TRANSCRIPT Depresh Mode Ep. 152: Leah Rudick: Stand Up Comedian, TikTok Superstar, Anxiety Haver

She was nervous to be on our podcast even though we’re totally harmless

Podcast: Depresh Mode with John Moe

Episode number: 152



John Moe: Hi, before we get started for this week’s show, I just want to say thank you to everybody who contributed to Depresh Mode during the MaxFunDrive. It was a long two weeks, we put in a lot of work, and it’s been really great to hear from you and get that support. I mean, the money is wonderful; it really helps, and also the sentiment behind the contributions. What that represents has made a huge difference. So, thank you. There are some individuals I want to thank individually.

Brianne from Seattle, thank you for your contribution. Kevin from Long Beach, I really appreciate it. Rachel from St. Catharines, Ontario in Canada, thank you for contributing. Margaret, in Spanish Fork, Utah—I’ve always loved the name Spanish Fork, and thank you for helping us out. Lisa in Chelsea, Massachusetts. Thank you so much, Lisa. We really, really appreciate it. Kirsten in Washington, DC—it makes a difference. We love hearing from you and thanks. Rebecca from Broad Run, Virginia. Thank you so much for helping us out. Catherine in Mililani, Hawaii—where I want to be right now, because there’s snow in the springtime here in St. Paul. Catherine, thank you for helping us out with the show. And Kate in Peoria, Illinois. Kate, thank you so much for contributing to Depresh Mode.

Thank you to everybody who contributed to the show during the MaxFunDrive. The site is still open. That’s open year-round, so you can still contribute if you wish, and we appreciate that. We appreciate everybody’s support. Okay, that’s all. Now on with the show.


It’s Depresh Mode. I’m John Moe. I’m glad you’re here.

Transition: Spirited acoustic guitar.

John Moe: You know, anxiety is really something.


Leah Rudick (Spiraling): And my brother keeps telling me that I should get on meds to manage it. And I keep telling him I don’t need meds; I can handle it on my own. Now, please leave me alone so I can get back to my seven-hour panic attack about whether the waitress at the Cracker Barrel is mad at me.

(The audience laughs.)

Because when she asked if I wanted a to-go box for my eggs I said yes, even though I didn’t want it to go box for my eggs. Because who puts their eggs in a to go box? But I didn’t want to make her feel bad about the food that she didn’t make. So, I boxed up the eggs, and walked them out of the cracker barrel, and threw them right in the trash. And I’m sure she saw me. Or if she didn’t see me, I’m sure someone else saw me that’s gonna tell her, and now she’s gonna know that not only am I a liar, but I’m a person who wastes both food and takeout containers! And it’s my fault the turtles are dying, because I secretly love straws! And now I’ll never be able to go back to the West Virginia Cracker Barrel ever again!

(Laughter and applause.)


John Moe: That’s comedian Leah Rudick from her special Spiraling. It’s on Amazon Video. Leah’s been a standup comic for many years, but her career shifted into overdrive during the pandemic when she became a sensation on TikTok—over 700,000 followers, another 600,000 on Instagram. Leah lives with anxiety, and she’s embraced that in her work, which can be very relatable and extremely funny.

Transition: Spirited acoustic guitar.

John Moe: Leah Ruddick, welcome to Depresh Mode.

Leah Rudick: Thanks for having me.

John Moe: I saw your special, Spiraling, and enjoyed it very much. Explain why you called your special Spiraling.

Leah Rudick: (Laughs.) I called it Spiraling because that’s just what my brain does.

John Moe: Yeah?

Leah Rudick: Yeah, I mean, it was a nice, tight way to just describe how it works up there. And you know, a lot of the material is about anxiety and just the way that my brain processes life in that way. So, yeah, it was better than—(laughing) I had like a list of names. And one was like, Cloudy with a Chance of Butt Balls.

John Moe: Mm! Spiraling is a little more genteel, I suppose.

(Leah agrees with a laugh.)

Well, let’s go back then. When did anxiety start with you?

Leah Rudick: As long as I can remember.


I was always a pretty anxious kid. But I don’t think that I really recognized it as such. I think that I thought that it was just normal to be… to just experience anxiety all the time. I don’t think it was until quite recently—quite like late in my adult life that I was like, “Oh, this is, um… this is more than normal people feel.” And I think it was kind of just a combination of growing up, and I think actually getting into standup, oddly enough, allowed me to place it.

John Moe: Place it? What do you mean?

Leah Rudick: The kind of internal dive that you take when you start writing about yourself and your life, sort of putting words to feelings. Because I didn’t ever go to therapy. I go to couples therapy now with my husband, and that’s been really eye-opening. But I never had a way to sort of play back—like, a touchstone for understanding, oh, this is just like—you just have a lot of anxiety. And starting to write about my life in a much more personal way—prior to standup, I had done sketch comedy. Which is, you know, big characters, and it’s not so personal.

John Moe: It’s not autobiographical.

Lea Rudick: It’s not autobiographical, exactly. And so, yeah, I actually—like, I got into standup by—I took a class. I took this like—which is like you’re not supposed to say that if you’re—(chuckling) it’s looked down upon. But I took this amazing standup class, and it was very—it was like a great way to get into standup, and it was also like therapeutic in the sense that it was like just like a deep dive into one’s own neuroses and brain. And I think it allowed me to like label a lot of the things that are true to me. You know.

John Moe: When did that happen? How old were you?

Leah Rudick: That was like eight years ago. It was not so long ago.

John Moe: Yeah. What was anxiety like for you to that point? I mean, ‘cause you’re well into adulthood by that point.

Leah Rudick: Yeah. I was well into my 30s. (Chuckles.) And I knew that I had anxiety, but I think that I just thought everyone woke up in the middle of the night—(laughs).

John Moe: Screaming?

Leah Rudick: Screaming and just like couldn’t fall back asleep. And I think that just the… it’s just like a constant kind of background to the day to day, like that when you just have lived that way for so long, you don’t even really understand that it’s… that it’s a lot.

John Moe: Yeah, that it’s a disorder. I mean, it sounds like it’s a disorder in that it was interfering with things in your life.

Leah Rudick: (Laughs.) Yeah, yeah. And I think one—like, my brother, who’s also a standup comedian—he recently started taking anti-anxiety medication. And we’ve had a lot of conversations of like, “Oh, well this is just—like, we just both experience this.” And I think it was like, for both of us, a later in life like, “Oh. Oh, we’re—this is, uh—this is a thing.” (Laughs.)

John Moe: So, what are some things, I want to ask about what happened in the standup class and with the anxiety with standup in general, but what were some of the things that you were doing—or that maybe you’re still doing—that you didn’t really think were unusual that you later found out were unusual? You mentioned waking up in the middle of the night. What else?

Leah Rudick: Yeah. I think just like getting—like, obsessing over small interactions, you know, like just kind of attaching to one thing and not being able to like let it go. Like, you know, like a social interaction that I had where I feel like I said something that was weird or off and like not being able to—


And just kind of like going through that over and over again in my brain and not being able to—like, obsessing over it and not being able to let it go. And then like having a conversation with my husband about it and him being like, “This is not—like, it’s fine. Like, it’s—” You know.

John Moe: So, then what happened in this standup class that allowed you to make some progress?

Leah Rudick: (Laughs.) I don’t know if it’s progress. I think it’s just—well, it is progress in that it’s like labeling what it is, right?

John Moe: So, awareness then.

Leah Rudick: Awareness. Yeah. Like, putting labels on things. Like, you—I experience social anxiety. I am a people pleaser. Sort of ways to frame jokes that are—that put little boxes that are universal, I think. And something about that is, I think, soothing. And it makes it feel less—makes you feel less alone and makes it feel like, oh, this is just a thing that—it’s not—it’s okay. It’s just like a label, and lots of people feel this.

John Moe: Yeah. It would seem counterintuitive in many ways that, if you’re an anxious person, the idea of going up and telling jokes in front of drunks would be a good course of action. How has your chosen career worked out with your anxious tendencies?

Leah Rudick: I don’t know what else I would have done. I mean, for me, I started as an actor. And I started young. Like, I mean, not professionally. But I started doing plays and theatre when I was like eight or nine. And that came out of just being like a deeply, painfully shy kid who—like, you know, just like extreme social anxiety from the get-go. And for whatever reason, the first time I got on stage, something clicked in that was like, “Oh, this is a way—this is where I am able to stand in my power. This is where I am not afraid to use my voice.” And it was just like that immediate just like adrenaline rush and like addiction that I’ve just been chasing since then.

I know it seems kind of counterintuitive, but to me, it’s like the antidote. It stops the—it’s what stops the spirals and the—it makes me feel fully present. Which is something that I don’t feel—that I hardly ever feel in my day-to-day life, unless I’m creating, unless I’m in like a creative space.

John Moe: Yeah, I was a theatre kid too growing up, and I always found—and an anxious kid. And I always found a lot of reassurance in knowing exactly what I was going to say on stage and what everybody’s relationship to me was, that there was going to be no surprises and no devastating embarrassment that was just around the corner. Because they were going to say this line that appears on the Samuel French edition that they’re holding that looks just like the one that I’m holding.

Leah Rudick: Exactly. Exactly. Yeah, I think that’s so true. And I think that’s also like… I don’t really do improv, you know.

John Moe: Yeah, I was going to ask if you do it.

Leah Rudick: I mean, I do like crowd work, but I have to be in the zone. I’m so much more comfortable with a script. And that is like—standup is scripted, you know. It’s like sketch is scripted, theatre is scripted. I’ve never felt very verbally empowered in my day-to-day life. Even like being on podcasts gives me anxiety, because I don’t know how to like exactly express—


It’s always been a struggle for me. So, that… being able to have things written that I can speak, that I have control over feels really good to me.

Transition: Spirited acoustic guitar.

John Moe: Back with more of Leah Rudick in just a moment. As we go out, here’s more from Leah’s special, Spiraling.


Leah Rudick: Yeah, I don’t ever drink and drive, but what I do is way more dangerous. I cry and drive.


Just (whimpering that evolves into full-blown sobbing). Why won’t anyone hang out with meeee!?

Like, I will just rear end someone, so they have to give me their number. (Menacingly.) Now you gotta give me your info, Shelly. I’ll call you!

Call her the next day, “Hey Shelly! It’s Leah from the wreck. Oh no, I don’t have insurance, just wondered if you needed a lift somewhere! I’ll show you the real meaning of ride or die.”


Transition: Spirited acoustic guitar.

Transition: Gentle acoustic guitar.

John Moe: Back with comedian Leah Rudick. You had a podcast with your brother, is that right?

(She confirms.)

Is that still happening?

Leah Rudick: It’s not currently happening. Things just got a little crazy with like my tour schedule. And so, I think that we will bring it back. It’s on a temporary hiatus.

John Moe: Did that one make you nervous as well?

Leah Rudick: It did! (Laughs.) It did. I mean, it did in that… I mean, Andrew—my brother—is one of the people that I’m most comfortable with in my life. He’s one of my closest—one of the closest people to me. And I think that we know each other better than anyone and sort of understand each other’s brains. So, in that sense, it is like fun and easy to do that with him. But I think that I… I’m actually a very private person, and I like to have control over what I share. And I think that doing—like, just speaking as myself, like I feel like I’m constantly like second guessing and being like, ooh, I shouldn’t have said that.

So, yeah. It did give me some anxiety, along with being just like very fun. But I think that it was also like (stammering) I don’t know like how much—I don’t know how personal I feel—how comfortable I feel getting super personal. And I think that it was like figuring that out. But I think that we will go back to it. I think that we found a balance sort of in the last few episodes that we recorded.

John Moe: It’s funny hearing you talk about being painfully shy, having social anxiety, having nervousness to appear in lots of different situations. And then I watch your special. And, Leah, you get awful dirty sometimes!

(They laugh and she agrees.)

And I think that’s interesting. I mean, I guess the thread is that you’re in control, you know exactly what you’re going to say, and you figured out where your boundaries are. I mean, there’s probably some lessons in that to be learned for people who are just living their lives and not doing standup comedy.

Leah Rudick: Yeah. Yeah! (Laughs.) I know. It’s true. It is—and, you know, that stuff also—to me, I like that kind of comedy. It’s what makes me laugh. But when I step away from it, I’m like, “Oh, god. Like, my elders are listening to this. Like, ah!” (Stammering.) It definitely—like, I try not to think about it too much.


But it’s like—you know, it’s fun in the moment, and it is—you have to do the thing that delights you. (Laughs.)

John Moe: Have you ever been to individual therapy?

Leah Rudick: I haven’t.

John Moe: Never?

Leah Rudick: I never have. I have intended to for a while.

John Moe: Yeah. So, in terms of the anxiety, like have you been told you have an anxiety disorder, here are some options?

Leah Rudick: I haven’t been told that. (Laughs.) I’m just coasting on it, you know? I’m just—

John Moe: You’re not—you haven’t been caught yet.

Leah Rudick: I haven’t been caught. Yeah, nobody—I haven’t gotten in trouble yet for it. So.

No, I would like to go to therapy, and I think that it is—it’s also just like my anxiety stops me. It’s like—(laughs).

John Moe: From getting help for your anxiety?

Leah Rudick: Yeah, isn’t that wild?

John Moe: Wow. So, is that what’s—I mean, what is there to be afraid of with going to therapy? What’s preventing you?

Leah Rudick: Any number of things. I mean, finding the right person and feeling like—(sighs) feeling like—the thing that I like about couples therapy is that we get to do it together. And it’s like—you know, it’s not that I’m not being put on the spot, but there’s someone to do it with. (Chuckles.) And I think I’m like—if I go to therapy, like it’s just going to be—like, I think it’s a fear of not being good at it, which is so messed up.

(They chuckle.)

John Moe: It sounds like it’s performative in some way?

Leah Rudick: Maybe. Yeah. Yeah. Like—yeah, and also performative, and also just like being like a people pleaser, and being like afraid that—I don’t know! I do need to go, obviously. (Laughs.)

John Moe: Well, guess what? We have someone here with us right now!

(Leah “yay”s.)

Not really. Yaaay.

(They chuckle.)

Leah Rudick: It’s an intervention.

John Moe: Yeah, we’re gonna have an intake for you on the podcast.

You use the term people pleaser, and what does that mean to you? And how has that appeared in your life?

Leah Rudick: It means that I will do things to the detriment of myself, because I’m afraid that other people will get mad at me or will be upset. So, it’s something that causes me to I think sometimes interact with the world in a dishonest way. Because I want to be perceived as likable, and I want to be liked. And I don’t want to ever like ruffle any feathers or make anyone feel bad because of something I’ve said.

John Moe: So, then you’ll take the impact yourself instead of risking any kind of agitation or conflict?

Leah Rudick: Yeah, I’m so conflict averse. It literally like causes like a fight or flight response in me to have to have like a small—not even a confrontation, just like a speaking of the truth like, like saying the thing that I feel, if I feel like it’s gonna be—if I feel like others are in disagreement. Like, it’s fucked up. And it’s something that I like feel like I actively am working on.

John Moe: Give me an example of a situation you’ve been in where this tendency reared up and showed up and what it did.

Leah Rudick: Like, if I—something simple. Like, if I am asking—if I’m like hiring someone to like edit something for me, a video or an image or something, and—or I’m like—yeah, I’m hiring someone to do something, and I’m not getting what I want.


It is extremely hard for me to be like, “This is not hitting the mark. I need something different.” Something like as simple as that, where it’s just like I’ve hired this person. Like, they want to give me a product that I’m happy with. And yet I am so afraid to say like—I just want to be like, “Great, that’s great. Thank you so much. Bye.” That’s my instinct. And then it shows up in larger ways too of like just not like speaking up for myself when I want something or need something.

John Moe: So, what are you doing about it?

Leah Rudick: Uh, I’m working on it in small interactions, in small ways. You know, it’s like sending that email that is just like—that says—that is not like flowery or sugar coated, that is like without the exclamation points and the like, “Thank you so much. This is so wonderful.” Like, it’s—

John Moe: The built in apologies?

Leach Rudick: The built-in apologies, just like being as conscious as I can, and sitting in the discomfort and getting—’cause I don’t think it’s ever going to be comfortable for me. But I think that it’s one of those things that I just—the more I’m able to sit in the discomfort, the more comfortable I am in the discomfort. Put that on a pillow!

John Moe: (Laughs.) Needlepoint that onto a sampler.

So, your career has kind of taken off in the last few years. And it seems like a lot of that has to do with TikTok. And it’s wonderful to see the success that you’ve had. How has that affected kind of your detente with your own psyche, with this kind of working arrangement that it sounds like you’ve made to keep your anxiety and your people pleasing under control? Like, when suddenly there are millions more people watching you and people buying tickets to see you and making a night out of it to go see what you have to say, how has that affected your mental, I guess, equilibrium?

Leah Rudick: You know, in many ways, I think that it’s helped. It’s given me a layer of confidence, I think, that I… that has been really, really nice. You know, and it’s very much like an external validation thing, but I’ve been doing this for 18 years now. I’ve been like chasing this dream for almost two decades, and the majority of that time it has been a struggle and just full of like self-doubt and just constant second guessing of like what am I even doing, trying to like—like, get real, you know? So, the past couple of years has been really helpful, has been really like a boost for me. And I think it’s also forced me into situations where I have to speak up for myself, and I’m expected to speak up for myself. And that, I think, has been really good, you know?

John Moe: Yeah. I mean, I would think in your line of work too, the self-advocacy that’s necessary, the promotional aspect of it that’s necessary. You’ve really got to be able to throw some elbows.

Leah Rudick: Yeah, yeah. And that’s—again, that’s never going to be my forte. But there’s stuff that like, you know—it’s also like you are perceived—like, I feel myself being perceived differently and therefore treated differently, which is odd. You know, it’s like… treated like someone who is empowered, makes me—and that in turn makes me act with more power.

You know, it’s like the distinction—


You know, I started headlining clubs last year. And the difference in the way that you are treated as like a headliner versus someone who is just like climbing their way up and like an opener is so night and day. And like learning to step into that position of like—it’s like you go into the green room and… I feel like I had this thing where I was not… like, you know, you do a show, and it’s like you have the openers. And they’re doing their amount of time. And I think I’m so used to being like, “Whatever everyone else wants. Whatever everyone else wants, I’ll just do that.” And the questions were being directed to me. And I was like, “Uuuh, whatever’s good for everyone else.”

And I remember at one point, this comic friend of mine who was opening—I was like, “You can just do whatever.”

And he was like, “No, like Leah, you tell me. You tell me how much time you want.”

John Moe: In terms of how many minutes that they will perform?

Leah Rudick: How many minutes you want me to do and if there’s like specific things that you want like me to say. And I feel like that was like a real turning point of like, oh, I can say what—I’m allowed to say what I want here? (Chuckling.) Like, it was—I don’t know. It’s been really interesting. It’s been a real mindfuck.

Transition: Spirited acoustic guitar.

John Moe: More with Leah Rudick in just a moment.

Transition: Gentle acoustic guitar.

John Moe: We’re back with Leah Rudick. As I mentioned, Leah has become a big star on TikTok—like huge. And a lot of that has to do with a character that she plays, called the Wealthy Woman, who tells stories of going to non-wealthy places. Here’s a clip.


The Wealthy Woman: (With a snooty Transatlantic affect.) Did you know there is a store that is like an adult maze for people who don’t have trust funds? It’s called Ikea, and it’s the perfect place to go if you’re looking for a fun way to end your marriage. I was feeling bored with both my baroque inspired interior and my eighth husband, Bill. What can I say? He loves golf and has stinky fingers, two of my least favorite qualities in a man. So, I said to my assistant, “Arrange an outing to this Scandinavian hellscape for some fun Frat Boy Chic furniture.”

We get there; they give us these little golf pencils. I say, “Look, Bill, it’s just like the country club.”

He says, “I should have brought my wood.”

I said, “That’s what I was thinking last night.”

So, then you walk through all of these pretend rooms. It’s sort of like if Barbie’s dream house was Barbie’s poor house. And you get to watch all of these couples fight over how to measure a dresser. I watched one woman throw her engagement ring down a fake sink when her fiancé refused to back down over a gray futon; it was riveting! But then I found something called the Billy Bookcase. I said, “Bill, you’ve been replaced. I want a divorce.”

He broke down trying. I consoled him with a big plate of meatballs. But then when I got home and opened the bookcase, there was no Billy inside!


John Moe: People respond very strongly to your wealthy woman character. It’s your “Stairway to Heaven.” It’s your “Free Bird”.

Leah Rudick: It is.

John Moe: And how did that character develop?

Leah Rudick: It just came. It just kind of came to me one day. You know, it was during the pandemic, and I was just playing around with making different characters, because there was, you know, nothing else to do. And one day I was like, “Oh, it might be funny to do like a rich lady who just like—who doesn’t have a frame of reference for anything but what is in her own bubble.” Like, what if she steps outside of that bubble and tries something. Like, I think the first one I did was camping. And doesn’t even understand, doesn’t have a frame of reference for the simplest things. Like, doesn’t even understand what a tent is or what a kayak is, and is placing it back to things that she understands.

And then it was—it just kind of built from—it kind of took off from there. Where it was like, oh, this is like a fun game that people are responding to. But I think that the genesis of it was a couple things. One of which is that I have spent—prior to this past year, I have spent my career working side jobs that were very often for very wealthy people. So, I spent a lot of my formative years in working as like assistants and babysitters and caterers for these like wildly wealthy people. So, I feel like I had like an in to that world.


And then I think that also the kind of joie de vivre that she feels, I think I just took that from my mom. Like, my mom is just like the most positive person in the world who just delights in the simplest pleasures, who just will walk outside and be like, “Isn’t the sky just gorgeous today?” So, I think it was kind of a marriage of those two things, the kind of like energy and delight that I see in my mom that always makes me laugh and the kind of like obliviousness of this wealthy world that is like in its own little bubble.

John Moe: Is—this is an unfairly blunt question. Is anxiety funny?

Leah Rudick: (Laughs.) Is it funny? I think that what has—I mean, I think that I have used it to be funny. I don’t think—it’s not funny for me in the day to day, but I think that you can utilize it for comedy. And I think anything that is a human experience and is relatable can be funny.

John Moe: You mentioned going to couples’ therapy. How long have you been in couples therapy?

Leah Rudick: We’ve been going—we started going right after we got married. So, I guess it’s been about five years now. And we’ve been together for about 12. And it’s great.

John Moe: What’s great about it?

Leah Rudick: It just is like—it’s just really nice to be able to go and—well, first of all, we were able to work through some bigger stuff at the beginning that was just like necessary. Just about sort of like some communication barriers and stuff like that that is a constant process. But I think that at this point, it feels very like… like we’re not going in with like huge issues usually. It just is like a—it feels like a nice sort of reset and balance to just be able to go in and like talk with a third party in like a neutral way and, you know, be able to just have things said back to you through that third party. There’s something can take the—I don’t know, like the emotion out of it when you’re having it played back to you. Does that—I feel like I’m not expressing this well.

John Moe: Yeah, no, I got it. Do you address your anxiety in couples counseling?

(Leah confirms.)

How’s that going? Are you making any—is there movement on that?

Leah Rudick: (Laughs.) I think that—I mean, I think—to speak to what we were talking to earlier, I think that there’s movement in that there’s a little bit of like, “Leah, this is something that you need to address separately.” (Laughs.) Because there’s some sort of like comingling of like—where it’s like—you know, she’s like, “Things are getting a little bit too enmeshed here. There’s a little bit of like some codependency that is creeping in. And we need to like—you need to find ways to manage this.” And it’s totally correct.

John Moe: Yeah. I mean, are you looking—if you look down the road, do you see the anxiety as just something that’s always going to be with you? Or is it a problem that you’re aiming to solve?

Leah Rudick: I don’t know that it will ever be solved, but I think that it can be managed. And I think that there are a lot of tools to manage it. One of which is certainly therapy—that I will seek out. (Laughs.)

John Moe: At some point.

Leah Rudick: As soon as I get my anxiety under control.

(They laugh.)

But it’s something that like ebbs and flows, you know. And I think that when you—


When you’re able to really look at it as such, as like… as something that is a part of you but is not you entirely; it’s there, and you can kind of be like, “I see you.” You know, like, “Hi.” And not allow it to take over so much. I think that’s how you get it under control. I don’t think there’s a world where it’s just like, oh, I don’t—you know, it’s just gone. I don’t know. Maybe. That’d be great, if I could just get rid of it.

John Moe: Yeah. Yeah. Well, I think it might be a good idea to learn to manage it. (Chuckling.) You know, work on that side of it.

Leah Rudick: I think that might be the first step. (Laughs.)

John Moe: That might be the next step that you go to.

(Leah agrees.)

Well, Leah Ruddick, thank you so much for your time.

(Leah thanks him.)

And your insight, and best wishes to you.

Leah Rudick: Thank you so much. I appreciate it. You too.

Music: “Building Wings” by Rhett Miller, an up-tempo acoustic guitar song. The music continues quietly under the dialogue.

John Moe: Leah Rudick’s special, Spiraling, is on Amazon. Be sure to hit subscribe, give us five stars, write rave reviews. That helps get the show out into the world.

The 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline can be reached in the United States and Canada by calling or texting 988. It’s free. It’s available 24/7.

Our Instagram and Twitter are both @DepreshPod. Our newsletter is on Substack, search for Depresh Mode or John Moe on there. I’m on Twitter and Instagram, @JohnMoe. Join our Preshies group on Facebook, a lot of great discussion happening over there—people getting together, helping each other out. Hi, credits listeners. I complained when St. Paul didn’t get snow all winter, and then I complained when we finally got some last week. Now I’m complaining about myself complaining. Hm.

Depresh Mode is made possible by your contributions. Our production team includes Raghu Manavalan, Kevin Ferguson, and me. We get booking help from Mara Davis. Rhett Miller wrote and performed our theme song, “Building Wings”. Depresh Mode is a production of Maximum Fun and Poputchik. I’m John Moe. Bye now.

Music: “Building Wings” by Rhett Miller.

I’m always falling off of cliffs, now

Building wings on the way down

I am figuring things out

Building wings, building wings, building wings


No one knows the reason

Maybe there’s no reason

I just keep believing

No one knows the answer

Maybe there’s no answer

I just keep on dancing

Josh: Hi. This is Josh from Boise. Remember, you can’t be yourself wrongly. There isn’t a rule book, and there never was.

(Music fades out.)

Transition: Cheerful ukulele chord.

Speaker 1: Maximum Fun.

Speaker 2: A worker-owned network.

Speaker 3: Of artist owned shows.

Speaker 4: Supported—

Speaker 5: —directly—

Speaker 6: —by you!

About the show

Join host John Moe (The Hilarious World of Depression) for honest, relatable, and, yes, sometimes funny conversations about mental health. Hear from comedians, musicians, authors, actors, and other top names in entertainment and the arts about living with depression, anxiety, and many other common disorders. Find out what they’ve done to address it, what worked, and what didn’t. Depresh Mode with John Moe also features useful insights on mental health issues with experts in the field. It’s honest talk from people who have been there and know their stuff. No shame, no stigma, and maybe a few laughs.

Like this podcast? Then you’ll love John’s book, The Hilarious World of Depression.

Logo by Clarissa Hernandez.

Get in touch with the show


How to listen

Stream or download episodes directly from our website, or listen via your favorite podcatcher!

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