Transcript
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Gentle, trilling music with a steady drumbeat plays under the dialogue.
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Speaker: Bullseye with Jesse Thorn is a production of MaximumFun.org and is distributed by NPR. [Music fades out.]
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“Huddle Formation” from the album Thunder, Lightning, Strike by The Go! Team. A fast, upbeat, peppy song. Music plays as Jesse speaks, then fades out.
jesse thorn
It’s Bullseye. I’m Jesse Thorn. Time now for a segment we call The Song That Changed My Life. It’s a chance for creators we know and love to talk about the music that made them who they are. This time, it’s Aya Cash. Aya is an actor. She played Gretchen Cutler on the comedy series You’re the Worst. She was extraordinarily good on that show. She was Stormfront on the superhero show The Boys. Also, wonderful in that role. And these days, she is the charming star of the very funny sitcom Welcome to Flatch. Welcome to Flatch is based on a British show called This Country. It takes the faux documentary approach to television-making. A crew heads to the town of Flatch, Ohio to profile the residents and document daily life. Only, it’s a comedy. So, the characters are goofballs and weirdos. One of the weirdos? Cheryl, played by Aya. Cheryl is a reporter in Flatch. Or actually, she is the reporter in Flatch. She writes for The Flatch Patriot, which is the only paper in town.
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Music swells and fades.
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Cheryl (Welcome to Flatch): Jimmy and I are road tripping to Cleveland! [Chuckles.] We’re both nominated for the regional Ohio journalist awards. Same category, actually. Best Investigative Reporting. I did an exposé on the girls’ volleyball team, down at County High. They deflated the balls to win the playoffs.
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Music swells and fades.
jesse
Anyway. When we asked Aya Cash about the song that changed her life, she took us back to her childhood growing up in San Francisco in the ’90s, riding in the car with mom and dad, and listening to… yeah. Ani DiFranco. Here’s Aya.
aya cash
My name is Aya Cash, and this is the song that changed my life. The first time I heard “Untouchable Face” was probably in the car with my mother. I would say that most of my music when I was a kid came through my parents. So, I was most likely in the car—though I can’t claim to remember the exact moment. But I do know that listening to that song was the first time I thought that a song was speaking to me. [Music fades in.] I had been really in love with different songs before, but nothing ever felt like it was actually coming out of the pit of my stomach and through my ears, like from the inside out. So, yeah. I would say that that was the first song that sort of ripped me open.
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“Untouchable Face” from the album Dilate by Ani DiFranco. [Volume decreases and continues under the dialogue.]
aya
The song sort of starts—it goes [singing a few bars of instrumental]. It’s a very sweet sort of very simple little melody. It’s actually—I learned to play it on the guitar. I think it’s the only song I learned to play on the guitar ever.
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[Volume increases.] I could make you happy, you know If you weren't already I could do a lot of things And I do [Volume decreases and continues under the dialogue.]
aya
She’s so sweet and vulnerable at first. [Laughs.]
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[Volume increases.] Tell you the truth, I prefer the worst of you Too bad you had to have a better half She's not really my type But I think you two are forever And I hate to say it But you're perfect together So, [censored] you And your untouchable face And [censored] you For existing in the first place And who am I [Volume decreases and continues under the dialogue.]
aya
It’s so unassuming at first. And then, sort of comes out with “[Censored] you and your untouchable face. [Censored] you for not being available to me.” You know. But it’s all in this sweet, melodic, soft song at first.
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[Volume increases.] Two-thirty in the morning And my gas tank will be empty soon Neon sign on the horizon Rubbing elbows with the moon A safe haven of sleepless Where the deep fryer's always on And the radio is counting down The top twenty country songs And out on the porch the fly strip Is waving like a flag in the wind [Volume decreases and continues under the dialogue.]
aya
You know, there’s like something about it that is a paradox. It’s—like, many things are true, and I think when you’re 14 and really struggling to figure out who you are and—you know, “who am I that I should be vying for your touch”, but also—you know, screw you for not loving me. And yeah, that girl you like is boring.
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[Volume increases.] And who am I That I should be vying for your touch? I said who am I? I bet you can't even tell me that much [Volume decreases and continues under the dialogue.]
aya
The first time I heard it, it connected. I think, one: it has a swear word in it. So, that obviously catches my attention. And also, I was just so deeply obsessed with love at that point in my life. And obviously—well, I say “like everyone”, but I’m sure there were some blessed people who weren’t rejected. But I was often in the pining mode. [Laughs.] And “Untouchable Face” is almost an anthem against the one you love for not loving you back.
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[Volume increases.] For existing in the first place And who am I That I should be vying for your touch? I said who am I? [Volume decreases and continues under the dialogue.]
aya
I was often the one madly in love with someone from afar, trying to get their attention.
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[Volume increases.] I bet you can't even tell me that much I said who am I? Somebody just tell me that much I said who am I? Somebody just tell me that much And who am I? Somebody just tell me that much [Volume decreases and continues under the dialogue.]
aya
I would include this on a mixtape for a friend, but not—[playfully] not a lover. [Chuckles.] But I wouldn’t put her on a guy tape, because I grew up in the ’90s, conditioned with dumb gender norms where I was told by guys that Ani was not cool. You know? That it wasn’t cool music for me, but it was. It’s funny, when I was—when I decided to do this segment, I joked. I said, “Do I go with the cool answer or the real answer?” Because there’s still that conditioning of—especially, like I think of even—I think of Jesse Thorn as like, you know, a music aficionado. [Chuckles.] Like, oh gosh, Jesse’s gonna judge me! [Laughs.] But I also know that that’s dumb. And I’m an adult now, and I don’t need to buy into a culture that is dying. So, this is the honest truth and the cool choice. It’s actually both. So, [censored] you and your untouchable face! [Laughs.]
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“Untouchable Face” by Ani DiFranco performed live. Yeah! Yeah! [Volume decreases and continues under the dialogue.]
aya
I think Ani has played this at most of the shows that I’ve been to. And I haven’t been to a show in many, many years, but it was definitely one of her bigger hits that the people were excited for and ready to hear.
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[Volume increases.] Think I'm going for a walk now I feel a little unsteady Don't want nobody to follow me Except maybe you [Volume decreases and continues under the dialogue then fades out.]
aya
I think it must be so interesting to be a musician and planning your playlist knowing that you can sort of craft the tension around like, “Am I gonna hear the song I wanna hear?” I’ve been listening to Ani again recently, and I’m—I was working with someone who’s a bit younger than I am who is also listening to Ani and also sort of into that ’90s Ani. And just what I connect to now is so different than what I connected to then. [Music fades in.] But she still holds up! I mean, an incredible artist. I would say that music still connects to me now.
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“Untouchable Face” from the album Dilate by Ani DiFranco. I see Orion and say nothing The only thing I can think of saying Is [censored] you And your untouchable face [Volume decreases and continues under the dialogue.]
aya
I think the song changed my life because loved it enough to not care whether other people thought it was cool or valid or the right kind of music. I feel like I was so certain in my love for it that it grounded me in a belief that I was right about something, even if somebody else didn’t think so. And at a young age, when you’re trying on different personalities and figuring out where you fit in, it’s nice to have something that you believe in and that you believe in your own belief, because people can be very malleable at that age, trying to fit into any sort of community. And I think it was the first time I was like, “I know exactly what I like and that’s enough.
jesse
Aya Cash on the song that changed her life: “Untouchable Face” by Ani DiFranco. You can watch Aya in the very funny show Welcome to Flatch. The second season is streaming now on Hulu. If you haven’t watched You’re the Worst, I’m gonna go ahead and recommend that to you as well. She’s totally brilliant in that. And hey, if you’re an Ani DiFranco fan, I did a great interview with Ani a couple of years ago on this show. Go into the podcast archives. Just google “Bullseye Ani DiFranco” and take a listen. What a cool lady Ani DiFranco is. [Song ends.]
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Cheerful synth with a steady beat.
jesse
That’s the end of another episode of Bullseye. Bullseye is created from the homes of me and the staff of Maximum Fun, in and around greater Los Angeles, California. Here at my house, the three trees that I planted out front are starting to lose their leaves. They’re either dying or just deciduous. Only time will tell. Our show is produced by speaking into microphones. Our senior producer is Kevin Ferguson. Our producers are Jesus Ambrosio and Richard Robey. Our production fellow at Maximum Fun is Tabatha Myers. We get booking help from Mara Davis. Our interstitial music is by DJW, also known as Dan Wally. Our theme song is “Huddle Formation” written by and recorded by The Go! Team. Thanks to them and to Memphis Industries, their label. Bullseye is on YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook. Find us in all of those places, follow us. We will share with you all of our interviews. And that’s about it. Just remember: all great radio hosts have a signature signoff.
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Speaker: Bullseye with Jesse Thorn is a production of MaximumFun.org and is distributed by NPR. [Music fades out.]
About the show
Bullseye is a celebration of the best of arts and culture in public radio form. Host Jesse Thorn sifts the wheat from the chaff to bring you in-depth interviews with the most revered and revolutionary minds in our culture.
Bullseye has been featured in Time, The New York Times, GQ and McSweeney’s, which called it “the kind of show people listen to in a more perfect world.” Since April 2013, the show has been distributed by NPR.
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