Judge John Hodgman Episode 156: Two's Company

Jordan Morris

Judge Jesse Thorn takes over for Hodgman this week, and the bailiff's spot is filled by Jordan Morris!

Margaret files suit against her male housemate and best friend, who's lied to his family about living with a woman. She wants him to come clean! He says it would only complicate things. Who's right? Who's wrong?

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Thanks to Marc Naimark for suggesting this week's case name! To suggest a title for a future episode, like us on Facebook at Judge John Hodgman. We regularly put a call for submissions.



Bailiff Judge Jesse Grade

"You're laughing but it doesn't sound funny at all" pretty much summed up everything about this case. A lot of nervous laughter from Bruce here. The word "milquetoast" came to mind almost immediately upon hearing his voice, and Judge Jesse appropriately called him on it. Having said that, this was a missed opportunity to upbraid a man who badly needed some medicine, even, nay, especially if it doesn't taste good. Bruce is ashamed to own up to living with a woman with whom he clearly has no physical history (or chemistry). He is of age and is ashamed to drink a Shirley Temple in front of Mamaw (a contemptible nickname for an adult to continue to use for his grandmother).

Bruce seems to be a very nice guy but the judgment in this case did him a disservice. I would have ordered him to not only tell the grandparents that he's living with Margaret but also to LIE and say, in an unnecessary amount of detail while drinking shots of tequila, that the relationship is highly physical. This would counter-balance the previous lie, force Bruce to stop cowering in fear that his grandparents will stop sending him $25 for his birthday because he lives with a FRIEND, and also have the benefit of not upsetting the grandparents because there's no way they'll believe it's physical. I think Judge Jesse just wanted to get this weird little journey into these people's worlds over with. And while I can't blame him, these two deserved better. And by better, I mean worse. Bruce, be more assertive and honest with your family. You are obviously a good guy. You have a friend who really likes you, even if she's a bit overbearing and clingy. That's nothing to be ashamed of. Stop hiding it. Be you.

Judge Jesse Grade: C+

I'll also judge guest bailiff Jordan Morris. I've always enjoyed his particular brand of snark in his contributions to Canadian Wiretap. He did not disappoint here. The banter between Jordan and Jesse was enjoyable and I'll probably check out their show.

Bailiff Jordan: B+

--The Bailiff Judge

Great job Jesse and co!

Great job Jesse and co!

Where is Judge Hodgman? This

Where is Judge Hodgman? This is a kangaroo court!

He will return, don't you

He will return, don't you worry. See this message from Jesse.