat should be given the opportunity.
Walking a cat can provide your pet with a more enriched life. 'A lot of cats love to go outside and smell things, see things and roll around in sand and grass and dirt. They love to scratch real trees. Those are things they can do on a walk,' Woodard said."
From this Huffington Post article.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 263: In Combat Chambers

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Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn are in chambers this week, discussing listening to Hamilton before seeing the show, the famous noise from Law and Order, the sporty merits of cheerleading and more!

Plus, some letters in response to Episode 258, In Moto Parentis.

Tickets are still on sale for Judge John Hodgman's Live East Coast Tour! Get them while you still can! Check out the right hand side of this page or visit www.johnhodgman.com/tour!

Do you have a case for Judge John Hodgman? We're always taking submissions at maximumfun.org/jjho. If you're hoping to try your case live in front of an audience at one of the East Coast dates, please let us know your city in your submission!

Judge John Hodgman Episode 262: Capital T and That Rhymes With P and That Stands for Justice

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Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn clear the docket and rule on pizza ordering, when to watch the next season of Game of Thrones, cereal dust, learning to drive as an adult and more.

Judge John Hodgman is going on tour to dispense live justice with Bailiff Jesse Thorn! Mark your calendars and get your tickets! Check out the right hand side of this page or visit www.johnhodgman.com/tour!

Here's a list of Hong Kong recommendations from listener Joseph, in reference to the Baggage Claims episode:

Take the airport train into the city and get off at Kowloon station. The station is connected to the International Commerce Center, which has a bar on the top floor (the 118th) called Ozone. It's in the Ritz Carlton, and the concierge will offer to store your bags while you go up (it's free and not as awkward as it sounds). The bar itself is a little too sleek for its own good, but even if you're not a member of the Mossack Fonseca crowd, it's worth going for the view. Order a beer and go to the semi-enclosed outdoor area and you'll look across the harbor and see the world's most impressive skyline from its tallest building. Not bad!

In terms of food, Hong Kong is best know for two things: dim sum and siu mei (the roast meat you see hanging in restaurant windows). For dim sum, if you're not afraid to go local and fight their way past the hungry grandmas, I would go to Lin Heung (two locations: one in Central and the other in Sheung Wan, both on Hong Kong island). They're both very local and well established, but the staff probably won't know much English. The other option is to go to a more foreigner-friendly place where they can order from a menu. There's no shame in this option and I would suggest Dim Sum Square in Sheung Wan. Sheung Wan is our kind of hipster neighborhood, so you can check out the galleries and cafes and whatever on Tai Ping Shan Street.

For siu mei, the heavy hitter is Joy Hing, which is located near the bar district in Wan Chai. It's been around forever and has or had a Michelin star. I usually get a plate of rice and a mix of barbecue pork (char siu) and that crispy roasted pork with the snappy skin (siu yuk). But really the standard of all these siu mei places is quite high, so you can pop into any shop you see. My neighborhood spot-- Sun Yuen on Queen's Road West--is great too. Wherever you go, it shouldn't cost more than maybe 6 USD.

As for going out, my favorite spot is Visage 1. By day it's a single-chair salon on a hidden alley down some steps from one of the nightlight areas (Soho). On Saturday nights, however, it turns into a jazz(ish) bar. It gets incredibly cramped (there's no stage), but there's always excellent live music. You don't have to be a "jazz person" to enjoy it. I spent one of my best nights there getting jabbed in the ribs by the bow of a fiddler in a bluegrass band comprised of off-duty Disney performers.

I'd also suggest you stroll around Mong Kok, which is the neighborhood people think of when they think of Hong Kong. It's crowded and filled with those iconic neon lights (for now--the government is campaigning to reduce light pollution, so they won't be around much longer). The area around Public Square Street is a good spot for people watching and the kind of street life theater that makes it fun to live in a city: old people do their outdoor karaoke and there are a lot of sex shops and fortune tellers. There's one guy who uses a psychic bird to read your fortune. It can be a bit dodgy but you'll be fine. The neighborhood also is home to the city's Nepalese community and there's at least one great Filipino restaurant, Belinda's Food Trip, which I think is staffed by off-duty domestic helpers and the food is top notch. Fun to walk around in, especially at night.

Hong Kong isn't a cultural superpower, but there are some things to check out. Cantonese opera is a dying art, so you should catch a show at the Sunbeam Theatre before their lease expires. Nearby is Oi!, a exhibition space housed in a nice colonial building, and Parasite, a contemporary art center that gets artists from across Asia. Back across the harbor is an 'artist village' called Cattle Depot which has people doing interesting work; there's a great arts space there called Videotage which does a lot of installation art and new media stuff. And there's the burgeoning artistic hub in post-industrial spaces in Chai Wan, though I don't know much about it. The museums are all a bit meh, except for the charmingly awkward Geological Museum on the campus of Hong Kong University. Actually, across campus the University Museum has a decent collection of Chinese antiquities and paintings. Nice old-school tea room, too.

Finally, you should get out of the city. Two suggestions: hike/walk/ramble across a small mountain called Dragon's Back on the south side of HK island. It can be crowded (it's Hong Kong!) but it has beautiful views of the coast and you'll usually see a few paragliders in the sky. The trail ends near Shek O, a little beach town caught in the 60s. You can take a bus back to the city. Easy and worth it. The other choice is to spend a day on Cheung Chau island. The island doesn't allow cars and really there's just one fishing village, so it's pretty slow paced compared to the rest of HK. Good seafood too. You can walk around the island in a couple hours. There's also a decent beach there, which I think is where one of HK's few Olympic gold medalists learned to wind surf. Take the ferry from Pier 5 in Central to get there.

Also, it's a long flight, so there's plenty of time to read Ackbar Abbas' Hong Kong: Culture and Politics of Disappearance. I've never read a more insightful account of the forces that have shaped this city, both physically and culturally. It's probably at the library and worth a look.

One more tip: you definitely should not go to Lan Kwai Fong, our dystopian nightlife district, unless you're into getting vomited on by drunk Australians.

Thank you, Joseph!

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 261: Grand Theft Risotto

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Guests: 
Kenji Lopez-Alt

KLAXON KLAXON Judge John Hodgman is going on tour to dispense live justice with Bailiff Jesse Thorn! Mark your calendars and get your tickets! Check out the right hand side of this page or visit www.johnhodgman.com/tour! That is all.

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Mike brings the case against his mom, Maribeth. He says Maribeth knowingly took her daughter-in-law's recipes for a family cookbook and passed them off as her own. Maribeth says that the attribution was implied and there was no wrongdoing.

This week with Expert Witness Kenji López-Alt, Managing Culinary Director of Serious Eats and author of The Food Lab!

Thanks to Jonathan Reiter for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put a call for submissions.

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EVIDENCE

Submitted by Mike

Click to view the PDF of The Brogan Family Cookbook

Judge John Hodgman Episode 260: All Laws are Off

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Judge John Hodgman rules on overfilling ice cube trays, the best spelling of Elliot for a baby, dog park etiquette, podcast recommendations and more.

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And Check out David's Patreon to crush Matt!

If you're curious to know about Magic the Gathering methods suggested by listeners, you can find them below!

Hannah suggested that the friends play:
"Constructed, in which players make their decks ahead of time with whatever cards they can get their hands on. This format is the problem the plaintiff is complaining about.
Or drafting, where they each open a pack of cards and take turns picking cards from those packs until each has built a suitable deck for play. At which point, the two play with these new decks that did not exist prior to the game at hand."

Mark suggested another mode of play:
"I've used this one in friendly, non-tournament play and it helps even the playing field. Everyone brings their favorite decks, and each player randomly selects one of the decks that was brought." Essentially, each player has an equal chance of using an "overpowered" deck during a given match.

and Gabe thought of these:
Reject rare draft
(in which each player donates 45 cards and then drafts cards. The rares are "donated", as everyone takes home the deck they draft and no attempt is made to return the rares to the original owners.)

Peasant
(In Peasant a deck may contain up to 5 uncommon cards and the rest must be common. Peasant Magic was created by Rob Baranowski who felt that players with limited access to cards should still have an opportunity for competitive play.)

Back draft
(where each player tries to build the worst deck possible, because each player gives another player that deck to play in the tournament.)

Sponsored Bonus Episode: Livin' That CALI415 Life

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Guests: 
Rhea Butcher

BONUS: Judge John Hodgman, Bailiff Jesse Thorn and Expert Witness and Automotive Enthusiast Rhea Butcher clear an all-automobile-related docket in a sponsored bonus episode of Judge John Hodgman. They'll weigh in on whether you can avoid being a jerk with a vanity plate, how to decide whose car to drive to the malt shop, new-car advice, and more!

Rhea Butcher's upcoming show Take My Wife will be available on Seeso.

Here's an amazing extended list of best practices from listener and car expert Nick:

* Warming up your car in the winter. In the vast majority of instances, this is unnecessary. This is something that people typically do for their own comfort. They claim that the warm-up is good for the car, but they tell themselves that to assuage their guilt about wasting fuel, polluting unnecessarily, and perhaps doing more harm than good to their car. The crux, for most of these people, is dishonesty and laziness. The car is designed to be warmed up by driving gently until normal operating temperature is reached.

Exceptions include: older carbureted vehicles, sub-zero temperatures, some turbocharged vehicles

* Proper air conditioning use. The proper way to cool a car’s interior quickly after it’s been baking in the sun is to turn the A/C to the coldest setting, set the blower motor to high, be sure the intake is in the fresh air position (not recirculate), and roll all the windows down. This is the fastest way to get the car comfortably cool. I have a friend who refuses to believe this, claiming that the best practice is to keep the windows up. He is wrong and will stay wrong.

Exceptions include: rain, insect swarm, otherwise foul circumstances

A note on fresh air vs. recirculate: the best strategy is to keep the setting on fresh air, using the recirculate setting sparingly as conditions dictate. Keeping the selector set to recirculate all the time can lead to the car smelling stale, making the car’s owner “that guy” with the gross car. The smell comes on slowly enough that “that guy” is the last one to know how gross he is.

* Fast lane etiquette. The primary purpose of the far left lane is passing. Cruising in the left lane is not only rude and entitled, it often leads to clusters of traffic and encourages frustrated drivers to attempt to make up for lost time by speeding. Furthermore, the fast lane is no place to prove a point to the car behind you. The proper thing to do is make way for faster cars should they approach from behind, helping to prevent traffic clusters. The faster car, after remaining behind the slower car for a sensible amount of time, is permitted a quick flash of the headlights to signal the driver in front. That driver’s responsibility is to make way without taking offense.

Exceptions include: HOV lanes, heavy traffic, surface roads

* Clearing snow and ice before driving. All piled snow should be removed from the vehicle in a way which doesn’t cause damage to the paint. In most cases, a brush will suffice. Once bulk of the snow has been removed, every window and mirror on the car should be cleared entirely, along with every exterior light (brake lights, headlights, turn signals, etc.).

No exceptions.

Thanks, Nick!

Judge John Hodgman Episode 259: No Acquitting for Taste

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Abtin brings the case against his girlfriend Kelsey over the decor in their new apartment. Abtin wants to go modern and classy. Kelsey says that would be boring and wants furnishings that are more quirky and unique.

BONUS: In reference to the docket item submitted by home-schooled fantasy writer Hunter in Episode 252, we have an audio letter from the Fresh Bananaman Jonathan Niederer. Listen here!

Thanks to Karen Polowick for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put a call for submissions.

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EVIDENCE

Submitted by Abtin

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