Can you guys even imagine how psyched we were for the Kentucky Derby? This is a day about honoring the best that horsekind has to offer. It's about the cream of the crop among a species that is already cream of the animal crop. Yes, please.

Suggested talking points: Acid Magnate, Second Place, Pony Regrets, The Best Testicle Day, Murdermask, Wolfwhistles, DuckTales

Shhhhhhh. Yes, we did an episode this week. But, please, listen to it at a low volume. Some of us are trying to nap off an all-day drunk. Like, most of us. Two out of three of us.

Suggested talking points: Coors is Cool, Company Ink, Cyble, First Dance, Mellencamp, Cat Smooches, Chun-Li

Happy Week Two of Max Fun Drive 2013! Have you donated yet? If so, we'll provide you with a special version of this episode, edited to remove all onomatopoeic egg sounds and Jaleel White impressions.

Suggested talking points: MBMBMaM 3D IMAX Re-Release, The J Files, Fast Food Bathroom, Incredible Inedible Egg, Straight Shooting, Krav McGraw, Anger Surrogate, Monstro Slash-Fic, Sonic Slash-Fic

Is this episode a day late? Yes. Is it a dollar short? Absolutely not. We'd say it's a dollar richer, since we had an extra day to ruminate on your questions, providing even more potent measures of sweet, sweet wisdom.

Suggested talking points: Passover the Dutchie, Lonely Wife Swap, The Worst Fast and Furious Movie, Arby's Reunion, Hydranting, Two Dads, Family Photos, Romantic Audiobook

It may be Daylight Savings Time, but we wouldn't recommend skipping this particular hour of comedy. Also, we are very tired, and are going back to bed. Enjoy the show.

Suggested talking points: How Was the Dick For You?, A Falcon Attack at Your Wedding, America's Serious Home Videos, Daniel Day Nutchuckles, Get out of here Columbo, A Penis Pump that Plays Chris Gaines, You're the man now dog, Dude, you're getting Adele tickets.

We made a podcast for you! Sure, it's got some rough edges, and is made of macaroni, and is not a podcast at all but rather a piece of macaroni art. But still, a LOT of love went into it.

Suggested talking points: Favorite Oscars, Squatting, iButt, Dansexual, Big City Livin', Hot Topic Apocalypse

Art thou brave enough to conquer the latest episode of My Brother, My Brother and Me? Dost thou possess the constitution to bear our sports references? Can you survive Justin's truly horrific audio quality? You cannot. You have died.

Suggested talking points: Puppy Bowl XFL, Co-Worker in the Iron Mask, Valentine Minefield, Homemade 24, Love in a Hopeless Place, Oh No, Undergroundhog

Did you know that zinc can absolutely wreck you? Did you know that? Zinc will send you to the moon. You will know that by the end of this, our most chemically-altered episode to date. Buckle the hell up.

Suggested talking points: Alex Jones Knife Hour, Serendipity, Zinc Tripping, Gun Love, A Visable Slug, Tykel and Myler's Food, The Works of James Joyce, Dog Pubes

We apologize for the audio in this week's episode -- not because we all sound bad, but because Justin sounds so good that it makes the other two sound like chumps. Also, we talk about Wienerville for about ten minutes, which probably also constitutes "bad audio."

Suggested talking points: Justin's Jaundice, Green Acres, Furry Church, Po-Ta-Toes, BIKE ME, Justin's Sidewalk of Stars, Visible Puppetry, A Glowing Piece of that Radical Rock

As with past installments in our annual Candlenights spectacular, we've managed to talk to one another for an entire hour without cursing, so it's good to share with the fam. Well, we actually cursed a lot. But we edited that out.

Suggested talking points: Holiday MagiQuest, A Collander of DVDs, The Buckiverse, Frosty the Homunculus I Made Out of Wet Sand, Book in a Sock, Two Turntables, Tim Curry's Pokemon Treats

Justin learned the power of his own shirtless form, Travis read a whole book (without help!) and Griffin got engaged. It truly is an important week for our family's growth and well-being.

Suggested talking points: The Quintuple B, M'load, Garfield Surgery, The Time Travis Almost Saw Neil Diamond, Dildos in Disguise, Shoe Slogans, Secret Butt Presses, Gift of the Magerbil

Happy Franksgiving! This week, we're sharing our thankfulness for aggressive hip-hop dance moves, drugs for horses, and having sex with Craigslist.

Suggested talking points: Praying Mantis, Horse Weed, Recovery Pop-Tart, Holy Krump, Pecan Thief, Old Strength

You have a very, very important decision to make this week, friends: What kind of birthday presents should you get Justin and Travis? What do they deserve? What color goes best with their eyes?

Suggested talking points: Kindling, Coffee Camper, Jackie's Boner Brew, Ocean's Fourteen, Funky Unky Dunky, OK Cupid Freaks

We know that this particular episode may seem directionless, even more so than the typical MBMBaM experience. To that criticism, we would respond: Not all who wander are lost. Yeah? Think about that, critic guy.

Suggested talking points: Penthouse to Basement, Ghost Combos, Splitting Tips, Woodcock, Flying Knife, Usher's Advocate

We suggest you take the proper precautionary measures to fend off the unseasonal chill that's swept this country of ours. Maybe wrap yourself in a Sheetz quilt, or just let us whisper into your ears for 10 uninterrupted minutes.

Suggested talking points: Gas Station Blanket, Quad City Gangbang, Sexy Dan Aykroyd, Honeyhands, Noodling the Loaf, Two on the Floor, Weed Whispers

Ah, Fall. Smell the crisp autumn leaves and squash-scented candles. See the children, begrudgingly returning to school. Hear three brothers talk about the dark secrets of Juggalo Nation.

Salty Chocolate, Gift of Gab, Horsebush, Da-a-a-ddy, Dude Food, Juggalo Shame

Which football team has the best ball-runners? Which quarterback's arm is the hottest? Which catcher's got the stickiest hands? Who's got the drive, the hunger for touchdowns? Tune in for our sage-like Fantasy Footbal Tips.

Suggested talking points: Final Fantasy Football, Don't the Don't, Bide'd, Bareback, My Last Husband, Birthday Break-Up, Dad's Emojis

Summer's coming to a close, but we're still riding high aboard the SS MBMBaM. The boat drinks are flowing, we've got a no-limit charge card at Extreme Restraints and the Republicans are one step closer to realizing our nation's long-held dream of getting a rich dude elected president. These, friends, are the golden years. But can they last?

Suggested talking points: If You Like Romneycoladas, Griffin literally forgets the vice president's name for like five minutes, Slammo Jammo'd, "We've helped literally no one," "Game of Thrones, I finally get it."

Hello, oldest brother Justin McElroy here. I've taken over posting duties from Griffin this week, but I don't really know the things he normally writes. Does he just try to get you excited about it? Cause man, this episode ... it's got, you know, jokes. Jokes for miles. Oh man, the goof to not goof ratio, she's just dizzying.

Suggested talking points: Oh shit, what goes here? Like, the things we talked about? Umm, there was the thing about John Candy and the Jamaican Running Team, Griffin said "straight up Christmas crazy" and then we did the Womenade thing that I mentioned before and ... I don't know, it had lots of jokes.

People all over the world: Join hands. Start a love train. Now, throw this episode of MBMBaM into the firey engine of that train. Let us power your train until it pulls into Good-Time Station.

Suggested talking points: Willard Defense Fund, Frasier's Nine Lives, Horses of the Sea, Hotel Tipping, Beard Arousal, All of the Words, Heroism

After a one-week forced sabbatical (thanks, derecho!), we're back and wetter than ever, ready to dole out all manner of advice on subjects we know little to nothing about. Except for derecho survival. We're basically experts on that, now.

Suggested talking points: Derecho Apocalypse, Forever Smell, Roommate Boundaries, Godwind, Straight-Edge Shrek, Illegal Cat Movies

In this episode, we try our darndest to humiliate our own father into submission, and have a surprisingly earnest discussion about the trials and tribulations of being as famous as we clearly are.

Suggested talking points: Dad Tales, Between Dunst and Buscemi, Bow and Arrow and Guitar, Mrs. Ronkonkomaw, Sleepy Office, Epsilon Dog, Corncob Goldbars, Hoarders, Knuckle Tats

This episode probably sports our worst audio quality to date, which we apologize for. We figured that an episode that made it sound like we were screaming at you while covered in bees would be better than no episode at all.

Chuck! Chuck, it's MBMBaM! Your cousin, MBMBaM? You know that new comedy advice podcast you're looking for? Well, listen to this!

Suggested talking points: Miners Part 3, Foreplexting, Jedi Bush, Askalate, Butt Problems, Geof & Ron Continued, Chubby Choker, Earl of Daveshire

In a continued effort to synergize our product to its maximum potential, we've teamed up with The Avengers this week to bring you the super-est episode of MBMBaM yet. Just don't forget, dear listeners: With terrible advice comes little to no responsibility.

Suggested talking points: Avengers Assemble, Life Coach, Karate Court, Dog Dick Limbo, Tempura Face, Customer Creeping, Pizza n' Dippins, Cop Tales, Chris Tucker Impressions, Spaceship Lingerie Football

You thought we were going to call it quits after a hundred episodes? We'll be honest -- we considered it. But we managed to overcome our extreme exhaustion to bring you another episode chock-full of tangents and straight-up gobbledigook.

Suggested talking points: Holo-B.I.G., Leap Anniversary, Scorpion Improvement, Recovery Sandwich Recovery, Choose Your Own Adventure, Wingmanning, The Theme to Doug, Lady and the Tramp Killer

Looks like we've made it! Look how far we've come, our babies. MaxFunDrive 2012 was a raging success, and it's all because you fine folks are so, so good to us. To thank you for your efforts, today's episode is pretty nasty.

Suggested talking points: Buried Alive, OkCupid Skinsuit, Swimfanning, Family Nudity, Tower Heisting, Momnapping, Bishop the Thundarian, Bathroom Preparedness

It's the first part of our two-part Max Fun Drive extravaganza! Reach into them pockets, and pull out whatever's in there, and then throw that away. We don't want your change, folks. We want sky-high stacks of crisp American bills.

Suggested talking points: Chuckle Tax, Terra Nova, The Thickness, First Impression Beans, Secret Marriage, Dungeons and Death, Dropping LBs, Step By Step

It's a week of highs and lows for the McElroy bros, ranging from tragic revelations about Golden Corral visits to how great it would be if famous Hollywood actors were actually Pokemon. Stuff it!

Suggested talking points: The Sore Tooth, Bat Pelts, Pet Celebrities, The Game of Bones, Making it Dwayne, "Put Your Soap in My Soap," Continental Divide, OG Water

We can't think of an episode that's as timely and relevant as the one you're about to listen to. Just in time for the Oscars, we're bringing you some truly sage-like movie talk. Sadly, that movie came out in 2004, and was the worst thing ever.

Suggested talking points: P.O.D., Impossible Dave, President Lamppost, Getting Zucked, Squatching, Dickolletage, Without a Paddle

We appear to have forgotten that it's Valentine's Week, because this particular episode doesn't include much actionable romantic advice. If only today were a holiday celebrating sword-based home security.

Suggested talking points: The Death of Zydeco, Krill Out Ya' Gills, Handsomeness, Dirty Diamonds, Boxing Tips, Budz, Civil Swords, Panic Rooms

We're centering our chakras and aligning our voodoo power centers to bring you our most spiritual episode to date. Come, join us as we look not only into the problems of our dear listeners, but also, the maladies of the soul.

Suggested talking points: Prisoner of Worship, Fridge, Third Wheel, Arch Duke Zach Morris, Dupree'd, Merksmanship, Bakulover

Yes, we took an impromptu vacation last week, for which we're eternally sorry. However, we come to you today as fully refreshed men, prepared to answer your queries and assail the internet-at-large with verbal and physical abuse. Come, beat up the internet with us.

Suggested talking points: Footsmanship, Whipped, The Pebbles Voicemail, Goat Boyfriend, Twerk Squats, Mr. Paula Deen, Lettuce, Run-around, Full House Trivia, When to Hold 'Em, Pokeality

It's our second annual Candlenights special, and you know that means! Actually, you might not, since it's only the second time we've done it. Oh, well, it means that we go the whole episode without dropping any profane language, so you can share it with the innocent, nubile ears of your family. Also, you shouldn't say "nubile ears" in front of them, because that's kind of profane.

Suggested talking points: Raspberry Pillow, The Long Con, Santa Baby, Trampires, 1 P.E., Christmas Conspiracy, Forever Lazy, Mistlesmooch, Measure Your Year in Gifts, The Briefness, Unwanted Twilight, Cat Buglary

We're live in Austin for the first part of our two-show comedy extravaganza. As it turns out, everything is bigger in Texas, and boy, does that include shame. Come, listen to our ill-conceived goofs and monkeyshines.

Happy week of Thanksgiving, everyone! In this episode, we discuss the many, many things on this Earth we're grateful for, and offend the Pat Morita estate within the first 90 seconds or so. It's a holiday show the whole family can enjoy, assuming they are bad people.

Suggested talking points: Sweet Potato Protocol, Five Years of Lovin', Sexy Kickball, Man vs. Sadness, Washing Off the Night, Risk/Reward, Before Twilight, Turbacon, On a Good Day

This week, the McElroy brothers are celebrating their own birthdays. All three of them. They were all born on the same day, because their parents would never do something so cruel as to leave one of them out of shared birthday festivities.

Suggested talking points: Birthdaze, Trivia Stragglers, Itchy Secrets, Lump Sums, Heart's Desire, Five Minutes of Seaman Humor, Purest Truesilver, Goof Ya to Sleep

It's our super special Halloween Spooktacular, and you know what that means: We quickly forget that it's Halloween, and start going off on tangents about high school boners and how cool Randy Jackson's eyewear is. Pretty spooky, right?

Suggested talking points: Dogg Pound, Hearse, Ingratia, Clownfish, The Fight Club Heist, Engorged, Cat-calling, Moving Like Jagger, The King of Dead

We'd like to take some time in this episode to apologize for all the straight-up erroneous garbage we've spouted in our previous dispatches. Of course, our apologies aren't comprehensive -- that would take the full hour -- but we come as close as we can manage.

Suggested talking points: Fill in the Gaga, Raspberry Fizzlespritz, Choddler Boyfriend, Genuine Bieber Fur, Toker Grace, Sad Libs Two, Manicurious, Skittlenips, Frank Lloyd Dirty Boi, Ghostly Doorknob

Is your body prepared for the ravages of cold and flu season? Are you all stocked up on vitamins B, C, E and J? If not, you need to listen to this episode -- it has all the nutrients your body craves.

Suggested talking points: Contagion, Ectoplasm, Pants Music, Sexy Cops, Bruceaphobia, Tech Wizard, No Phone, 12 Angry Feet

This week's episode is all about fresh experiences, like Travis' new horrible segment, or the first Pumpkin Spice Latte after a year of not drinking Pumpkin Spice Lattes. Out with the old, in with the new! (Actually, we're keeping the old.)

Suggested talking points: Pumpkin Spice Latte, Open the Briefcase, Stoneymoon, Extraordinary Accent, Sad Libs, Jerk-It Sheath, Bounce O' Clock, Get Busy Living Together

We hope you guys share our rampant fervor for Emmy season, because it's basically all we're talking about on this week's episode. Actually, we start out the episode talking about it for like two minutes, and then never return to it again, which is kind of par for the course.

Suggested talking points: Nuclear Family, Lonely Dew, Recovery Sandwich, The Bounty Hunter, Expectorate, Cat in a Hat with a Hat, Ambiguous Boyfriend, A Lonely Year, Skinny Driving

We realize that today's going to be fairly rough on the more youthful portion of our audience, as they'll be forced to march back to the confines of their educational prisons for nine more brutal months. We feel you, friends -- and that's why this week's episode is geared to help you deal with your back-to-school anguish.

Suggested talking points: Get Fit, Chess Team Cabal, The Dean's Couch, Cello Man, Dumb Things Justin Did in College, Figure 8, Kiss Flower, Seven Stars, Sexual Ed, Cursing Cursive

Unless this show ends up going on until the end of recorded time, this, our 66th episode, is likely to be our most satanic installment ever. We heard from this cool dude we met at our local incense store that if you play it backwards, you can hear all kinds of secret, totally psychedelic messages.

Suggested talking points: Bad Investments, Dream Spelunking, Dorm Warden, Looking at a Picture of Tracy Chapman, Mark Twain's Latest, Mighty Max Hash, Cool Urinal, Love Lawyers, The New Lunchbox

We took a brief breather from our tightly-regimented schedule of collecting Archie backissues and stalking Jon Favreau around the San Diego Comic-Con showfloor to break you off a slice of wisdom. Come, throw on your Spike Spiegel costume, and let's get this party started.

Suggested talking points: The Fattest Doctor Who, Chlamydia Day, He Who Shall Not Be Invited, Cooking, Space Camp, Quantum Leap 2, Creepin'

Instead of accepting and moving on from the fact that we missed last week's show to celebrate our freedom and heritage, we're just going to make-pretend that it's still last week. Which we're going to have to do every week until the end of time, we guess. We're not big on exit strategies, here.

Suggested talking points: The Zookeeper Collapse, Virginity Bandz, Malldate, Carrot Top Canary, Earth Girls are Easy and Deeply Submerged, Yu-Gi-Oh-Yeah, Stankadank, Cake Boss: The Dog

We've wished our father a Happy Father's Day the only way we know how: By making him proud of the things we say in our audio podcast. We probably should have asked him whether discussions about Hitler's ghost are the kind of thing that made him proud.

Suggested talking points: DickTwit, Hanging Out, Taco Bell Practicality, Hitler King vs. TMNChurchill, Dylan's BBGear, Tag It, Perfect Ponies, Pudcast, Pawnties, Grandpa Foot Fetish

Hey, you made it! We were getting worried. Some of the guys, they were like, "Oh, listener? They're not gonna show." And we were like, "No, man, you don't know listener like we know listener. They're good for it."

Suggested talking points: Phat Beach Con 2011, Kel's Antics, High Art, Peterin' Out, Normin' Up, Twin Mayors of Birthday Town, Megatoots, Another First Kiss, Verne Troyer Awareness

After recording in the comfort, safety and familiarity of our daddy's house, we've returned once again to our respective Midwestern and Appalachian home bases. It's sort of like that song "Take Me Home, Country Roads" only ... um, in reverse.

Suggested talking points: Kirk Cameron: Envoy to the Stars, GORP, Never Been Embraced, Candybeer, Crushed by a Yeti, Futureballs, Blanketarian, Where's Falcone

Hope you guys like Thor. We're talking Thor. It's basically all we're about, now. Advice, and also Thor, and sometimes long-since-cancelled television crime dramas. But mostly, just the Thor, thanks.

Suggested talking points: Loki Love, Willpower, Party Avoidance, PB Proboscis, Minigolf Kidnapping, Tantric Relief, C'mon and Graduate, Cold Case, Yabba-Dabba Divorced

We warn you: This particular episode is so chock-full of handy Easter tips, you'll wish you could time travel back to yesterday or, rather, 364 days into the future, to a time where that kind of information would be even remotely relevant. Also, we briefly rap about Apollo Four-Forty.

Suggested talking points: JC Chasez' Hang Glider of Success, Robodope, Weddingmania, Wolf Blitzer is Made of Light, King of Computertown, Dudekisses, Sexy Egg Hunt

You guys have stuck with us through one year of monkeyshines, so we've decided to reward you with a very, very special episode. What makes it so special, you ask? Its remarkable averageness. It took weeks of careful calculations, but we've managed to put together a real middle-of-the-roader, with levels of mere adequacy that you're likely not accustomed to.

Suggested talking points: A Stein of Mayonnaise, Work It Day, Doppler Dating, Roy Halladay: Known Robot, Prodigy Balls, The Workout of Independence, Boice-Over Fartist, Soul in Your Bowl, Little 54

After two weeks of terrifying change, we've managed to get the show back on its regular schedule. Though our brief tryst with Tuesday was exciting, we know that there are some folks out there who need a booster shot of wisdom to start off their working week. Well, here you go, wisdom junkie.

Suggested talking points: Hot Pocketism, Citizen of Jamaica, Wake and Cake, Deed to the Boathouse, Dad's Rig, Bongotron 3000, Math Boner, Present Fight, No Rules Just Right, Tickle Prostitute

On this week's episode, we take a short victory lap for the successes and triumphs of the Maximum Fun Drive. Actually, we don't take an actual lap, as we're all pretty out of shape, and that would make for some pretty bad radio. Just know that when we talk about Tyra Banks as a Street Fighter, we're doing so with victorious vim.

Suggested talking points: Squatters' rights, Love me like Jerry, George Lopez: The Chair, Eeney-Meeney, Veggiefriends, Cool.com, Eyebraushes, The Power of Love, Bathtub Broth

We hope you love unprecedentedly long episodes of podcasts, dearest friends, because that's exactly what you're getting -- this here episode contains a plump 81 minutes of wisdom and joy. We also hope you love supporting extra-long advice podcasts, because it's pledge week! We could really use a hand -- after all, we ain't heavy. We're your brothers.

Suggested talking points: Sexypants, Dragon Puberty, The Laws of Love, Ezekiel's Next Top Sister Wife, B'Doodleykitten, Paul Reubens' Dark Secret, The Thrill of the Chase, New Englandish

Hey, the internet: Will you be our Valentine? We'd be really, really great at it. We promise to shower you with gifts, by which we mean "give you this one podcast, right now, for free." Trust us, that's way better than a selection from Kay -- precious jewelry tarnishes over time. Our wisdom does not.

Suggested talking points: A visit from Vanessa Hudgens, Love DVDs, Businesstown, Hancock Goofs, Broodwife, William H. Macy in Cougarman and Gooseman, 214 It, Three Engagement Rings, Campfires and Baby Skin

In a weird twist, we've decided to spend time during this episode to actually provide our listeners with practical advice. You know, things you'll use every day -- like phone etiquette, or tips for naming your Chinchilla breeding business.

Suggested talking points: The Sandiego Slip, Wizard Pizza, PCP Juice, Minus Tephen, Doing the Deed, Vine-Ripened, Chin Deep