When a con man abducts commander Data, his only ways to pass the time are trying to smile and trying to sing to a hand puppet. The Enterprise crew’s only hope is to start taking Geordi’s conspiracy theory website seriously. What century has the best bubblegum smell? How anti-semitic is this whole deal? Is her chin messed up because alien or because surgery? It’s an episode that has fewer small hand jokes than it probably should.
When a problematic engineer takes out his frustrations on the holodeck, everyone questions the protocol of recreating real crew members there. But after the ship's glassware is threatened, the fragility of the rest of the Enterprise systems are exposed. Why can't you just transfer your problems to the USS Hood? How do you responsibly dispose of your old pornography? Is Geordi not the creepiest guy on the ship anymore? It's the episode where "trouble always follows."
When low rent Michael Rapaport comes aboard, the Enterprise finds itself in a race to capture a living starship that the Romulans really want. Will putting Rapaport on suspension stop the mayor from breathing down Picard’s neck? How big can a banger get? It’s an episode with a big uncomfortable conversation about the show.
When Captain Picard needs a backrub, Doctor Crusher prescribes a vacation. Trouble is, the all-inclusive resort Commander Riker recommends appears to be "full service," and the pages in his book aren't spill proof. Can Picard go "chest to chest" with Riker? Is there any job on the Enterprise dangerous enough for red pants? What is "low knuck"? It's the episode where we prescribe to "The Maron Rule."
When Picard is re-re-re-body snatched and replaced by an insane impostor, the crew goes through the same routine of misgivings-leading-to-mutiny that they always do. Meanwhile, the real Captain has to escape from space jail with a blue cadet, an ersatz Nausicaan, and a big fan of Australian opera. Who will wind up doing the corny monologue jokes in this episode? Will Wesley let Picard hit on Beverly? Where we gonna poop? It’s the episode where Picard turns the music up to eleven.
When the Klingon exchange program gives the Enterprise a very hostile second in command, it's up to the crew to fall in line or risk being murdered in a turbolift. The new guy's meatloaf looks familiar, so he and Worf take a trip to visit their old stomping grounds to dispute an old family controversy. What's the mortality rate in a Klingon hospital? Is it a good idea to "sprinkle the dog" around when you meet new people? Should the hosts take holidays off? It's the episode that was almost called, "Don't Be a Menace to the Klingon Homeworld while Wearing Your Robe in the Hood"!
It’s finally going to happen, people. Many songs enter, but only one jam can be crowned the Song of the Summer. Guy, Oliver, Margaret, and Wynter bring their picks and some suggestions from the Facebook group and discuss what really makes a summer jam. Writer and analyst Chris Molanphy comes in with hard data to see what is objectively the Song of the Summer. Sia, Calvin Harris, DNCE, Lizzo, and so many more are brought into the fight. Who wins? The answer may shock you.
That’s My [Podcast] Jam:
When Data has a child out of wedlock, the Captain is furious. But when an Admiral from Child Protective Services decides to come take away the bouncing baby android, Picard goes into full blown lawyer mode. What are Riker’s intentions towards Data’s daughter? Can Picard just routinely defy Starfleet? It’s an episode with more Kevin Uxbridge than the Kevin Uxbridge episode.
When a butthole in space expels a version of the Enterprise from the past, the crew we've come to know are changed in ways no one can perceive - except for Guinan. In this alternate reality, the Klingons are eating the Federation for breakfast, and Captain Picard has to decide whether or not to send the visiting ship back to its own time. Could Worf be a "secret old"? Shouldn't Yar be due for a promotion by now? Is Ben's dog okay? It's the episode with no logic in it at all!
When Riker gets accused of murder, Picard fights his first officer’s extradition the only way he knows how: by putting together a few days of holodeck Rashomon. The situation gets dire when radiation starts turning the ship into Swiss cheese. Why doesn’t Data compare Picard’s art style to potato Jesus? Is there any explosion Chief O’Brien can’t pull an away team out of? Is Riker secretly a total madman? It’s an episode in which our grievances with certain other Star Trek podcasts are laid to bed, and then inflamed anew.