True Stories of the SFPD

Posted by Maximum Fun on 7th April 2006

One time, I went looking for a “crime blotter” on the SFPD website, becuase there was a string of shootings outside my house. Well, no dice, but I found something much, much, much better. The Northern District Community Newsletter is sort of a like the greatest episode of Law & Order ever filmed. It’s a newsletter, maybe written by a cop, I dunno. It starts out with some newslettery stuff (hiring announcements, community fairs, that kind of thing), and then moves on to the AWESOME PART: crime stories. Like this one, picked at random:

Friday December 30, 3:25 AM, Prositution Arrest: Officer Kennedy and Officer Paulsen were working in plain clothes in the area of California St. and Larkin St. They observed a woman whom they recognized from a myriad of prior contacts for prostitution related activity. They observed the woman for a short while. She hailed several cars and eventually got one to stop, most likely because her diaphanous blouse commanded a certain amount of attention. The officers observed as the woman entered the car and the driver left the area. The officers followed the car and found the couple engrossed in hedonistic activity. The officers interceded and the couple was arrested. The man was released on a citation and the prostitute was booked at county Jail due to the fact that she would have plied her trade in perpetuity had the officers not removed her from the streets.

It’s in PDF form, and I had to retype that one, or I’d post more. They are wonderful. The word “scallawag” is used liberally. Amazing, amazing stuff.

And to think, all this was going on in my neighborhood!