Judge John Hodgman Ep. 182: Clearing the Docket

| 9 comments

Bailiff Jesse and Judge Hodgman return to chambers to clear out the docket.

WHERE CAN I SEE JUDGE HODGMAN IN REAL LIFE?

Great question! Judge Hodgman is out on the road right now, touring the Midwest and Northeast United States! Chicago! Milwaukee! Akron! Hartford! and more. Find a tourdate in your area here!

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Comments

gator bar

There already is a Gator themed bar. http://www.bewareofthegator.com/

Room Temperature Salad!

Judge Hodgman, clearly you need to spend more time in South East Asia. You would not only feel more confident in your pronunciation of pho - but you would also become familiar with gado gado - an Indonesian salad always served at room temperature (typically with warm rice cakes & peanut sauce). http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gado-gado

Kartoffelsalat or the original hot salad

Dear Judge Hodgman,

I would like to submit as evidence the traditional south German salad as a clear and indisputable example of a hot salad. According to your judgement in this episode, all salads are served cold. Several experts have already weighed in with their favorite warm salad recipes, however, I would anticipate that this evidence could be considered opinion and conjecture re: the definition of a salad.

I would like to submit into evidence this exhibit, Exhibit A, a citation to the development of the classic south German potato salad, kartoffelsalat.

http://europeinyourkitchen.blogspot.com/2013/03/german-potato-salad-kart...

The term kartoffelsalat literally translates to potato salad in Germany and though I have had difficulty substantiating a concrete timeline of its inception. I would argue that this version of a hot salad predates a large number of the cold salads you reference, e.g., tuna salad and chicken salad. I will admit that the northern and thus colder regions of Germany did use a mayonnaise-based potato salad, the southern regions including Bavaria have a long history of eating not just warm, but hot potato salads.

I would ask that you take this new evidence into consideration when determining the criteria for what constitutes a salad. Dismissing kartoffelsalat disregards a long and cherished cultural heritage that many Germans and those of German descent hold dear.

I respectfully ask for your previous judgement to be overturned so that I can enjoy my warm potato salad with the knowledge that is has been sanctioned as such by the highest fake, internet court in the land and deemed worthy of salad-tude by an esteemed and impartial arbiter.

Best regards,
Neil M.

Hot Dog/Sandwich: No one calls a square a rectangle.

Sorry if this has been discussed to death, but not that sorry because here I am kicking that pale horse. I don't think we cut hot dogs in half because they are meant to be eaten on the spot. If anything, you tear it in half to share, i.g. when you have the hungry children of cheap parents in your care. You don't cut sandwiche h'orderve in half either, but they are still sandwiches.

I do think you are right, however (and If you can make a name for this I am sure it would be a cool T-shirt and I will buy it personally) ) for a different reason: We all know that every square is a rectangle, but no one sees a square and refers to it as "the rectangle" because it is less precise and just jackassian. In the same way, a hot dog and hamburger are sandwiches but no one who is not a jackass would call them that.

■ everyone who calls this a rectangle is a jackass, but not every jackass calls this a rectangle ■

Karl L

Hot Dog/Sandwich: No one calls a square a rectangle.

Sorry if this has been discussed to death, but not that sorry because here I am kicking that pale horse. I don't think we cut hot dogs in half because they are meant to be eaten on the spot. If anything, you tear it in half to share, i.g. when you have the hungry children of cheap parents in your care. You don't cut sandwiche h'orderve in half either, but they are still sandwiches.

I do think you are right, however (and If you can make a name for this I am sure it would be a cool T-shirt and I will buy it personally) ) for a different reason: We all know that every square is a rectangle, but no one sees a square and refers to it as "the rectangle" because it is less precise and just jackassian. In the same way, a hot dog and hamburger are sandwiches but no one who is not a jackass would call them that.

■ everyone who calls this a rectangle is a jackass, but not every jackass calls this a rectangle ■

Youppi!

Hi guys, just to reaasure you all out there. Youppi is alive and well! After the demise of the Expos, Youppi was recruited by the Montreal Canadiens and hasn't missed a game since, a record unmatched by the team's current roster. Yeah, Youppi is a real trooper.
http://canadiens.nhl.com/club/l_fr/gallery.htm?id=11059&iid=93495

-Biggie Ray

The correct answer to the salad question

Beloved Judge John Hodgman,

I am a huge fan and a great admirer of your intellect, which is why I am so disappointed that you did not come around to the correct answer to the "what is a salad" question. This is the classic question of categorization, anchored on the one end by Aristotle ("what are the necessary and sufficient characteristics to include something in a category") and on the other end by Wittgenstein ("what defines a game"). The salad question is a classic Wittgensteinian example - I disagree that a salad must be cold (spinach with hot bacon dressing, hello), and there is simply no one thing that can ultimately qualify something as a salad. But we all know what salads are. It's like pornography. You know it when you see it.

This also applies to birds. And to colors. May I direct you to the first couple chapters of George Lakoff's "Women, Fire, and Dangerous Things." It's fascinating.

Thank you so much for all you do,
Carolyn Cracraft

Best one yet

This is my favorite episode of judge hodgman so far! I have never laughed this hard at an episode before. Hate to say it but I really love these clearing the docket episodes. Maybe it's because I love the extra abuse of the fans or maybe just the increased interaction and word games between judge and Jesse.
I love Judge John Hodgman, it's the only podcast I listen.

Hot Salad

A salad can indeed be a hot!
My favourite recipe for a hot salad is to heat up in a sautee pan: spinach, cherry tomatoes, any other veg-e-tab-les that would accompany this mediterranean themed hot salad, and a mild splash of balsamic vinegar. Garnish with feta or blue cheese, crumbled toasted walnuts, and a wedge of a citrus fruit like a lemon or lime should you like.
I agree with most things you discuss ,hence why I love this show and it is hilarious, but this issue had to be ad-dressed. Zing!