Jesse seems to be bak to full strength, but until I hear the difinitive “Sign off, NOW, Mr. Garden,” am going to post a handful of other items. Specifically, Jesse asked me to post a little “Behind the Scenes” at the Onion. So here it is in all its boring glory!
While not at the Onion, this is how my day began: feeding the stray kittens in my back yard. Any day that begins with kittens can’t be all that bad, I guess.
Following a quick trip to Costco, a subway ride and a lot of sweating, this is what I arrive to: air-conditioned comfort and Jessie Dean, my pal and our office manager. Any day she’s in a good mood can’t be all that bad, I guess.
(Note: Amelie asked that I replace her picture with something else. As I respect Amelie and her privacy, I am replacing it with the hand-drawn inspirational poster that is next to her desk.) Every day, I pass by Amelie Gillette (and a hand-drawn inspirational poster by her desk), AKA The Hater. As you you were once able to see, she’s preparing to hate on something. I believe in this case it is Snakes On A Plane. Any day that begins with hating can’t be all that bad, I guess.
Finally, I’ve handed my jokes to Dan and Eric, our interns, to type up and wind up in my office. I’ve been meaning to clean for a while. That couch, for example? It’s under all the paper? Totally functional if I would move everything off of it. What you can’t see in this photo is Joe’s Cold Beverages, the bodega I run there. The three tenets are value, convenience and wetness of beverages. Temperature can vary. Any day with cold beverages can’t be all that bad, I guess.
This is our Thursday meeting where we go over certain daily and weekly content, like Stat Shot, Infogrpaphic, American Voices and material that’s only in the print edition, like obituaries and wedding announcements. It can be a long and grueling time poring over jokes. Not the laughter-filled envoironment you would think. Today went well, though, because we talked about our various horrifying exam stories. Clockwise from lower left: Megan Ganz, Mike DiCenzo, Dan Guterman, Chris Karwowski, Chet Clem and Andrei Nechita. Any day aw nuts to it.
These are the fake magazines I make out of the cardboard that comes in our Chinese food orders. The reason the upper left one (White Baby Magazine) is so perforated and whited out is that Dan Guterman can not stop fiddling with things. In this case, he chose to stab my fake magazine with a pencil. I have since bought him a Rubik’s Snake to fiddle with. It does okay.
And these are the origami bears I fold to keep my hands occupied. Right brain activity or some such nonsense.
And lastly, this is our fake Albert Brooks autographed photo. I have a few more blank photos. Let me know if you want me to sign one as Albert Brooks for you, and I will send you one. I can also do Robert Altman if you’d like.