Judge John Hodgman Episode 219: Axed and Answered

Monte Belmonte

Jen brings the case against her boyfriend Adrian. Adrian has his heart set on buying and displaying an "artisanal axe" in their home. He says it would be a beautiful and practical item to own. Jen says it breaks her rule against having weapons in the home, and opens them up to other beautiful but dangerous items -- what's next, decorative swords??

Who's right? Who's wrong? Only one man can decide.

Danny Lewin named this week's case via the Judge John Hodgman Facebook page. Thanks, Danny!

If you want to be part of a nicer place on the internet, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook or follow us on Twitter @Hodgman, Bailiff Jesse @JesseThorn.

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Submitted by Adrian

Exhibit A: "This is my dream axe."

Exhibit B: A photo of their living space, including the mantel where the axe would likely be placed.



Coming this fall on The History Channel, A new advice talk show for lumbersexuals. It's Axe Men.


Coming this fall on The History Channel, A new advice talk show for lumbersexuals. It's Axe Men

artisanal logs for your artisanal axe

If you are going to buy an artisanal axe, might as well get artisanal logs to go with it.


the video is hysterical

Missed opportunity!!!

"Axed and anSword!"

Come on people! How did that get missed?

Utility swords are still around

Swords are still around in use today. Much of the world is familiar with the "utility sword," also known as the humble machete.

I don't mean that Bear Grylls-Gerber abomination, I mean a simple piece of metal with a handle used to harvest crops, dig holes, slap a donkey on the rump, and defoliate land. I once saw a guy change a watch battery with one, hand to God.

The machete has its darker side as well, having been the grotesque tool of preference for genocides and massacres in places where firearms are worth a year's income. The reader will likely have heard of such an occurrence in their own lifetime - even you hipster youths. Axes haven't carried this grim reputation since they were in the hands of Vikings.

Furthermore, nomadic people of the Sahara, especially the Toureg and Fulani/Peul use swords for self-defense today. Herder/farmer conflicts are common, and a well-cared for and sharp sword, often with magical properties (so I've been told), is as common a sight among herders as a water bottle.

The only people that relinquish swords to the days of Renn faires and cosplay are those living in the same sort of fantasy world and don't see it. They also likely think a good axe that has never felled so much as a twig is worth hanging in a place of notoriety in the home.

There is actually a shop in

There is actually a shop in Toronto that sells those Gränsfors Bruks axes. In the interest of not buzz marketing I will not include the name of the business but I assure you it is real and easily found on the internet.

How can you want a

How can you want a double-headed axe, and it not be this one?

They also do some amazing swords, well worth checking out.

Because that is hideous, it

Because that is hideous, it is neither a legitimate felling axe nor a legitimate fighting axe.

T-Shirt worthy...

"A good compromise, like a two bit axe, cuts both ways"
The t-shirt would of course have the portrait of our guests as well...

what is art??

Who would hang self defence weapons on the wall? A presented axe is as much art as a paper mache rhino. I suppose the long arc of justice is shaped like an axe handle, or whatever... Love your podcasts guys

Another Option

Wetterlings Axes are beautiful and useful.
-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfZ3mbRbZM8 (Proof of quality)

Sidenote: Having a drawer of knives is not a weird thing, and anyone that does have one thinks it is weird that you don't. (but I am not John Hodgman so no judgement)

A compromise?

Maybe as a compromise......

Pot, Kettle, Axe

Speaking for all the sword guys...you fit right in.