TRANSCRIPT Oh No Ross and Carrie: Ross and Carrie Detox their Soles (Part 2): Foot Pads Edition

Ross and Carrie sleep away their toxins and collect their germy juices in a disgusting stew on the soles of their feet, with the help of detox foot pads. They examine the ingredients, patent, relevant studies, and history of these mysterious devices.

Podcast: Oh No, Ross and Carrie!

Episode number: 218

Transcript

music

Oh No, Ross and Carrie! Theme Song” by Brian Keith Dalton. A jaunty, upbeat instrumental.

ross blocher

Hello, and welcome to Oh No, Ross and Carrie!, the show where we don’t just report on fringe science, spirituality, and claims of the paranormal, but take part ourselves.

carrie poppy

Yup, when they make the claims, we show up so you don’t have to. I’m Carrie Poppy.

ross

And I’m Ross Blocher, and we’re talking about our feet again.

carrie

We’re “toxin” (talking) about our feet.

ross

Oh ho!

carrie

Woah, okay, I’m already ready to go!

ross

“Toxin” about our feet. Carrie’s on. Carrie’s ready. Yeah, what is this foot obsession we’ve developed lately?

carrie

That’s our thing. It’s always been our thing. That’s not true.

ross

Last week we talked about detox foot baths, ionic foot baths, and we’re back this time to talk about detox foot pads.

carrie

Woah.

ross

A similar, related concept at least, if different product; and the idea is that there are these pads that you can stick to the bottom of your feet, they have adhesives—

carrie

And they draw out the toxins out of your feet.

ross

Yeah, you’ve got all these bad things in your feet, these toxins, and I suppose if you were to ask someone, “What do you mean by toxins?” Well, they’d bluster, but you’d also hear about—

carrie

Heavy metals.

ross

Yeah. Maybe air pollutants. Food pollutants. GMOs.

carrie

GMOs. Vaccines maybe. [Carrie responds emphatically as Ross speaks.]

ross

Ohh, yeah! So all these things supposedly, you know—chemicals! There we go—in our environment that we need to avoid, all these things are in our body. So, they be pulled out of your feet while you sleep, usually, seems to be the idea. This takes a while. They want to leave them on your feet for a few hours.

carrie

Yeah. And you might be thinking, “Why my feet in particular?” Well, that’s because when you stand up, all the blood circulates and pools to the bottom of your feet, it’s where the, you know— I’m getting this from the website, I’m not sure if it’s true; but gravity, man. All the blood goes to your feet at some point!

ross

There also seems to be a refrain linking these to reflexology—

carrie

Oh, like acupressure points.

ross

Yeah, that this ties into ancient Asian medical secrets, knowing the points in the feet that correspond to other parts of the body and help cure them. At least, for a couple of these products that we ended up looking at, they would make references to that; though I’m not sure exactly how that body mapping that reflexology references—and we have done an episode on reflexology in the past, you might want to check that out—I’m not sure how that’s supposed to be related to just purely leeching toxins out of the feet.

carrie

Yeah, especially because, at least the ones I had, didn’t say to put it on a particular part of my foot.

ross

True, same with mine. Yeah, I think they were just vaguely trying to call the imprimatur of the ancient Chinese medicine, or the ancient Asian medicine. So we bought some of these foot detox pads, and I went on kind of a wild online buying spree on Amazon. If you do a search for foot detox pads, you find a lot of products.

carrie

Yeah? You bought these, so tell me what you found.

ross

Now, the name that I had associated with this whole product class was Kinoki foot pads, and I think that’s the best known one. The IIG had done an investigation of them in the past, so that was kind of in my head. They had infomercials back in the day. So, it had kind of become the Kleenex of foot pads.

carrie

Wow. Man, I don’t feel like I ever heard about Kinoki foot pads.

ross

Oh, interesting. So I’m not sure how big of a thing this is, but at least it had always been my touch point for foot pads.

carrie

And what does kinoki mean?

ross

Well, according to one answer I found online, it means ‘wood’ or ‘wood sap’. Something like that. So when I did a search on Amazon, it brought up a ton of results for different foot pads. And I just did a search for ‘detox foot pads’, and I started buying ones that had interesting claims attached to them. I noticed that most of them were a little circumspect, at least in not wanting to outright say “this removes toxins”; but usually if I did a search on the page for “toxins” I could find at least someone in the comments asking about toxins, and then someone giving a very positive response from the company.

carrie

It does have a warning on one of these that says “this product is not intended to treat, diagnose, cure, or alleviate the effects of diseases.”

ross

Ah, okay. So you’re looking at the Nuvoly pads. The Nuvoly pads were twenty bucks, and there were thirty of them, so those were actually the cheapest page that we got. They came out to 67 cents per pad on average, so there you go. If you’re looking for discount foot pads. What does it say on the box?

carrie

“Two-in-one, energy, natural cleanse, six lavender, six ginger, six rose, six wormwood, six green tea, 100% GMO-free, 100% natural, 30 foot pads!”

ross

On the Amazon page, there is a graphic that says they are vegan and GMO-free, and you noticed something.

carrie

They aren’t. [Laughs] So, one of the ingredients is chitosan, which is taken from shellfish.

ross

Crustaceans.

carrie

Yeah, crustaceans. It’s also funny that they would call it vegan, because under the important disclaimer, it says “do not use if allergic to shellfish.”

ross

[Laughs] Interesting.

carrie

Hmm.

ross

At least on the box it doesn’t say vegan, but it definitely does on this product page on Amazon. It starts to suggest that some of the ingredients, saying these are the highest quality versions of said, but you’ve got bamboo vinegar, rare minerals—

carrie

Oh, good.

ross

—and pure plant extracts that come right from the Earth.

carrie

Right from the Earth?

ross

Right from the Earth.

carrie

Woah. That’s very cool.

ross

Free of harmful toxins and manmade impurities.

carrie

Mm. God damn that man.

ross

And then here’s the appeal to the ancestors, we’ve got, “Ancestor’s remedies! Kinoki foot pads—” Oh, that’s interesting. This text actually refers to Kinoki foot pads, but this is a different brand.

carrie

Oh. Weird.

ross

“—have been used in Eastern cultures as natural healing remedies for thousands of years.”

carrie

Thousands of years?

ross

I don’t know about that.

carrie

That’s interesting.

ross

The foot pads. Hmm.

carrie

It’s interesting because I found the patents for this, and at least in the United States, it was patented in 2008.

ross

[Laughs] Also the year that the FDA kind of laid the smackdown on Kinoki for their claims.

carrie

Really? Oh.

ross

Yeah. And I’m getting way ahead of our storytelling here, but go FDA.

carrie

Why? What was the FDA cracking down on? False claims, or fraud, or?

ross

Yeah, for making all these claims about removing toxins.

carrie

Wow.

ross

So, we’ll get to that.

carrie

But, so, these are still being sold, and they still say toxins on the box. I’m holding up the Kinoki box in particular.

ross

So, I’m curious about this, because I tried going to the official Kinoki website, which is actually linked to from one of these product pages when I bought it via Groupon, and the official website is down. It’s just a nonfunctioning website, but I was able to go into the internet archive and pull up older versions of the website from previous years, and it was still making claims there.

carrie

Well, here on the box it says, “dispel toxins and maintain beauty, only by one night. Black and oily toxins come out from… vola?” Come out from vola? V-O-L-A?

ross

Huh. Okay.

carrie

Maybe they meant “voilà”.

ross

Voilà! Et voilà!

carrie

Yeah, close enough. “Cleanse and energize your body. It works while you sleep!”

ross

Yeah, look at this. The Kiyome-Kinoki official website, you go to it now, and you get the Japanese characters, but clearly it’s not a developed website, it’s just a shell of what used to be a website.

carrie

Interesting. I wonder if Kinoki is even still registered as a business in these United States. I think you can only look in the state in which it’s registered. Well, this will be a cool thing for me to obsess about tonight.

ross

I’m going to pull it up on the Wayback Machine though, and show you what the website used to look like.

carrie

[Making strange sci-fi-esque noises with her mouth] Do-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo! [Normal voice, matter-of-factly] That’s my time traveling noise. What’s your favorite time travel story, Ross?

ross

Back To The Future.

carrie

Oh, wow. A quick answer. He knew right away, folks. He knew right away.

ross

It’s about time, if I had to summarize it. How about you, what’s your favorite time travel story?

carrie

Your Name.

ross

Aw, that’s such a good movie.

carrie

So good.

ross

That’s a great movie. You should all watch Your Name.

carrie

Second favorite?

ross

I don’t think this is actually my second favorite, but the second one that came to mind was that Christopher Reeve film, Somewhere In Time.

carrie

Oh, okay, I don’t know what—

ross

It’s, uh, a romance. I dunno, my mom got hooked on it for a while, so I watched it many times. This is what would happen, my mom would find one movie that she couldn’t stop watching, and she’d watch it forty times in a row—

carrie

Oh, wow.

ross

—on VHS, and she would just want to have it on like, every day.

carrie

It’s like a living Groundhog Day.

ross

So then I would see it a million times and she’d fall asleep on it. [Carrie laughs.] This was my life growing up. Sleepless In Seattle.

carrie

Oh, that’s a good movie.

ross

I’ve seen that many times. It is, but you can watch it too many times.

carrie

I believe that.

ross

And what was the one with Sandra Bullock?

carrie

Oh, While You Were Sleeping?

ross

Yes. Oh, that one, too.

carrie

So, like, anything with the word sleep in the title?

ross

Pretty much.

carrie

The Big Sleep?

ross

My mom would fall asleep—

carrie

Did she like The Big Sleep?

ross

No.

carrie

My second favorite is Our Town. Third favorite, A Christmas Carol.

ross

Ah.

carrie

Oh, also, Run Lola Run. Oh shit, that’s up there.

ross

I haven’t seen that.

carrie

Oh, it’s so good.

ross

Oh, I know a really good time travel film by Colin Trevorrow, Safety Not Guaranteed.

carrie

Never heard of it.

ross

Oh, that’s a good film.

carrie

Okay.

ross

Anyway, so, if we go back in the internet archives Wayback Machine—

carrie

And we will.

ross

—you can see the official, that same URL, the Kiyome-Kinoki website back in 2016 when it was bright and shiny and working; and they're advertising these As Seen On TV products that we now hold. So my theory is, we’re just buying existing—

carrie

Back catalog.

ross

—inventory. Right, from—in this case, you found a Groupon. I had already bought three other brands of foot pads, and felt we have all the foot pads we need in this lifetime. [Both laugh.] But you had found actual Kinoki pads and I thought—

carrie

If there’s a Groupon, I’m gonna find it.

ross

—”I should buy the actual name brand ones.” But the funny thing is that Groupon was saying that these two boxes each contain—

carrie

Sixty?

ross

Ten pads.

carrie

Ten. Okay, I was close.

ross

Well, sixty is what they were claiming it was worth. They were saying a $69.99 value.

carrie

Oh my God.

ross

Which is absurd, because nobody is selling them for that.

carrie

No.

ross

So the actual Groupon was $15. So those came to 75 cents per pad. There was also a brand called EntreFeet pads.

carrie

[French accent] Oh, entre feet. Okay.

ross

Those were the most expensive at a dollar per pad.

carrie

Okay. Okay.

ross

And then we also got the Sandholt pads for 85 cents per pad. So there you go, there’s your range, 67 cents to 100 cents per pad.

carrie

And not per pair, but for individual pads?

ross

Individual pads, yeah.

carrie

Got it.

ross

I wonder what they were using to keep them on their feet back in the ancient days, before they had modern adhesives.

carrie

It is possible that these existed before 2008, but I’m gonna guess not thousands of years.

ross

Wow, looking at this old Kinoki website, eight boxes of Kinoki cleansing detox foot pads, $106.50.

carrie

Wow.

ross

Goodness. Okay. So, we have yet though to actually test out this claim. Does this work?

carrie

Yes. That’s it for our show.

ross

[Laughs] Our theme music— uh, so we did try them, quite a few different brands. I spent most of the time with the EntreFeet all natural foot pads.

carrie

I love that name.

ross

Yeah. And this is a common theme as well, some of them are infused with different aromas. So these ones are lavender and rose aroma infused.

carrie

Love it.

ross

You know, they smell good.

carrie

I see that it’s made by a Dr. Entre.

ross

Yes, right, Dr. Entre. They smell like a tea bag, quite nice.

carrie

I’m smelling them, you guys. Yeah, very chamomile-y. One of the bad teas, but oh well.

ross

So you open it up, and there are these little individual plastic baggies, and it looks very much like a tea bag. If someone just handed me this, I’d start steeping it in hot water.

carrie

Yup, and in fact I have done so. But, we’ll get there.

ross

Okay. Oh, right. So this one says, “Lavender. Please put adhesive sheet on this side.” It’s got a little icon with a foot and leaves, very pretty. So, then you stick that onto your foot, and then there’s a separate sheet that comes out. There’s a bunch of adhesive strips, and this is pretty common across all of these foot pads we tried. The only difference is some of them had all of this put together for you, so you just take off the backing of the adhesive pad and stick it straight onto your foot. DIY.

carrie

Yeah, a little put it together yourself.

ross

That’s how you save money on these pads, I guess.

carrie

Yeah, probably.

ross

And so, I would put them on before I’d go to sleep, and my wife would shake her head at me—

carrie

My wife.

ross

—disappointedly. “What is wrong with you?”

carrie

“Why did I marry this fool?”

ross

And I think maybe one of the reasons why they encourage people to put them on at night is just because then you’re not putting all the stress and strain on the adhesives, walking around all day.

carrie

It also gives them a long time to work. Whatever it is they’re doing, it gives them some time to do it.

ross

Yeah, you don’t want to like, put them on and then pull them off 45 seconds later and ask, “Where my toxins at?”

carrie

Yeah. Toxins take time, I’ve always said it.

ross

Yeah, I did try wearing them to work and just around as well. Also tried sleeping with them on my side, not belly but the side of my torso.

carrie

I tried putting them on my biceps.

ross

Oh, yeah.

carrie

I’m flexing for you, because I’ve been—

ross

Yeah, your biceps are looking great.

carrie

Thank you, I’ve been lifting weights.

ross

Is that what made you so strong? Oh, you think it’s the weights and not the—

carrie

Probably, but you never know.

ross

It’s not one of their—

carrie

This one’s not as good, but still pretty good.

ross

Carrie’s also wearing a device that is part of one of our other investigations—

carrie

Oh yeah, that’s true.

ross

—that makes it look like you’ve got a gun. Like you’re packing—

carrie

Oh, right. And I am. [Ross laughs.] I’m pointing at my bicep, you guys.

ross

Yeah, I’m reading this as a gun holster. Anyways, we’ll tell you about that another time. So, what happened after you slept with these pads for a night?

carrie

Well, first of all, they were very itchy. The adhesive stuff. Itchy, itchy, no thank you.

ross

Interesting.

carrie

Yeah, was it not itchy for you?

ross

No, and that— well, my feet are generally itchy, but yeah, I don’t think because of these. You had mentioned that, at least the first time you had done the ionic foot bath, back in the day, that made you itchy. Okay.

carrie

Hm. Anyway, once I got over the itching, I slept with them, and in the morning I took them off, and yeah, they had this sort of like black, gooey mess on the little pad. The ones that I put on my bicep and wore around, I took off maybe like, two, three hours later, and they had little black dots on them, but they had not removed much toxins from my big sweet bicep.

ross

Okay. Oh, interesting. So very similar experience for me. I should say, the area with the tea-like substance or whatever’s inside there, this kind of opaque—

carrie

Satchel?

ross

—yeah, exactly, is probably about an inch and a half wide, by maybe three inches tall.

carrie

Mmhm. Agree to agree.

ross

And all of these were kind of thick. Like, you can feel like there’s some powder in there, there’s some substance. It feels pretty substantial. So something’s in there.

carrie

For sure.

ross

Some active ingredient.

carrie

And the ingredients are listed, so it’s not too much of a mystery.

ross

And then on the side that’s going to be attached to your foot, there’s sort of a gauze-y material. It’s holding all of the powder in, but it’s also porous. It looks porous.

carrie

Yeah. Letting something through.

ross

I’m going to open this one up so we can empty it out. You got a bowl or something?

carrie

Not on me. I think there’s still one up there somewhere.

ross

Okay. I’m gonna grab a bowl.

carrie

Okay. Ross has procured a bowl.

ross

Into said bowl—

carrie

Into said bowl, I commend my spirit.

ross

Heh.

carrie

Okay. He’s opening up one of the foot pads.

ross

Powder was the right word.

carrie

Yeah, for sure. I’m going to cover my mouth, just in case there were toxins in that. Ugh. Oh, you know what it looks like?

ross

What’s that?

carrie

Have you ever used like, a grater on your heels?

ross

I have not.

carrie

Oh, okay. They make these graters that like, kind of like a pumice stone, you use it on your gross, cracked heel and you shave it down, and the shavings look like that, just like a gross grey color.

ross

Oh, yeah. Or maybe even like, I don’t know, cremated remains or something.

carrie

Oh, yeah. “Cremains”, yeah. Totally. You could tell someone that was their dad.

ross

I was just reading the latest book by Caitlin Doughty, Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs. It is a fantastic book.

carrie

Will my cat eat my eyeballs, if I die and my body is there for a long time?

ross

So the quick answer is your cat won’t start with your eyeballs. He’ll go for something much easier, which is like, your lips, your nose, all that soft flesh around there. I was telling this to my co-worker, Chris, and he was saying, “Oh, my cat will bite at my lips.” I said, “Well, she’d keep doing it if you—”

carrie

[Laughs] If you didn’t move them.

ross

“—you weren’t alive to stop her.”

carrie

Yeah. I don’t think Ella would eat me unless she were really out of options.

ross

Oh, yeah. Well, that was the thing, like, dogs are far more prone to eating their masters. But yeah—

carrie

Ah!

ross

—after a while— yeah, you’d think, right? The cats would be—

carrie

Offensive.

ross

—the more merciless ones. But yeah, it’s kind of once they run out of other food, or often times it’ll be just to wake you up, like, “Hey, hey!”

carrie

Oh, yeah.

ross

You know, they’ll be sort of panicking.

carrie

Oh, Ella, I’m okay. Ella’s over there sleeping.

ross

But anyways, the book answers like thirty-four different questions that she’s gotten from kids, and—

carrie

Oh, fun.

ross

—she just has such a great attitude about death, you know, she’s respectful but at the same time really funny, and, you know, she just knows so much about it. She’s a mortician. Anyways, so—

carrie

She was at TEDxVienna with me.

ross

Oh, was she? Oh, how cool is that.

carrie

Yeah, she’s cool.

ross

That’s very cool.

carrie

That is cool. That’s very cool.

ross

So, wait, I’m touching it now. Yeah, okay, it’s just this kind of grainy, light grey—

carrie

Yeah, I think I see it kind of staining the bowl. I think it’s definitely got some colored properties happening there.

ross

There’s that smell. Okay, interesting. Yeah, I’d wake up after a night of wearing this and sure enough, yeah, the whole thing is kind of dark and gooey. Seems water-soluble, whatever results from this, because I could quickly go over to the tub and just wash off my feet. And I think this is telling, because there will be a little bit of residue on your feet, but it doesn’t look like any of the pores have some left in them. You would expect that, if something had been extracted from your body, like lets’ say I was leeching blood out from your skin, I would expect to see the surface of the skin sort of speckled with little drops of blood and—

carrie

That’s a really good point.

ross

—there’s nothing like that, it’s just, you know, there’s some superficial surface-level gunk, but it very easily washes off, and it doesn't feel like anything has permeated or penetrated the skin barrier.

carrie

That’s a really good point.

ross

Clue number one.

carrie

Heh-heh-heh. Well, just to assume for a second that they’re doing what they say they’re doing, did you feel better?

ross

Not noticeably.

carrie

How about your eczema on your feet?

ross

No, that was definitely not improved, because to wear these I wouldn’t be putting on my normal medication, because that would create a barrier. So, if anything, I guess I would be itchy, but it was the normal level of itchiness I would expect, and only on that foot. The other foot didn’t become itchy.

carrie

Okay. But—so not worse, not better.

ross

Correct.

carrie

Okay.

ross

Yeah, that’s true. I didn’t notice any negative effects.

carrie

But maybe it would have been better instead of neutral if you had used your medicine.

ross

Correct.

carrie

Got it.

ross

And I had a very similar experience to your bicep when I put one on my side, which was that it was also darkened, but not uniformly.

carrie

Yeah, little speckles?

ross

Yeah, it was like patchy.

carrie

Yeah. I used one of them— I remember that it was a rose scented one, it must have been the Nuvoly, because it said “relief”, so I used it during one of my classic headaches.

ross

Oh yes, so the Nuvoly ones came in different colors and flavors.

carrie

Yeah, I love that we’re calling them flavors, like we’re gonna eat them.

ross

[Laughs.] And so you’ve got your ginger for circulation, wormwood for digestion, lavender for sleep, green tea for metabolism, and rose for relief.

carrie

Relief. So I put that on when I had a headache, you know.

ross

Did it give you any relief?

carrie

It did not.

ross

Oh.

carrie

Same headache as usual. When do you think we’ll stumble on something that just magically cures my headaches? Because we’re eight years in.

ross

Just speaking statistically, it seems like at some point we have to.

carrie

We’re circling around it. We’re gonna get there.

ross

Yeah, one of these things on our long list of potential investigations— oh, now my fingers are all sticky, and I keep wanting to lick them to get rid of this.

carrie

Oh, don’t lick them.

ross

That’s a bad idea. I’m going to go—

carrie

What does it smell like?

ross

—I’m going to go wash my hands. [Through Carrie’s dialogue, we hear Ross washing his hands in the background.]

carrie

Oh, okay, it’s not a bad smell. Yeah, a very sort of like… earthy… almost licorice-y smell, but not licorice. But… but kind of licorice, but not, but kind of, but a little, but not, you know? [Imitating Ross] “Yes Carrie, I do know.” [Normal voice] I know. I know. [Ross laughs distantly in the background.] Ross is washing his hands, that wasn’t really him. I was doing his voice. Were you fooled?

ross

I was fooled. I was like, “Wait, what am I doing over there?”

carrie

“That’s me! Over there!”

ross

“I’m having an out of body experience. Who knew that the Kinoki foot pads would be what brought it on?”

carrie

What finally got us out of our bodies.

ross

Uh-huh. Speaking of the Kinoki foot pads and smells, the Kinoki pads smell very much like barbeque sauce.

carrie

Right, you made me— you let me smell them, and—

ross

No, I made you. I put it—

carrie

[Laughing, imitating Ross] “Fuck you, Carrie, you smell this right now.”

ross

I said, “Smell,” and I put it right in front of your nose.

carrie

Yeah, no, they smell a lot like the Carolina barbeque vegan jerky from that—

ross

Louisville.

carrie

Louisville, that’s it.

ross

Yeah, the vegan jerky, very good.

carrie

Very good vegan jerky.

ross

Very good.

carrie

Very good, as Ella would say.

ross

There was another brand. It was one of these. Oh, we’re surrounded by so many foot pads. Another one smelled exactly like that to me, and the Kinoki ones smelled even more strongly of barbeque sauce.

carrie

Yes, so you’re probably wondering, “What the hell’s in them? What’s making them do this thing?”

ross

Yeah.

carrie

Well, I’d love to tell you, but first let’s go to the billing department.

ross

Let’s go!

carrie

Ross, I love a website.

ross

Me too, especially one that is still running and that you don’t have to go through the internet archive to find.

carrie

Exactly, that’s my favorite kind.

ross

And especially one that doesn’t sell quack products. If I wanted to build a website like that, let’s say I wanted to sell a quality product. or advertise my own brand, or work on a project and share it with the world, where could I go, Carrie?

carrie

Mm. Well, you could go many places, but do you want it to be great?

ross

I was hoping for great, maybe even beautiful, customizable.

carrie

Okay. Okay. You know, I didn’t want to speak too soon.

ross

Can I get more picky, though?

carrie

Oh, yeah. Please.

ross

I don’t want to shoot down your idea, but I would also like it if it were mobile optimized—

carrie

Okay.

ross

—and had templates created by world-class designers—

carrie

Okay. I still have the same thing in mind, but I’m gonna let you finish.

ross

Really? What if it also had built-in search engine optimization?

carrie

Okay. Still listening, still have the same thing in mind.

ross

Really?

carrie

Seriously, I have the same idea this whole time—

ross

Analytics?

carrie

Yes!

ross

I want support, and I want not just any old support, I want it 24/7, I want it award-winning.

carrie

Okay.

ross

What? Really?

carrie

It’s no problem. Same idea.

ross

Okay, I thought I was setting this bar absurdly high.

carrie

No. You want Squarespace.

ross

Squarespace!

carrie

Squarespace. Yeah, it’s a platform for making your own website.

ross

Oh my goodness, that’s amazing.

carrie

And all sorts of people use it. Architects, venues, instruments, wedding professionals. Let me tell you, have I gone to a lot of wedding websites recently.

ross

Oh, yeah.

carrie

And a lot of them, made by Squarespace; and beautiful, and perfect.

ross

Everyone was so excited to hear about your engagement announcement, by the way.

carrie

Aww, wonderful. Me, too.

ross

Congratulations. So, you said that now you’re getting all kinds of online advertising.

carrie

Oh, my God. So much. And Drew is getting none, because they’re all marketed at women.

ross

That’s wild.

carrie

Photographers, dresses—

ross

Can you imagine though for online advertisers, like, “There’s a woman planning a wedding! Here we go boys! This is our chance!”

carrie

“This is the moment!”

ross

“We gotta do it, we gotta be there, she’s gotta see us!”

carrie

Little do they know, they want this woman, they should make it have a crazy claim attached to it. But the really good ones are always made at Squarespace, they’re always pretty, they always look professionally made, you know.

ross

Yeah, it’s hard to make a bad looking website in Squarespace, because, you know, you start with these templates and you just drag stuff in there. So you don’t need to be a designer, you don’t need to be a programmer or anything like that. But if you are either of those things, there’s also the ability to go in and really make it your own.

carrie

Yeah, good luck making an ugly website on Squarespace. I dare you. I dare you.

ross

I triple-dog dare you!

carrie

You can’t do it. You can’t do it.

ross

So, go to Squarespace.com for a free trial; and when you’re ready to launch, use the offer code OHNO to save ten percent off your first purchase of a website or domain.

carrie

That’s Squarespace.com, enter code OHNO.

ross

And while we’re telling people about great services, let’s tell them also about a great product, and that is Quip.

carrie

Oh, Quip. I love my Quip.

ross

You know, I went to the dentist recently. I must admit, I don’t go to the dentist nearly as often as I should. You should go every, what is it, four months, six months?

carrie

Six months is the usual recommended. If you have shit teeth like me, they tell you four months.

ross

Okay. Gotcha. Well, it had been years for me, but I went to the dentist, and they’ve been taking care of me. And the lady who did my cleaning, in two separate appointments, she was grilling me, you know, like they do, but in the very nicest way. In fact, I really liked her, because she was giving me explanations for why everything is the way it is. That’s what I want. I don’t want to just know a list of like, do this, this, and this. I want to know why I do this, this, and this.

carrie

Totally.

ross

And she offered it without me even having to pester. Anyways, she was saying, “Okay, what kind of toothbrush are you using? Electric or handheld?” And I said, “Electric.” And she said, “Oh, you’re already halfway there, that’s great.” And she was telling me not to apply so much pressure.

carrie

Oh, okay.

ross

Because I guess, you know, I would get in there and—

carrie

Oh, your gum’s receding a little.

ross

Yeah, and I would— oh man, I really need to muscle this in, okay, gotta get stuff out of there. She was saying, “No, no. The electric toothbrush is already doing the work for you. Just run it over the surface of your tooth.” Because I have the exposed, it’s getting into the dentin, which is under that hard outer shell, and so that tooth enamel, that— yeah, that’s super tough material, but the dentin underneath it that’s getting exposed looks the same, but it’s much weaker, and so I’m like sawing into it, like sandpapering into it. So I stopped brushing so hard, and using mouthwash, and my teeth are feeling great with my Quip.

carrie

Nice. So, you’re not saying that you shouldn’t go to the dentist and you’ll be fine just because you have a Quip, but—

ross

Your dentist will be happy when you tell them you’re using a Quip.

carrie

Yeah. My dentist was happy with me.

ross

So you’ve learned two things. One, get a quip. Two, don’t brush your teeth so hard if you’re like me. Maybe I’m the only one who was doing that.

carrie

And you know, most dentist will tell you that better brushing is less about the brush, and its more about how you use it. So that’s why Quip was created by dentists and product designers to focus on what actually matters for your oral health.

ross

Yeah, and it has sensitive vibrations, with a built-in timer. So it goes for two minutes, and it stops every thirty seconds, just to give you a little reminder, like, “Hey, be focused, you know, move on to a different part of your mouth.” So you get an even clean.

carrie

Yeah, and Quip will automatically deliver brush heads to you every three months for clean new bristles right on schedule.

ross

Quip starts at just $25, and you’ll get your first refill free at GetQuip.com/ohno.

carrie

This is a simple way to support our show, and start brushing better. But you have to go to GetQuip.com/ohno to get your first refill free.

ross

Go right now to GetQuip.com/ohno.

carrie

[Humming tune] So, as I was saying before I interrupted me—

ross

Yes.

carrie

—how do these things actually work? What’s happening?

ross

Yeah, what’s going on?

carrie

What’s a’happening?

ross

Yeah. Are there really toxins being pulled out of your feet, or is there maybe, just maybe, something in the pad that is generating these dark colors that look so menacing and scary?

carrie

Yeah. So, when I was googling around for this, I kept seeing people saying, “There’s some chemical in the pad that makes it make this goo.” So, there you go. But no one was really being more specific than that. I wanted more. I need to know, what is the goo? How we doing it, folks?

ross

Yeah, what’d you find out?

carrie

Alright, so I found the patent for this invention. You know, and it states “Patent 8317762B2” filed by Kenrico Limited, and the inventor is a Mr. Nurman Salim. All of his inventions in the patent office are all related to foot detox pads, so this is his bread and butter. Okay, so the patent is for a “skin patch for absorbing toxins from the body.” It has a little drawing of said pad, as you can see, Ross.

ross

Oh, this looks very familiar, yes. Okay.

carrie

“A skin patch for absorbing toxins from a body, includes a first side having a heat-reflective foil.” Okay, so we’re going to try to trap some heat in.

ross

Oh, okay.

carrie

“A second side includes a non-woven rayon surface for absorbing the toxins.”

ross

Interesting, okay.

carrie

“”The rayon surface includes—” I love this verbiage. “—includes a plurality of openings—” [Both laugh.] “—for enhancing far infrared ray emissions into a skin when the second side is placed in contact with the skin.” So heat. I think we’re talking about heat.

ross

Wow, yeah. We don’t have much here, how do we make them sound fancier than it is?

carrie

And make it sound like you can’t reproduce it.

ross

Yeah, that’s interesting, and they’re referring to like a foil-like material, but I don’t think I’ve seen that anywhere in these products.

carrie

I feel like I have seen a foil, but—

ross

Okay, this one, it’s just sort of a composite material with sort of a plastic layer on top of the paper layer, at least on the far side, away from the foot. The distal side.

carrie

Right. Then it says, “A mixture of natural ingredients that includes—” and this is pretty important, we’re gonna see these over and over again on these boxes. Vinegar. Okay, something you would use to dye an egg, say, at Easter, right?

ross

Yes, mmhm.

carrie

Chitosan, which we talked about, it comes from shell-

ross

Crustaceans.

carrie

—yeah, shell animals. Loquat leaf. Forgive my pronunciation here, but houttuynia cordata. Vitamin C, tourmaline, vegetable, fiber, and dextrin. Okay, so, I went through each of these ingredients and looked up, like, “Okay, what would a person use this for?” So we’ve got, of course, vinegar, which is great for holding a dye, right?

ross

And as you’re saying this, I’m looking at the Kinoki pads and seeing it names both bamboo vinegar and wood vinegar.

carrie

Getting that vinegar in there. Okay, okay. So I feel like we’re building a dye. You mentioned that you really like loquat leaf, right?

ross

I like loquats, the fruit.

carrie

Oh, okay. Alright. Well, the leaves are a natural dye.

ross

Ah.

carrie

So there are some— I found some articles about like, “Oh, do you want to dye your clothes naturally? Get some loquat leaves.”

ross

That’s probably the plant powder listed on the Kinoki box.

carrie

Okay. Makes sense. Okay, then we have tourmaline, that is used to degrade dyes. So what ends up happening, I think, is that all these things are mixing together and kind of forcing each other out of the pad itself, and then the thing from the shellfish creates the filmy stuff.

ross

Alright, and on the Kinoki pads it says “carapace”. So, I’m guessing that’s a reference to our poor little shrimp or whatever had been grated.

carrie

Oh, I’d never heard of that.

ross

That’s, uh, the name for kind of a protective outer shell or covering, like turtles have a carapace but so do crustaceans.

carrie

Gotcha. Chitosan, which was the other term we heard for that, is used for adsorption of dyes. So it’s taking it out of the leaves and stuff and into this little film we’ve created, and the film is mostly—

ross

Ah.

carrie

Yeah, and the film itself would, I’m guessing, be mostly made of the dextrin and the vegetable fiber, which are just, you know, starches that you’ve created your little film out of.

ross

But the nice thing is you’re getting some of that plant intelligence.

carrie

Exactly. Now a chemist is probably listening to this, and I’ve probably gotten several things wrong. But you get the general idea here is that we’re building up a film, we’re dyeing it, and then you add, of course, your foot sweat.

ross

Yes. And that’s why it’s got to be on your foot for a while, and why it should be adhered to your foot, to create a little bit of a trap there, to force a little bit of sweating.

carrie

Yup, and if we return to the U.S. patents, the last line says, “The mixture is formulated to omit the far infrared emission, whereby blood circulation is promoted and perspiration and any toxins contained therein are absorbed by the rayon surface.” So it—put in layman terms, this will make you sweat, and sweat technically has tiny, tiny, tiny bits of toxins, of whatever your body has rejected in it.

ross

Mmhm. Yeah, which is a highly dubious claim. Yes. Wow. Okay, yeah, there are a few components inside your sweat that are—

carrie

Not useful?

ross

Yeah, waste material. Ever so slight. But, pretty much all the detoxing is happening in the conjoined effort of your kidney and your liver. It’s coming out in your urine, it’s coming out in—

carrie

In your pooper.

ross

—your poop. That’s how you remove toxins. I like that also listed on the ingredients here are—not even negative ions—”minus” ion.

carrie

Oh, okay.

ross

So, that’s another thing that comes up in these various advertisements. “Packed with ions,” said by people who don’t know what ions are.

carrie

So I thought, “Well, if it’s just water that’s causing this, like the warm sweat water, then probably if I put it in a bowl of warm water, it’s gonna come out, right?”

ross

You’d think, right. Yeah.

carrie

Right. Now sweat, of course, has more than just water, so I wasn’t positive. But indeed, I took a bowl of hot water, I dipped them in there, and it completely like, dyed the water and the bowl this like, dark, gross, putrid color.

ross

Okay. I ran a similar experiment, which was to take a cup of cold root beer, and put a pad on the side of that.

carrie

[Gasps] And all the aluminum came out of the can!

ross

Well, this was a paper cup.

carrie

All the… BPA came out of the cup!

ross

[Laughs] It was sweating because there was ice on the inside of the cup.

carrie

Condensation, uh-huh.

ross

But in a very short amount of time, that condensation had created these dark “toxins” on the pad. It just wasn’t as fully formed as when I left it on my feet overnight.

carrie

And if you run this experiment yourself, you’ll see that you don’t necessarily get that gooey effect, because it’s not just like a small amount of heat, you know, coming off your foot. You’re washing away a lot of the goo by putting it in water. [Carrie responds emphatically as Ross speaks.]

ross

Yeah. And when the IIG had done this test years back, we also tried just putting distilled water on the pads and, yup, same thing happened. We even had Yvette d’Entremont, a.k.a. SciBabe, she came in and she showed kind of what we’re doing here, you know, took out this powder, added water to it, and showed essentially what you’re doing is creating some fancy mud. That’s about it.

carrie

There you go.

ross

We’ve referenced the IIG, by the way, many times on the show. The Independent Investigations Group, which tests claims of the paranormal, offers a now $250,000 prize.

carrie

Oh my goodness.

ross

Now we are the CFIIG, so the Center for Inquiry Investigations Group.

carrie

“Cuh-fig.” Okay, so, returning to our friends, the foot pads. There was a study published in the Journal of Heavy Metal Toxicity and Diseases last year.

ross

Heavy metal! [Imitates guitar riff.]

carrie

And it came out of a university in Egypt, and so it’s been translated to English, so, you know, forgive some sort of shaky wording here, but it’s called Detox Foot Pad: A Fact or a Fantasy? And they had different people wear them, and then tested whether what was remaining in the foot pad actually had more toxins than before it was given to the person.

ross

Okay. Yeah. Sensible test.

carrie

Yeah, and they said, “This study proves that detox foot pads were not really detoxifying the body or removing any metal from it via a dermal route during the overnight detox foot pad application procedure.”

ross

And that kind of analysis is what I call heavy metal. [Carrie laughs.] Yeah, I’ve got to say, it’s a good thing— if you do a Google search for detox foot pad, yes, you do immediately get a bunch of product sponsored result, but the top website results are things like “Five Questions Answered About Detox Foot Pads” from Healthline, in which they tell you they don’t work. And then, you know, Mayo Clinic, and DeviceWatch.org, and all these websites that are breaking down why they don’t work. Because they don’t.

carrie

Right, they appear— it seems.

ross

In case we haven’t made it clear at this point in the podcast. Want to make sure you didn’t get this far and be like, “But do they work?” They don’t. They don’t. This is a scam.

carrie

Woah.

ross

I think it’s fair to say scam, because I don’t think you can make these without knowing exactly how they’re going to work and be activated.

carrie

The study authors in this particular case did note, “We discovered no evidence to suggest that detox foot pads help promote the elimination of toxic metals from the body through the feet.” On the opposite side, is it likely to cause harm or result in any increased uptake of metals? They say, “Yes, possibly, because the foot pad itself could release minute quantities of metals into the body, because it does have some in it.” So, fair. So it’s kind of similar to the foot bath outcome, you know. Both are probably safe, at least insofar as you’re not using it in place of some, you know, really important medicine. But as far as toxins go, you’re going to add some more than take them away.

ross

Okay. Oh, reading on DeviceWatch.org here, I’m seeing that it was in 2009 that the federal trade commission charged a Yehuda Levin and Baruch Levin, and their company, XACTA 3000 incorporated, with deceptive advertising. Because they claimed that applying Kinoki foot pads to the soles of the feet at night would remove heavy metals, metabolic wastes, toxins, parasites, chemicals, and cellulite from their bodies. Not necessarily the ones we got, but some pads have made claims of helping you lose weight as well.

carrie

Oh, boy.

ross

The ads also claim that use of the foot pads could treat depression, fatigue, diabetes, arthritis, high blood pressure, and a weakened immune system. And so they were prohibited from selling any kind of supplement, food or drug, or medical device, or helping others do that, and a judgment of 14.5 million dollars, which represented the total revenues from the sales of the pads.

carrie

Yikes.

ross

So there you go, a little smackdown.

carrie

Also in 2008, from NPR at All Things Considered, they got a few of these as well; and then they took them to a California lab, and said, “Okay, I’ll see what’s still in here after I’ve used it versus before,” and the chemical composition was exactly the same.

ross

Okay. So there’s many ways to test these, and many ways to show that it’s a pretty simple trick that’s going on.

carrie

Yeah, it’s the kind of thing you’d like, teach third graders to do, like, “Make some goo! We put this in here and this in here and then it gets wet and then you have a sloppy, sloppy stew.”

ross

Alright, Carrie, well then, should we rate these?

carrie

Let’s rate these!

ross

And we’ll also rate the detox foot baths, because we said we’d do these at the same time.

carrie

Yes, foot detoxifying, writ large.

ross

Yes. So what would you give this on a pseudoscience scale where one is something not very pseudoscience-y. So more scientific. Let’s say, the theory of evolution, for example.

carrie

Oh yeah, okay. Like, established fact.

ross

Yeah, by natural selection, not like Lamarckian evolution.

carrie

Oh, come on, we were all thinking it.

ross

Yeah, and ten then would be something incredibly pseudoscientific, like you should sandpaper your feet every day to remove excess goat sperm.

carrie

Mmm. I mean, that’s true if you’ve stepped on goat sperm.

ross

Yeah, but like, everybody’s has goat sperm on their feet.

carrie

Oh, come on. That doesn’t make any sense.

ross

Right, that’s a ten.

carrie

Okay, I mean, boy. That’s exactly what this is, so, nine?

ross

Yeah.

carrie

What do you think?

ross

Yeah, I’m right up there with you. I’ll— geez. I’ll say ten, because it’s kind of pure pseudoscience. That’s what this is resting on.

carrie

I don’t even know— I can’t defend nine versus ten.

ross

No, nine’s good too.

carrie

Yeah. Alright, cool. Well, what would you give this on a pocket turner value, where one is something that’s not at all pocket turning, right? Like, you go to Poquito Mas, yours and my favorite burrito place.

ross

Oh, good burrito place, yeah.

carrie

You get a vegetarian burrito, and you get so much of that green salsa verde.

ross

Why do you do that?

carrie

Because it’s so good!

ross

She gets so many little, little uh, packets of—

carrie

Well, only if it’s to go. If I’m there I’ll keep reusing the one plastic thing.

ross

Okay. The environment thanks you.

carrie

Yes. You’re welcome, environment. Uh, but, you’re getting all this free salsa. That’s a one. And then ten is something incredibly expensive, like an engagement ring.

ross

[Laughs] Not that you’d have any recent experience with that. Well, let’s see. You can get these for a variety of prices. We’ve talked about the per price for these. I think you can spend more, I was kind of gravitating toward the cheaper options. But at any price, I’m gonna give them a ten, because you’re paying any amount of money, plus shipping and handling, or however you get these, for something that doesn’t do anything other than just kind of make your foot sticky and you have to wash it off afterwards.

carrie

What about the foot bath?

ross

Oh, right. Right.

carrie

Yeah, don’t throw the bath out with the bath water.

ross

Don’t throw the corroded metal out with the— no, throw it out. [Laughing] Yeah, throw the electrode, or whatever that thing is, out with the—the cloudy, gross water. Yeah, I’m saying ten, because you shouldn’t be spending any money on either of these services. You know, there’s a placebo value there. Again, if you call it placebo, does that mitigate that? I mean, what are you gonna say, what’s your argument? [Ross responds affirmatively as Carrie speaks.]

carrie

I mean, I would have given them like a two, just because it’s cheap. But, I mean, I get where you’re coming from. I just, then I feel like, then like, so many things are ten, I have to sort of re-jigger my system.

ross

That’s fair. Yeah, I’m just thinking in terms of like, total money waste. But yeah, there is the absolute versus relative scale. They are— on an absolute scale, they are not too expensive, both of these things. On a relative scale, they are way too expensive.

carrie

Fair.

ross

What would you give these, then, Carrie, on a danger rating? Where one is something not very dangerous. You sleep with your dog next to you in bed, and you don’t die, so you wake up with everything intact. That’s a one, and ten would be something incredibly dangerous, like you pour out maybe ten of these foot packets and just chug ‘em down with some water and then go to sleep.

carrie

Eugh. Yeah, that’s—don’t do that, especially if you’re allergic to shellfish. Yeah, I mean, I think the only genuine danger here is the same that we always mention, which is, if you’re doing this instead of something that you actually need to do, like if you actually have lead poisoning, like, go to the doctor, don’t use this. But actual, direct harm from the product, I think pretty low. It qualifies because you could get a little bit of metals, but barely. I mean, you could also step on a tin can. So, I’m gonna say a one.

ross

Yeah, if someone who I cared about told me they were doing that, I would say, “Uh, you know, here’s why it doesn’t work, you probably shouldn’t do that.” But, you know, if they were saying, “I didn’t get vaccinated,” then I’d be like, woah, woah.

carrie

Woah, woah, hey now.

ross

So, yeah, I’m gonna say one. It doesn’t even register.

carrie

Well, what about creepiness? How creepy is foot detoxification in general? Where one is something not at all creepy, like you go on a podcast and you ask Drew to marry you. Well, that might be creepy from you.

ross

Yeah? What, just because you’ve already asked him?

carrie

Yeah, and he might be like, “We’re not even in a romantic relationship.”

ross

Hmm. You think he wouldn’t take me seriously?

carrie

You should try it.

ross

Only one way to find out.

carrie

I had a good time doing it. You should try.

ross

Alright. I’ll do it.

carrie

Then, one is something not at all creepy like proposing to Cara Blocher, your beautiful wife.

ross

That was not creepy.

carrie

Yeah, and then ten is something incredibly creepy, like, uh, while Cara and Drew are asleep, we just take them out of their respective beds and roll them together, so then they both just wake up next to each other. This is a very creepy thing to do.

ross

Yeah, that’s weird. I’m sure they’d both handle it like champs.

carrie

They’d be like, “Is this some show thing, you guys? What is this?”

ross

“What have they done now?” [Both laugh.]

carrie

Maybe we should do this.

ross

It’s so funny. So, I can’t remember what I did tonight, but I got this eyeroll from Cara, and I said, “I just live for that response.” It was something related to our investigations, of course. Yeah, this I— this isn’t very creepy. I’ll say, at least with the corroded metal in the foot bath, that’s a little creepy. I’ll say two.

carrie

You know, I didn’t think it was creepy at all, until you mentioned this— you know, this concept of, like, it oozing out of my foot and leaving no trace. That kind of creeps me out a little bit.

ross

Oh, yeah. Because that, theoretically, is what’s happening.

carrie

Yeah, it’s like the psychic surgery, where, you know, someone pulls guts out of you and then there’s no incision, that’s creepy.

ross

Oh yeah, good point.

carrie

Yeah, so I’ll give it a four.

ross

Okay, I’m feeling much better about my two now.

carrie

Okay, good.

ross

What are we gonna do with all of these extra foot pads?

carrie

I don’t know. Uh...

ross

I’m guessing if you come to one of our future live shows, there is a small but non-zero chance that a box of foot pads might be thrown at your head.

carrie

Yeah, could be. You should be so lucky.

ross

Oh, and hot drinks.

carrie

Hot drinks! Thumbs up! You could make some probably toxic tea out of this.

ross

It sure smells good though.

carrie

Yeah, it smells like the teas that I don’t really like. The chamomiles. The herbals.

ross

I guess that’s it for our show. Our theme music is by Brian Keith Dalton.

carrie

This episode was edited by us!

ross

Hey!

carrie

Ross and Carrie, we did it!

ross

Yeah, because we’re recording this right before—

carrie

Super late!

ross

—we’re supposed to release it.

carrie

Oh well.

ross

We wanted more time to wear our foot pads. Our administrative manager is Ian Kramer.

carrie

And you can support this and all our investigations by going to MaximumFun.org/donate.

ross

Please and thank you.

carrie

You’re welcome, Ross.

ross

Find us online, Facebook.com/ONRAC. There’s articles, there’s pic—I need to post lots of pictures, I’ve been holding out on pictures. But there’s all kinds of fun things there, and you can hang out with other listeners.

carrie

And if you haven’t figured it out, ONRAC is Oh No, Ross and Carrie! O-N-R-A-C.

ross

What?

carrie

And of course, follow us on Twitter @OhNoPodcast.

ross

And leave positive reviews for us on iTunes and Spotify and Stitcher—

carrie

Stitcher premium.

ross

—Overcast. I really like Overcast. I’ve been using that lately to listen to more and more podcasts. Anyways, wherever you’re getting your podcasts, tell your friends. Or write it on, you know, like that sandwich board, by your local— no, don’t write on their st— I don’t know. On a local community bulletin board.

carrie

Somewhere where it’s welcome.

ross

Yeah, someone posted that. They had written on one of those shock signs about Oh No, Ross and Carrie! I think it was in a bathroom somewhere—

carrie

Oh, nice.

ross

—and it was amazing.

carrie

I like it. And, you know, maybe go subscribe to This Podcast Is Self Care, so my dog can go to college.

ross

And she should. And remember, from this informercial for Kinoki foot pads:

clip

Kinoki Foot Pad Announcer: Are you exposed to unavoidable toxins from the food, water, and air we breathe? Then you need to discover the ancient Japanese secret that promotes healthy living! Introducing Kinoki foot pads, an amazing discovery that naturally captures toxins your body needs to eliminate while you sleep. Look, Kinoki foot pads collect heavy metals, metabolic wastes, toxins, chemicals, and more, revitalizing and invigorating your body. You’ll wake feeling fresh and clean. Watch, just like a tree draws energy in and toxins down its trunk, your body works the same way. Based on ancient Japanese reflexology, Kinoki’s unique formula cleanses, while absorbing toxins your body needs to eliminate. Use a fresh pad each night, until the pad becomes lighter and lighter. You’ll actually feel the difference. In fact, this independent study indicates that Kinoki pads absorb toxins. Isn’t that amazing?

clip

Customer 1: Each day I felt better and better. I would wake up in the morning after wearing the Kinoki foot pads the night before feeling more rested, more relaxed, and more energized. Customer 2: Since I’ve been using Kinoki foot pad, I have a sense of well-being that I haven’t had in years. This gives me more energy. I just feel much healthier. Kinoki Foot Pad Announcer: Kinoki also contains ions, to cleanse, refresh, and enhance your overall wellbeing. Now on this exclusive TV offer, you can get Kinoki foot pads for only $19.99. But wait! Call now and we’ll double your offer! And if you ever need more, we’ll send you a free supply for life. Just pay shipping and handling. We guarantee you’ll see results with the foot pad the very first time you use it, or your money back. So don’t delay, order Kinoki foot pads today! Kinoki Foot Pad Announcer 2: To order your Kinoki foot pads for $19.99, call 1-800-673-0184. That’s 1-800-673-0184. And remember, if you ever need more, we’ll send you a free supply for life, just pay shipping and handling. Cleanse and energize your body today. Call 1-800-673-0184. That’s 1-800-673-0184. Call now.

music

Oh No, Ross and Carrie! Theme Song” plays.

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[Ocean sounds in the background.] Speaker 1: [Piratey voice] Ahh. There’s nothing quite like sailing in the calm, international waters on my ship, the S.S. Biopic (bi-AH-pic). [Ship’s horn toots.] Speaker 2: [Piratey voice] Avast! It’s actually pronounced… “BI-oh-pic.” Speaker 1: No, ya dingus! It’s “Bi-AH-pic!” Speaker 2: Who the hell says that? It’s “BI-oh-pic!” It comes from the words “biology”— Speaker 1: It’s the words for “biography” and “picture!” [Boat horn honks.] Speaker 2: If you— Dave Holmes: Alright, that is enough! Ahoy! I’m Dave Holmes; I’m the host of the newly-rebooted podcast formerly known as International Waters! Designed to resolve petty—but persistent—arguments like this! How? By pitting two teams of opinionated comedians against each other with trivia and improv games, of course! Winner takes home the right to be right. Speaker 1: What podcast be this? Dave: It’s called Troubled Waters! [Boat engine revving, driving off.] Where we disagree to disagreeee! [Voice trails off into the distance.]

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[Phone rings.] Kinoki Rep: Hello, this is [censored]. Carrie: Oh, hi, [censored]. My name’s Carrie. I found you as the representative for [censored] foot pads, is that right? Kinoki Rep: Yeah. Carrie: Okay, so I got some of the pads. I’m trying to figure out, what do they actually do? What are they for? Kinoki Rep: Oh, um. Okay, so, I am with them, but these are deep. I can tell you as much as I could. So, what do they actually do? Carrie: Yeah. Kinoki Rep: So, they are foot pads that overnight are supposed to pull out certain— I guess, it’s supposed to detox you, right? But— Carrie: Oh. Kinoki Rep: So the reality is, it’s been researched and it’s been proven that it does, but there’s a lot of people that think maybe it doesn’t. So it’s not something that I can prove to you, but it does do something, because a lot of people like it a lot. And so over, I don’t know, centuries people have been doing this, and I guess it works. It works pretty well. Carrie: Okay. Kinoki Rep: So, that’s as much as I can tell you. I don’t know scientifically how it does the detoxification, but it’s almost like, if I was to tell you, does acupuncture work? It’s throughout the whole world, but, you know, like, I can’t really prove how it works. Kind of the same thing with the detoxifying foot bath. Carrie: Hm. Kinoki Rep: So. Carrie: Well— but, you said, though, that it has been studied and it does work? Kinoki Rep: Oh, yeah. So like, there’s huge fans of this. If you Google the way they detoxify, this has been going on for a long, long time. Carrie: I’m trying to Google that. I’m not seeing that, but uh, maybe that’s the case. Kinoki Rep: It’s like, do essential oils really calm you down? I don’t know. For some people it does, for some people it doesn’t. Is it even a placebo effect? Maybe, maybe not. But for some people, it really works. Carrie: Yeah. It just seems like if it didn’t do better than placebo, then it wouldn’t have the study. You said that there were studies that confirmed it, so. Kinoki Rep: Yeah. So, I can tell you that it’s better than the placebo, because if it was just placebo, yeah, they wouldn’t be selling. It would immediately be like, written off. Carrie: Oh, okay. Alright, cool. Well, I’ll email you and maybe you can send me those studies. Kinoki Rep: And I’ll make sure somebody gets back to you. Carrie: Okay, perfect. Thank you so much. Kinoki Rep: Okay, you’re welcome. Carrie: Alright, have a good one. Bye. Kinoki Rep: Okay. Bye.

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About the show

Welcome to Oh No, Ross and Carrie!, the show where we don’t just report on fringe science, spirituality, and claims of the paranormal, but take part ourselves. Follow us as we join religions, undergo alternative treatments, seek out the paranormal, and always find the humor in life’s biggest mysteries. We show up – so you don’t have to. Every week we share a new investigation, interview, or update.

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