Episode 45: Apocalypse Row

Episode 45

Carrie and her husband Phillip have a disagreement about their emergency plans in the event of apocalypse. They live in a small town in southern Georgia. Phillip argues that the best plan of action is go directly to the nearest Walmart and stage a takeover. Carrie disagrees, and feels that a strategic retreat to the woods (or even, any place that is NOT Walmart) is a better idea.

Episode notes

Pop Quiz: The super-pocalypse is imminent –the zombies have already crawled out of their graves and infiltrated the capitol. Volcanic earthquakes have devoured the coastal cities in flames and you realize you’re no longer safe in your home. Where do you go?

Carrie and her husband Phillip are at odds like billionaires and the 99%. The dispute of whether or not to Occupy Wal-Mart is at such a fever-pitch the four horseman are breaking a sweat. Phillip has a military background and believes that the most logical plan is to take control of a nearby Wal-Mart which is fully stocked with food, ammunition and has cold storage. It’s also easily defensible.

Carrie, on the other hand, feels that a more holistic approach to fleeing the locust swarm is the answer. She posits that Wal-Mart on Black Friday is already like the rapture and that the best medicine is to stay away. With abundant farmland and plenty of Natural Resources nearby, a return to nature will provide a safe haven.

Should they batten down the hatches and roll back the prices or live off the valley in the shadow of death? Only one brave man (who’s actually written a book about just this sort of thing) can decide! Judge-ment-Day John Hodgman

STREAM OR DOWNLOAD THIS PODCAST
SUBSCRIBE TO THIS PODCAST in ITUNES or the RSS FEED
VIEW THE EVIDENCE

EVIDENCE

From Phillip

Two photos showing Phillip’s readiness to lead his group to security (and hopefully, safety). This is Phillip — “Sarge,” as he’s known to the townspeople — in his vehicle.

An aerial view showing his proximity to the Walmart. His neighbor is one of the folks included in his emergency plan.

In this episode...

About the show

Have your pressing issues decided by Famous Minor Television Personality John Hodgman, Certified Judge. If you’d like John Hodgman to solve your pressing issue, please contact us HERE.

Follow @judgejohnhodgman on Instagram to view evidence from the cases tried in court.

How to listen

Stream or download episodes directly from our website, or listen via your favorite podcatcher!

Share this show

New? Start here...