Understand that I do not condone downloading or illegal internet file sharing, because it’s just like Lars from Metallica coming in your dorm room and messing everything up or whatever.
But let’s say I wasn’t so dead set against it (which I am). I would visit this amazing blog. And I would make backup copies of things I already owned for my own personal educational use. Like Albert Brooks’ long out-of-print albums. And David Cross bootlegs. IF I wasn’t against it, which I am.
Anyway, the blog linked above is called Milton Berle’s Cock, and it reminds me of an old showbiz yarn that I heard somewhere and think it HILARIOUS. You should know that it’s not family-friendly.
Anyway, Uncle Miltie had a legendarily large schwantz. One day, a young, upstart comic goes up to him and says, “I hear you’ve got the biggest dick in comedy.”
And Miltie says, “Well, I’m a modest man…”
and the kid says, “Come on… we’ll have a contest.”
And Miltie says, “No no no…”
and the kid says, “Come on… we’ll have a contest…”
And Miltie says, “Kid, gimme a break.”
and the kid says, “You chicken, Miltie? I’ll whip out mine and you whip out yours and we’ll see whose is bigger! Come on!”
and Miltie says, “Fine. But I’m only taking out enough to win.”