Judge John Hodgman

Judge John Hodgman Episode 417: Moms Are Gonna Mom

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Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn are back in chambers to clear the docket. They talk about gifts for in-laws, red baseball caps, group photos, puzzles, and ghosts. Plus a listener letter about Korean Fan Death!

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 416: Open House Arrest

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Eric files suit against his fiancee, Elena. Elena has banned him from sharing online real estate listings with her. Eric would like the ban to be lifted, so they can be prepared to buy a house when the right one comes along. Who's right? Who's wrong?

EVIDENCE

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Thank you to Mark W. Gray for naming this week's case! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 415: Gesundfight

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Becca brings the case against their wife Bridgett. Becca says that Bridgett has terrible sneezes, and would like her to tone it down. Bridgett says this is just how she sneezes, and that Becca should let her sneeze in peace. Who's right? Who's wrong?

EVIDENCE

Affidavit from Britt

I, Britt, of New York, NY SWEAR THAT:

1. I have known Becca for ten entire years and have considered them a very best friend. I have known Bridgett for about 4 years and have witnessed the development of this relationship over time. I am a frequent guest of this couple’s household and enjoy their hospitality and cats.

2. On one occasion, Becca and I were watching a true crime documentary in their living room. Bridgett was in the kitchen cooking some sort of meal. What followed was an absolutely unacceptable eruption of sound, jolting me from my chair and resulting in me missing important details about the murder case. It was a “sneeze” produced by the defendant, and it was rude and unnecessary. Becca and I were both shaken, and we had to rewind the documentary to catch what we missed. I could only imagine the spittle that might have landed on at least 1 out of 4 cats.

An action such as this must be punished, in my opinion. I was but a witness to this event, but can only imagine the pain and hardship Becca has to endure each and every day.

Affidavit from Warren

I, Warren of Milwaukee, Wisconsin SWEAR THAT:

I have a friendship and former roommateship of nearly eight years with Bridgett, and a friendship of nearly six years with Becca, and as such have personal knowledge of the facts and matters herein and believe the same to be true.

I have witnessed Bridgett spilling lit hookah ash onto a carpeted floor;
I have fed Bridgett's cats out of necessity through her own negligence;
I have done Bridgett's dishwashing assigned to her -- particularly after asking her to do it multiple times over the course of weeks and at one point, more than a month;
I have suffered at the hands of fruit flies after Bridgett has not done her washing;
I have suffered at ants invading our pantry in response to poor cleanliness;
I have been fed raw egg products in the guise of "good cooking";
I have unclogged tub drains stuck with Bridgett's hair;
I have cleaned up spills, scuffs, scrapes, and stains left in Bridgett's wake -- especially alcohol that has become sticky;
I have had to deal with Bridgett's scattered clothing, which is always dirty clothes that haven't found the wash;
I have had to deal with extremely long baths in an apartment with only one bathroom;

I testify that due to such derogatory conditions of roommateship, I fled from Wisconsin to Connecticut for two years in order to heal from the traumatizing and monstrous behavior, and when that distance wasn't enough, I moved overseas. I have only just returned, only on the condition that I move to a new neighborhood and have a new roommate. I still avoid the neighborhood where Bridgett and I lived. I am learning to heal but it will take time.

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Thank you to Michael Haas for naming this week's case! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 414: Making Stock, Taking Stock

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Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn have some more cases on the docket to clear! This week they talk about feeding kitchen scraps to chickens, recording elderly relatives' stories, diluting homemade food with store bought food, using the stove top fan, putting cold hands on your partner, and follow up on tipping!

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 413: Live From Los Angeles 2019

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Guests: 
Aimee Mann

This week's episode was recorded live in Los Angeles, with musical guest Aimee Mann! The first case is "Family Freud." Then Aimee joins Judge Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse on stage for Swift Justice. She helps them rule on cases regarding getting a pet, a massive CD collection, and bread baking in hot weather.

EVIDENCE

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Thank you to Anni Goryl & Andrew Brooks for naming this week's case! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 412: And Baby Makes Plea

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Guests: 
Nick Offerman

Allison brings the case against her husband, Jeremy. They are trying to make room in their home to accommodate the baby they have on the way. But, they can't figure out a way to accomplish this while maintaining Jeremy’s workroom. With Expert Witness Nick Offerman!

EVIDENCE

Here's Allison and Jeremy's pregnancy announcement video:

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Thank you to Brock Maust for naming this week's case! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 411: Yankee Boot Swap

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Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn are in chambers this week to clear the docket! They talk about living with one's mother after getting married, cheating coffee shops out of a few extra ounces of coffee, photos of friends and family as home decor, and twin birth orders. Plus follow up letters about Italian surname pronunciation and Avogadro's number!

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 410: Life Hacks With Judge John Hodgman

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Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn are in chambers this week to clear the docket! They talk about theater worthy movies, snow plowing, traveling while sick, wearing high school letter jackets as an adult, and bed times! Plus a letter in response to a previous docket case on sock folding.

EVIDENCE

Here's a photo of Steph's sock technique:

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Judge John Hodgman Episode 409: Live From San Francisco Sketchfest 2019

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Guests: 
Nnekay FitzClarke
Guests: 
Martin Luther McCoy

This week's episode was recorded live at San Francisco Sketchfest! The first case is "Bleach of Contract." Then, Nnekay FitzClarke of MINORITY KORNER joins the stage for Swift Justice! She helps the judge rule on cases about home clutter, fancy dog breeds, and song key changes. Plus music from Martin Luther McCoy!

EVIDENCE

Click here to read the Goat Manor Mythos, provided by Riah.

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Thank you to Sarah McCulley for naming this week's case! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put out a call for submissions.

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Judge John Hodgman Live in Los Angeles

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Date: 
06/06/2019 - 08:00 - 09:30
City: 
Los Angeles, CA
Venue Name: 
The Regent Theater

Judge John Hodgman LIVE IN LOS ANGELES, CA! with musical guest Pete Fields
Thursday, June 6, 2019 at 8:00pm (Doors at 7:00pm)

The Regent Theater
448 S Main Street
Los Angeles, CA 90013

TICKETS GO ON SALE WEDNESDAY APRIL 3 at 10AM PT! CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFO!

Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn are riding the circuit to bring Live Justice to a stage near you.

Direct from Judge John Hodgman Podcast (named Fifteenth in Rolling Stone’s top 20 comedy podcasts!), Judge Hodgman and Bailiff Thorn are bringing their mix of non-swearing comedy, pop culture obsession, and sheer, unadulterated fake legal wisdom to the stage.

If you have a long-simmering fight with a friend or loved one that you’d finally like resolved, submit your case to maximumfun.org/jjho and specify that you wish to be heard live on stage and tell us where you live.

Or, just shut your pie hole and come and enjoy the show!

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