Star Trek

Ep 75: No Pathos in a Bowl Cut (S4E2)

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While the ship is being duct taped back together after a certain ‘incident,’ the crew takes some time to dredge up grievances with their loved ones. For Picard, it’s his stridently conservative brother. For Worf, it’s his embarrassing parents. For Wesley (the boy?!) it’s an old holo tape of his dad’s that isn’t as exciting to find as that sounds. Are replicators just microwaves? Does retirement still make people crazy in the 24th century? It's the episode where we speculate about what ever happened to Jim Shimoda.

Ep 74: The Hammer Loop (S4E1)

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When Commander Riker fires on a ship containing Captain Picard, it's finally clear why he passed up all those other promotions. But when facing an enemy who knows all his best moves, the newly-promoted Riker must resort to some unorthodox techniques to save the human race. Where is the USS Hood? What is a "personal banger"? How do you dispose of a pip? It's a great episode buried in a pile of garbage!

Ep 72: Mount Knuckmore (S3E25)

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When the Enterprise beams aboard a mysterious survivor of the wreckage of space ship crash, it's up to Dr. Crusher to nurse him back to health. But when the patient starts placing his "gifted hands" upon some of the crew, Captain Picard must decide if his crimes can be so easily wiped away. What does Geordi's VISOR smell like? Where can we get a "Body Glove Wetsuit O'Brien" action figure? Is this Worf's idea of dating? It's the episode where the hosts prefer the blue Powerade.

Ep 71: Yub Yub (S3E24)

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Send help! I’m trapped in a podcast factory and they’re forcing me to write a capsule for an episode featuring Ferengis AND Lwaxana Troi!

Ep 70: Kool-Aid Jacuzzi (S3E23)

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When a legendary Vulcan diplomat starts acting strangely ahead of an important conference, the Enterprise crew chalks it up to old age. But when his brand of mental disability becomes contagious, glass tables around the ship aren't the only thing in jeopardy. Can we workshop a worse throw-to-title scene? Is this episode "canonical Ghostbusters 2"? What happens to a kid at a bar fight? It's the episode where we learn, "Never mind-meld with your heroes."

Ep 69: Nice (S3E22)

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When a con man abducts commander Data, his only ways to pass the time are trying to smile and trying to sing to a hand puppet. The Enterprise crew’s only hope is to start taking Geordi’s conspiracy theory website seriously. What century has the best bubblegum smell? How anti-semitic is this whole deal? Is her chin messed up because alien or because surgery? It’s an episode that has fewer small hand jokes than it probably should.

Ep 68: Magazine in the Woods (S3E21)

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When a problematic engineer takes out his frustrations on the holodeck, everyone questions the protocol of recreating real crew members there. But after the ship's glassware is threatened, the fragility of the rest of the Enterprise systems are exposed. Why can't you just transfer your problems to the USS Hood? How do you responsibly dispose of your old pornography? Is Geordi not the creepiest guy on the ship anymore? It's the episode where "trouble always follows."

Ep 67: Space Pinecone (S3E20)

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When low rent Michael Rapaport comes aboard, the Enterprise finds itself in a race to capture a living starship that the Romulans really want. Will putting Rapaport on suspension stop the mayor from breathing down Picard’s neck? How big can a banger get? It’s an episode with a big uncomfortable conversation about the show.

Ep 66: Captain's Knuck (S3E19)

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When Captain Picard needs a backrub, Doctor Crusher prescribes a vacation. Trouble is, the all-inclusive resort Commander Riker recommends appears to be "full service," and the pages in his book aren't spill proof. Can Picard go "chest to chest" with Riker? Is there any job on the Enterprise dangerous enough for red pants? What is "low knuck"? It's the episode where we prescribe to "The Maron Rule."

Ep 65: So, This Monica Lewinsky (S3E18)

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When Picard is re-re-re-body snatched and replaced by an insane impostor, the crew goes through the same routine of misgivings-leading-to-mutiny that they always do. Meanwhile, the real Captain has to escape from space jail with a blue cadet, an ersatz Nausicaan, and a big fan of Australian opera. Who will wind up doing the corny monologue jokes in this episode? Will Wesley let Picard hit on Beverly? Where we gonna poop? It’s the episode where Picard turns the music up to eleven.

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