Episode 489: Mr. Commode’s Wild Ride

Episode notes

Lauren files suit against her mother, Cheri. When Cheri dies, she says she would like her ashes flushed down a toilet at Disney World, so her remains are recycled with the water used for the flowers in the parks. Lauren is opposed! Who’s right? Who’s wrong?

Thank you to Chris Nuber for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, follow Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Evidence from Mr. Commode's Wild Ride

two white women with blond hair standing in front of a floral display, with green shrub-like sculptures of Chip & Dale

Submitted by Lauren. "Mom and I at the EPCOT Flower and Garden Festival, look how easily I could just secretly put some ashes right on the flowersMom and I at the EPCOT Flower and Garden Festival, look how easily I could just secretly put some ashes right on the flowers."

a woman wearing a Tinkerbell costume pouring a tiny vodka bottle into a drink

Submitted by Lauren. "My mom sneaking alcohol into her non-alcoholic drink in the Magic Kingdom (this is illegal = she is irresponsible)"

two women posed in front of a statue of Walt Disney and Mickey Mouse. The women are posed in the same style as Walt and Mickey.

Submitted by Lauren. "My mom and I, in front of the Partners statue, BECAUSE WE ARE PARTNERS!!! TWO OF US, TOGETHER, AGAINST THE WORLD ALWAYS!! We are teammates, we think about each other always. We consider the thoughts of the other person! We are a team!"

close up selfie of two women at Disneyland. They are wearing sunglasses and the woman on the right is drinking a beverage out of a Mickey Mouse fun straw

Submitted by Lauren. "Mom and I in our happy place, mom please don't ruin this for me."

a woman crossing a finish line with confetti in the air. She is wearing a Tinkerbell costume. Costumed Donald Duck, Minnie Moue, Mickey Mouse, and Goofy are surrounding her.

Submitted by Lauren. "Me winning the Disney Princess 1/2 marathon in a Tinker Bell costume to show you how magical Disney is to me and how flushing my mom down the toilet would send me into intense therapy for decades."

a cartoon style toilet that has waste in it and looks gross

A filthy disgusting stinking toilet covered in poop and urine

a woman holding her cat. The cat is upside down with fangs out.

Submitted by Lauren. "Pic of me and my cat Monty, just so John and Jesse know I have a cute cat (he is in food coma, I just gave him a lot of crab)"

old photo of a woman with a child strapped to her back in a baby carrier

Submitted by Cheri, "I’ve been a spectacular mother and she owes me."

a photo of a woman crouched standing next to a small girl

Submitted by Cheri. "I’ve been a spectacular mother and she owes me."

In this episode...

John Hodgman

Host

Jesse Thorn

Host

Jennifer Marmor

Producer

Daniel Arón Speer

Video Editor

AJ McKeon

Audio Editor

Megan Rosati

Social Media Specialist

About the show

Have your real-life disputes settled in Fake Internet Court! Despite no legal background, Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn are the arbiters of justice that you need. No case is too big or too small. They judge them all!

Is a hot dog a sandwich? When does a collection become a hoard? Is it ever ok to flush soup down a toilet? Only one can decide! Submit your dispute at maximumfun.org/jjho!