Comedian and Jordan, Jesse, Go! host Jordan Morris gives his top five for December.

JESSE THORN: Once a month my colleague Jordan Morris steps into the recording booth to tell us what's up, what's down, what's hot, what's not, what's worthwhile and what's worth tossing in God's United States. Here he is with Jordan Ranks America.

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JORDAN MORRIS: New to the list at number 5 this month, it's Dad's temper. Hugs and yells are both possible when you play mood roulette with Mom's main man.

Holding steady at number 4, it's pure maple syrup. Mrs. Butterworth's and her chemical-based slop can take a hike! This is the good stuff.

Debuting at number 3 this month, it's a 35-year-old in a Misfits t-shirt. This tubby party animal proves that just because you have a couple of kids, doesn't mean you can't drink durin ghte day and listen to songs about monsters.

Rocketing onto the list at number 2, it's Christmas music. Previously thought to be annoying, these seasonal tunes have proven to be beneficial to both pet behavior and male potency.

And our number 1 list item, it's shelving. Done with a book? Don't just throw it away -- place it on a shelf for later use. You'll be glad you did.

From the bottom to the top, I'm Jordan Morris.

JT: Jordan Morris joins us once a month for Jordan Ranks America here on The Sound of Young America. He also co-hosts the podcast Jordan, Jesse, Go! with yours truly. You can find it online at maximumfun.org.