Esmé Weijun Wang’s Mind Convinced Her She Was Dead and In the Afterlife

Episode 236

24th November 2025

The author of The Collected Schizophrenias shares an unusual mental health journey

Episode notes

Cotard’s delusion, also known as Cotard’s syndrome, is an extremely rare condition where the patient believes that they are actually dead. For the bestselling author Esmé Weijun Wang, Cotard’s came along after she had already been traveling a difficult road that involved schizoaffective disorder along with a host of other mental health issues. While experiencing Cotard’s, Esmé urgently told her husband that he was dead too and so was their dog. She believed, was certain, that the life she was experiencing was kind of a simulation where she had to prove herself worthy of a second chance and not an eternity in Hell. We also hear about the shocking way Yale handled Esmé’s mental health and about the trauma very early in childhood that she thinks led to the complex PTSD that fueled a lot of her mental health challenges.

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In this episode...

Guests

  • Esmé Weijun Wang

About the show

Join host John Moe (The Hilarious World of Depression) for honest, relatable, and, yes, sometimes funny conversations about mental health. Hear from comedians, musicians, authors, actors, and other top names in entertainment and the arts about living with depression, anxiety, and many other common disorders. Find out what they’ve done to address it, what worked, and what didn’t. Depresh Mode with John Moe also features useful insights on mental health issues with experts in the field. It’s honest talk from people who have been there and know their stuff. No shame, no stigma, and maybe a few laughs.

Like this podcast? Then you’ll love John’s book, The Hilarious World of Depression.

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