Judge John Hodgman Episode 66: Antisocial Networking

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Show: 
Bullseye

This week’s case pits friends Lauren and Mike against each other in a battle over social graces. Lauren brings the case against Mike – she claims Mike texts, emails, and updates his social networks when he should be devoting his attention to their conversation. Mike believes performing these tasks while socializing with others is completely appropriate, especially if the offending phone use is for professional purposes. Is it time for Mike to hang up the phone, or is Lauren wrong in prioritizing face time over screen time? Only one man can decide.

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EVIDENCE

Submitted by Lauren


"Mike texting at his desk."


"Mike looking up blankly with little recognition of his surroundings when I approached him."


"Proof of friendship -- me and Mike at a party with other co-workers about a year ago."

Submitted by Mike


"Proof that we work together (despite how much this development has come to aggravate me)."


"Proof that Lauren, too, loves her [redacted for buzz marketing] - a device that I encouraged her to get in the hopes of making her look more professional (despite the many obstacles that still stand in my way)."


"Lauren doodling during a meeting at work. This is a regular occurrence. What would Miss Manners say?"

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Comments

The complainants

Are they becoming increasingly insufferable, or is it just me? Of course the judge wades through to provide prudent justice all the same but still.

Holy crap

that buzzing sound scared the crap out of me.

Me too! I was at my gym and

Me too! I was at my gym and I started looking around for the source of the buzzing like a crazy man hearing voices. I missed some of the show, so I went back, heard the sound and did all over again!

Gotcha!

I love the show, and could only aspire to be as wise as the judge. But I thought of a perfect solution. Lauren should text/emai/canadianhouseofpizzaandgarbage.net him whenever he ignores her to play with his phone. It will drive his so crazy he will stop.

Get a room!

Am I the only one while listening to them that was shouting in my head : "Get a room!" ?? These guys love each other but are too stuck in their role of old couple to do something about it. Come on, let the phones/arguing go and kiss/fuck/have a joint-account!

Yes except Mike is ostensibly

Yes except Mike is ostensibly gay.

Get a room with two beds

I don't mean to put too fine a point on this, but isn't it pretty clear what was meant at the beginning by there being "no possibility" of them being interested in each other romantically? She is not Mike's type. Gender-wise.

Really? I don't think he

Really? I don't think he would be interested in her, if you know what I mean.

I don't think Mike is

I don't think Mike is "compatible" with Lauren, as she isn't her "type", because Mike sounds like he likes "men", and he that he is "gay".

You realize the guy is gay?

You realize the guy is gay?

Pretty sure Mike's gay

Pretty sure Mike's gay

Nope

Haha. Not a chance. We're both gay. (This is Lauren.)

Not really. Mike states

Not really. Mike states explicitly that A) He's in a relationship and B) He's gay.

I think it was made pretty

I think it was made pretty clear that he was gay. So... I don't think you're right.

Yes, you are the only one.

And apparently not listening very well. He has a boyfriend, so I don't imagine their "getting a room" would lead to any k/f/haj-a.

Preeeeetty sure Mike is gay.

Preeeeetty sure Mike is gay.