It's Go-Homes week on the Bachelor as Nick narrows down the roster to this season's Final Four. Which, of course, means this episode was kind of lame -- BUT -- we got a big surprise announcement in the form of confirmation of the next Bachelorette! Join us as we just freak the hell out about it.
We know that Valentine's Day can be rough for some folks, so in this episode, we take the whole idea of the holiday to task. Like, when they hear our incisive rips in this episode, they might just cancel the whole dang holiday this year.
Suggested talking points: Taco Bell Dragnet, One Good Fall, Great Valentine's Day Jokes, Self-Spoilers, Plane Movies, Birds vs. Humanity
Our heroes are forced to square off against their deadliest former foes -- but their real challenge comes in the form of a danger the likes of which they've never experienced. Taako gets primal. Merle gets disconnected. Magnus gets a couple of helping hands.
We don't know where to even begin talking about this episode. It was seriously the most bizarre two hours of programming this franchise has ever put together, complete with inscrutable plot twists and 180-degree tonal shifts that changed the course of the season with virtually no explanation. It's a wild, wild ride, and we're gonna guide you through it.
How about that Super Bowl, and all the things that happened during it? You know a lot of people are calling it the Super Bowl, but -- heh -- we're not sure it was that "Super." Anyways, those are the jokes we're doing this week, hope you like 'em.
Suggested talking points: A Super Bowl Christmas, Michael Jorban, Figginsworth, The Mole: Sexual Bonanza Edition, Two Horses, Lemon Flash Mob, The Final Piece is Teamwork
We spend a good 20 minutes of this episode talking about fast food and 20 minutes about workplace kissing etiquette, leaving us with a tidy 20 mintues to address virtually all of your other concerns. As if you'd have any other concerns, after all the fast food and work kissing discussion.
Suggested talking points: 20 Minute Chunks, Touchable Carbs, Lost at Wendy's, Torn Pants Dreams, A Professionally Blown Kiss, I Am Glenn Close, Amusement Park Kisses, Herpes Trout
Strange things are afoot in Wonderland as our heroes find themselves aided by an invisible accomplice -- but will their secret plan pop off before the boys lose something precious to the Wheel? Merle does some costly healing. Taako gets into cosmetics. Magnus forgets.
HEEEEYYYYYYYYY DO YOU ALL LIKE CORRRRRRRRNNNNN?!?!?! This is a Corn-heavy episode, because the Bachelor has become a television show that's exclusively about Corn, and her wayward journey to find love.
Bust out the homemade Ouija and join us for a journey into the supernatural realms that slumber beneath our own. We're gonna talk to a magic dog that keeps reincarnating as different would-be Dennis Quaid assassins. Then we're gonna name FIVE WHOLE SONS. FIVE OF 'EM.
Suggested talking points: A Dog's Purpose Watch, Shower Milk, A Genuine Ouija, Workplace Departure, A Solid Oak Frash, Hack the World, John Hancock
What's up, Gearheads? We made an episode just for you! Join us for an in-depth discussion on Justin's new ride, and listen in as he breaks down all the special modifications he made both under and above the hood. This baby's got a Hemi, whatever that means.
Sugggested talking points: Justin's New Car, Bassism, Altaba Answers, Ronald's Sex Commercial, Tapping, Brendan Frasier Deep Dive, Too Many Stuffies