Judge John Hodgman Episode 32: The Cow Beef


Ted brings this case against his father Paul, who has become obsessed with cows. Ted argues that his father's cow collection and his inclination to randomly say the word cow, among other issues, indicate the need to tamp down the cow-talk. Paul argues that his obsession is merited, because "cows are our most important animal friends."

You may view the evidence after the jump, and as always, you may subscribe to the podcast in iTunes or through this RSS feed.


Submitted by Paul:

Exhibit A
"This is me in cow suit with Dexter and Gordon in full Halloween mode with the milk pail for distribution of milk chocolate."

Exhibit B
"The one with the wings in the right foreground is the (battery powered) Holy Cow.
Each has its own name. Obviously, the list is long. All are gifts from friends and family. Ted is responsible for several.
I did not photograph the assorted cow paraphernalia around the house (assorted calendars, tee shirts, note paper, ornaments, cow mugs, moo mixer, and other stuff)."


This man is great

And I was cackling with love and was reprimanded with ted all too seriously


COW! = Brilliant
My kids will hate me too!
-Uncle Velvet

Need. New. Episodes.

Need. New. Episodes.

OMG, this episode was the worst

What is with this guy? How can he call himself a champion and protector of cows when he is all about their exploitation?? The episode almost made my head explode. For all his "love" of cows, he should do a bit more research on them. In the beginning of the episode, he listed eggs as one of the things they "give" us. (Props to JH for pointing out that they do not "give" these things but that they are taken and that the cows in question are often killed long before they have a chance to live out their natural lives.)

About the eggs...

A few people tweeted about my dad stating that eggs are a dairy product. The logic behind the eggs, according to my dad, is that "eggs are in the dairy section of the grocery store, and everything in the dairy section come from cows." It was intentional. Sad and demented, but intentional.



The whole time I was listening to this podcast I had this song running in the back of my head: http://open.spotify.com/local/The+Seldom+Herd/Philadelphia+Chickens/Cows...
Disclaimer: I have young children.

Cows Make Eggs?

This was the best John Hodgeman episode ever, but I couldn't believe no one caught Paul when he said cows give us eggs. Also, I expected a bigger reaction from Jesse when learning about the miniature cows (Dexters).

Bread and butter present

What in the bedevil is a "bread and butter present"? It sounds like code for "I have something for you, but don't get your hopes up."

Gary Larson

While listening to the Dad, it had occurred to me that he tended to anthropomorphize the cows. And then, in considering that notion, I wondered if Dad was a fan of The Far Side cartoon, where cows, often in ordinary, human, domestic circumstances, are featured.

The Far Side

I don't know anyone who isn't t a fan of Far Side. Of course, cow cartoons are my favorites.