TRANSCRIPT 328: Happy Halloween, Scooby Doo!, with Justin McElroy

Transcript

dan
									
On this episode we discuss—Happy Halloween, Scooby Doo!
elliott
									
That’s right—it’s our special, annual, Thanksgiving Halloween episode! [Multiple people laugh.]
music
									
Light, up-tempo, electric guitar with synth instruments.
dan
									
Hey, everyone, and welcome to The Flop House! I’m Dan McCoy.
stuart
									
I’m Stuart Wellington, you Shocktober freaks! [Multiple people laugh.]
elliott
									
Stuart, no, no. I think you’re under a misapprehension of what time of the year it is.
stuart
									
Wait, what’s the name of the movie we watched?
elliott
									
The name was Happy Halloween, Scooby Doo. I’m Elliott Kalan. This is actually November. This episode. Yeah, yeah.
stuart
									
Oh, okay. And joining us this time is… podcaster… author… YouTuber, journalist—
justin
									
Woodworker! Voice actor!
stuart
									
Number one Sheetz customer! Justin McElroy! [Dan laughs.]
justin
									
What an honor. I am such a fan of you guys. You guys have got me through some real tough spells of mental health. Just turning through your shows. I can’t believe I’m here. Can’t believe I made it. Looks like I finally made it. Here I am. [All laugh.]
elliott
									
[Singing] Looks like you made it! Look how far you’ve come on faith!
dan
									
[Through laughter] I like you pretending that you’re not doing a favor for us.
justin
									
No, that was a joke. I love this show.
dan
									
Oh, okay.
elliott
									
No, this is a bit Dan does where he offends the guest immediately.
stuart
									
Mm-hm. He’s like, “Why do you like the show, idiot?” [Multiple people laugh.]
justin
									
I’m not offended. It’s a great—
elliott
									
“Hey, dickface! Why do you like our show so much, stupid!”
dan
									
I know he likes the show. I just—it is very nice of him to come.
justin
									
You can enjoy a favor. Like, if you help a friend move but all their furniture’s really squishy and fun? [Multiple people laugh.] It turns out, like, “Oh, I’m actually enjoying this! This is not heavy, and it’s fun to play with!”
stuart
									
That’s usually what I ask my friends when I agree to help ‘em move. Is the squishiness of their furniture. [Multiple people laugh.]
elliott
									
I have two questions. I say, one, is the furniture squishy? And two, is it just soft or is it moist? ‘Cause I’d rather not carry the moist stuff. Oh!
justin
									
It’s gummy. And edible. Like in Willy Wonka’s factory.
elliott
									
So my hands are gonna be really sticky at the end of it. Oh, Willy Wonka’s friends must’ve hated so much when they had to help him move! And they’re like, “Just use the Oompa Loompas!” And he’s like, “They’re not slaves! They work for me! I can’t just use ‘em for my personal moving!”
stuart
									
Yeah. And he’s like, ‘Why are you moving out in August of all months?”
elliott
									
“All your candy furniture’s gonna melt in the truck! Why are you moving now?” [Laughs.]
dan
									
Well this does bring up a key problem with the factory. Is that that room that’s all just candy must just, y’know, attract a tremendous amount of lint. Like, small dead insects—or live insects stuck to the candy.
justin
									
Yeah. He doesn’t brace Charlie for—“And did you ever hear what happened to the man who got everything he ever wanted?” “What?” “For six months he was really worked up about flies. Six month of the year, it’s just flies, flies, flies, flies, flies. It is a big problem. You will not enjoy that time. Close it up. Go to Aruba. You will not like that time period.”
elliott
									
And he goes, “Charlie, I know what you’re thinking. You just package that candy with flies on it and call it Wonka Bar Bug ‘Ems. It does not work. I tried it. Nobody wanted Bug ‘Ems, the candy with real bugs attached to it. It just didn’t work.”
justin
									
Don’t you think the Willy Wonka company missed a trick by not selling chocolate bars called “A Li’l Bit of Augustus”? There’s just a little bit of Augustus Gloop in every one! [Multiple people laugh.] Just a little bit of particulate.
elliott
									
Just call ‘em Gloopies. Yeah. [Laughs.]
justin
									
Gloopies!
dan
									
I mean, you gotta believe that he’s well-marbled and delicious. [Justin laughs.]
crosstalk
									
Elliott: That’s a very— Dan: But anyway. Stuart: We’re really showing our Western privilege—
dan
									
In that we’re making fun of the fact that people could be eating chocolate bars with insects or Augustus Gloops in them. And I think that’s pretty fucked up. [Multiple people laugh.]
justin
									
In many parts of the world, Augustus Gloop is a primary source of protein. And I think we need to respect that. [Multiple people laugh.]
dan
									
Okay. Well— [Laughs.] Let me explain the premise of this show to anyone checking in for the first time and thinking, “Oh, my favorite is Justin.” You’ll be disappointed next time. But—
justin
									
Maybe!
dan
									
This is a show— [Multiple people laugh.]
stuart
									
We could leave the door open.
dan
									
This is a— [Laughs.] This is a show where we watch a bad movie and then talk about it. That’s our MO. But Justin—who knows what he thinks of this movie. He picked it. Now, Justin, I wanted to ask before we got into talking about the movie—what was it about this film that made you want to talk about it with us?
stuart
									
Yeah. When I texted Justin I was like, “Yeah, you can pick any movie in the world.” And even before I was done sending the text message I got the response, “Happy Halloween, Scooby Doo.” [Dan laughs.]
justin
									
Well… [long pause.] [Dan laughs.]
crosstalk
									
Elliott: That was a long pause. Justin: I was watching it at the time that you texted me. Dan: Okay. [Multiple people laugh.]
justin
									
I was watching it at the time you texted me. [Multiple people laugh.] But! But. It was the third time I’d watched it with my children and my rationale was this—one, I thought I’d try to do Elliott a solid and have a movie that he [through laughter] could watch with his children.
elliott
									
Oh, thank you. I appreciate that.
justin
									
Yeah. Secondly—and I hope that the logic of this has been borne out now that you guys have watched it and it wasn’t just a sort of one-off, ‘cause I watched it again today. It’s a bizarre flick.
crosstalk
									
Dan: It is very strange. Stuart: [Through laughter] Yep.
justin
									
Almost every choice in this movie is so strange. [Dan laughs.] And it almost starts to feel like… y’know those—that one very funny Twitter writer who was doing the AI, like, an AI generated script for—
elliott
									
Yeah, yeah.
justin
									
—an Olive Garden commercial? It feels like someone put every Scooby Doo into a machine and then let the machine generate a script for a Scooby Doo movie.
stuart
									
Yeah. Like it was trained to—
justin
									
That’s underselling it a bit, ‘cause I think it’s also very—it’s surprisingly effective in what it attempts to do. But what it attempts to do is weirdly ambitious? [Multiple people laugh.] I feel [through laughter] for a movie of this stripe? You don’t expect Happy Halloween, Scooby Doo to be a message movie, but it definitely, definitely is.
elliott
									
And there’s a surprising amount of worldbuilding in this Happy Halloween, Scooby Doo movie.
justin
									
Yes! Right? [Laughs.] And world… borrowing?
elliott
									
Yes. And crossover building. Now Dan—
crosstalk
									
Dan: And it’s also kind of a Mad Max: Fury Road which you don’t expect from Scooby Doo. Justin: Yeah! Stuart: Kind of. Elliott: Yeah. Yeah.
elliott
									
Yeah. I didn’t expect Road Game: Scooby Doo. Which it kind of becomes.
stuart
									
And speaking of worldbuilding, we are introduced right away to Crystal Cove, a—
elliott
									
Wait, Stuart, actually—I hate to interrupt. I just want to say, it is fitting that we watched this Halloween movie in November.
stuart
									
Okay. Why?
elliott
									
In honor of Joe Ruby and Ken Spears, the creators of Scooby Doo, who both died this year. Ken Spears just died about a week and a half ago, so it is in his honor that we are now going to—I guess—tear apart this movie that used his characters. He didn’t write it, but y’know.
dan
									
Justin is making a face—
crosstalk
									
Dan: —at the idea that we’re gonna tear this apart. Justin: You guys tear it apart all you want.
justin
									
I’ll be there picking up the pieces and carrying them on my shoulders back over to the—wherever we’re carrying it from.
elliott
									
When Happy Halloween, Scooby Doo saw just one set of footprints, that was you [through laughter] carrying it. [Multiple people laugh.]
stuart
									
Yep. So the movie opens up in Crystal Cove, a town built on a large natural crystal deposit, as we’ll learn later. It’s Halloween. There’s a Halloween parade and Elvira is the— [Dan laughs.] —is on the main float.
justin
									
You make it ten seconds in before you are to one of the wilder picks in the movie. Y’all? This is a children’s movie! None of them know who Elvira is. Not a single child—
crosstalk
									
Justin: —will know who Elvira is. They’re going to think it is a Scooby Doo character. Elliott: It’s bizarre. It’s bizarre—
elliott
									
—that when I was a kid, I knew who Elvira was, since her main thing was being like—making death jokes and having boobs. And yet somehow this was a character I was aware of as a kid! But no kid now is gonna know who Elvira, the Mistress of the Night, is.
dan
									
And because this is a—I assume because this is a movie for children they largely take away the boobs. So— [Laughs.]
justin
									
So just write that down in the notes.
stuart
									
Yeah. Dan’s made that they de-sexified Elvira. And Bill Nye.
dan
									
Well that’s what—
justin
									
Dan didn’t think Elvira’s boobs were big enough.
crosstalk
									
Justin: [Inaudible.] Elliott: That’s his big note to Warner’s on this one.
elliott
									
“Warner’s animation, I have one general note. This is a world note, just for the whole movie: Elvira is known for her cleavage and yet—" [Dan laughs.] Within that note comes a secondary note. “In the scene where Daphne and Elvira switch clothes, we don’t see that process taking place?” [Stuart laughs.] “That seems like a wasted opportunity. For me, deviant art scholar, Dan McCoy.”
crosstalk
									
Justin: That’s gonna hurt our international box office for sure. Dan: I’m just—in—in your own words, Elliott—
dan
									
—that is one of Elvira’s main things. That has been removed. I’m not saying it should be in the movie, but even in her movie, which—the name—I’ve forgotten.
stuart
									
Elvira, Mistress of the Dark?
justin
									
Mistress of the Dark.
dan
									
Elvira, Mistress of the Dark. [Elliott laughs.] The—
elliott
									
How could Dan remember that name for the movie? [Laughs.]
dan
									
She wins over many of the townspeople by doing a burlesque routine where her boobs spin her tassels around. Elvira knows that that is a key component to her whole thing. And yeah. It is just wild that [through laughter] she’s in the movie.
justin
									
Wild. It’s wild.
stuart
									
Yeah. She’s great. So she’s the grand marshal and she’s on the main float. The Scooby Doo gang—what, Mystery Inc. in their name?
elliott
									
Mm-hm. Yeah.
stuart
									
Are already undercover in costume, which is interesting for later. Trying to, y’know, they think there’s gonna be a monster attack or they’re trying to prove monsters aren’t real. Just about then the Bahn Mi shop explodes— [Dan laughs.] —and a hobgoblin pumpkin-headed character comes flying out and starts throwing pumpkin bombs and stuff.
elliott
									
And I know what you’re thinking. You’re like, “Wait a minute. Is Scooby Doo crossing over with Marvel comics and their Jack O’Lantern villain?” No, wrong comics universe, friends! As you’re about to find out.
dan
									
Or—I mean—doesn’t the Green Goblin throw pumpkin bombs?
crosstalk
									
Stuart: He does, yeah. Elliott: Yeah, but he doesn’t have a jack-o’-lantern on his head.
elliott
									
But Jack O’Lantern uses a lot of Green Goblin’s old stuff. Green Goblin left a lot of his weapons all over New York because—one—he’s a pack rat. And two, just in case—I guess—he was in the Nabe and he needed to switch costumes and so Hobgoblin, Jack O’Lantern, Demogoblin—they’re all always borrowing Green Goblin’s old stuff. Y’know.
dan
									
Okay. Well—
justin
									
That’s—it’s Scarecrow.
crosstalk
									
Dan: Yeah. It’s Scarecrow in Gotham City. Elliott: [Through laughter] It’s Scarecrow. Stuart: After— Justin: It’s Scarecrow.
justin
									
And you watch that and you think—when I first watched this, I thought, “Oh, this is a Batman crossover? Nope!” [Multiple people laugh.] “It’s just Scarecrow!”
crosstalk
									
Stuart: Just Scarecrow. He’s branching out. Y’know. Dan: I watched this with—
stuart
									
He’s like, “I don’t just wanna be a Batman guy. I wanna be a little bit of everything.”
dan
									
90% of the time I’m watching the movie with Audrey and 90% of the time she loses interest almost immediately. But she was on the edge of her seat for this one ‘cause she’s a big Scooby Doo fan from way back. She actually convinced me to watch Scoob! a while back. But—
justin
									
Sorry. [Elliott laughs.]
dan
									
She said, “Oh, it’s the Scarecrow!” And I thought she was just joking for a while. ‘Cause I missed the fact that—they’re like, “Oh, from Gotham!” But no. It’s actually—it’s—
elliott
									
Actually Dr. Crane. Not Frasier Crane, but what if—wait a minute! Hold on. What if Frasier Crane was the Scarecrow’s brother? Hold on a second! There’s a third Crane brother. He’s not in Seattle. He’s in Gotham. And he’s the Scarecrow. I gotta see it happen. Okay.
stuart
									
So he’s about to attack ‘em with a bunch of drones, and then Fred uses a phone app that is not a trap to turn ‘em off and then they shoot ‘em with a crossbow. [Laughs.]
elliott
									
Now here’s the thing I like about this right off the bat. Is now I have to assume that Batman and Scooby Doo coexist in the same universe. Which I love, because I’ve been having some real issues with Batman lately as I come to realize that he is, essentially, a character who uses violence to solve a mental illness problem? And that his entire series is a long-running argument against empathy for anyone who commits a crime and in favor of just throwing ‘em into an easily-escapable asylum? But here—if Scooby Doo exists in that world? Then all bets are off. You know what? Maybe Batman’s the right way to handle it ‘cause this world is nuts. [All laugh.] If there’s just a talking dog who’s also a pothead who solves mysteries with some teens who don’t have families? Then like, okay, sure. Maybe Batman makes sense.
stuart
									
So there’s a couple of turnarounds. It looks like Scarecrow’s dead man’s switch is gonna launch a huge new batch o’ drones and then Shaggy picks up Scooby and uses him like an anti-aircraft gun— [Dan laughs.] —and he spits candy that is still fully-wrapped out of his mouth and shoots down all of the drones.
dan
									
Yeah. They were terrified. They locked the doors to the Mystery Van, not allowing their teammates to get back in. And yeah. They’ve just been swallowing a bunch of fully-wrapped candy for the credit sequence.
stuart
									
It’s easier to animate.
dan
									
Yeah.
elliott
									
[Laughs.] Yes. Yeah. Now here’s a—I wanted to bring up—so as always with Scooby Doo, it looks like it’s a supernatural thing. It’s some guy with pumpkin powers. No, it’s just drones and stuff. Were you guys as kids ever as disappointed as I was that every episode of Scooby Doo ended with the reassuring message that monsters and ghosts don’t’ exist, and it’s just old men who don’t’ want people to go to their amusement parks for some reason? [Justin laughs.]
dan
									
Well, it is my—I mean, Scoob! breaks with that tradition. There is actual, like, supernatural stuff going on. And it’s my understanding that some of the more recent Scooby Doo versions have had actual supernatural stuff going on.
elliott
									
Oh, okay. I’m not fully up on Scooby Doo’s modern continuity— [Dan laughs.] —which is why one of the characters in this really threw me off when it turns out he was a continuing character.
dan
									
I mean, I understand—Scooby Doo in general—I understand having affection for it in the way that I understand having affection for any old garbage from your childhood? [Laughs.] [Elliott laughs.] But let’s stipulate that the original cartoons were not very good. I mean, they’ve done—I think they have done some better versions of it over the years, so I hear. But I don’t—it is wild to some degree that this is—Scooby Doo has been in syndication from the 1980s. They’re they’ve done so many different versions.
elliott
									
He’s the longest-running television cartoon character that there is. His show’s been on the air in some form or another basically—with few breaks since the early ‘70s? Late ‘60s? And like… considering his main—when I think about him, his main thing that I can think of is like this kind of shit brown color palette that is—
dan
									
Oh, wow.
elliott
									
—hideously unappealing. There’s no—there’s nothing visually appealing about the show. And also that every episode ends with them being like, “Uh oh! A monster! Psych! Kids, there’s no magic in the world. It’s just an old man in a mask.” [Dan laughs.] But this one really turned around for me, partly because it’s a very colorful show. Yeah.
dan
									
Yeah. It is a much prettier-looking version.
stuart
									
I was actually going to say, I feel like the animation was a little bit herky-jerky and not particularly appealing to me, but then I don’t watch a lot of animation for kids. How about you daddies out there?
justin
									
It—I would say middle of the pack. It’s serviceable. It’s certainly better than a lot of the animation you see on television is a lot fewer frames of—much less animation. Per square inch. [Laughs.] Of that. [Dan laughs.]
dan
									
I would say that—for me, the limited cell animation was—the animation itself was not good, but I liked the brightness of the designs.
stuart
									
Okay. So they save the day. They start to celebrate. They—the cops show up to take Scarecrow away. Velma has some verbal sparring with the Scarecrow and he gives ‘em a mysterious threat. Daphne uses a whole bunch of outdated slang and I feel like she’s drunk on white wine spritzers. [Justin laughs.] Let’s see…
elliott
									
I found that whole sequence surprisingly funny but at the same time I was like, “Who is Daphne supposed to be here? What is her personality?”
justin
									
Daphne is—here’s what I like about this—what I really like—other than the fact—well, I’ll talk about a lot of things I like. One of the things I enjoy about this film is that I feel like one of the things that has put me off of Scooby Doo to this point is I feel like Scooby Doo has been meta at this point longer than it has been Scooby Doo, right? Almost all of our Scooby Doo media is a running gag about how—y’know, like a Brady Bunch movie-style, like, sort of… it’s usually riding this line between parody and earnestness. And I feel like this movie really doesn’t… lean as hard—it’s funny of its own… creation. Right? What it does is it makes choices for each of these characters that is not necessarily referencing Scooby Doo from 40 years ago, but is rather, like, it’s making choices that let them be funny. So in this one, Daphne is very strange. I mean, Daphne is the oddball of the group. And Fred is funny not because he’s referencing what a—y’know—lovable… doofus—
dan
									
Lunkhead?
justin
									
Yeah. But like… he’s funny for other reasons. Because he is his own character that is not a meta-commentary on Fred of yore. [Elliott laughs.]
elliott
									
Ye olde Fred.
dan
									
Yeah. I agree that—when we were watching this, we’re like, “Oh, Daphne gets to be funny in this!” ‘Cause usually, Daphne, I think, is the biggest blank in it. They’re just like, “Okay.” Well she and Fred both. They’re just like, “Okay, these are like our pretty leaders, but I don’t really know who they are.”
stuart
									
Yeah. And she’s—what—effective? She has skills and is the physical one. I guess Fred, too, can make traps and use apps. Um—so they—
elliott
									
That was the thing. Fred kept talking about traps and I was like, “Was that always his thing? Did I forget that Fred’s thing was traps? ‘Cause I thought his thing was just being like the guy who could walk into a normal, like, establishment situation and have like some kind of face that is trusted as opposed to Shaggy, who is clearly a dropout from society. I thought Fred was just kinda like the guy who would go in to be like, ‘They can trust me. I’m wearing an ascot. It’s okay.’”
dan
									
No, it is definitely one of those things where it’s like a Back to the Future II situation, where it’s like—wait, was Marty’s thing before that he doesn’t like being called a chicken? ‘Cause I don’t remember that! [All laugh.]
justin
									
Now he had—Fred has one of the best—one of my favorite Fred lines. Is he says, “I wanna do what I do best—I’m gonna do traps.” [All laugh.]
stuart
									
So they decide to celebrate by going trick-or-treating. They talk about how they don’t have costumes, which is weird ‘cause Fred is wearing like a half-skeleton costume the whole movie. [Dan laughs.]
elliott
									
I mean, he’s wearing the costume from Karate Kid that those kids were wearing on Halloween. He could just wear that skeleton costume.
stuart
									
Yep. So Shaggy and Scooby, of course, chew mouthfuls of candy and then spit it all over themselves and cover themselves with extra candy and become spilled Halloween candy is their costume. It’s wild. [Dan laughs.] And then they have a trick-or-treating and dancing montage? To an original song, I’m assuming, created for this movie.
elliott
									
There’s a few times in the movie where I think it’s about to become a musical and then it doesn’t quite. Become a musical. Like, the feint at it and the characters sing a little bit and then it just kinda goes away. And you’re like, “Oh, okay. Kinda thought you’d do a whole number here, but I guess not.”
stuart
									
So they then find a wrecked drone and a wrecked toxic waste truck and the two things combine to smear their juice all over a local pumpkin patch, which turns— [Multiple people laugh.] —the pumpkins into monsters, which are heretofore known as Jackal-Lanterns.
elliott
									
Now why do you think the call them “Jackal-Lanterns”? They’re not scavengers. Y’know. Like jackal—they don’t have anything like jackals, basically.
stuart
									
I think it sounds like jack-o’-lantern, Elliott.
elliott
									
Oohhhh. [Multiple people laugh.] Oh, okay.
stuart
									
Behavior-wise, they’re a lot kind of like critters that are also zombies. And they can fly and drive custom hotrods.
elliott
									
And they laugh. They’ve got a very Gremlin-y laugh. Although I guess it’s a critters-y laugh, too. But unlike Ghoulies, they don’t get ya in the end.
stuart
									
Well, actually, they kinda do later on. But—
dan
									
That’s true.
elliott
									
And are they like Munchies? I don’t really remember what the Munchies used to do.
dan
									
Well they look up women’s dresses based on the VHS post—[inaudible].
elliott
									
And what about Trancers? Were Trancers like this?
stuart
									
Oh man. Trancers are completely different. Involves jumping to different dimensions. Jack Death is involved. It’s great. So the rest of the gang meets—
elliott
									
And what about Bad News Bears? Are those— [Laughs.] Are those little creatures?
dan
									
They’re just kind of… racists in that 1970s way.
elliott
									
Oh, okay. Okay. Got it. And what about Little Big Leagues? Is that— [Laughs.]
dan
									
Oh, god. [Laughs.]
stuart
									
Uh… so while Shaggy and Scooby are watching the Jackal-Lanterns origin story, the rest of the team meets the local sheriff, who threatens them and then takes away the Scarecrow. Obviously burn case for defund. They meet locals—
elliott
									
Wait, Stuart. He—I mean, if any criminal seems to be an imminent danger that should be locked up at the moment, it seems to be the Scarecrow.
stuart
									
Yeah. I mean, I’m not talking about the way they’re handling the Scarecrow. I’m just talking about the general sheriff’s overreach in his ways interacting with these helpful teenagers.
elliott
									
Oh, okay. Okay. Fair. Fair.
stuart
									
So we meet a local father and daughter team, Mike and Michelle. Mike thanks them for—
elliott
									
Also known as a family. Father-daughter team? [All laugh.]
stuart
									
They thank them for saving the town and offer “to buy y’all a caramel corn later on.” Well, we’ll see if that ever happens. [All laugh.] The gang—
crosstalk
									
Elliott: So you’re positing that that’s sort of a Chekhov’s caramel corn purchase offer. Dan: Foreshadowing. [Laughs.]
elliott
									
Where if you promise the purchase of a caramel corn in act one, by act three we better see that caramel corn get purchased.
stuart
									
Shaggy and Scooby show up. They try and warn the local reporters, who are very excited about the saving of the town, that the town is in fact not saved. That there are a bunch of Jackal-Lanterns on their way. Nobody believes them ‘cause they’re covered in candy and there’s an owl stuck on his butt. [Multiple people laugh.] Daphne then sings an original song that is very kind of stream-of-consciousness Elliott Kalan quality. While cleaning Shaggy and Scooby. [Dan laughs.]
elliott
									
I had—let me read to you from my notes. Let me read to you from my notes. “Daphne sings a real Elliott-style song.” I wrote— [Stuart laughs.] So I appreciated that part.
stuart
									
Yeah. That was great.
elliott
									
I felt seen by Happy Halloween, Scooby Doo. [Laughs.]
stuart
									
Uh-huh. Now we have our next celebrity cameo—Bill Nye shows up and he organizes— [Dan laughs.] —an air-drop for the team to receive a new fancy Mystery Machine. Mystery Machine X.
dan
									
Now again—again, I think this is a strange thing. Because at one point—
justin
									
Huh.
dan
									
Bill Nye was sort of a figure for children. But at this point in history, I think he’s mostly known for appearing on CNN, sort of throwing his hands up at the fact that no one believes in science anymore.
justin
									
But that is—what is fascinating about it is that that is what—if this movie is about anything, that is what this movie is about. Is it about Velma struggling with the limits of science and belief and where those two intertwine. And the overlap of fear and science and belief.
crosstalk
									
Stuart: Yeah. And that’s why Bill Nye is the perfect— Justin: If this movie is about anything, it’s about that.
stuart
									
—perfect guy. I wish they didn’t de-sexify him so much, because, y’know. [Dan laughs.] Fine.
crosstalk
									
Stuart: Fine. It’s a kid’s movie. I get it. I guess you do, yeah. But I mean I feel like he could’ve been sexier. Elliott: You do see him as a sexy cat at one point. He is a sexy cat at one point, yeah. The sexiest animal.
stuart
									
So the new Mystery Machine is like a cool automated… like, robo-car that has arms at times—
elliott
									
Stuart, wait. So your issue with their handling of Bill Nye is similar to Dan’s issue with their handling of Elvira. The character who is just radiating sexuality and is known for that has been neutered for a child audience. Okay.
justin
									
Bill Nye largely appears in the movie as the—a hologram? [Dan laughs.] In their car? And you think it’s a Bill Nye AI, but it’s not that because he’s interrupted by trick-or-treaters. One of whom is dressed like Aquaman, who he then complains about the unbelievability of the Aquaman character. But he’s—it’s real! It’s real Bill Nye! So Bill Nye’s just sitting there as a hologram in the van. There’s no call for it.
elliott
									
He’s just Twitch livestreaming direct to their van via hologram, and—here’s the thing. We live in a world where—now in this show where Scarecrow is real, meaning Batman is real. Aquaman? Bill Nye has a lot of issues with how Aquaman could exist, which implies either, one, Aquaman is not real in this strange DC/Hanna-Barbera hybrid, or two, Bill Nye is always writing letters to the local newspaper saying “Aquaman is a hoax and I can prove it. The science doesn’t make sense. Here’s my seven-minute YouTube video on how Aquaman’s not real. Fake news. Fake news. Aquaman.” And I just don’t wanna believe that Bill Nye is harassing Aquaman that way.
dan
									
I also think that Justin brings up a good point, which is—the fact that he is not an AI and that he’s built this for the Mystery, Inc. teens—like, is he committing himself to always sitting there in that chair, helping them and being like their kid, y’know?
justin
									
It’s a good question.
stuart
									
I mean, y’know, it depends. Like… there’s times in our lives where we just kinda wanna hang out and really enjoy our long-distance connections as opposed to the people that are nearest that maybe know us too well. That sometimes it’s better to work on a relationship where there’s a little bit of extra distance.
dan
									
With a bunch of teens in a van. [Laughs.]
stuart
									
Yeah. I mean, that’s totally normal. Right?
elliott
									
I mean, would it be weird—it would be weirder if Bill Nye was just roaming the country with a bunch of teens in a van solving mysteries, right? Like, that would be more questionable.
dan
									
Maybe that’s it. He’s like—he knows that there needs to be distance if he wants to help ‘em out.
elliott
									
Well and he—and also he and Daphne used to date—
crosstalk
									
Elliott: —and he knows it would be weird if you don’t have— [Laughs.] Dan: Okay. Well now we’re getting into a weird area. Let’s just— [Laughs.] Moving on.
stuart
									
So Scooby and Shaggy get tired of hitting at Jackal-Lanterns, so Shaggy sits on it. And then it turns into a monster pumpkin and bites him on the butt and he says, “Look, I’ve got a pumpkin butt.” [Dan laughs.] That was cool. The reporters and various people are being attacked by the Jackal-Lanterns. A Jewish-coded reporter gets eaten by a giant Jackal-Lantern and then gets turned into a Jackal-Lantern? Uh, the ground starts to be torn apart—riven by earthquakes. Shaggy and Scooby jump into a station wagon with Mike and Michelle. Daphne manages to convince Elvira to take her on as a protégé— [Dan laughs.] —and Fred and Velma drive away in the new Mystery Machine X! And now it’s a driving movie.
dan
									
Yeah.
justin
									
For, like, the rest of it. [All laugh.]
elliott
									
For a long time.
justin
									
You keep remembering, like, wait—this car chase is still going on! It is the Fury Road of Scooby Doo movies. It’s wild.
dan
									
They have whole conversations with one another from [through laughter] one vehicle to another. [Multiple people laugh.]
crosstalk
									
Dan: I honestly, like—no, I just— Justin: Speaking of conversation—go ahead, Dan.
dan
									
The beginning of the movie zipped along a lot more for me, honestly, than this long car chase? ‘Cause at a certain point—
justin
									
Ironically.
elliott
									
Oh, you mean the 45 minutes of them driving didn’t zip along the way you expected it would? [Laughs.]
dan
									
At a certain point I’m like, “Get out of the car, guys.” [Elliott laughs.]
justin
									
Yeah. It’s like they didn’t write any more movie [through laughter] so they’re all driving very slowly to the end of the movie. [Multiple people laugh.]
elliott
									
There’s part of me that imagined them just—the movie ended with them driving off into the sunset, forever chased by these Jackal-Lanterns. Never getting out of their cars. [Laughs.]
stuart
									
Yeah. It’s funny you should mention that, ‘cause the Jackal-Lanterns are hot on their tail with their own custom hotrods that I think are built out of the parade floats? I can’t quite tell.
crosstalk
									
Justin: Yes. They look like that. Elliott: Yeah. Yeah.
elliott
									
It’s a real Monster Garage: Special Edition. Where they just like took—they’re like, “Take these floats and turn ‘em into cool monster trucks!” And they’re like, “Yeah, we can do that!” [Imitates sound of electric saw.] “The customer was a bunch of Jackal-Lanterns, but we decided we were still gonna do as good a job as we can. Hey—we need this part.” “Well, oh, it’s—we have to get that from Japan. Jackal-Lanterns, this is gonna take awhile?” “Uh, but we are kinda chasing these teens.” “Okay. We’ll do as best as we can.” “We don’t have a lot of time.” So the Monster Garage guys had to get on it! [Imitates electric saw.] Those are the tools.
dan
									
Y’know— [Laughs.] [Multiple people laugh.] Elliott, this shows a greater familiar with Monster Garage that I would’ve expected out of you.
elliott
									
I used to watch a lot of Monster Garage. Monster House? I was never as much into. Because there’s something about having a crazy themed car that I can understand. But when you theme your house around something? It really—like, you’re not gonna wanna live inside of a dinosaur cave every day. And that’s coming from me, a guy who wishes he could live in a dinosaur cave, like, three days out of the week? [Dan laughs.] But there was a Monster House where it’s like, “The baby’s coming, and we decided to make his room underwater themed.” So there are sharks everywhere and fish? And I was like, “Ooh, I hope this kid likes underwater stuff ‘cause this is gonna be a bad room if he doesn’t like it.”
justin
									
I did that with my daughter. My first daughter. We made her room space themed. And almost as soon as she could talk, she informed me how much she hated the space theme of her room. [Multiple people laugh.]
elliott
									
[Through laughter] Oh no!
justin
									
And how much she wished it was princesses. And so I had to have this sad montage of me like taking the rocket ships down off the wall and piling them on my arms. And the stupid Doctor Who clock just piled on top. [Elliott laughs.] The starry curtains straight in the trash. [Multiple people laugh.]
stuart
									
With a little scraper, like, scraping the stars off the ceiling.
justin
									
Yeah. Uh, wow. I did exactly that. Um—can we take a brief diversion to just check in on Matthew Lillard real quick? [Multiple people laugh.] I wanna talk about Matthew Lillard and this is celebratory. I am not ragging on him whatsoever because I’m envious in a way. 2002—Matthew Lillard plays the role of Shaggy Rogers in the movie Scooby Doo. And then Matthew Lillard’s like, “You know what? This is good for me.” [Dan laughs.] “I’m just gonna stay here if that’s alright. And everybody can go about their business. I’m just [through laughter] gonna chill here.”
dan
									
[Through laughter] Except for appearing in Twin Peaks: The Return briefly. [Laughs.]
justin
									
Yeah. I’m gonna dip in on David Lynch’s return to television and then I’m just gonna keep—
stuart
									
And Good Girls.
justin
									
He’s done other stuff. Yeah. He’s done other stuff but the fact that he just like—even the last movie had Will Forte as Shaggy and they were like, “Certainly Matthew’s not gonna come back after that.” He’s like, “No, it’s fine. I’ll just come right back. It’s really not a big deal.”
dan
									
Well and there was like a big—like, well not “big.” But big for Scooby Doo. Internet controversy where they’re all like—everyone’s like, “Why are they giving Will Forte—Matthew Lillard has been playing this part since 2002!”
justin
									
He has been putting in the work! I mean, he’s great. And like Kate Micucci is so—she’s so good as Velma, it’s weird that she hasn’t always been Velma. It’s like it’s that—that sort of perfect. But I just think it’s fascinating. Matthew Lillard’s like, “Nah, this is good. I’ll just keep doing it. It’s pretty easy and I get money for it and it’s fun to keep being this guy.” And I don’t think we have a lot of—unless you want to look at like… a Bret Iwan or one of the Mickey lineage. Like, you don’t have this level of… interconnectedness between a character and a voice actor that goes on for, y’know, years and years and years and years and years. It’s wild.
elliott
									
That’s—it’s always—whenever they would have like a guest star on the Simpsons and that character would become a fairly regular recurring character? I always imagine—think it’s weird that Joe Mantegna still goes in and they’re like, “Yeah, yeah. Fat Tony’s in this episode. Can you come in, record three lines?” “Yeah, sure, okay. Yeah, why not? Okay.”
justin
									
No problem.
elliott
									
But I always thought it was weird that—
stuart
									
Who did Shaggy before Matthew Lillard?
elliott
									
Casey Kasem.
crosstalk
									
Elliott: Did Shaggy for most of it. Stuart: Casey Kasem. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course.
elliott
									
And I always thought it was weird that Casey Kasem had his own big career, but he was still for years the same thing—coming in and doing Shaggy and stuff. It’s like—
justin
									
Is it just maybe really great to be Shaggy? It’s like so—what a joyful connection.
stuart
									
This might be a crazy question, but why wasn’t Casey Kasem in the live-action movie as Shaggy?
elliott
									
Uh, well— [Multiple people laugh.] I mean, one, by that point, he was either a very old man or dead. I can’t remember which. [Multiple people laugh.]
justin
									
The “live” part. “Live” would’ve been challenging for Casey Kasem.
elliott
									
Yeah. Let’s take a look at Casey Kasem and see— [Multiple people laugh.] —how alive he was when that movie came out. Let’s see.
crosstalk
									
Elliott: Oh, he was alive! He was alive. Okay. Okay. Uh, he— Stuart: I don’t think it’s fair for you to judge me. I think it’s a totally normal question to ask. [Laughs.]
dan
									
Well you did ask if it was crazy ahead of time. So that—
elliott
									
That’s true. So he voiced Norville “Shaggy” Rogers from 1969 to 1997. Then again from 2002 to 2009, it says. So in 2002 he was 70 years old? So it might’ve been a little strange if it was like these young people playing the rest of the characters and then a 70-year-old man in a—
stuart
									
Yeah. It’s like N-15.
elliott
									
And if anything, what’s weird about it is that Shaggy is so clearly a takeoff of Maynard G. Krebs from the Dobie Gillis show, ‘cause they’re basically the Dobie Gillis characters—why didn’t they just get Bob Denver to do it? I don’t know. Look. I’m not Hanna or Barbera. I can’t answer these questions. I mean, the answer is probably that Bob Denver wanted too much money. But I don’t know. We’ll have to go into an oral history somewhere to find out.
justin
									
It’s also worth noting that Casey Kasem did voice Shaggy Rogers in the year of his death, 2014. So that was a… seventy… two? Judging from Wikipedia here? No, sorry! Eighty-two-year-old man! [Multiple people laugh.] Voicing a local teen! [Multiple people laugh.] [Through laughter] Shaggy Rogers!
stuart
									
Yeah. The directors are like, “Okay, Casey. Just remember you’re a teenager.” [Dan laughs.] “This is what teenagers care about.”
dan
									
“Is it the Charleston?”
stuart
									
I always kind of assumed Shaggy was a little bit older than a teenager at this point.
elliott
									
I mean, they’re all supposed to be teens. Here’s something that Wikipedia says and I wonder if it’s true—that Casey Kasem was at first uncomfortable about being assigned to Shaggy, as he had never before portrayed a hippie character. He wanted to play Fred, and Frank Welker—who, of course, has played Fred for the entire—I think—of the run, wanted to play Shaggy. But instead, CBS assigned them the other way. It’s just like that old story about how originally, Christopher Walken was going to play Han Solo and Betty Davis was gonna play Princess Leia. And they decided at the last minute that they did not want Christopher Walken to play it or an elderly woman to play Princess Leia. Y’know. And originally Chewbacca was gonna be played by the late Clark Gable. It’s just amazing when you hear about who was gonna play these roles. [Multiple people laugh.]
dan
									
Oh god. Okay.
stuart
									
So back to the chase. Daphne uses a blowtorch to cut the parade float loose from the back of Elvira’s car, which then runs into all the Jackal-Lanterns’ hotrods, which explode like Mad Max: Fury Road. So they get a little bit of breathing space. Y’know, they’re still on their tail but they got a little bit of room to breathe. Not as much room as in the movie The Chase where Charlie Sheen and Kristy Swanson have a sex scene while being chased by the cops. That’s crazy. [Dan laughs.] SO they argue about being scared; whether or not it’s logical or not. This is when Velma starts talking about mind palaces and it’s like, of course. It’s 2020. If you have a smart character in your property, they have to talk about memory palaces or they have to be able to play fucking chess on the ceiling. Like— [Multiple people laugh.] —well I don’t buy it. I don’t believe it.
crosstalk
									
Stuart: They gotta be able to do things in slow motion. Dan: Like all smart people.
elliott
									
We just started watching that show and we just watched the episode where she tears the canopy of her bed because chess doesn’t work on a bed canopy. It only works on a ceiling. [Multiple people laugh.]
stuart
									
Yeah. Oh man, that was great.
elliott
									
I haven’t finished Queen’s Gambit yet. Does she play Lionel Richie, who of course has the strength of being able to sit on the ceiling while playing? [Multiple people laugh.]
dan
									
Like, the nutty thing is—I haven’t watched that movie and I just accepted that as Stuart’s crazy joke about a thing that smart people do. [All laugh.]
stuart
									
Yeah. Y’know, I got crossover appeal. So… they speed up. They catch up to the sheriff and the paddy wagon that is carrying the Scarecrow. It is quite a large van, to be honest with you.
elliott
									
And it looks even bigger on the inside. Once they get inside it, it’s like they’re inside an office building. There’s so much room in there. [Justin laughs.]
stuart
									
The sheriff then gets overtaken by Jackal-Lanterns and then—
justin
									
Oh, we skipped my favorite sheriff dialogue!
stuart
									
My mistake! Explain, please!
justin
									
No, please—Fred—Fred and the sheriff are talking— [Laughs.]
stuart
									
And by talking, they’re yelling out the window, right?
justin
									
Yeah. They’re yelling [through laughter] out the window to each other and the sheriff said that the kids should go back because even though he gives ‘em a hard time, they’re pretty much the closest thing to family he’s got. [Multiple people laugh.] [Through laughter] Fred said, “We’ve talked eight or ten times!” [All laugh.] It’s great.
stuart
									
Oh man.
justin
									
It’s great.
stuart
									
Yeah. The sheriff is definitely the—at this point is still a wild card. Was there a previous movie—‘cause they keep referencing a thing—
crosstalk
									
Elliott: Yes. So apparently—apparently the sheriff was in a couple of previous Scooby Doo movies. This is a long [inaudible]. Stuart: There’s a previous movie that he was in. Okay. Yeah. This should be all payoff. Dan: A couple of ‘em. So they’ve been setting this up for a while. There’s things that they’re setting up we haven’t gotten to, but yes.
elliott
									
This character was seen in Curse of the 13th Ghost and Return to Zombie Island, setting up his appearance here. Now my question—you’ve been to Zombie Island once. You know there’s zombies on it. Why are you returning to zombie island? [Multiple people laugh.]
stuart
									
I mean, that’s the question that the title raises, Elliott. That’s why you’re like—
crosstalk
									
Stuart: “I gotta see what’s so cool about this fucking zombie island.” Dan: You lost your wallet. [Laughs.] [Elliott laughs.]
elliott
									
“I lost a ring on Zombie Island. We gotta go back.”
stuart
									
So they—the pumpkins take over some construction equipment. That’s not gonna be good. They then— [Laughs.] They then start interviewing the Scarecrow. Somehow Scooby and Shaggy Doo, they take their Scooby Snacks and then they flip over some things and land in the paddy wagon with Velma. Bill Nye gets distracted by the trick-or-treaters as we mentioned, and the Mystery Machine starts misbehaving. Go on, Dan?
dan
									
Y’know, Scooby Snacks—obviously a big part of Scooby Doo lore. Why are they—there’s a product out there that’s named after this dog? Is that what the—
stuart
									
Yes.
dan
									
We are to believe?
crosstalk
									
Stuart: Or did they name the dog after the product? Elliott: Maybe—maybe Scoob— Dan: ‘Cause it is—
elliott
									
Well maybe Scooby is a brand of dog in this world. Not a brand. A breed of dog.
crosstalk
									
Stuart: No, they call them brands. Elliott: Like, maybe a “scooby” is a kind of dog.
elliott
									
Yeah. [Through laughter] Or brand. I mean, dogs are all working on their brands these days. Y’know. They’re all entrepreneurs. But it does seem—it is a packaged product. It’s not something they make. But maybe they named him after it! Like a dog—
justin
									
That’s what Scoob! Suggests. Right? I think is that he was named after the snack.
crosstalk
									
Dan: Ah, okay. Elliott: Okay. Justin: Do you guys take—
justin
									
Okay, real quick. Quick—just don’t even think about it. Sweet or savory?
justin
									
I think—
crosstalk
									
Dan and Stuart: Savory. Stuart: Yeah. Elliott: Yeah. I think— Justin: Savory?
elliott
									
Well actually, I don’t know! I don’t know.
justin
									
The ones they made for kids are like graham cracker type things, but kids aren’t gonna eat—y’know, it tastes like Chicken in a Biskit then kids aren’t gonna eat it.
crosstalk
									
Justin: They only like sweet stuff. Elliott: No. They need sugar.
elliott
									
Kids love anything sweet and they hate anything not sweet. If my kids—my children, who like to eat literally spoonfuls of sugar like they’re taking medicine from Mary Poppins. Like—
crosstalk
									
Stuart: It’s like when kids come into the bar, I’m always like— Elliott: But then also—
stuart
									
“Hey, that cocktail they ordered? Put another squirt of simple syrup in it.” [Elliott laughs.]
crosstalk
									
Justin: [Through laughter] They love it sweet. Dan: I gotta say— Elliott: Put some complex syrup in that.
elliott
									
It’s gotta be real sweet. [Multiple people laugh.]
dan
									
I’ve been going the other way. When I was a kid I only liked sort of like… salty things?
crosstalk
									
Justin: That explains it. Stuart: Yeah.
dan
									
And I got— [Laughs.] I got a sweet tooth as I grew older, which explains my expanding waistline, I think. But like—
justin
									
I was gonna say, that’s a bad time—that’s when we’re all least [through laughter] biologically capable of dealing with sweet teeth. [Multiple people laugh.]
elliott
									
That’s when you want your savory teeth to grow in. Now I always assumed Scooby Doo—
crosstalk
									
Elliott: —was named after Scooba Dooba— Stuart: Savory Teeth is my least-favorite Twisted Metal character. [Multiple people laugh.]
elliott
									
I always thought he was named after Scooba Dooba, the Bruce Jay Friedman off-Broadway play. But maybe that’s not it. Maybe that’s not the case. But let’s say for the purposes of this moment of us talking about this show, that he exists in a world where there is a famous snack called Scooby Snacks. Scooby Doo as a puppy loved them, so they named him Scooby Doo because a dog’s body—when you think about it in that case—is a machine for turning Scooby into doo. And that’s where the name comes from, everybody! Stuart? What’s going on in that car chase? [Laughs.] [Dan laughs.]
stuart
									
Okay! So at this point, Velma, Shaggy, and Scooby are inside the armored truck and they are interrogating the Scarecrow. Then the construction equipment starts to tear apart that paddy wagon. Scarecrow suggests that there may be a different villain—that he’s not behind all these pumpkins. Fred saves Mike and Michelle using the Mystery Machine’s long arms and then it runs out of electric power, probably because of all that shit. [Elliott laughs.] Velma tried to save the Scarecrow from the Jackal-Lanterns but has to fight a bunch of them, and then Scarecrow puts on his suit and he does all kinds of fucking badass flips. He pulls out a scythe.
crosstalk
									
Justin: It’s sick! Stuart: Does he do that stuff in the comics?
elliott
									
I mean, I always—I don’t—to be honest, whenever I’ve seen a Scarecrow comic, he just uses fear gas to make people fall on the ground and then he runs away or steals—I don’t think of him as a badass fighter. But everybody in this show is. They all have moves.
dan
									
I mean, this is the useful thing that they—where Velma has released him. Like he is effective in helping them fight. But they set it up like, “Oh, Velma, I gotta go get some clues from him.” And they have this scene that is kind of like, y’know, Clarisse visiting Hannibal Lecter. [Justin laughs.] Another thing that kids—
crosstalk
									
Justin: It’s very much so. Dan: Won’t understand. Stuart: Yeah. It’s a reference that the kids are looking for, too.
elliott
									
Well, because she also does walk past Zazz in his cell and he throws a cupful of cum at her, just like in Silence of the Lambs. So. [Multiple people laugh.]
crosstalk
									
Dan: But like—I don’t think that she gets— Stuart: Zazz always do it. Justin: It would be the third-weirdest thing in this movie— [Multiple people laugh.]
justin
									
—if that did happen.
dan
									
But I don’t think she actually gets any clues from talking to him. She already knew that he said that there was some other person in charge.
elliott
									
She gets nothing from the conversation. But then he becomes a hero and saves them, mainly because he’s a big fan of Elvira, it turns out.
dan
									
Yeah. Which makes sense. The whole Mystery, Inc. plus Mike and Michelle all jump into Elvira’s car.
justin
									
Mike and Michelle just keep being in this movie. [Multiple people laugh.] It is super not clear why.
stuart
									
He made a vague promise about caramel corn? Caramel corn?
justin
									
It’s like a life debt? He’s like, “I’ve gotta follow these kids. Get ‘em that caramel corn.” [Multiple people laugh.]
stuart
									
Yeah. Otherwise—like a normal reaction would be, “I’m just gonna leave these teenagers to be killed by these pumpkins.” Right?
justin
									
[Through laughter] “I have a daughter!”
elliott
									
Well I mean—if I was somewhere with my young children I wouldn’t be like, “We’re in an adventure now, kids. Hurry up.” ‘Cause at any moment Mike and Michelle could just pull off on any exit and go into a town and not be chased by pumpkin monsters. Y’know. [Justin laughs.]
stuart
									
So the Scarecrow gets overcome by the Jackal-Lanterns—
justin
									
Did we mention Mike’s in a cowboy costume? [All laugh.]
elliott
									
They’re both dressed as cowfolk. That’s true. I forgot about that.
stuart
									
Maybe that’s part of it! Maybe he dressed up as a cowpoke. He’s like, “I feel a sense of—I’m honor-bound in this Western way to—"
justin
									
Yeah. “I’m inhabiting the look.”
stuart
									
The character, yeah. [Elliott laughs.] So they—
elliott
									
Modern-day Mike would run and save himself and his daughter, but Old West Mike? He follows a different code. He’s gotta do what’s right.
stuart
									
He follows the code that when their car runs out of gas, they abandon the vehicle and run off into the woods to a spooky house up a hill. They prepare to fight. Fred does this Predator—Dutch from Predator thing where he makes a bunch of fucking traps and then he lights a bonfire?
justin
									
[Laughs.] Which Daphne watches while eating popcorn. Watches shirtless Fred [through laughter] set all these traps. [Multiple people laugh.]
dan
									
Yeah. These are much more violent traps, too, than you’d expect. [Laughs.]
justin
									
These are death traps.
crosstalk
									
Stuart: Yeah. These are not to maim. Elliott: They are killing these pumpkins.
stuart
									
So Scooby and Shaggy then make Velma eat a Scooby Snack so they can follow her into her mind palace.
crosstalk
									
Justin: I don’t even know what— [Laughs.] Stuart: The Scooby Snack creates a bond, of course. And a— Elliott: You would expect that the FDA— Dan: What—
elliott
									
—would not allow this product on the market. [Justin laughs.] If it has this kind of psychotropic properties. This is something—
justin
									
It’s clearly like leaning into the drug references of Shaggy? But it doesn’t map to [through laughter] any sort of like—it doesn’t map 1:1 to a drug experience. I mean, they’re treating it almost like peyote or something? “We’ll all eat the same Scooby Snacks and we’ll be bonded”? It’s very strange.
stuart
									
So they travel through Velma’s memories of the inciting incident. They—they don’t really figure anything out, right? They just like—
dan
									
Well they do, ‘cause apparently their consciousness merges enough that she sees the drone—
crosstalk
									
Dan: —that Shaggy saw earlier. Stuart: She’s able to go into—yeah. Elliott: Mm-hm.
dan
									
That has the writing on it that will help crack the case.
stuart
									
Yep. So the pumpkins arrive and all their cars just get wrecked. It’s pretty crazy. And then Fred’s traps murder a shitload of pumpkins— [Dan laughs.] —and they charge and murder more pumpkins, along with a musical montage. This was pretty fun. And then despite all the—
elliott
									
They kinda—there’s so many points in the movie where they’re like, “I guess we gotta fight some pumpkins.” And they’re just massacring these pumpkins! Like they could easily take out all of ‘em! And then at a certain point they go, “Oop! More pumpkins! We gotta get outta here!” And I’m never quite sure how they do that mental math. But you gotta keep the story moving, I guess. And there’s that giant pumpkin that’s the size of an elephant, so.
dan
									
Yeah. I think they’re mostly afraid of that big pumpkin.
stuart
									
Yeah. So despite all their efforts, they’re surrounded. Velma admits that she is frightened, and she then charges into the alpha pumpkin’s mouth. Then an app shuts down all the pumpkins; turns out that they’re all drones and that the alpha pumpkins is like a drone factory that captures people and then takes their stuff and puts it on a new Jackal-Lantern? And then keeps them in a crappy little, like, cell? [Laughs.]
elliott
									
It’s an elaborate way of making you think that people are being turned into pumpkin monsters, when the pumpkin monsters would be just as effective if they didn’t try to convince you that they were turning people into pumpkin monsters.
crosstalk
									
Elliott: And they were just eating people. Dan: Mm-hm. Stuart: Okay, real quick.
stuart
									
Justin, if you’re captured by the alpha pumpkin, what of your garments would they take to put on a Jackal-Lantern to make us think, “Oh fuck, Justin’s now a Jackal-Lantern!”
crosstalk
									
Justin: A Hawaiian shirt, I guess, would be the one—my woodworking goggles. Stuart: A Hawaiian shirt, yeah. [Laughs.] Sure. [Dan laughs.]
elliott
									
They would fly out wearing those and we’d say, “It’s a McO’Lantern! We gotta get outta here!” [Stuart laughs.]
justin
									
I—that—guys, as a Flop House listener, I have made—I would say—not infrequent situation is me listening to the podcast with little-to-no familiarity of the film that you are describing. But I am listening to this discussion as both a viewer of this film and a listener, and this has gotta be one of the ones that sounds the most made-up. [All laugh.] This has gotta be way up there on like—Stuart is saying these things as if like, “Well, and then, y’know, the alpha pumpkin has been transforming them and then Velma is in the mind palace with Shaggy and their consciousness form—” it is indescribably strange. [Laughs.]
stuart
									
Yeah. Well a lot of times I had to pause the movie to be like, “Okay. I gotta write some sentences [through laughter] down while it’s still happened.” [Multiple people laugh.]
dan
									
Well also, hearing it described back to me, like, really has sort of undone like a lodestone of like… Scooby Doo in general? Where I’m just like, “Okay, wait. Hold on. Why does the villain need to convince everyone else that something supernatural is happening?” [Laughs.] [Multiple people laugh.]
crosstalk
									
Dan: But, y’know. Stuart: Yeah. Obviously doesn’t. Elliott: Yeah. It’s never been adequately answered—
elliott
									
—in 50 years of Scooby Doo productions. I think what I… it’s basically just a means to get these incredibly charismatic characters—Shaggy, a cowardly hippie; Scooby Doo, a cowardly dog; Velma, a smart nerd; Daphne, a blank—a sociopath whose mask hides nothing behind it— [Dan laughs.] —and Fred, who’s kind of, y’know, a lumbering lunkhead with a sweater on.
crosstalk
									
Stuart: Trap master. Dan: Yeah. Elliott: It’s just to get those guys in action!
elliott
									
And traps. It’s just to get them in action and hope that they eventually run into the Three Stooges, or perhaps Sonny and Cher, or Tim Conway. Or someone else that you’d see on TV in the 1970s! Y’know? That’s—
stuart
									
It’s wild, ‘cause you see—in the character select screen, you would see Fred and you’d be like, “He’s a bruiser. He’s just gonna go in there. He’s gonna hit big but he’s gonna be slow.” But you wouldn’t expect him to be a trap character. But whatever, man. y’know. It’s cool. Sometimes games change it up.
dan
									
It is funny seeing like those old celebrity Scooby Doos? ‘Cause you have the same sensation when you’re watching an old Muppet Show? Where you’re like, “I guess this person was popular at one point.” [Elliott laughs.] [Through laughter] I don’t know who they are. Y’know, sometimes you get a Mark Hamill and then sometimes you get someone and you’re like, “Okay, they were… a dancer, I guess? I don’t know.”
justin
									
Along with Elvira, they—late in the—almost at the end—reference a celebrity crossover that literally no child will enjoy or appreciate. There’s a Phyllis Diller nod that is absolutely bizarre. No reason to think that a child would enjoy that.
elliott
									
So what would be the modern-day equivalent? If Scooby Doo was doing with celebrities now what they did then, would it be like… I dunno. Are they teaming up with Judge Judy or are they teaming up with Jim Parsons? Like, who would it be?
justin
									
I actually have an answer for this, because they—the current series—or at least the most recent series—is called Scooby-Doo and Guess Who? Which is—each episode is with a new celebrity. So just recently we have—the premiere episode was NBA basketball legend Chris Paul. And then there’s the ghost of Abraham Lincoln is in the next one.
crosstalk
									
Justin: There’s a crossover— [Laughs.] Is it—I mean— Elliott: That doesn’t seem like a real guest star. I have to say. [Laughs.]
justin
									
That’s a pretty big get, Elliott. I don’t know. I would be excited.
elliott
									
I mean, if it says “Ghost of Abraham Lincoln: Himself” in the credits, then yes. That’s a huge get. But.
justin
									
This is the—yeah. So we’ve got—the next one is Wanda Sykes and then it’s Sherlock Holmes. [Multiple people laugh.] And then it’s Ricky Gervais— [Elliott laughs.]
crosstalk
									
Justin: And then it’s Wonder Woman and then it’s Penn & Teller— Stuart: Ricky Gervais is gonna tell everybody to be atheists. [Laughs.]
dan
									
Yeah. Is it Ricky Gervais as himself?
elliott
									
It’s gotta be.
justin
									
Guys? I’m gonna tell you—I’m just trying to tell you it’s Ricky Gervais and then Wonder Woman and then Penn & Teller and then Urkel from Family Matters—
elliott
									
Wait. But it’s Urkel, or it’s Jaleel White?
justin
									
No! It’s Urkel!
crosstalk
									
Elliott: It’s the character Urkel. Okay. Justin: Then Jim Gaffigan.
justin
									
And Weird Al— [Multiple people laugh.] And Sia?
elliott
									
I love the idea—this is good, ‘cause it’s like Scooby Doo and the Mystery Gang. They’re like the Man-Thing in the Marvel comics who’s the guardian of the nexus of all realities. So who knows what could pop out—a barbarian. Howard the Duck. The Scooby Doo gang can meet anybody in any reality at any point in time. Y’know. That’s pretty—one week they’re hanging out with Jordan Peterson and the next week it’s them and Justin Bieber and the next week it’s them and Rick Moranis. I guess these are just all Canadian people. Hold on.
crosstalk
									
Elliott: Maybe— Stuart: Yeah. There’s no way into your mind palace. Justin: [Inaudible.]
justin
									
I’m losing it over here, guys, ‘cause then we’ve got what’s described as “comedy rocker Kenan Thompson.” Okay. [Multiple people laugh.]
elliott
									
Comedy rocker?
dan
									
Comedy rocker?
justin
									
Batman. Whoopi Goldberg. [Multiple people laugh.] Paul— [Laughs; totally loses it through the next few dialogue boxes.] Paul— [inaudible through laughter.] [Through laughter] And then Mark Hamill. [Multiple people laugh.] [Through laughter] And then the Flash. And then George Takei. And then Steve Buscemi.
elliott
									
Wait. Steve Buscemi’s in it?
justin
									
[Through laughter] Then we check in with Jeff Dunham. [All laugh.] And then we’re just gonna take a real quick spin and we’re gonna see Maddie Ziegler from Dance Moms, and then over the horizon it’s Jeff Farnsworth. [Laughs.] [All laugh.] Followed by Malcolm McDowell.
dan
									
What? Malcolm— [Laughs.]
elliott
									
So it sounds like they literally put the names of every human being in the world in a hat— [Justin laughs.]
crosstalk
									
Elliott: And they just pick ‘em out. Stuart: Including some that are fictional characters. [Laughs.]
elliott
									
Including some fictional characters.
justin
									
Guys? “While investigating a werewolf attack on Broadway, the gang runs into actor and voice talent Christian Slater, who joins him on his heartbreaking song-filled Musical Mystery, centered around the prom night that changed his life forever.” And then it’s finally Neil deGrasse Tyson.
dan
									
“Heartbreaking.”
justin
									
Holy—season two just kicked off so make sure to get in there. You’re gonna meet Kacey Musgraves and Morgan Freeman. Already.
stuart
									
Oh wow. The duo I never expected, but welcome.
elliott
									
“This week, we’re teaming up with Billie Eilish and next week it’s Odysseus! And the week after that it’s Arsenio Hall and then the week after that it’s Adam, of Adam & Eve fame!”
justin
									
Actually, it’s Kristen Schaal and Joey Chestnut and—
elliott
									
Joey Chestnut? [Justin laughs.]
stuart
									
Guys, wow. Man alive. [Multiple people laugh.] [Through laughter] That’s so [inaudible].
justin
									
If it goes—if it continues in this direction it’s gonna be, eventually, Matthew Lillard. [All laugh.] [Through laughter] And it’s gonna be ouroboros. The Shag will eat his own tail.
dan
									
That’s when the earth explodes. [Laughs.]
justin
									
Yeah.
stuart
									
Okay. So the sheriff reveals his crazy plan. It turns out the sheriff’s the villain. No big surprise. So the sheriff’s the villain; he has a crazy plan to spend millions of dollars to slowly become a local sheriff and be mean to some teenagers and then steal some crystals. And then make more millions.
elliott
									
Well because he was a rich guy who the kids unmasked and got in trouble. Yeah.
stuart
									
Yeah. So that justifies his spending millions of dollars—
crosstalk
									
Stuart: —and actions. Yeah. Elliott: I’m just saying it’s a revenge plot.
elliott
									
I’m not—the sheriff didn’t win the lottery and decide that he was gonna spend that millions to get even with some kids.
stuart
									
That’s what people were concerned about, is that the sheriff had illegally stolen the money or something. So they—
dan
									
But—can I say—like, he’s already failed once at this “I’m gonna have a supernatural scam thing.” If he’s gonna have revenge on the kids, why not just show up and shoot ‘em?
elliott
									
Hey, look. Scorpion keeps getting caught by Spider-man, but every time he breaks out of jail he puts that damn tail back on and just tries to hit Spider-man with it. Like, people get stuck in cycles, y’know?
dan
									
Yeah.
stuart
									
Yeah, ‘Cause after a while you’re like, “I’ve spent so much time learning how to use this fucking scorpion tail. I don’t wanna try and do something different.”
elliott
									
He’s like, “I’m too old to learn a new employment skill.”
crosstalk
									
Dan: Hey, man— Elliott: “This is just what I do.” Justin: He also didn’t want to change his—
justin
									
He didn’t wanna change his Twitter handle. It’s a whole thing.
dan
									
Why do you think I’m still a comedy writer?
elliott
									
It was so hard for me to get @Scorpion1. [Laughs.]
stuart
									
So they track the sheriff’s phone. They try to catch him, but uh-oh! The Scarecrow’s already got him! His car’s been abandoned. They wander—
elliott
									
And it’s just implied that the Scarecrow has taken him to torture or kill him. Like, he’s just—gone in the Scarecrow’s clutches.
stuart
									
Yeah. So they then wander down the street with Elvira. They happen upon a Halloween party. They argue with the host, who keeps inviting them and they keep trying to come up with excuses for why they shouldn’t go to the party—
elliott
									
At this point in the movie I was like, “Why is the movie still happening? Why aren’t they just joining this party? Why are they so resistant to being at this party?”
stuart
									
Shaggy and Scooby see a snack station so they start to drool so much that their drool becomes a river and then they stand-up surf all the way to the snack station. [Multiple people laugh.] Elvira reveals that she realizes Daphne’s whole reason for trying to be mentored by Elvira is so that she could take Elvira’s clothes and be Elvira for Halloween, so Elvira gives Daphne her wig, which is actually a monkey— [Elliott laughs.] —and then wanders away.
dan
									
[Through laughter] Well also, let’s be clear. At first they’re like, “Hey, was your plan to take Elvira’s clothes for a costume?” And then it becomes implied that it’s more like a Single White Female situation where—
justin
									
She wants to steal Elvira’s life and—
elliott
									
That’s when they mention Phyllis Diller. They say, “We went on three mysteries with Phyllis Diller before we realized it was Daphne.” [All laugh.] So Phyllis Diller’s body is just in a freezer somewhere. While Daphne was running around with her clothes. But. But yeah. I think—the moment when Elvira takes off her wig and it’s revealed to be a big ape that sits on her head [through laughter] was—was, I think, when the movie kind of entered a new realm for me. [Dan laughs.]
dan
									
Yeah. Bald Elvira wanders off and sort of gives an outro to the movie.
stuart
									
Yeah. A little Cryptkeeper outro. Her head turns around and she’s got a scary face?
elliott
									
Famously red-haired Cassandra Peterson, suddenly walking away bald for some reason. But.
dan
									
Yeah. Because they have to have the reveal where she turns—like, her neck twists all the way around like an owl and she has a weird alien face on the back of her bald head. [Laughs.]
justin
									
Again, not for kids. Not a good fit for children at all.
crosstalk
									
Elliott: The movie—in the last five minutes— Stuart: No. Yeah. It’s a little Large Marge ending.
elliott
									
In the last five minutes it kinda gives a glimpse of what this movie could’ve been if it was even crazier. Like— [Justin laughs.] The movie is like, it’s riding this thing where it’s like, “Yeah, I guess it’s Scooby Doo, but it’s a little sillier.” And then the end is just like, “Hey, you know what? This is what you could’ve been watching. Just bonkers.”
stuart
									
Yeah. A glimpse of the madness is Happy Halloween, Scooby Doo. So what’s the next part of the podcast, Dan?
dan
									
Well, we gotta make our Final Judgments on this movie, whether it’s a good-bad movie, a bad-bad movie, or a movie we kinda liked. I will say—um… so if you were a bigger Scooby Doo fan, like, Audrey was eating this up. So I have to assume that if you like Scooby Doo this is, like, the Citizen Kane of Scooby Doo films. Uh… I liked a lot of the silliness? I got to admit, like, at a certain point the movie started dragging for me? Which is crazy, [through laughter] because it is only 70 minutes long— [Elliott laughs.] —and so much crazy stuff is happening at all times. But there came a point where I’m like, “Alright. I know that the ending to this is not gonna make any sense. Let’s just get to the solution of the mystery.” But I guess marginally—look. If this is your thing… it was fun. I kinda liked it. But… it’s borderline. What do you guys have to say?
elliott
									
I would say, also, that I kinda liked it. I’d give it a more full-throated recommendation than Dan did. I would say it does drag a little in the four hours or so that they spend driving on the road? [Multiple people laugh.] But that’s just based on reality. They said “Crystal Cove is this far away from the nearest town. We cannot have them drive less ‘cause people are gonna be like, ‘Wait a minute. There are no towns that close to Crystal Cove. They’ve gotta be on the road longer than that.’” And I totally understand not wanting to end up in the Goof section of IMDB, but otherwise—as someone who is not a fan of Scooby Doo, it was fun to see a Scooby Doo thing where I was like, “Oh, there’s a lot of funny jokes in this. And…” But like Justin was saying, it’s not all meta-jokes. Y’know. There’s some, but it’s not all, like, them just undercutting what a Scooby Doo should be. And until we get that gritty, realistic reboot of Scooby Doo—a la Detective Pikachu—then this is the best we’re gonna get. So I say I kinda liked it.
stuart
									
Yeah. It’s basically that Venture Bros. episodes. Um, I… uh, I think I’ll join you guys. I’ll say it’s a movie I kinda liked. I will say that trying to write a plot summary for this movie was— [Dan laughs.] —like Pecos Bill trying to lasso a fucking whirlwind. [All laugh.] But stuff certainly happened!
dan
									
Yeah. And Justin—I think you might be the most positive.
justin
									
Well, it’s—y’know, you watch enough animated films as a parent that so many of them are… and Elliott can attest to this. So many of them, the work has not been put in to… not even making it something adults can enjoy. But just like a functional piece of entertainment. That when you stumble on something like that, it’s almost kind of a nice surprise. Like, we turned it on around Halloween ‘cause—I dunno. Scooby Doo. It’s a new Halloween movie and whatever. They watched Scoob! And enjoyed it which is—doesn’t speak well of their character. [Multiple people laugh.] But I—they have two parents. I’m only half of their parents.
crosstalk
									
Justin: So we turned it on and— Elliott: The whole time they were watch—
elliott
									
The whole time they were clapping and laughing at Scoob! You would turn to your wife and say, “This is your—these are your genes.”
justin
									
“This is your genes.”
elliott
									
“This is not my genetics.”
justin
									
It’s like… it’s just kind of a relief when you find something that’s like, “Oh, somebody actually tried on this. Like, somebody actually put the work in and made some good jokes in here.” I can watch this thirty times and not be driven mad. So yeah. On that basis, I… I think it’s a quality piece of entertainment. You’re not gonna go in getting your guts busted constantly as an adult, but— [Elliott laughs.] —if you go in a little, in the right frame of mind, there’s a lot of fun stuff going on. It is surprisingly—there’s a lot of adult comedies that do not deliver as many laughs as this film does. I will say that. It—we are in a stage in Hollywood where actually funny comedies are pretty hard to come by, so this will have to do.
elliott
									
[Laughs.] “This will have to do,” screams the quote on the box. [Laughs.]
justin
									
“This will have to Scooby Doo.” [Elliott laughs, applauds.]
elliott
									
“In a world bereft of truly funny adult comedies, this will have to Scooby Doo.” [Multiple people laugh.]
justin
									
[Through laughter] That’s the name of the next film. This Will Have to Scooby Doo. [Multiple people laugh.]
music
									
Light, up-tempo, electric guitar with synth instruments.
promo
									
Rachel McElroy: Congratulations! You’ve won a ticket to attend an exclusive opportunity in a relaxing environment with two lovers. [Laughs.] Griffin McElroy: Wow! Well this sounds like a sort of… proposition of sorts, but really it’s an ad for our podcast, Wonderful! It’s a show we do here on Maximum Fun where we talk about things that we like and things that we’re into. Rachel: I’m Rachel McElroy and you just heard Griffin McElroy and we are excited for you to join us as we talk about movies and music and books! Griffin: Things like sneezing. Or… the idea of rain. [Both laugh.] Rachel: Can you get news or information you can use? [Simultaneously] Rachel: I don’t think so! Griffin: Absolutely you cannot! Griffin: Because we’re here to talk to you about pumpernickel bread. Rachel: You can find new episodes on Wednesdays. Gruff announcer voice: So catch the waaaave!
promo
									
Music: Laid-back, rhythmic music plays in background. David Letterman: I—I can remember—as—as a child—thinking it was odd that here was this can full of meat. Jesse Thorn: I’m Jesse Thorn. This week on my show Bullseye, David Letterman—on shame, regret, and canned hams. David: Is this the best delivery version of—of pork? Jesse: That’s this week on Bullseye for MaximumFun.org and NPR.
dan
									
The Flop House is sponsored in part by Squarespace. With Squarespace, you can turn your cool idea into a new website. You can blog or publish content; you can sell products and services of all kinds and much, much more. And Squarespace helps you do this by giving you beautiful, customizable templates created by world-class designers. Everything optimized for mobile right out of the box. A new way to buy domains and choose from over 200 extensions. Free and secure hosting and more. Head to Squarespace.com/flop for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, use the offer code “Flop” to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.
elliott
									
Now Dan, I had an idea for a website. And I was hoping that—inspired by today’s movie—and I was wondering if Squarespace, you think, could help me.
dan
									
Uh, probably. But let’s hear it.
elliott
									
Okay. So this is a business website. It is called www.Nonster.com. That’s N-O-N—“N” as in “No,” as in “Non.” Not a monster. How many times has this happened to you? You hear a story about a ghoul, ghost, monster, gremlin, or other fantastical being somewhere in our great nation. You get in your van. You get your friends together. You get your talking dog with you. You head to that location to see this cool monster for yourself, only for it to turn out to be some dude who has plans for a public park and wants to buy it and turn it into an oil refinery so he’s scaring people away by pretending to be, like, y’know. The Pittsburgh Palooka or something like that. What a disappointment! I wish I’d saved the time, energy—
crosstalk
									
Stuart: Isn’t the Pittsburgh Palooka— Elliott: —and the drive—
stuart
									
—the nickname of the Lieutenant Governor of Pennsylvania? [Laughs.]
elliott
									
[Laughs.] It’s a good point and very topical. So instead, let’s call him the Boise Boogeyman. So you go all the way to Boise and not a boogeyman, just some dude. I wish that there’d been a website out there—a kind of Snopes legend-denying website that told me when it was a monster or what I’m calling a “Nonster,” or not-monster. Now I know there’s some difficulty here because “Monster” and “Nonster” sound very similar. Be sure that you are putting in “Nonster” with an “N” as in “Norville,” not a “Monster” with an “M” as in “More-ville,” which is what you would say if you wanted more of a ville. This isn’t enough town, give me more of it. Whereas Norville is what you’d be saying if you were talking about Norval Jones, the main character from The Miracle of Morgan’s Creek, starring Eddie Bracken and Betty Hutton. Now www.Nonster.com— [Dan laughs.] —it’s your place for both public, crowdsourced comments on what are real monsters and what are not, and what—basically what are “Ahh! Real monsters!” and what are “Nah. Real non-sters.” So we have people all over the place. It’s like Ways, but for monsters and nonsters. And they send in their reports, and you can just look it up. Tip-tap-tap. That’s you typing in the nonster’s name on the keyboard. And oop! It turns out that the San Antonio Psycho—I thought it was some kind of toxic waste-created humanoid chud. Nope. It turns out it’s just some guy who is trying to sell his minor league baseball team to a different city and wants it to seem that the stadium is haunted or something.
stuart
									
Now, I don’t mean to split hairs here, but you just said “humanoid chud.” And now—aren’t chuds always humanoid? Isn’t that part of the description? That’s like saying “ATM machine.”
elliott
									
That’s a very good point and you know what? Forget the whole website. You just figured out—you just figured out that I don’t know what I’m talking about. So—
stuart
									
Yeah. That’s why we have these kind of rap sessions, right? Is so I can poke holes in—like, find out if there’s any mistakes. Or, y’know.
elliott
									
No, I appreciate it. I appreciate it. So when I say—
stuart
									
Troubleshoot.
elliott
									
Instead of humanoid chud, maybe I should’ve said some kind of… some kind of… leonid chud? A kind of lion-based cannibalistic humanoid underground dweller?
stuart
									
Woulda, coulda, shoulda. I don’t know if it would’ve worked, but it’s over now. Y’know. We’re past that. [Elliott laughs.]
elliott
									
It’s true. We can’t change the past and I’m just Monday morning quarterbacking at this point. So anyway, that’s www.Nonster.com, a website I am now officially cancelling because Stuart has pointed out that I’m the wrong person to run it. Dan, maybe you wanna take this on? But Squarespace, I think, is the company to help you.
dan
									
Well, that was certainly an effective ad for Squarespace. Stuart— [Elliott laughs.] —do you have a Jumbotron for us?
stuart
									
[In announcer voice] I do have a J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-Jumbotron! Garbage warlocks Alex and Ian dive headfirst into the raging dumpster fire that is seasonal anime. Join them as they uncover hidden gems, discuss how a snake girl would wear a onesie, and hand out awards to the best show at the end of every season. With almost two years’ worth of episodes, there’s plenty of goofs and random tangents to dive into. Look for The Protagonist Seat podcast on YouTube, iTunes, or wherever you get your podcasts.
elliott
									
Now whenever they say seasonal anime, do they mean anime that comes in seasons, like, TV seasons? Or do they mean like A Very Akira Christmas? That kind of stuff? [Dan laughs.]
stuart
									
That is a question that is not explained. I can’t answer it. But maybe—I mean, maybe there is, like, fall anime. Summer anime. [Elliott laughs.]
elliott
									
Maybe that’s it, yeah, yeah. [Dan laughs.] Like, Happy 4th of July, Project A-ko! Like, that kind of stuff? Yeah. Okay. All of my anime references, as you can tell, are thirty years old. [Laughs.]
stuart
									
Yep. Yep. Uh, yeah. Ranma ½ is now Ranma 43½, right? [Elliott laughs.]
dan
									
Uh, I guess. Anyway.
stuart
									
It’s been a long time. I don’t know.
elliott
									
Yeah, yeah. “Happy Dragonzballsgiving, everyone.” So I have another Jumbotron. This is a message for Nathan and this message is from Sarah. And Sarah writes to Nathan; she says— “Happy 40th! You’re one of my oldest friends and now you’re also OLD.” In capital letters. “I’m so glad we’ve remained friends all these years and I’m inspired by how much you’ve accomplished. You’re truly the Stuart Wellington to my Elliott Kalan. John is obviously Dan, which means Ellis must be… The Flop House housecat! It’s perfect. Love and hugs to you both, Sarah.”
crosstalk
									
Stuart: That’s lovely! Elliott: How sweet.
dan
									
That’s a sweet message and I wish I knew who all these people were so I could see who we, y’know, track toward. Who we match with.
stuart
									
Yeah. How well we map, yeah.
dan
									
Yeah. So guys? Y’know, Sharko and Hippo is still available. Stuart still owns some bars.
elliott
									
I mean, Sharko and Hippo—for people who are just checking in—is a book that I wrote. It’s not—otherwise, that sentence that Dan said—though true—would seem completely incomprehensible. But yes.
stuart
									
Well, they’d hear it and may be like, “What is that?” And then they’d google it and hopefully the first google result would be the book you wrote and not something, I dunno, weird? Or.
elliott
									
No, probably it would be Nonster.com telling you that Sharko and Hippo are not real monsters. They are, in fact, the stars of my new children’s book, Sharko and Hippo. But! Sharko and Hippo. It’s available in bookstores everywhere. Get it through your local independent bookstore! And, of course, Hinterlands bar—still barring along after all these years. I’m Casey Kasem!
stuart
									
And Minnie’s Bar, which is barring after slightly not as many years, but it’s still barring! I’m Casey Kasem. [Multiple people laugh.]
elliott
									
Dan, are you also Casey Kasem?
dan
									
I’m also Casey Kasem! And Elliott is Casey… Kasem? And back to the show! [Multiple people laugh.]
dan
									
Alright. Well, next we move on to letters. And the first letter is from Marlena, last name withheld. Who writes—
crosstalk
									
Elliott: Marlena Dietrich, one of the great legends of the screen. Dan: “I just listened to your—”
elliott
									
It’s an honor to get a letter from her.
dan
									
She writes, “I just listened to your recent episode with Mike Reiss [pronounces it “Rice”] and I thought I’d share the story of why that’s a big deal for me. So here’s the tale of how a brief encounter with Mike Reiss made me accidentally—and hopefully temporarily—ruin The Simpsons for myself.”
elliott
									
I think his name might be pronounced “Reese.”
dan
									
Yeah? I was confused, too. And I—
elliott
									
‘Cause it’s spelled “Reiss.” [Pronounces it “Rice”]
dan
									
Yeah. I looked up the pronunciation of that name, and… the internet said “Reiss,” but I don’t know if—
crosstalk
									
Dan: Let’s say Mike “Reese.” Elliott: Hm. I could be wrong.
elliott
									
Let’s call him Mike Simpsons.
dan
									
Yeah. Mike Simpsons. “This brings me to a few winters ago. My dad and I went to the Museum of Modern Art for a showing of a silent comedy—something we both love—when the couple next to us took their seats and started talking to each other, I tensed with recognition. ‘That’s a Simpsons writer,’ I whispered to my dad. I was certain it was Mike Simpsons, whose voice I had been listening to in commentaries for all those years. I surreptitiously googled to match the face to the name and yes, it was definitely him. There wasn’t time to do or say anything since the movies began shortly after. I did enjoy finding out what jokes Mike Simpsons laughed at, though.” [Elliott laughs.] “I’m a pretty reserved and somewhat socially anxious person, so I knew I would need my dad’s prompting to tell Mike that I was a huge fan after the screening. Unfortunately, my dad is even more reserved than I, and when I asked if I should say something he did not encourage it. So I didn’t say anything, a decision I regretted pretty much instantly after leaving the theater. This regret was compounded when my mom and friends I told assured me that he probably would’ve been flattered and not annoyed by the intrusion. The regret icing on the cake was realizing that I had actually been wearing my Bartman sweatshirt to the screening. Now, as I’ve said, I’m an anxious person and I have trouble compartmentalizing, so instead of just having a twinge of regret when I listen to the commentaries, I had soured the entire experience of The Simpsons for myself. I couldn’t casually watch an episode without thinking of what a mistake I’d made. As time has passed I’ve started to watch again, but never with the same fervor and joy as I used to have.” Well, there might be other reasons. “So—"
elliott
									
Wow!
dan
									
“It was a big step when I listen—"
elliott
									
Big dig on the show, Dan. [Multiple people laugh.] It’s hard for a show to maintain consistent quality over thirty years and four million episodes, but come on, Dan.
dan
									
[Laughs.] I watched ‘til very recently. “So it was a big step—” [Elliott laughs.] “—when I listened to your episode with Mike as a guest and didn’t feel any psychic pain. Maybe I’m back on my way to wholeheartedly loving my favorite show again. The next step is wearing all my various Simpsons shirts again.” [Laughs.] “Thank you, Peaches, for being part of the healing process. Marlena, last name withheld.” I just, y’know. Wanted to share that moment of feeling. [Laughs.] The Flop House is here for you in ways big and small.
elliott
									
Yeah. And you know what? If you ever run into him again? Introduce yourself. As longtime listeners may remember, I have long regretted that I never sent Ray Harryhausen a fan letter ‘cause I was always like, “Eh, I’ll get around to it.” And then of course he was an old man and he passed away. But the way to do it—just a tip for next time—is not to do it the way my grandma does, where there was more than one occasion where she and I would be at the theatre—me and my grandmother, who I love—and Wallace Shawn from Princess Bride would be in the audience. And she would ask me who he was and what his name was, mere seats from the man himself. [Multiple people laugh.] And I would try to surreptitiously say, “Oh, that’s Wallace Shawn.” “What? What’s his name? His father was the editor of The New Yorker. What’s his name?” And it was always excruciating and then after the fact I found it pretty funny. [Laughs.]
dan
									
And also—famously kind of a grumpy man.
crosstalk
									
Dan: So I’m sure he didn’t— Elliott: Oh, yeah. I’m sure he did not enjoy having someone—having an old woman loudly near him question who he is. [Laughs.]
justin
									
I have long tried to encourage people that like, if you see someone whose work you enjoy, I don’t care how famous they are. I think everyone always likes to hear, “I like the things you make!” That’s a little—especially if you’re having kind of a bummer day. I can’t imagine a situation where I wouldn’t want someone to be like, “Good! You’re good!” Now the—
dan
									
As long as you don’t bend their ear, I think I agree with you. Yeah.
justin
									
Yeah. The seedy underbelly of that advice is that one time I was at the LAX and I saw John C. McGinley and I thought, I’m gonna go over there and say hi to John C. McGinley. I love John C. McGinley.” We’re in line at the thing—y’know, in the TSA line? So we kept serpentining past each other and I had all these opportunities. “I’m gonna do it now. I’m gonna do it now.” And afterwards I was kicking myself. I was like, “Dammit! Shoulda said something to John C. McGinley.” And as I was boarding my plane I realized in my head—that was John C. Reilly. And if I had gone up to him— [Multiple people laugh.] [Through laughter] —if I had gone up to him, I would’ve said, “Mr. McGinley—” [Laughs.] “Mr. McGinley, I’m sure you get this all the time—” Which I doubt he does, ‘cause his name’s John C. Reilly.
crosstalk
									
Justin: I woulda been [inaudible] but I saved myself that time. Stuart: Yeah. You woulda jumped into some like— Dan: [Laughs.] Yeah.
stuart
									
Scrubs scenes and stuff and— [Elliott laughs.]
justin
									
Yeah. [Laughs.]
elliott
									
That’s why it’s always a good idea—as the letter-writer said—to google the person just to make sure you got everything right.
dan
									
I would say judge the vibe. See if they’re in a good mood. I did see Adam Scott at Tootsie, the Broadway show of Tootsie, and afterwards, like, I was very close to him and if I’d been one person closer I would have told him how much I loved Piranha 3D, [through laughter] which is not ironic. But he kinda looked like he was keen on getting out of there and not being—
justin
									
Impossible. He saw Tootsie. There’s no way that’s possible. He was probably still laughing.
stuart
									
You would’ve been the second-best part of his night. After seeing Tootsie.
elliott
									
Well I mean, it’s kind of famous among Broadway hounds that he was lobbying very hard for the lead role in Tootsie and did not get it. And he went to every show just to scowl through it and think about how much better he would’ve been in that role.
stuart
									
That was the guy from—that was the guy from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, right? Who—
crosstalk
									
Elliott: Who actually played it, yeah. I think so. Yeah, yeah. Stuart: Who was the lead? Yeah. Dan: Yeah. Yeah.
elliott
									
Yeah. Rachel Bloom.
crosstalk
									
Dan: [Laughs.] Okay. Uh, second— Elliott: That’s not a guy, and it’s not the person who was in Tootsie!
elliott
									
That’s the star of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend.
dan
									
Mm-hm. Second and final letter of the evening. Or morning. Whenever you listen. Amy, last name withheld, writes—
elliott
									
Amy Adams. Again, hugely impressive. Yeah.
dan
									
“I’m writing to ask if you could all name a pet after any character from a movie, what name would you choose? Thanks for the great podcast! Amy, last name withheld.” I gotta say, my last two cats have been named… after, um… old movie stars. Not necessarily their characters. In one case, named after the character that came to be identified with him. My first cat, Lulu, was named after Louise Brooks, who was often called “Lulu” because of her character in Pandora’s Box. And we called her that because early on, Lulu did not make any noise? And we thought—is this cat mute? And so a silent film star came to my mind. And Archie is named after Archie Leach, which is Cary Grant’s real name. But guys, do you have characters from movies you would name your cats after? Or dogs? Or pets or a baby?
stuart
									
Sure. I mean, the main reason why I think Charlene’s not going to let me ever buy a dog or adopt a dog is because I would 100% name him after the most noble of all the Jedi—that’s right—Ki-Doggie-Mundi, or Ki-Doggie-Doggie, or Dog-Adi-Mundi. I haven’t decided which one I wanna go.
stuart
									
Or Rodney Dogerfield.
dan
									
Dogney Dogerfield. That’s already taken and also not a character. That’s a— [Dan laughs.] —the actor. We’re talking about the character, Ki-Adi-Doggie.
stuart
									
It’s kind of the character he played eventually.
dan
									
That’s true, yeah.
crosstalk
									
Dan: Anybody else? Elliott: Yeah. I probably—
elliott
									
I probably—y’know, The Thin Man is one of my favorite movies and of course I’d name it after the titular thin man—Claude Wynant. So my dog, Claude Wynant—or maybe it’s a fish or a cat—that’s what I’d name him. Or her. Claude Wynant. Sorry, Clyde Wynant.
justin
									
Probably Teddy KGB from Rounders. [All laugh. Someone applauds.]
dan
									
Because the pet’s accent is outrageous. [Laughs.]
justin
									
[In terrible Eastern European accent] I’ll splash the dog food whenever I want! [Regular voice] Naw, just seems like it’d be fun to have a dog named Teddy KGB. [Laughs.] It would be good, now that I think about that. I came up with that in the moment, but I think it would be powerful.
stuart
									
Sometimes that’s the best ones.
elliott
									
So—I mean, Scooby Doo tells us—as we’ve postulated—that a dog is named—
justin
									
That’d be a good one, too. Scooby Doo.
elliott
									
That Scooby Doo is named after—dogs are named after the foods they like best. So I guess if I had a dog, he’d be named Pill Wrapped In Cheese. [All laugh.]
dan
									
Um, okay.
justin
									
Does that mean I’m gonna have to start calling my two-year-old Old Pringles? ‘Cause that’s— [Multiple people laugh.] —her whole thing. “Carpet Pringles! Get over here!” [Dan laughs.]
elliott
									
Earlier, before recording this, my family and I, we went out to play some baseball at the local rec center. And—just the family. And my younger son, the two-year-old, was holding a rice cake? And every time a tiny grain of rice cake would fall on the ground, he would scrabble for it. That was the one he wanted to eat the most. And I’d have to pull it from his hand and throw it away and he literally has a whole rice cake in his hand! But it’s like each grain in the dirt is what he wants to eat. [Multiple people laugh.] What a country, amirite? [Multiple people laugh.]
stuart
									
[Through laughter] Yup.
dan
									
In this economy? So now the last segment comes. That is Recommendations. Movies that maybe, y’know. Would be—an adult human would fully enjoy [through laughter] rather than—
stuart
									
Or watch it as a movie marathon along with Happy Halloween, Scooby Doo!.
dan
									
Uh, sure. I wanna recommend… [Laughs.] I’m glad Justin is here for this. I’m maybe recommending this in part because Justin’s here. Yesterday a friend of ours had a Tom Arnold marathon on Twitch of three movies released—all, I believe, in 1996. He had Carpool, The Stupids, and Big Bully. That was Tom Arnold’s big year, I guess. They were really trying to make him happen. And I only saw in full The Stupids. Which is the one I cared about, because—as a big My Brother, My Brother and Me listener, [through laughter] I’ve heard it referenced many times. And I’ve gotta say— [through laughter] it was very funny. I laughed a lot.
justin
									
It’s really good. The Stupids holds up. It is fantastic. What a film. [Dan laughs.]
dan
									
I think it was not appreciated because—as the title would suggest—it is very stupid. But it is stupid in a smart way. Like they have really put a lot of work into creating a house of cards that pays off by the end of just, like… idiotic misapprehensive—misapprehensions. And I don’t think everyone in it is doing a great job? Like I kind of feel like Mrs. Stupid is playing stupid more than, like, Tom Arnold, I believe with my full heart and soul that he is this [through laughter] stupid character. But Jesus. It’s a hard one to recommend to people because they might watch it and be like, “What is wrong with you?” But I was watching it and being like, I can’t imagine anyone not laughing at this.
stuart
									
There’s an actor named Bug Hall in it? Plays Buster Stupid. Okay.
justin
									
Bug Hall—it’s hilarious. You and I had a—we watched the entire Bug Hall omnibus, because I watched Little Rascals with my kids last week. [Dan laughs.] So those are all the Bug Hall movies. He played Alfalfa in that one. Now that is all the… Bug Hall films.
elliott
									
Oh, he’s in a bunch of other movies, it turns out. As more of a grown-up. I didn’t realize this. Bug Hall. Like Atlas Shrugged: Part II apparently he’s in. [Justin laughs.]
stuart
									
Oh, Max Landis is in it as a graffiti artist? Oh damn! You musta loved that!
dan
									
It’s a John Landis-directed film. [Multiple people laugh.]
stuart
									
John Landis—he doesn’t murder anyone in this one, right?
crosstalk
									
Dan: No. He does not murder— Elliott: Yeah. How many people died—
elliott
									
How many people died during the making of The Stupids, Dan? [Multiple people laugh.]
dan
									
If anyone died he covered it up effectively.
elliott
									
Wait, and there’s a cameo in it—according to Wikipedia—from director Costa Gavras, so that’s pretty amazing. Director of Z and—
dan
									
David Cronenberg is in it as well. There are a lot of directors’ cameos.
justin
									
You know, Dan—
elliott
									
Mick Garris.
justin
									
I’m not recommending The Little Rascals, but I do want to say that Donald Trump is in The Little Rascals as the father of the rich kid?
elliott
									
Oh, right.
justin
									
And there’s an outtake where he reaches over and steals this lady’s popcorn. And it’s clearly, like, improvised. He reaches over and steals this lady’s popcorn and eats some of it. And it’s like, “Oh, that’s a funny outtake. Okay, fine. Put that in.” There’s a different outtake and then they cut back to this one, and they showed Donald Trump spitting the chewed-up popcorn onto the person sitting in front of them, and saying “This popcorn really is terrible!” That is not improvised. That is just what he was doing with his human life and they caught it on film. And they put it in the outtakes. He was really a terrible person.
crosstalk
									
Stuart: Little slice of history. Elliott: Yeah. Always. It’s—
elliott
									
It’s not like power drove him mad. He was always a bad person.
justin
									
No. He sucks, always.
elliott
									
Dan, the Wikipedia list of celebrity cameos for The Stupids is making me wanna see it ‘cause it’s almost like a Scooby Doo series ‘cause it’s like, you got Jenny McCarthy. Okay, it was made in the ‘90s. Then you got Atom Egoyan, Norman Jewison, Robert Wise, Gillo Pontecorvo—this is—yeah. Max Landis was really calling in all of his director buddies to be in The Stupids! [Laughs.]
dan
									
It has a lot of very, very strange jokes in it that you would not expect. But uh.
stuart
									
That sounds great! It’s funny you mentioned David Cronenberg. I’m going to recommend a movie called Possessor, or Possessor: Uncut, which is directed by the son of David Cronenberg, Brandon Cronenberg. It is a nice little gross thriller. It’s kind of like if you took a LaserDisc of a Christopher Nolan movie and kind of pressed your thumb on it to slow the whole thing down? It’s high concept about an assassin who—using technology—transfers her consciousness into somebody else’s brain and then uses them to kill people. And it’s super slow and gross. And I liked it a lot. So Possessor.
dan
									
Yeah. Stuart, I want to say—that’s what I would have recommended. I just watched it. It’s what I would have recommended if I decided—if I hadn’t decided to throw caution to the wind [through laughter] and recommend The Stupids.
stuart
									
[Laughs.] Yeah.
elliott
									
Should I go next?
justin
									
Sure. Sure.
elliott
									
I’m gonna recommend a film drama from the early ‘70s. I’m gonna recommend a movie called Cinderella Liberty, starring James Caan and Marsha Mason, with Eli Wallach in a supporting role. And this is a movie that I had been wanting to see for a number of years because I could not understand the title: Cinderella Liberty. And it turns out it’s because that’s the name—
stuart
									
It’s just two different words.
elliott
									
It’s just two different words thrown together. No, it’s what they call it when you are on shore leave in the Navy but you have to be back at midnight. So you don’t have a full night; you just have to be back at midnight. James Caan is a sailor who has shore leave in Seattle and falls in love with a—essentially a prostitute who has a teenaged son and finds that his records have been lost by the Navy. This is the ‘70s. It’s literally a paper file that they can’t find. And so he’s stuck there and can’t be put on another ship. And he forms a relationship with her and it is a real, like… y’know. Sometimes funny, sometimes serious character study of these characters. And I liked it a lot and it was fun seeing James Caan playing a character who is not like a blustery, y’know, tough guy? Y’know? And so I liked it a lot. It’s directed by Mark Rydell, who also directed one of Dan’s favorites—For the Boys. Starring Bette Midler. So. [Dan laughs.] [Through laughter] So that’s Cinderella Liberty. Justin, what would you like to recommend?
justin
									
Uh, y’know, there’s so many—I only get to do this show once and I’ve seen so many movies that I’d like to recommend. [Elliott laughs.] But you know what? I’m gonna go with—
dan
									
I mean… you could come back. [Laughs.]
crosstalk
									
Dan: You’re not banned after this. Stuart: I don’t know. At the start of the show you were pretty sincere—
stuart
									
—about not having him back on. [Laughs.]
dan
									
Yeah. [Elliott laughs.]
justin
									
Yeah. You’re—I think that decision’s been made. No, I want to recommend Velocipastor. Have you guys seen Velocipastor?
elliott
									
I’ve only seen clips from it and I’ve yet to see the whole movie and it seems… yeah. Bonkers.
justin
									
It—it’s bonkers. It’s a really interesting—‘cause it starts out seeming like it’s gonna be sort of an intentionally bad camp thing. And there is some of that. And then there’s some jokes that just work earnestly. And then the strangest thing about this film is that every once in a while, it will… just pick up competence. [Dan laughs.] And put it over its shoulder and just be a competent movie for like fifteen minutes. And then just drop it again. [Multiple people laugh.] And it’s almost like the director is teasing you? Like, “Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no. I know how to—I could do a good—” there’s like a love scene in this movie that is so wildly effective and like romantic and sweet and erotic? And it’s like, “What the hell? Wait—if you could—you know how to do it! Why are you not doing it?” [Dan laughs.] He’s like, “I don’t wanna. I don’t wanna. It’s a movie about a pastor that turns into a velociraptor and eats criminals. So that’s the movie I’m making. I could make a good movie, but I’m gonna make this movie.” And it is a really, really enjoyable—it’s like—again, it’s like 70 minutes long. It’s about one Happy Halloween, Scooby Doo! Worth of time to watch. [Elliott laughs.] But I got a big kick out of it. I’ve seen it a few times now. I really dig it.
elliott
									
I would love for that to be the new measurement of time that becomes the official one? That scientists doing, like, Cosmos-type TV shows will say, “Billions of _Happy Halloween, Scooby Doo!_s ago, our universe was created.” Yeah. That’s set. Is Velocipastor the movie where a car explodes but they just wrote, “Car explosion effects” on the screen?
justin
									
[Through laughter] Yeah. Yeah.
stuart
									
That’s great.
justin
									
That’s the one! Good stuff. [Elliott laughs.] A microbudget, too. It was made for basically—I think—$80,000. It is—yeah. Very impressive. The director—Brendan Steer, I think his name is—has gotten a large cash investment for his next film, so I’m—which apparently has some connection to Velocipastor? It’s called Outback Dracula? [Elliott laughs.] Already—
stuart
									
So I should get on Velocipastor so I’m caught up for when Outback Dracula comes out.
justin
									
Yeah. Watch Velocipastor ‘cause he will probably show up in Outback Dracula, which—according to the press release—shifts the madness to 1880s Australia where a psychic lesbian schoolteacher teams up with the world’s greatest adventurer to find her missing girlfriend and defeat Dracula and his golden army of the undead. So.
crosstalk
									
Stuart: Sounds kinda like Quigley Down Under. Justin: Do not miss this. Yeah. Get on there. Elliott: I mean, that is the plot of Quickly Down Under.
elliott
									
They’re just ripping it off. [Laughs.]
dan
									
Um, so, uh… before we do our quick closing stuff, Justin, do you have anything to plug? I know that you have a book about how to podcast coming out and I know this because even—
justin
									
When will this episode be out?
dan
									
Uh—
stuart
									
Saturday.
elliott
									
Well after Halloween.
dan
									
Saturday, yeah. I—this—I—even though I already have a podcast myself, I preordered your book and I’m looking forward to reading it.
justin
									
Thank you. You’ll learn a few things. Saturday, November 21st, this is coming out. We’re doing a live show tonight! If you go to live.TheMcElroy.family. That’s M-C-E-L-R-O-Y. We’re doing a livestreamed show. You can get tickets for $10. Sawbones, my medical history podcast I do with my wife Sydnee, is gonna be there, and it’s gonna be… fun! And please go watch it. live.TheMcElroy.family. It’s tonight. Catch it.
stuart
									
Yeah. You guys are the best in the biz. Having seen you guys do live shows over the last couple years, you guys have gotten so tight and professional at it? That it makes me wonder what we’re even trying to do over here. [All laugh.]
dan
									
Yeah. I mean, I have tickets for the streaming show. I’m looking forward to it. Um—
justin
									
Thank you so much! Even if you don’t come, folks. I really can’t emphasize that enough. Just please buy tickets. And watch it or don’t. It’s up to you. [Dan laughs.]
dan
									
Well anyway. Before we go, I would like to say thank you to our network, Maximum Fun, that carries our show—The Flop House—and a couple of shows by Justin and his extended family. [Laughs.] A family full of podcasters! Just like The Partridge Family except for not singing.
elliott
									
But the Partridge family was full of podcasters. That’s true.
dan
									
And I’d like to thank Jordan Kauwling for editing this show and making it sound better than it ever did when I produced it. And I’d like to thank our guest, Justin, for being here.
justin
									
My pleasure.
dan
									
And so for The Flop House, I’ve been Dan McCoy.
stuart
									
I’ve been Stuart Wellington!
elliott
									
I’m Elliott Kalan! And continue to be.
dan
									
And that’s Justin McElroy. [Laughs.]
justin
									
I’m Justin McElroy. Do I say? This is—that’s a weird thing to have a guest do. I’m Justin McElroy. [Multiple people laugh.]
dan
									
Yeah. You can give us the postmortem afterwards. How we’re doing.
stuart
									
Oh, Charlene wants to say hi.
justin
									
That was weird. I’ll do a now-mortem. Hey, Charlene! [Laughs.] [Multiple people laugh.]
elliott
									
Okay. Now that’s—now that’s—
justin
									
Am I not supposed to do—now that was a weird thing for a guest to do. 100%.
crosstalk
									
Charlene: [Inaudible] Yay! Elliott: Yeah. That’s on Justin.
elliott
									
The first thing was on us, but the second thing was on Justin. [Multiple people laugh. Someone applauds.]
crosstalk
									
Justin: You listeners can see that, right? Dan: See y’all next time! Bye!
justin
									
I’ve gotta pee so bad. This is end of show. I’ll end it. And this has been Flop House. Keep reaching for the stars!
dan
									
Okay. Well we’ll have to go. [Laughs.]
stuart
									
Byeee!
music
									
Light, up-tempo, electric guitar with synth instruments.
dan
									
Uh, yeah. I’ll do the intro and then we’ll do the show.
stuart
									
Oh, okay.
justin
									
Good order. [Laughs.] I’d head to the outro right after that, though. [Elliott laughs.] [Through laughter] Oh, it’s like you’re peasants
dan
									
Oh. So many burns. Okay.
music
									
A cheerful ukulele chord.
speaker 1
									
MaximumFun.org.
speaker 2
									
Comedy and culture.
speaker 3
									
Artist owned—
speaker 4
									
—Audience supported.
About the show

The Flop House is a bimonthly audio podcast devoted to the worst in recent film. Your hosts (Elliott Kalan, Dan McCoy, and Stuart Wellington) watch a questionable film just before each episode, and then engage in an unscripted, slightly inebriated discussion, focusing on the movie’s shortcomings and occasional delights.
Follow @flophousepod on Twitter and @theflophousepodcast on Instagram. Email them at theflophousepodcast@gmail.com.